When it all gets too much / Slipped again

[arthur.g]

When it all gets too much and you want to say F**k it and get wasted cant get to a meeting cant get anyone on the phone can you give me some positive thoughts I know what I am gratefull for but at times even that doesnt matter. Help!!!!!

[annalittlebit]

:42:

[alcoholrehabcoach]

When it all gets too much and you want to say F**k it and get wasted cant get to a meeting cant get anyone on the phone can you give me some positive thoughts I know what I am gratefull for but at times even that doesnt matter. Help!!!!!

Arthur,

First, I want you to think about something good, because I'm about to ask you about some things that are bad.

So think of one good thing that you know in your heart to be true, and just for a moment, fully associate to that one good feeling. While you're at it, go ahead and smile just for practice...:mrgreen:

Now over the next couple of messages, if you can remember that one good feeling, then I'll give you some personal, sure-fire tips to help you when you are feeling down.

So to begin, tell me about one good thing in your life, and how does that make you feel?


Mike

[annalittlebit]

I have many good things in my life but the first thing that popped into my mind is that I am Cancer Free----That was not so in my recent past-----I am Eternally Grateful!!!!!!

[Craig A.]

First you can pray, pick up the phone, do some reading, talk with someone close and always remember where that drug/drink has lead you, we may be powerless over alcohol/drugs but we're not hopeless! This is a program of action not a program of thinking or feeling, I say this cause I remember that when I have those times, my sponsor told me just because I sobered up doesn't mean that everything was going to go my way but that i am free of drugs/alcohol and life will throw obsticles in my path. Today I can have bad moments/times and be grateful for them cause I don't have to pick-up because of it. This tells me you are living life and accepting life in the hard times. There is nothing that a drink/drug can solve it can only make the problem worse. Hope this helps, take care and God Bless!!!

[arthur.g]

Arthur,

First, I want you to think about something good, because I'm about to ask you about some things that are bad.

So think of one good thing that you know in your heart to be true, and just for a moment, fully associate to that one good feeling. While you're at it, go ahead and smile just for practice...:mrgreen:

Now over the next couple of messages, if you can remember that one good feeling, then I'll give you some personal, sure-fire tips to help you when you are feeling down.

So to begin, tell me about one good thing in your life, and how does that make you feel?


Mike

Today and for the last 8 years the one greatest most beautiful thing in my life is my daughter I am fighting for me and her
God Bless Arthur

[alcoholrehabcoach]

Arthur,

...First, I want you to think about something good, because I'm about to ask you about some things that are bad.



...the one greatest most beautiful thing in my life is my daughter.


Outstanding.

Now let's look a little closer.

I totally agree and feel for you when you say that sometimes even knowing what you are grateful for doesn't help. That's because at those times there is something that you deeply want or need that you are not fully aware of yet. And no, it's not a drink you really want, it's a particular feeling that drinking gives you.

Do you see how that makes sense?

Now I know this is tough Arthur, but sticking with me on this will give you some powerful ammunition when fighting for yourself and for your daughter. I'll be right here with you to help you figure this out.

Next, describe in detail, two different examples of times when "it all gets too much" and then I will help you see some deeply ingrained patterns that are contributing to the problem.



Mike

[arthur.g]

I have built up a huge resentment against my partners(who has left me at this moment) ex the way he treats her and his kids this caused a lot of friction with my and my partner.

When I am on my own I get very lonely and down and my mind runs riot.
I had a slip a couple of weeks ago and I have let myself and my family down one slip and my partner took some verbal abuse from me on the phone she didnt deserve it but said she has had enough that is really hurting.

[annalittlebit]

:42:

[alcoholrehabcoach]

I have built up a huge resentment against my partners(who has left me at this moment) ex the way he treats her and his kids this caused a lot of friction with my and my partner.

When I am on my own I get very lonely and down and my mind runs riot.
I had a slip a couple of weeks ago and I have let myself and my family down one slip and my partner took some verbal abuse from me on the phone she didnt deserve it but said she has had enough that is really hurting.


