admin
10-05-2008, 05:59 PM
Wisdom for Today
On a dark and gloomy night, the lights of our old haunts can look very inviting. It is easy to get caught up in the memories of the good times we had. I would party until the wee hours of the morning. Drinking with friends, the camaraderie seemed so wonderful. It was my fantasies come true. But that was exactly the problem; it was fantasy and not reality. The night would end, and there was always the morning after. My wallet would be empty, and my head would be too full. Most of us have never seen the tavern the morning after with the smell of stale beer and cigarettes. There are a few of us who would frequent these establishments early in the day to stop the shakes in the morning.
When I was actively drinking and using drugs, I never thought about the next morning. I only focused on the night of partying ahead. I never thought about the consequences that might be awaiting me. This is what I must think about now. I must teach myself to think about the long view. When the lights of the tavern or the lights of my old using friends’ houses seem to shine brightly, I must think about the morning after. I can’t afford to think about the glitz and glamour of the fantasy life. I need to stay in reality - the reality that I can’t drink or use. Have I stopped the “magical thinking” about the fantasy life?
Meditations for the Heart
One of the questions I used to ask myself a lot was, “Why me?” I didn’t understand why I couldn’t drink and use like other people. I couldn’t understand why I kept putting others and myself at risk. I couldn’t understand why I was different. As I began my recovery, I continued to ask myself this question, “Why me?” Then one day things changed for me. Rather than asking, “Why me, why can’t I be like other people?” I began to ask, “Why me, why have I been given this opportunity for recovery?” Many addicts and alcoholics die of their disease. Why have I been selected to have another chance at life? My outlook changed as the question changed. I don’t have the answer, but I believe that God must have a plan for me. God wants me to be useful for His purpose. Am I willing to believe that there is a purpose for me in recovery?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Sometimes I still wonder and even question where You are leading me. Help me to trust and have faith that Your plans for me are good. Keep me willing to follow where You lead. Help me to keep a long-term view of drinking and drugging so that I don’t ever forget the morning after.
Amen.
-----
NA Just For Today
Amends Without Expectations
"Projections about actually making amends can be a major obstacle both in making the list and in becoming willing." Basic Text p.38
The Eighth Step asks us to become willing to make amends to all persons we have harmed. As we approach this step, we may wonder what the outcome of our amends will be. Will we be forgiven? Relieved of any lingering guilt? Or will we be tarred and feathered by the persons we've harmed?
Our tendency to seek forgiveness must be surrendered if we expect to receive the spiritual benefits of the Eighth and Ninth Steps. If we approach these steps expecting anything, we're likely to be very disappointed with the results. We want to ask ourselves if we are pinning our hopes on gaining the forgiveness of the person to whom we are making amends. Or maybe we're hoping we'll be excused from our debts by some sympathetic creditor moved to tears by our hard-luck story.
We need to be willing to make our amends regardless of the outcome. We can plan the amends, but we can't plan the results. Although we may not be granted a full pardon by everyone to whom we owe amends, we will learn to forgive ourselves. In the process, we will find that we no longer have to carry the burdens of the past.
Just for today: I will let go of any expectations I have on the people to whom I owe amends.
pg. 292
-----
October 6 - Daily Feast
Living is a little like a wedding - to make a deal takes only a minute, but to live with it may take a lifetime. Many have not learned that life is not a quick trip down the isle and if you don't find it to your liking you can start all over again. A good marriage is one of adjustments and then readjustment. It is sharing the hardships and the growing and sweetening that are in the middle of hardships. Little can compare with faith and looking out for others. It is giving and receiving, and we know it is not something outside ourselves that makes life worthwhile but what we have in our hearts.
~ I will keep my word until the stones melt. ~
DELSHAY - APACHE
'A Cherokee Feast of Days, Volume II' by Joyce Sequichie Hifler
*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*
Elder's Meditation of the Day - October 6
"Lots of people hardly ever feel real soil under their feet, see plants grow except in flower pots, or get fare enough beyond the street light to catch the enchantment of a night sky studded with stars. When people live far from scenes of the Great Spirit's making, it's easy for them to forget His laws."
--Tatanga Mani (Walking Buffalo), STONEY
Nature is life's greatest teacher. The natural laws are hidden in nature. Hidden are solutions to everyday problems such as conflict resolution, how to forgive, lessons about differences, how to manage organizations, how to think. Hidden are feelings. You can look at something and you will feel it. At night, have you ever looked at the sky when there are no clouds? As you look at all the stars, your heart will become very joyful. You will walk away feeling joyful and peaceful. We need to visit nature so we can see and feel these things.
