introduction

[teachnlearn]

Oops-I think I introduced myself on the wrong page. Im Marsha an alcoholic and Im new to this message board. I have not used one before. Im not new to the fellowship but dont get to meetings much. This looks like a great site and Im excited to be here to meet people and look around-even though I will
probably make more mistakes. Oh well it didnt bother me when I was out there drinking-lol
Marsha

[admin]

:75: Marsha, :17: I am so very glad to have you join us here. Take a look around and make yourself at home. If you need help with anything just let us know. I look forward to getting to know you better. Please do keep coming back and sharing with us. :42:

Love,
Tammy

[zoomie]

Hi Marsha, I don't see any mistakes LOL. Welcome to cyberrecovery!
(((((((((((Huggys))))))))))

[clean42day]

Hi marsha...my sponsor says there are no mistakes, only opportunities for correction and lessons in growth.

from one mistake maker to another.......:45: :61:

light and love

gail

p.s if we can help with any questions feel free to ask?

[peajaye]

Hi Marsha, I'm PegJean from Atlanta GA. Welcome to cyberrecovery. I love this place.

[Prescott]

Hi Marsha, Welcome to our group and recovery family. Look forward to getting to know you. Keep coming back. My name is John alcoholic/ addict form Prescott AZ.

[Waking]

Waving HIYA :D

[janbear]

Hi Marsha, just wanted to welcome you to CyberRecovery. Please make yourself at home and keep coming back.:smile:

[Doraine]

:76: &:77: Marsha. I'm from northeast PA sober since 2/27/87 :92: :107: :72: Doraine

[b4angeleyes]

Hello everyone, I'm new to this but I know I need help and others to talk to I have had lower back problems,degenerative disk, buldging disk and arthritis, and been on pain meds for the past 5 & 1/2 to 6 years ( darvocet ) I'm not even sure I guess maybe about 2 years ago I crossed the line and the one pill every 4 to 6 hours got to be 2 pills every 4 to 6 hours. I am a Christian and I have ask the Lord to forgive me and I try to forgive myself I have told my husband and it is not that he doesn't care it is he don't know or understand what I am going through when I try to get off these things. I feel this is a first step for me opening up on here. I did get off them for a few months once before it was very hard and I am working on it again I just need to be able to have someone to talk to who knows what it is like. and I ask for your prayers. I never would have ever thought I would be where I am today. thank you all God Bless

[rooster]

:smile: :1: :45: :71: :170: :eek:

[Prescott]

Hi b4angeleyes, Welcome to our group! I fell from a roof and broke my back and neck. Pain pills became a way to get through the day, until they became a way to block out everything. Chronic pain changes us, and it's a very hard cycle to break. I haven't had a drink or pain pill in over 8 yrs thanx to recovery. I still have chronic pain but dael with it in different ways today. Keep coming back and thanx for sharing.

[Doraine]

:67: b4angeleyes. You're aware of the difference between using pain meds and abusing them. One day at a time, one hour at a time you can stop abusing. Before I got sober I abused rx drugs by mixing them with alcohol. I stopped using drugs before I stopped drinking and that was 19 years ago. You can do it too. You could go to NA online if you don't have a meeting in your area. The 12 steps work at freeing us of the obsession. You can pray to have the obsession removed. We can do together what you can't do alone.:72:

[Misselle]

Welcome Marsha and Angeleyes!

My husband has two herniated discs and a severe case of sciatica, so I have an idea of what your pain must be like - it is easy to get addicted when your pain is so great. Try not to be so hard on yourself.

[b4angeleyes]

God Bless each of you I know I abused the pain meds because it was a way to get away from problems as well as the pain. Thank you all so much. It is so wonderful to know others care. Will the craving the drugs ever go away ? that seems to be my biggest problem is wanting them. aside from withdrawl problems but from what I have read they are not as bad as some have to go through. thank you all again I am so thankful for this place.

[b4angeleyes]

Hello, John you said you fell and broke your back and neck I was wondering what are some things you do to deal with the pain ? with my back problems I also have the sciatica pains that shoot across the lower back and down both legs. I have a hard time even standing for more than a few min. with out being in alot of pain. I battle depression with all this ( and not on any antidepression meds for a long time ) I want to do things so it is hard to let go and know you just can not do things like you use to. I still have a pre teen son still at home and I am a first time Grandmother to a wonderful Granddaughter I guess they are my goals to get off this stuff because I would like to be around to see them grow as well as my health. Thanks again for any help and to everyone. God Bless.

[Prescott]

I battle depression with all this ( and not on any antidepression meds for a long time ) I want to do things so it is hard to let go and know you just can not do things like you use to.

