Self-Acceptance

[shydawg]

Self-acceptance
"When we accept ourselves, we can accept others into our lives, unconditionally probably for the first time."
IP No. 19, "Self-Acceptance"
From our earliest memories, many of us felt like we never belonged. No matter how big the gathering, we always felt apart from the crowd. We had a hard time "fitting in." Deep down, we believed that if we really let others get to know us, they would reject us. Perhaps our addiction began to germinate in this climate of self-centeredness.
Many of us hid the pain of our alienation with an attitude of defiance. In effect, we told the world, "You don't need me? Well, I don't need any of you, either. I've got my drugs and I can take care of myself!" The further our addiction progressed, the higher the walls we built around ourselves.
Those walls begin to fall when we start finding acceptance from other recovering addicts. With this acceptance from others, we begin to learn the important principle of self-acceptance. And when we start to accept ourselves, we can allow others to take part in our lives without fear of rejection.

Just for today: I am accepted in NA; I fit in. Today, it's safe to start letting others into my life.
pg. 41

Copyright © 2007,* NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[shydawg]

I posted this 'cus I really struggle with this sometimes ,some days everything is great & others not so well. I have a hard time accepting myself..as I am & thats just somebody of self worth..ya know, I can help someone else & give them all the advise in the world . but when it comes to helping myself well..sometimes I dont think that I dont count as much I know in my head thats not right .. but dont dont always feel it in my heart .. if that makes sense ..I've must have read the SELF -Acceptance IP #19 at least 25 times by now .like it says, I always seem to be my own worst critic..I know Im doing good but you know what .. just like the dope only wants you to remember the good times & not the all the bad sh!t you went thru . I seem to only harp on the negetive..I'm accomplishing things & doing good , doing service work & working on the steps . but after soo many freaking yrs of using my self worth & self esteem is shot ..I'm not sure at what pt am I gonaa feel "GOOD ENOUGH"??? I REALLY DO STRUGGLE WITH THIS!!!! this IP really does says it all ...

[shydawg]

Self-Acceptance

"The most effective means of achieving self-acceptance is through applying the Twelve Steps of recovery."
IP No. 19, "Self-Acceptance"
Most of us came to Narcotics Anonymous without much self-acceptance. We looked at the havoc we had wreaked in our active addiction, and we loathed ourselves. We had difficulty accepting our past and the self-image produced by it.
Self-acceptance comes more quickly when we first accept that we have a disease called addiction, because it's easier to accept ourselves as sick people than as bad people. And the easier it is to accept ourselves, the easier it becomes to accept responsibility for ourselves.
We achieve self-acceptance through the process of ongoing recovery. Working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous teaches us to accept ourselves and our lives. Spiritual principles like surrender, honesty, faith, and humility help relieve us of the burden of our past mistakes. Our attitude changes with the application of these principles in our daily lives. Self-acceptance grows as we grow in recovery.

Just for today: Self-acceptance is a process set in motion by the Twelve Steps. Today, I will trust the process, practice the steps, and learn to better accept myself.
pg. 120

JFT Daily Meditation is property of Narcotics Anonymous

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Learning To Love Ourselves
"What we want most is to feel good about ourselves."
Basic Text, p. 97

"We'll love you until you can learn to love yourself!" These words, heard so often in our meetings, promise a day we look forward to eagerly - the day when we'll know how to love ourselves.
Self-esteem, we all want this elusive quality as soon as we hear about it. Some of us seem to stumble upon it accidentally, while others embark on a course of action complete with affirmations made to our reflections in the mirror. But fix-it-yourself techniques and trendy psychological cures can only take us so far.
There are some definite, practical steps we can take to show love for ourselves, whether we "feel" that love or not. We can take care of our personal responsibilities. We can do nice things for ourselves, as we would for a lover or a friend. We can start paying attention to our own needs. We can even pay attention to the qualities that we cherish in our friends - qualities like intelligence and humor - and look for those same qualities in ourselves. We're sure to find that we really are lovable people, and once we do that, we're well on our way.

Just for today: I will do something today that helps me recognize and feel love for myself.
pg. 70

JFT Daily Meditations is property of Narcotics Anonymous

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"Insides Outsides"
"Our real value is in being ourselves."
Basic Text p. 101

As we work the steps, we're bound to discover some basic truths about ourselves. The process of uncovering our secrets, exposing them, and searching our characters reveals our true nature. As we become acquainted with ourselves, we'll need to make a decision to be just who we are.
We may want to take a look at what we present to our fellow addicts and the world and see if it matches up with what we've discovered inside. Do we pretend that nothing bothers us when, in truth, we're very sensitive? Do we cover our insecurities with obnoxious jokes, or do we share our fears with someone? Do we dress like a teenager when we're approaching forty and are basically conservative?
We may want to take another look at those things which we thought "weren't us:" Maybe we've avoided NA activities because we "don't like crowds!" Or maybe we have a secret dream of changing careers but have put off taking action because our dream "wasn't really right" for us. As we attain a new understanding of ourselves, we'll want to adjust our behavior accordingly. We want to be genuine examples of who we are.