My Creator, let me learn nature's lessons.
*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*
"THINK on THESE THINGS"
by Joyce Sequichie Hifler
Why is it that the things we love so much can cause us so much pain, and perhaps without realizing it? Why is it that we find so much to worry about in all the "what ifs" that cross our minds with such persistence? What makes fatigue follow us through the hours and drain away precious strength that we need to help us in our daily routine?
All the things that plague us daily have one common cause-fear. To some, fear is a constant companion. We may call it by many other names such as necessity, time, busyness, demands, but all of these can be forms of fear.
Fear produces the most mental, physical, and spiritual fatigue that has ever overtaken humans. It rushes us so that we have accidents. It drains us of strength to resist illness. It tells us we cannot produce enough to meet the demands upon us. And it builds within our minds such dire images so that we cannot face the simplest.
Fear has one antidote. It is not to stop worrying and take it easy, but it is faith. Adverse conditions cannot break us in the face of faith. Faith allows us to look fear in the eyes with such confidence that it loses its power over us.
English divine, Fredrick William Robertson, wrote, "To believe is strong. Doubt cramps energy. Belief is power."
-----
Daily Relationship Reading
If my SO has "wronged" me somehow in the past, I may have said I forgave them, or tried to, but am still feeling anger or hurt whenever I think about what they did.
What is it that makes some mistakes harder to forgive than others? Maybe it’s how I interpreted their motives. Maybe I thought their "mistake" showed a lack of caring or love for me.
But is it my SO’s mistake, or my interpretation of it that keeps me trapped in my struggles to forgive? Perhaps I find it hard to accept that their "mistakes" are simply part of being human, even the big mistakes. If I look at my own experiences, I can probably see many times when I made a choice I later regretted, even though it seemed like the right one for me at the time I made it. When I use my hindsight, I often discover my mistake happened because I missed seeing something, or believed something that I found out later wasn’t true. Or maybe my mind was clouded with emotions or thoughts that made thinking difficult.
Maybe my partner’s mistakes happened for the same kinds of reasons. Perhaps the problem wasn’t that they didn’t care enough about me, but simply that they were unable to clearly see what effects their choice would eventually have.
Just for Today
Today, I’ll try to change the way I look at my partner’s mistakes. There were definite reasons why they didn’t see the benefits of making a different and better choice, even if I don’t know what those reasons are.
Forgiving is not forgetting. It's simply remembering in a different way. - anonymous
-----
You are reading from the book Food for Thought.
Staying with God
God never forsakes us; we forsake Him. We become so involved in our concerns and activities that we forget to open our eyes and our hearts to His presence. We may be physically abstinent, but still allow food to have the most important place in our lives. If our Higher Power is not at the center of our lives, we will find it difficult (if not impossible) to be emotionally abstinent.
Emotional binges occur when we wander away from our Higher Power into self-centered preoccupation. Without His control, we lose our serenity. There will always be cause of conflict and frustration in our daily lives. How we handle these situations depends on our spiritual condition.
By ourselves, we cannot manage our own lives. Our behavior can be insane. It is through the Power greater than ourselves that we are led into order, sanity, and recovery. To stay with this Power is our salvation.
May we not forsake You.
-----
You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
What we do upon some great occasion will probably depend on what we already are: and what we already are will be the result of previous years of self-discipline. --H. P. Viddon
In the ninth inning of the baseball game with a tie score and the bases loaded, the batter hit a home run. The fans and the team cheered wildly, and the batter was jubilant.
What many fans did not know was that he had been playing on baseball teams for fifteen years. Many times he struggled without being noticed. He wondered if he was any good or not, and there were days he had to make himself go out and practice. He made many mistakes, but his love and dedication for the game had always won out.
It is the years of discipline that prepare us for our big moments in life. Daily practice and love give our lives a direction, even through times of doubt and despair. By doing our best each day and learning from our mistakes, we prepare ourselves for the big moments--the home runs--in our lives.
How are my mistakes and pains today a part of my future success?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Forgiveness is another word for letting go. --Matthew Fox
Learning forgiveness - both granting it to others and accepting it for ourselves - is one of the primary means of a man's spiritual recovery. Many of us, after entering this program, are plagued with strong feelings of guilt. We have finally become accountable, and we see our lives in a new perspective. We long for a chance to undo our mistakes. Many men carry guilt for years as if they deserved to be punished. Our recovery program tells us to let go.
Simply going through the motions of forgiving or accepting forgiveness will not get us very far. We must squarely face our feelings and tell someone so we are no longer alone with our guilt. Then, if there is the possibility for repair without further hurt, we must make repair. In this concrete way we can be genuinely forgiven and fully accept forgiveness. When a man has a spiritual experience like this, he matures and gains the ability to forgive others.