What I am hearing you say is that the times when "it all gets to be too much" are:

1) When you have huge feelings of resentment building up
2) When you don't like the way you are treating your partner and your kids
3) The feelings you get when you are alone
4) When your mind runs riot
5) When you have feelings of hurt and loss
6) When you feel out of control

Is that accurate, am I hearing you correctly, or is there anything else you want to add before we go any further?


Mike
Try the 7 Day Sobriety Challenge (http://www.highsteadalcoholtreatment.com/day-1-the-7-steps-to-improve/)

[arthur.g]

What I am hearing you say is that the times when "it all gets to be too much" are:

1) When you have huge feelings of resentment building up
2) When you don't like the way you are treating your partner and your kids
3) The feelings you get when you are alone
4) When your mind runs riot
5) When you have feelings of hurt and loss
6) When you feel out of control

Is that accurate, am I hearing you correctly, or is there anything else you want to add before we go any further?


Mike
Try the 7 Day Sobriety Challenge (http://www.highsteadalcoholtreatment.com/day-1-the-7-steps-to-improve/)

And also when I hurt the ones I love, my partner has been my rock for 5yrs now ans stuck by me always atteneding the treatment centre I was in for meetings and to visit I hate it when I let her down hurt her and give her verbal abuse I dont understand that.
2 above Is the way my partners ex treats them.

[alcoholrehabcoach]

Okay. Thanks for clearing that up. Now you've got a bunch of solid references here. So my next question is, do you see any patterns or similarities in those things? What do they all have in common?

[arthur.g]

Okay. Thanks for clearing that up. Now you've got a bunch of solid references here. So my next question is, do you see any patterns or similarities in those things? What do they all have in common?


Needing to love and be loved to deal with hurt and anger.
Fear of lonliness and loosing the 2 most important people in my life.

[alcoholrehabcoach]

Needing to love and be loved to deal with hurt and anger.
Fear of loneliness and losing the 2 most important people in my life.

Good. Now let's see if we can tie these threads together..

Is it possible that your need for love to deal with your hurt and anger, and your fear of losing love, are somehow contributing to the way you feel "when it all gets to be too much"?

Do you see any connection there, or when you think about these things, what is the first thing that comes to mind that might be triggering your unwanted feelings?

[arthur.g]

Good. Now let's see if we can tie these threads together..

Is it possible that your need for love to deal with your hurt and anger, and your fear of losing love, are somehow contributing to the way you feel "when it all gets to be too much"?

Do you see any connection there, or when you think about these things, what is the first thing that comes to mind that might be triggering your unwanted feelings?

I do see a connection, first thing that I feel is nervousness and fear.

[alcoholrehabcoach]

I do see a connection, first thing that I feel is nervousness and fear.

Okay I'm making note of that and we'll come back to those feelings in minute.

Before we do, I know you have heard me say before that we have to focus on what we DO want, not on what we DON'T want.

So if you don't want feelings of nervousness and fear, then what do you want to feel instead?

[arthur.g]

Okay I'm making note of that and we'll come back to those feelings in minute.

Before we do, I know you have heard me say before that we have to focus on what we DO want, not on what we DON'T want.

So if you don't want feelings of nervousness and fear, then what do you want to feel instead?

Calmness, serenety, and happiness.

[alcoholrehabcoach]

Calmness, serenety, and happiness.

Great!

Now where this conversation started, was that you expressed concern about your occasional thoughts to say "F**K it and just get wasted."

So tell me why you must now change that disempowering emotional pattern. What are your top 10 reasons for why you must now start developing your feelings of calmness, serenity and happiness?

[arthur.g]

F***ed up again why do I keep doing this I know I shoudnt but before I know it am sitting with a bottle at my mouth is it something deep rooted or am I just a failure?

[annalittlebit]

Oh Arthur--Just keep coming back--You are in no way a failure--We're all behind you 100%--HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!