Just for today: I will check my outsides to make sure they match my insides. I will try to act on the growth I have experienced in recovery.
pg. 93

JFT Daily Meditation is property of Narcotics Anonymous

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People - Pleasing
"...approval-seeking behavior carried us further into our addiction..."
Basic Text p. 14

When others approve of what we do or say, we feel good; when they disapprove, we feel bad. Their opinions of us, and how those opinions make us feel, can have positive value. By making us feel good about steering a straight course, they encourage us to continue doing so. "People-pleasing" is something else entirely. We "people-please" when we do things, right or wrong, solely to gain another person's approval.
Low self-esteem can make us think we need someone else's approval to feel okay about ourselves. We do whatever we think it will take to make them tell us we're okay We feel good for awhile. Then we start hurting. In trying to please another person, we've diminished ourselves and our values. We realize that the approval of others will not fill the emptiness inside us.
The inner satisfaction we seek can be found in doing the right things for the right reasons. We break the people-pleasing cycle when we stop acting merely to gain others' approval and start acting on our Higher Power's will for us. When we do, we may be pleasantly surprised to find that the people who really count in our lives will approve all the more of our behavior. Most importantly, though, we will approve of ourselves.

Just for today: Higher Power, help me live in accordance with spiritual principles. Only then can I approve of myself.
pg. 107

JFT DAILY MEDITATION IS THE PROPERTY OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

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As We Understand
"We examined our lives and discovered who we really are. To be truly humble is to accept and honestly try to be ourselves."
Basic Text, p. 35

As using addicts, the demands of our disease determined our personality. We could be whoever or whatever we needed to be in order to get our "fix." We were survival machines, adapting easily to every circumstance of the using life.
Once we began our recovery, we entered a new and different life. Many of us had no idea what behavior was appropriate for us in any given situation. Some of us didn't know how to talk to people, how to dress, or how to behave in public. We couldn't be ourselves because we didn't know who we were anymore.
The Twelve Steps give us a simple method for finding out who we really are. We uncover our assets and our defects, the things we like about ourselves and the things we're not so thrilled about. Through the healing power of the Twelve Steps, we begin to understand that we are individuals, created to be who we are by the Higher Power of our understanding. The real healing begins when we understand that if our Higher Power created us this way, it must be okay to be who we really are.

Just for today: By working the steps I can experience the freedom to be myself, the person my Higher Power intended me to be.
pg. 154

JFT DAILY MEDITATIONS ARE THE PROPERTY OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

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Self-esteem
"Deep inside, I had feellngs of inadequacy and inferiority."
Basic Text, p. 112

Somewhere along the way, many of us developed strong feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Deep inside was a voice that continually cried out, "You're worthless!" Many of us learn to recognize this characteristic of low self-esteem very early in our recovery. Some of us may feel that our feelings of inferiority were where all our problems began.
Whether we learn this low self-esteem in our families or through our interactions with others, in NA we learn the tools for reclaiming ourselves. Building up our fractured self-esteem sometimes begins by simply accepting a service position. Or perhaps our phone begins to ring, and for the first time people are calling just to see how we are. They don't want anything from us but to reach out and help.
Next we get a sponsor, someone who teaches us that we are worthwhile and believes in us until we can believe in ourselves. Our sponsor guides us through the Twelve Steps where we learn who we really are, not who we have built ourselves up or down to be.
Low self-esteem doesn't go away overnight. Sometimes it takes years for us to really get in touch with ourselves. But with the help of other members of NA who share our same feelings, and by working the Twelve Steps, we blossom into individuals that others and, most importantly, we ourselves respect.

Just for today: I will remember that I am deserving of my Higher Power's love. I know that I am a worthy human being.
pg. 206

JFT DAILY MEDITATIONS ARE THE PROPERTY OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

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The Fourth Step - Fearing Our Feelings
"We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic."
Basic Text, p.29

A common complaint about the Fourth Step is that it makes us painfully conscious of our defects of character. We may be tempted to falter in our program of recovery. Through surrender and acceptance, we can find the resources we need to keep working the steps.
It's not the awareness of our defects that causes the most agony-it's the defects themselves. When we were using, all we felt was the drugs; we could ignore the suffering our defects were causing us. Now that the drugs are gone, we feel that pain. Refusing to acknowledge the source of our anguish doesn't make it go away; denial protects the pain and makes it stronger. The Twelve Steps help us deal with the misery caused by our defects by dealing directly with the defects themselves.
If we hurt from the pain of our defects, we can remind ourselves of the nightmare of addiction, a nightmare from which we've now awakened. We can recall the hope for release the Second Step gave us. We can again turn our will and our lives over, through the Third Step, to the care of the God of our understanding. Our Higher Power cares for us by giving us the help we need to work the rest of the Twelve Steps. We don't have to fear our feelings. Just for today, we can continue in our recovery.

Just for today: I won't be afraid of my feelings. With the help of my Higher Power, I'll continue in my recovery.
pg. 279

JFT DAILY MEDITATIONS ARE THE PROPERTY OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

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Being Ourselves
"Our real value is in being ourselves."
Basic Text, p.101

Over and over, we have tried to live up to the expectations of those around us. We may have been raised believing that we were okay if we earned good grades in school, cleaned our rooms, or dressed a certain way. Always wanting to belong and be loved, many of us spent a lot of time trying to fit in - yet we never quite seemed to measure up.
Now, in recovery, we are accepted as we are. Our real value to others is in being ourselves. As we work the steps, we learn to accept ourselves just as we are. Once this happens, we gain the freedom to become who we want to be.
We each have many good qualities we can share with others. Our experiences, honestly shared, help others find the level of identification they need to begin their recovery. We discover that we all have special gifts to offer those around us.

Just for today: My experience in recovery is the greatest gift I can give another addict. I will share myself honestly with others.
pg. 284

JFT DAILY MEDITATIONS ARE THE PROPERTY OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

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The Path To Self-Acceptance
"The most effective means of achieving self-acceptance is through applying the Twelve Steps of recovery."
IP No.19, "Self-Acceptance"

Our addiction has been a source of shame to many of us. We have hidden ourselves from others, sure that if anyone got to know who we really were they would reject us. NA helps us learn self-acceptance.
Many of us find a great deal of relief just from attending meetings, hearing fellow addicts share their stories, and discovering that others have felt the same way we feel about ourselves. When others share honestly with us who they are, we feel free to do the same. As we learn to tell others the truth about ourselves, we learn to accept ourselves.
Self-disclosure, however, is only the beginning. Once we've shared the things that make us uncomfortable with our lives, we need to find a different way to live - and that's where the steps come in. We develop a concept of a Higher Power. We inventory our lives, in detail, and discuss our inventory with our sponsor. We ask the God of our understanding to remove our character defects, the shortcomings that are the source of our troubles. We take responsibility for the things we've done and make amends for them. And we incorporate all these disciplines into our daily lives, "practicing these principles in all our affairs."
By working the steps, we can become people we are proud to be. We can freely tell the truth about ourselves, for we have nothing to hide.

Just for today: I will walk the path to self-acceptance. I will show up, tell the truth, and work the steps.
pg. 312

JFT DAILY MEDITATIONS ARE THE PROPERTY OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

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Understanding Humility
"Humility is a result of getting honest with ourselves."
Basic Text p. 35

Humility was an idea so foreign to most of us that we ignored it as long as we could. When we first saw the word "humbly" ahead in Step Seven, we may have figured it meant we had quite a bit of humiliation in store. Perhaps we chose to look it up in the dictionary, only to become even more confused by the definition. We didn't understand how "lowliness and subservience" applied to recovery.
To be humble does not mean we are the lowest form of life. On the contrary, becoming humble means we attain a realistic view of ourselves and where we fit in the world. We grow into a state of awareness founded on our acceptance of all aspects of ourselves. We neither deny our good qualities nor overemphasize our defects. We honestly accept who we are.
No one of us will ever attain a state of perfect humility. But we can certainly strive to honestly admit our faults, accept our assets, and rely on our Higher Power as a source of strength. Humility doesn't mean we have to crawl life's path on our hands and knees; it just means we must admit we cannot recover on our own. We need each other and, above all, we need the power of a loving God.

Just for today: To be humble, I will honestly accept all facets of myself, seeing my true place in the world. For the strength I need to fill that place, I will rely on the God of my understanding.
pg. 324

JFT DAILY MEDITATIONS ARE THE PROPERTY OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

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Not Perfect
"We are not going to be perfect. If we were perfect, we would not be human."
Basic Text p. 30

All of us had expectations about life in recovery. Some of us thought recovery would suddenly make us employable or able to do anything in the world we wanted to do. Or maybe we imagined perfect ease in our interactions with others. When we stop and think, we realize that we expected recovery would make us perfect. We didn't expect to continue making many mistakes. But we do. That's not the addict side of us showing through; that's being human.
In Narcotics Anonymous we strive for recovery, not perfection. The only promise we are given is freedom from active addiction. Perfection is not an attainable state for human beings; it's not a realistic goal. What we often seek in perfection is freedom from the discomfort of making mistakes. In return for that freedom from discomfort, we trade our curiosity, our flexibility, and the room to grow.
We can consider the trade: Do we want to live the rest of our lives in our well-defined little world, safe but perhaps stifled? Or do we wish to venture out into the unknown, take a risk, and reach for everything life has to offer?

