Trying to be patient

[nisijoey]

Hi everyone! It has been awhile since I have posted. I am the wife of an addict/alcoholic. He says he is quitting, but I have heard that before. He is a functional alcoholic/addict (pot is his drug of choice). He tells me that he realizes it is out of control, but then he will go back and smoke again after he was trying to quit. I have found a group for myself, but don't get to go often because we have a 4 year old and there isn't anywhere for him. I don't feel comfortable leaving him with my husband unless I am sure he hasn't gotten high. We will be moving across country around next summer after my daugther graduates. It will be easier because then I will have family nearby to help and he says it will be a fresh start for him because none of his friends will be there. He has found a new couple that we have been hanging out with and they don't do either, but then he goes back and puts himself in the situation where the temptation is. He thinks he can stop on his own and doesn't need to go to a program because he isn't like everyone else. After all, he goes to work every day. I am just trying to understand where he is coming from. I am the child of an alcoholic and made the decision not to go down that road, so it is hard for me to know where he is coming from.:confused::21:

[gettinfree]

Hi nisijoey...I feel your frustration. Go to your meetings whenever you can. Maybe someone may have a son or daughter that can stay with your 4 year old during the meeting, maybe in another part of the room. I've never been in any 12 step or other group where recovery is involved that if you make your needs known, they will be met. It's very important that you involve yourself with people who have had to walk through what your going through. My wife and I are just divorced due to her drinking...That isn't always the only option...Good Luck...Check back in...I'm new to alanon and don't have many answers, but I have ears, or at least eyes in this case...Your Friend in Recovery...Mike

[gettinfree]

ps there is a thread started by goodperson @ Newcomers Recovery Help/Support. Excellent info being shared...Check it out...Join in...M

[Rich75]

Hello nisijoey :74: Thank you for letting us in to a part of your life. I understand completely. I was your husband. I could stop at any time and I could control it only if I could ________ or if people would just_________ etc... This may sound harsh but Please try to work on yourself. He will find help if he and when he is ready to. There are some links here that may be able to help you. Either way please keep comming back and continue to share with us. Thanks.:42: