EFFing hell

[tonyb]

I have just come back home to france from treatment, primary and secondary in S.Africa this doing life on lifes terms is no easy feat, when I was in treatment and that environment it all sounded do-able, if I had chosen to I could have gone and scored easily, I could have gone for a drink easily but I did not want to.I dont want to now but life is still here, Ive changed but nothing else has.I didnt expect life to be a bed of roses its not like that but it seems an anti climax somehow, this is coming from aperson who is a firm believer in the 12 step program.I have no desire to go back to where I was , I dont suppose its helping that I'm staying with me parents at the moment who live in the middle of nowhere till I find work.Writing this has reminded me that I have so much to be grateful for, being sober and clean, my parents letting me stay,the uncle who paid for my treatment without which I would be dead, so if it sounds like I'm sounding off I am, who else would I talk to other than fellow addicts.Thank you for being there:confused:

[CD BUCKBERRY]

tonyb,Just do what you are doing,it will work.It is a long road to getting clean.I used for 38 years.When I stopped I was at the end of the road.Just try for your own self.

[zoomie]

It's wonderful that you can be greatful! I think being greatful is what keeps us sober the most. Keep up the good work and remember the promises.

[yukonm]

When I first got sober, I complained and moaned about all the stuff that was going on in my life until I realized that I was finally PARTICIPATING in life. The things I faced were things that 'normal' people faced everyday. I was so used to running away or ignoring issues, that having to actually work through simple stuff was foreign to me. I eventually realized I should be grateful that I was sober and could actually face life on lifes terms. Even today, I sometimes have to remind myself that---"That's life". God never said it would be easy, he just promises it is worth it.

[letgo]

Hi Tony, Just Keep it in the day and don't pick up the first drink or drug. What support have you got? Can you get to meetings? Keep Coming Back here and posting - you are not alone.

[Rich75]

Hello Tonyb and Welcome. :74: When I first got out of rehab I was scared to go back to work. I worked in a neighborhood that had every liquor store and drug dealer waiting for me to step right up. I felt that if only they would all go away I could have a chance to stay sober. I spoke to my sponser and made meetings and even took a couple of days off before I had enough guidance and inner belief in my HP and in me that I would be able to do the right thing. For example: I carried around and used my 24 hour book, I also had a meeting listing of the area so that if I had to jump into a meeting I could, and then I had plenty of quarters for the phone calls to make. ( at that time.) The beautiful thing about all of this was that like you I saw how I could be grateful. Meaning when I saw a drunk walking into a liquor store I would say " But for the grace of God there go I" and I would remember the bad and ugly of it all. The times I said no more or the times I got sick or the times I wanted to kill myself, and yes I found gratitude as well because of the grace of God I wasn't drinking one day at a time. Thanks.:42:

[tonyb]

Thank you one and all, I'm in a remote place at the moment and meetings are just not possible, I will be moving in the near future so I will be back in the rooms.Its wonderful to get your replies its why the fellowship works, today will be a good day and I'm happy I found this forum.I am fortunate that my sponsor in S.Africa has told me to keep in touch and emails me every day. In fact he is on my case about sending him my stepwork.Go well and be happy:42:

[admin]

Hi Tony, :17: Glad to have you join us here. We do have online meetings here everyday at 9:30pm EST http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/chat_mainpage.php . There are more meetings here http://www.stepchat.com/ . Please feel free to also continue to share with us on the board here. There is usually someone around all the time. :42: