My world is gone from under me

[emily1981]

My name is Emily and yesterday morning I thought my world was fine. I have been with my husband since high school and he had use marijuana in the past but I thought he had grown up. I have a good job and he had an even better one. We have a 1 year old. We were comfortable even if the relationship was distant. I found out that he was smoking weed a year ago and told him that as he has responsibilities and random drug tests that if I ever caught him smoking again it was over. Yesterday he called me and told me that he was going into the office to be fired for failing a drug test for marijuana. When he came home he told me he had never not used marijuana in the entire time we have known one another. He said he was being honest finally and wanted to earn back my trust. I told him that I couldn't make any decisions yet. Today, he found out that he can probably get his job back if he goes to rehab. As he is talking to a representative from a nearby rehab facility it came out that he has been using cocaine and crystal meth off and on for the past two years. I'd fallen for his lies again. I was angry and left for about an hour to calm down. When I came back, he said he was lined up to go to rehab in the next state over in the evening. I questioned why he had to go so far away. He said he didn't know. When I am taking him to the airport, he tells me the rehab is actually in Florida. It's over 16 hours drive away from me. I saw the place online too. It's a palace. So here I sit; lost, hurt, angry, and with no answers to many questions. I need support and I don't know where to get it. Someone please help me.

[admin]

Hi Emily, Glad to have you join us here. I suggest Alanon for you. We have a section on the forum here for Family and Friends http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=71 . Check it out when you get a chance. You can also find online Alanon meetings here stepchat.com. Please feel free to come and share with us here. We are here for you. I will lift you all up in prayer. :42:

[soj77]

Oh Emily; many years ago I was in your shoes...baby and all...husband on meth/booze/whatever....he was going off to what looked like pampering spa! People wonder how you didn't know...but you don't. Alcoholics are great liars. To survive, I learned I had to live in the moment and do the next right thing. When my husband was a few years sober, I realized that I'd been trying so hard to hold things together that I had become chemically dependent myself. It has been a miracle journey. Lest you think my sacrifice was for a few years of sobriety, he now has 30 years...that baby graduated suma *** laude from a great medical school and is now a great mom herself. Was it awful? Absolutely. Was it worth it? You bet!

[kellygirl]

Hi Emily,

I can relate to how you are feeling. Our loved ones go far away to deal with their problems while we are stuck at home trying to pick up the pieces!!! Trust me, I have found that it is better for them to go out of the area... If your husband stays close by while in detox/recovery it would be too easy for him to walk out and give up.

Dont give up, but dont give in either... work on yourself. Attend Nar-Anon and Al-Anon meetings as often as you can... these meetings give me the strength I need to go one more day...

good luck to you!!!