[francie21805]

I'm so thankful you were able to make it back! I am watching two people, I love dearly, dying from this disease... I can't even talk about it... Please... grab hold as hard as you can, follow the directions from those who have gone before us. You are loved!
:195:

[DaveH]

Arthur,
Being an alcoholic no more equates to making you a failure than any other disease would make someone else a failure. When I finally began working the program I did in fact discover a bunch of deep rooted stuff. Bill W writes that drinking is but a symptom of our disease and my experience confirmed that. My slips did not cease until I got a sponsor. And he would not be my sponsor until he was convinced that I was willing to go to any lengths to stay sober, ie.working the program. I'm glad your back friend. I had to experience some slips before my miracle started too. Be encouraged!!! I'm am sure God has something special planned for you.
Regards,
Dave H

[snugsnug]

Hey arthur, i don't have any mircles up my sleve, although you are one. you see when God created us He already knew how we would turn out. He uses these episodes of weakness to strengthen us. it is with His help we can begin our healing. whether you go to aa, or na or anyother 12 step program, surrender is the key. surrendering to God.
be blessed my brother, it's not how many times we fall, it's getting up that last time that counts. make today the last time.
sterling

[yukonm]

I'm grateful that God granted you the opportunity to come back. I will keep you in my prayers and remember we are here for you.

[letgo]

You're not a failure even though you feel like one. A new day - 24 hours can start at any time. Are you able to get to a meeting tonight or tomorrow? Please keep Coming Back!

[alcoholrehabcoach]

Arthur,

If you like, you can send an email to mike_highstead@yahoo.com, and I will help you assess your options.

Or, you can give me a call, and I will personally help you figure out a way to permanently solve your drinking problem, in a way that works for you, using whatever program or method that you like.

My direct number is (720) 222-1333, and the best time to call is between 1:00 pm and 5:00 pm Mountain Standard Time. Even then, I am very busy so you will probably get my voicemail, but go ahead and leave your number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.


Mike

[paulm]

there are many days I feel like a failure Arthur, With or without picking up a drink. The disease likes when we beat ourselves up. I know that relapse happens, I know that this program can work if we work it. I sometimes don't want to and for that I have the choice to make every day, use or not use, it's 50/50 on what way it's going to go. With the help of people who care and some willingness on my part I can make the choice that leads to a sober 24 hours. and as pointed out already, we reserve the right to start out day over anytime we want. Surrender is the key. it's written "all we have is a daily reprieve, contigent upon our spiritual condition", start over, and believe that we believe, get over the fact that you F***ed up. you did what we do best, recovery is work using is easy. wishing you a blessed rest of today

[CD BUCKBERRY]

arthur g .You have done the most important thing,you are trying again,admitting you need to be back in the rooms of A.A.Just Keep Coming Back,Easy Does It,First things First.

[admin]

Arthur, I relapsed so many times in the beginning that I gave up hope that any human power could help me. There was only one who could help me and that one was God. Each time I relapsed, I picked my butt up, brushed myself off and kept coming back. See for me there was no hope outside the doors of AA. Inside AA is were I found hope that I can't, He can and I will let Him by surrendering all to God as I understand Him.

So pick your butt up, brush it off and start again. We are here for you always and will never give up on you my friend. :42: Praying for you. :195:

[McDaniel N.]

YOU Coming back is important too me.Just shows me what this disease is waiting.
I`ve learned on my 1yr.The chairman gave me my 1 yr coin and 2 days later O.D.DIED.He has been in and out of THE PROGRAM. This disease took him.I still have that coin.All the rest of the coins I gave away.I Have not had that thought YET,If all the lies this disease tell me that I could go to the coin and remind me of what happen to this man: Father,fellow member,,and good FRIEND.If THIS EXPERIENCE helps you or someone.Please Call someone before that first drink,and no one answer start over again till you get someone.This disease totally cause His family total confusion.This is what this disease wants total confusion.WORK THIS PROGRAM PLEASE!!!!!!