I am grateful for the relief of being forgiven and letting go of past mistakes. I will genuinely let go of my guilt and resentment.
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Many people are living in an emotional jail without recognizing it. --Virginia Satir
Each of us is blessed with an internal guide, a source able to direct our actions if we but acknowledge it. Never are we in doubt for long about what path to take. The courage to take it might not be immediately forthcoming; however, it, too, is one of the gifts with which we've been blessed. Courage is ours for the asking. Right direction is ours for the taking.
Trusting our inner selves takes practice, followed by attention to the results of our risks. Before recovery, many of us passively waited for others to orchestrate our behavior, our feelings, and our attitudes. Stepping forward as the leading lady, with our own script in hand is quite a change, but one we are being coached, daily, to make.
The Steps help us to know who we are. More importantly, they help us become the women we long to be. But most important, they offer us the spiritual strength to risk listening to the message within and the strength to go forth as directed.
Right results, again and again, are elicited by right action. And my knowledge of the right action is always, and forever, as close as myself.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Taking Care of Ourselves
It's healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That's different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel resentful and victimized - because ultimately, what we feel, want, and need will come to the surface.
Some people seem to invite emotional caretaking. We can learn to refuse the invitation. We can be concerned; we can be loving, when possible; but we can place value on our own needs and feelings too. Part of recovery means learning to pay attention to, and place importance on, what we feel, want, and need, because we begin to see that there are clear, predictable, and usually undesirable consequences when we don't.
Be patient and gentle with yourself as you learn to do this. Be understanding with yourself when you slip back into the old behavior of emotional caretaking and self-neglect.
But stop the cycle today. We do not have to feel responsible for others. We do not have to feel guilty about not feeling responsible for others. We can even learn to let ourselves feel good about taking responsibility for our needs and feelings.
Today, I will evaluate whether I've slipped into my old behavior of taking responsibility for another's feelings and needs, while neglecting my own. I will own my power, right, and responsibility to place value on myself.
Today I am doing everything that I can to totally accept me as I am. Today I am doing everything that I can to totally accept you as you are. I am free to have an honest relationship with me and you today. --Ruth Fishel
God help me to stay sober and clean today!
On a dark and gloomy night, the lights of our old haunts can look very inviting. It is easy to get caught up in the memories of the good times we had. I would party until the wee hours of the morning. Drinking with friends, the camaraderie seemed so wonderful. It was my fantasies come true. But that was exactly the problem; it was fantasy and not reality. The night would end, and there was always the morning after. My wallet would be empty, and my head would be too full. Most of us have never seen the tavern the morning after with the smell of stale beer and cigarettes. There are a few of us who would frequent these establishments early in the day to stop the shakes in the morning.
When I was actively drinking and using drugs, I never thought about the next morning. I only focused on the night of partying ahead. I never thought about the consequences that might be awaiting me. This is what I must think about now. I must teach myself to think about the long view. When the lights of the tavern or the lights of my old using friends’ houses seem to shine brightly, I must think about the morning after. I can’t afford to think about the glitz and glamour of the fantasy life. I need to stay in reality - the reality that I can’t drink or use. Have I stopped the “magical thinking” about the fantasy life?
Meditations for the Heart
One of the questions I used to ask myself a lot was, “Why me?” I didn’t understand why I couldn’t drink and use like other people. I couldn’t understand why I kept putting others and myself at risk. I couldn’t understand why I was different. As I began my recovery, I continued to ask myself this question, “Why me?” Then one day things changed for me. Rather than asking, “Why me, why can’t I be like other people?” I began to ask, “Why me, why have I been given this opportunity for recovery?” Many addicts and alcoholics die of their disease. Why have I been selected to have another chance at life? My outlook changed as the question changed. I don’t have the answer, but I believe that God must have a plan for me. God wants me to be useful for His purpose. Am I willing to believe that there is a purpose for me in recovery?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Sometimes I still wonder and even question where You are leading me. Help me to trust and have faith that Your plans for me are good. Keep me willing to follow where You lead. Help me to keep a long-term view of drinking and drugging so that I don’t ever forget the morning after.
Amen.
-----
NA Just For Today
Amends Without Expectations
"Projections about actually making amends can be a major obstacle both in making the list and in becoming willing." Basic Text p.38
The Eighth Step asks us to become willing to make amends to all persons we have harmed. As we approach this step, we may wonder what the outcome of our amends will be. Will we be forgiven? Relieved of any lingering guilt? Or will we be tarred and feathered by the persons we've harmed?