Just for today: I want all that life has to offer me and all that recovery can provide. Today, I will take a risk, try something new, and grow.
pg. 331

JFT DAILY MEDITATIONS ARE THE PROPERTY OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

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Self-discovery
"The Tenth Step can help us correct our living problems and prevent their recurrence."
Basic Text p. 41

Our identities, how we think and feel, have been shaped by our experiences. Some of our experiences have made us better people; others have caused us shame or embarrassment; all of them have influenced who we are today. We can take advantage of the knowledge gained in examining our mistakes, using this wisdom to guide the decisions we'll make today.
Acceptance of ourselves means accepting all aspects of ourselves - our assets, our defects, our successes, and our failures. Shame and guilt left unaddressed can paralyze us, preventing us from moving forward in our lives. Some of the most meaningful amends we can make for the mistakes of our past are made simply by acting differently today. We strive for improvement and measure our success by comparing who we used to be with who we are now.
Being human, we will continue making mistakes; however, we need not make the same ones over and over again. By looking over our past and realizing that we have changed and grown, we'll find hope for the future. The best is yet to come.

Just for today: I will do the best I can with what I have today. Each day I'll learn something new that will help me tomorrow.
pg. 336

JFT DAILY MEDITATIONS ARE THE PROPERTY OF NARCOTIC ANONYMOUS

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Finding Fulfillment
"We weren't oriented toward fulfillment; we focused on the emptiness and worthlessness of it all."
Basic Text p. 86

There were probably hundreds of times in our active addiction when we wished we could become someone else. We may have wished we could trade places with someone who owned a nice car or had a larger home, a better job, a more attractive mate - anything but what we had. So severe was our despair that we could hardly imagine anyone being in worse shape than ourselves.
In recovery, we may find we are experiencing a different sort of envy. We may continue to compare our insides with others' outsides and feel as though we still don't have enough of anything. We may think everyone, from the newest member to the oldest old-timer, sounds better at meetings than we do. We may think that everyone else must be working a better program because they have a better car, a larger home, more money, and so on.
The recovery process experienced through our Twelve Steps will take us from an attitude of envy and low self-esteem to a place of spiritual fulfillment and deep appreciation for what we do have. We find that we would never willingly trade places with another, for what we have discovered within ourselves is priceless.

Just for today: There is much to be grateful for in my life. I will cherish the spiritual fulfillment I have found in recovery.
pg. 338

JFT DAILY MEDITATIONS ARE THE PROPERTY OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

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Being Ourselves
"To be truly humble is to accept and honestly try to be ourselves."
Basic Text pg. 35

Humility is a puzzling concept. We know a lot about humiliation, but humility is a new idea. It sounds suspiciously like groveling, bowing, and scraping. But that's not what humility is at all. True humility is, simply, acceptance of who we are.
By the time we reach a step that uses the word "humbly;" we have already started to put this principle into practice. The Fourth Step gives us an opportunity to examine who we really are, and the Fifth Step helps us accept that knowledge.
The practice of humility involves accepting our true nature, honestly being ourselves. We don't have to grovel or abase ourselves, nor must we try to appear smarter, wealthier, or happier than we really are. Humility simply means we drop all pretense and live as honestly as we can.

Just for today: I will allow knowledge of my true nature to guide my actions. Today, I will face the world as myself.
pg. 346

JFT DAILY MEDITATIONS ARE THE PROPERTY OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

[shydawg]

"Spiritual principles like surrender, honesty, faith, and humility help relieve us of the burden of our past mistakes. Our attitude changes with the application of these principles in our daily lives. Self-acceptance grows as we grow in recovery."

WOW!! that is so true .I was really struggling with this at the time I posted this . Today as I am growing in my recovery & working the steps my Attitude has changed as my gratitude has grown , the self acceptance I have for myself Has grown right along with it..took awhile but finnally starting to forgive myself for all the bullsh@t done in the past .. not a bad evil person doing bad things but a person with a disease.a sickness & today a person with a disease seeking his medecine getting better

[shydawg]

These are all the pages in our "JUST FOR TODAY" daily meditation book .listed in the back index under the "self acceptance" listing.