[arthur.g]

I am only a couple of days sober again and still a bit edgy and nervous,but it is getting better with the help of this fellowship and my higher power he has given me an unexpected chance of getting my relationship with my partner back on track but first things first and I want to keep it simple.
Thanks to you all for your support.
may your god of your understanding bless you all:42:

[annalittlebit]

A couple of days is Good Arthur---I keep you in my Prayers Always---Remember--One At A Time---One Day---One Thought-----:42:

[yukonm]

:42:So happy to hear that your hope has been restored. We are here for you and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.:195:

[shydawg]

Glad you're here with Arthur .. remember we didnt become addicts & alcoholics overnight ..soo easy does it ..remember none of us are perfect here .ya know my mistakes offer me a chance to learn & grow . its a process . don't be so rough on yourself .ya know pick yourself up brush that sh!t off & now its time to get to work .do you go any meetings??? or have phone ###?? you know the basic...go to a mtg & reintroduce yourself..get active ..GLAD YOUR HERE MAN !!RECOVERY IS SOO WORTH IT ..YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!

[francie21805]

:smile: Wow! That's a lot of love, uhh? I never knew this kind of love before I surrendered, joined A.A., and tried to take and act on suggests that were made to me. Love: has a new/different meaning today! Thanks Arthur and You are Loved! :42:

[arthur.g]

Still going and starting work on step one again, I really want this but keep reminding myself to keep it simple and that I can only do this One Day At A Time.:195:

[alcoholrehabcoach]

Arthur,

A while ago you sent me an email, and in response I gave you two questions to answer before I helped you any further.

Would you like me to ask you those questions again here, or would you rather send me another email and we can talk about it in private?


Mike

[yukonm]

Arthur G. you are in my prayers. We all have to practice step one everyday. Keep up your spirits, we are here for you:42:

[alcoholrehabcoach]

Arthur,

Got your message. New email sent.

:1:

[arthur.g]

Got it and replied Thank You

[admin]

Thinking of you and praying. :195: :42:

[yukonm]

I continue to keep you in my prayers:195:

[arthur.g]

Thanks to everyone, reading this thread is really helping me thanks to Mike for his continued support. I am feeling good today and for the first time in a while positive but I dont want to take a ride on that pink cloud. Keeping it simple. I am an alcoholic and alcoholics cant drink, (is it that simple ?) :42:

[annalittlebit]

:61: Love Ya Arthur!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[arthur.g]

Feeling ok today but last night I stayed at my parents house with my daughter my partner stayed at home. She had some friends round for a drink so I went visiting, As the night went on I started getting nasty sms messages from her about my past, I do understand the effect I have had on her and that she has issues. She phoned this morning to say sorry I accepted and didnt make a scene, So the question is do I just leave it at that or broach the subject when I next see her?:21: Is it a case of live and let live.
Thanx

[alcoholrehabcoach]

Once upon a time there were two monks who had both made a vow of not talking to women. One day, the monks were out walking in the forest, when they came upon a wide stream. Beside the stream, a woman was crying because she could not get across.

"Please!" She wailed. "Please help me!"

The first monk immediately spoke up and said "What is the trouble you are having?"

The woman said "I am terrified of water! Would one of you please carry me across the stream?"

Again the first monk spoke up and said "No problem! Hop up on my back and I will carry you across!"

So away they all went across the stream. The first monk with the woman on his back, the second monk following behind with a puzzled look upon his face.

Once on the other said, the woman thanked the monk profusely, and then continued on her way.

Together, the two monks continued on their way as well. The first monk walking very peacefully. The second monk, feeling more confused than ever.

Two hours later, the second monk couldn't stand it any longer. So he finally looked at his friend and say "Hey! What were you doing back there, talking to that woman? What about our vows?"

The first monk turned to his friend and said "I only carried that woman for a moment, and then immediately let her go. You have been carrying her all this time."


Arthur,

Why carry on with the drama?

[arthur.g]

Thanx for that Mike, I just let it be and things are moving on nicely one day at a time.:42:

[paulm]

glad to see you've been doing well Arthur. I'm looking forward to another update from you and hoping it's good news. It isn't about the amount of time you have it's the quality. it's refreshing that you sound upbeat and positive. You never know who you are helping, so keep posting.

[arthur.g]

Hi all well still sober even though I havent been to any meetings lately but have been loggin on here.
Today for some reason I have been very relaxed even though I found out that brother wasnt clean from heroin (he said he was 5 months clean) He has said he doesnt want to either so I have to walk away.He has been stealing things from my parents and trying to blame me saying it must Arthur remember he is a drunk and I have been clean, So I sat my parents down and told them the truth about him, they told me they knew deep down he was lying and that it was him stealing and told me they were proud of me by the way I keep trying even when I slip I try and pick myself up quickly.
I will be keeping my distance from my brother (people places things) to keep me safe and I know that you cant help someone who doesnt want it.
I feel relaxed as I said and coped well with the day.