Our tendency to seek forgiveness must be surrendered if we expect to receive the spiritual benefits of the Eighth and Ninth Steps. If we approach these steps expecting anything, we're likely to be very disappointed with the results. We want to ask ourselves if we are pinning our hopes on gaining the forgiveness of the person to whom we are making amends. Or maybe we're hoping we'll be excused from our debts by some sympathetic creditor moved to tears by our hard-luck story.
We need to be willing to make our amends regardless of the outcome. We can plan the amends, but we can't plan the results. Although we may not be granted a full pardon by everyone to whom we owe amends, we will learn to forgive ourselves. In the process, we will find that we no longer have to carry the burdens of the past.
Just for today: I will let go of any expectations I have on the people to whom I owe amends.
pg. 292
-----
October 6 - Daily Feast
Living is a little like a wedding - to make a deal takes only a minute, but to live with it may take a lifetime. Many have not learned that life is not a quick trip down the isle and if you don't find it to your liking you can start all over again. A good marriage is one of adjustments and then readjustment. It is sharing the hardships and the growing and sweetening that are in the middle of hardships. Little can compare with faith and looking out for others. It is giving and receiving, and we know it is not something outside ourselves that makes life worthwhile but what we have in our hearts.
~ I will keep my word until the stones melt. ~
DELSHAY - APACHE
'A Cherokee Feast of Days, Volume II' by Joyce Sequichie Hifler
*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*
Elder's Meditation of the Day - October 6
"Lots of people hardly ever feel real soil under their feet, see plants grow except in flower pots, or get fare enough beyond the street light to catch the enchantment of a night sky studded with stars. When people live far from scenes of the Great Spirit's making, it's easy for them to forget His laws."
--Tatanga Mani (Walking Buffalo), STONEY
Nature is life's greatest teacher. The natural laws are hidden in nature. Hidden are solutions to everyday problems such as conflict resolution, how to forgive, lessons about differences, how to manage organizations, how to think. Hidden are feelings. You can look at something and you will feel it. At night, have you ever looked at the sky when there are no clouds? As you look at all the stars, your heart will become very joyful. You will walk away feeling joyful and peaceful. We need to visit nature so we can see and feel these things.
My Creator, let me learn nature's lessons.
*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*
"THINK on THESE THINGS"
by Joyce Sequichie Hifler
Why is it that the things we love so much can cause us so much pain, and perhaps without realizing it? Why is it that we find so much to worry about in all the "what ifs" that cross our minds with such persistence? What makes fatigue follow us through the hours and drain away precious strength that we need to help us in our daily routine?
All the things that plague us daily have one common cause-fear. To some, fear is a constant companion. We may call it by many other names such as necessity, time, busyness, demands, but all of these can be forms of fear.
Fear produces the most mental, physical, and spiritual fatigue that has ever overtaken humans. It rushes us so that we have accidents. It drains us of strength to resist illness. It tells us we cannot produce enough to meet the demands upon us. And it builds within our minds such dire images so that we cannot face the simplest.
Fear has one antidote. It is not to stop worrying and take it easy, but it is faith. Adverse conditions cannot break us in the face of faith. Faith allows us to look fear in the eyes with such confidence that it loses its power over us.
English divine, Fredrick William Robertson, wrote, "To believe is strong. Doubt cramps energy. Belief is power."
-----
Daily Relationship Reading
If my SO has "wronged" me somehow in the past, I may have said I forgave them, or tried to, but am still feeling anger or hurt whenever I think about what they did.
What is it that makes some mistakes harder to forgive than others? Maybe it’s how I interpreted their motives. Maybe I thought their "mistake" showed a lack of caring or love for me.
But is it my SO’s mistake, or my interpretation of it that keeps me trapped in my struggles to forgive? Perhaps I find it hard to accept that their "mistakes" are simply part of being human, even the big mistakes. If I look at my own experiences, I can probably see many times when I made a choice I later regretted, even though it seemed like the right one for me at the time I made it. When I use my hindsight, I often discover my mistake happened because I missed seeing something, or believed something that I found out later wasn’t true. Or maybe my mind was clouded with emotions or thoughts that made thinking difficult.
Maybe my partner’s mistakes happened for the same kinds of reasons. Perhaps the problem wasn’t that they didn’t care enough about me, but simply that they were unable to clearly see what effects their choice would eventually have.
Just for Today
Today, I’ll try to change the way I look at my partner’s mistakes. There were definite reasons why they didn’t see the benefits of making a different and better choice, even if I don’t know what those reasons are.