Peace and Love to all.:42:

[yukonm]

So glad to hear you are still sober. You will be in my thoughts and prayers:42:

[annalittlebit]

Sooooooo Glad you're doing well Arthur!!!!! You're always in my thoughts & Prayers!!!!

[letgo]

Glad to read you post today but hope you can get to a F2F meeting?
"Seven days without a meeting makes one weak"

[thereishope]

Oh arthur,
I am soooo very glad to hear you are doing very well.

[arthur.g]

Well a bit on edge at the moment reason being that part of my actions from the past comes back tomorrow, I am in Court on a charge of Police assualt while under the influence at the beginning of the year, but just got to face it head on and what ever with be,
Going to go and use the phone just now and maybe watch a movie before bed.
Take care all God bless.

[yukonm]

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.:195::195:

[thereishope]

Prayers will be with you my friend:195:

[admin]

Thinking of you and praying ((((Arthur)))). :42:

[francie21805]

:195:

[arthur.g]

Well case defered till 6th of January, Just have to keep it in the day all should be ok
Thanx for all th thoughts and prayers, You really are a great bunch.
May your God bless you all.XhugzX

[DaveH]

Arthur,
I had alot of consequences to face because of my past also. Strange as it might seem, facing them proved to be some of the most rewarding experiences I have had in my recovery. They allowed me to clean up my side of the street and honestly make amends. That freed me to move forward to a life that I had never imagined for myself. Some were difficult, no doubt about it, but none were impossible since I had asked God to be with me. Good luck my friend, you are in my prayers.
Regards,
Dave H

[annalittlebit]

You're Always In My Prayers Arthur!!!!!!!!!! :42:

[arthur.g]

Well I hope everyone had a good holiday period I got through it clean and sober and had a wonderful time with my 8yr old daughter :smile:
I am back in court on tuesday so trying to stay focused will Let everyone know how I get on.
Take care all :42:

[yukonm]

You will be in my prayers, Arthur :195:

[thereishope]

:42:

[annalittlebit]

Good Job Arthur!!!!!! I'm behind you All The Way!!!!!!!! :42:

[janbear]

thinking of you arthur

[arthur.g]

Just to let all my friends know I am still doing well, some trying times but have got through it. Take care all. xhugzx

KEEP ON KEEPING ON

[yukonm]

Glad to hear from you Arthur. I keep you in my prayers.

[annalittlebit]

:42::42:

[paulm]

excellent Arthur, glad to hear it. keep coming, keep posting.

[thereishope]

Arthur buddy....
Its so nice to hear from you and im very glad you are still doing well

[arthur.g]

sTRUGGLING AGAIN JUST OUT OF HOSPITAL TOOK A SEIZURE LAST WEEK WILL BE INTOUCH TOMORROW PLZ STAY HERE IT IS HORRIBLE OUT THERE ODAAT.
BLESS:21:

[annalittlebit]

Ohhhhh Arthur!!!!! Please Hang in there my friend!!!!!! :42: My Prayers Continue for you Always!!!!!!!!!! :195::195: You can do this!!!!!!!

[thereishope]

:195::42::195:

[yukonm]

Arthur, I have kept you in my prayers and will continue to do so. Just remember that we are here for you.
http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj204/dutchdragon1958/biddenwittekater.jpg

[McDaniel N.]

:195::195: :97: :94: :92: :150:

[arthur.g]

ty to all ll talk soon still bed riddin really with strong supervised prescibed meds will stay in touch.:195:

[thereishope]

Please do. Big hugs to you!!!!!!

[arthur.g]

Still sober friends but need time to clear my head and think straight before I tell you about my recent relapse,
ty friends for you patience help and lovely words of support
Take Care all

[William Alexander]

Hi, My Name is Bill, and my Anniversary Date is 01-25-1985

[zoomie]

HI Bill and welcome!