Forgiving is not forgetting. It's simply remembering in a different way. - anonymous
-----
You are reading from the book Food for Thought.
Staying with God
God never forsakes us; we forsake Him. We become so involved in our concerns and activities that we forget to open our eyes and our hearts to His presence. We may be physically abstinent, but still allow food to have the most important place in our lives. If our Higher Power is not at the center of our lives, we will find it difficult (if not impossible) to be emotionally abstinent.
Emotional binges occur when we wander away from our Higher Power into self-centered preoccupation. Without His control, we lose our serenity. There will always be cause of conflict and frustration in our daily lives. How we handle these situations depends on our spiritual condition.
By ourselves, we cannot manage our own lives. Our behavior can be insane. It is through the Power greater than ourselves that we are led into order, sanity, and recovery. To stay with this Power is our salvation.
May we not forsake You.
-----
You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
What we do upon some great occasion will probably depend on what we already are: and what we already are will be the result of previous years of self-discipline. --H. P. Viddon
In the ninth inning of the baseball game with a tie score and the bases loaded, the batter hit a home run. The fans and the team cheered wildly, and the batter was jubilant.
What many fans did not know was that he had been playing on baseball teams for fifteen years. Many times he struggled without being noticed. He wondered if he was any good or not, and there were days he had to make himself go out and practice. He made many mistakes, but his love and dedication for the game had always won out.
It is the years of discipline that prepare us for our big moments in life. Daily practice and love give our lives a direction, even through times of doubt and despair. By doing our best each day and learning from our mistakes, we prepare ourselves for the big moments--the home runs--in our lives.
How are my mistakes and pains today a part of my future success?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Forgiveness is another word for letting go. --Matthew Fox
Learning forgiveness - both granting it to others and accepting it for ourselves - is one of the primary means of a man's spiritual recovery. Many of us, after entering this program, are plagued with strong feelings of guilt. We have finally become accountable, and we see our lives in a new perspective. We long for a chance to undo our mistakes. Many men carry guilt for years as if they deserved to be punished. Our recovery program tells us to let go.
Simply going through the motions of forgiving or accepting forgiveness will not get us very far. We must squarely face our feelings and tell someone so we are no longer alone with our guilt. Then, if there is the possibility for repair without further hurt, we must make repair. In this concrete way we can be genuinely forgiven and fully accept forgiveness. When a man has a spiritual experience like this, he matures and gains the ability to forgive others.
I am grateful for the relief of being forgiven and letting go of past mistakes. I will genuinely let go of my guilt and resentment.
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Many people are living in an emotional jail without recognizing it. --Virginia Satir
Each of us is blessed with an internal guide, a source able to direct our actions if we but acknowledge it. Never are we in doubt for long about what path to take. The courage to take it might not be immediately forthcoming; however, it, too, is one of the gifts with which we've been blessed. Courage is ours for the asking. Right direction is ours for the taking.
Trusting our inner selves takes practice, followed by attention to the results of our risks. Before recovery, many of us passively waited for others to orchestrate our behavior, our feelings, and our attitudes. Stepping forward as the leading lady, with our own script in hand is quite a change, but one we are being coached, daily, to make.
The Steps help us to know who we are. More importantly, they help us become the women we long to be. But most important, they offer us the spiritual strength to risk listening to the message within and the strength to go forth as directed.
Right results, again and again, are elicited by right action. And my knowledge of the right action is always, and forever, as close as myself.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Taking Care of Ourselves
It's healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That's different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel resentful and victimized - because ultimately, what we feel, want, and need will come to the surface.
Some people seem to invite emotional caretaking. We can learn to refuse the invitation. We can be concerned; we can be loving, when possible; but we can place value on our own needs and feelings too. Part of recovery means learning to pay attention to, and place importance on, what we feel, want, and need, because we begin to see that there are clear, predictable, and usually undesirable consequences when we don't.
Be patient and gentle with yourself as you learn to do this. Be understanding with yourself when you slip back into the old behavior of emotional caretaking and self-neglect.
But stop the cycle today. We do not have to feel responsible for others. We do not have to feel guilty about not feeling responsible for others. We can even learn to let ourselves feel good about taking responsibility for our needs and feelings.
Today, I will evaluate whether I've slipped into my old behavior of taking responsibility for another's feelings and needs, while neglecting my own. I will own my power, right, and responsibility to place value on myself.
Today I am doing everything that I can to totally accept me as I am. Today I am doing everything that I can to totally accept you as you are. I am free to have an honest relationship with me and you today. --Ruth Fishel
God help me to stay sober and clean today!