Hi b4angeleyes, I used/abused alcohol and pain meds for many years before I found recovery. It was the first time in my life when I felt depressed and it had everything to do with being disabled. Today I take Motrin for pain I go to a chiropractor and have learned my limits. The funny thing about the pain pills
is that they never really killed the pain and they had me doing things that I shouldn't of been doing so my back never healed right. I went to a chronic pain clinic and spent time with people like myself and in time was able to see I was not alone in my battles with pain/depression. The surgery I had on my lower back wasn't very sucessful and I have pain everyday, but I have learned to live with it. If I had it to do all over again I would let my doctor know exactly what was going on and get professional help. This has become a very common problem and they have allot more experience with treatment today. I also wore a "TENS UNIT" for years... Electricial stimulation helps block the pain signal. I hope you can get some help, pain meds can really damage your body. Love and respect...John

[Doraine]

The cravings for pain meds will go away in time if you stopped using them. For me pain meds don't really work they just make me feel drugged. I have used them in recovery for dental pain but only as perscribed and then for the shortest time possible. My daughter got hooked on pain meds and it led her back to drinking. At least that's the way I see it. She just told me she'd stopped drinking again so we'll see.John gave you some excellent advise b4angeleyes.Remember you're not alone in this anymore. Just take it one day at a time.

[Aprilskyzz]

I abused pain meds for the past year after being clean for seven. I just recently detoxed for eight days and it was hell. I am continuing to experience effects of the abuse, but taking it one day at a time. I have to learn how to deal with the pain, not cover it up and kill myself taking meds.

[zoomie]

Welcome Aprilskyzz!!!

[Peggyannvt]

Welcome B4angeleyes and Marsha, :29:

:46:

I love the 12 steps. I hope you both will find the joy in working them.

LOVE
Peggyann

[b4angeleyes]

Thank each and everyone of you. John thank you for sharing I have never tried Motrin I have used Advil, Aleve, Extra Strength Tyenol, Tylenol Arthritis ( that makes me feel sick all day ) My Mother and Sister both have the same kind of back problems and both had surgery that didn't help them either and my Mother had the electric shock and that didn't help her. I guess it is a good thing I don't have health insurance so I can not go to other doctors I am looking into it NOT to run get more pills but for things like a chiropractor I have heard all good about chiropractors. I will have to work harder on letting go of the things I just can not do now. What is that saying about help me to accept the things I can not change and the wisdom to know the differents thanks again to everyone I hope this site stays up it has wonderful people I feel everythings happens for a reason I feel I found this place for a reason so thank you all again for being my angels God Bless

[Aprilskyzz]

Hi Marsha,

Just wanted to say welcome. Keep playing around in here like I am. I am also new and do not know how to navigate too well yet either lol. take care of yourself. April

[free2bunme]

A Warm Welcome to you both, Marsha and b4angeleyes! So glad you are here. This is a wonderful forum filled with caring and loving people. Looking forward to getting to know you both.

b4angeleyes -- I am so happy for you and proud of you for opening up. None of us "planned" to become addicted to pills or other substances. It happened gradually, over time -- often well before we realized fully the extent of our addiction. The good news is that the 12 steps has helped us, and millions like us, to overcome our addictions -- mainly by admitting that we have them -- getting them out in the open rather than continuing to hide them -- and then by admitting that we need God's help to overcome them, that we are helpless in the face of them...so we need to give our addicton to God or our Higher Power and ask for it to be removed. If it worked for me, it can work for you! I promise! I did not believe it when I was in your shoes. But I do now. Keep coming back!

[Prescott]

None of us "planned" to become addicted to pills or other substances. It happened gradually, over time -- often well before we realized fully the extent of our addiction. The good news is that the 12 steps has helped us, and millions like us, to overcome our addictions -- mainly by admitting that we have them -- getting them out in the open rather than continuing to hide them -- and then by admitting that we need God's help to overcome them, that we are helpless in the face of them...so we need to give our addicton to God or our Higher Power and ask for it to be removed. If it worked for me, it can work for you! I promise! I did not believe it when I was in your shoes. But I do now. Keep coming back!


well said Frannie!!!

[b4angeleyes]

Hello, yes thank you free2bunme for your words. I'm so thankful, I'm not alone God Bless

[janbear]

Hi Angeleyes, just wanted to welcome you here at CyberRecovery! I am glad to see you have already become so involved here. Yes, it is a wonderful feeling to know we are not alone anymore. My disease of addiction left me feeling very alone and scared and in recovery i found a new way to live through working the 12 steps and reaching out to others. :1: Keep coming back.:1:

[b4angeleyes]

Hello Janbear, thank you everyone has been so kind on here. although I opened up first to my husband he cares but it is not the same as it is to talk to others who know what your going through. I also have a son who will be 21 in a few days he has a problem with ( weed or pot ) whatever it is called and some drinking, the problem is he won't admit he has a problem I think some of that stems from when we had problems with him as a teen when we first found out he was using I have never used this so I new nothing about it and we were told by his probation officer it is not addictive like if you stop drinking or drugs your body will go through withdrawl but you wouldn't with pot but I thing in his mind thinks he has to have it so I do think it is addictive. This all happened before I had problems. I have talked to him in the past and I am going to try again. He has been in jail for things like DUI and drinking and driving he won't keep a job has stole from us. I will always love him he is my child I don't like things he does anyone have any ideals to reach him before it is to late ? Also I was wondering I would like to hear what others think do you think it is something in our family tree or just the way we are as a person that makes some people I hope I say this right makes some people easy to become addictied to things than others I have a brother who has problems with drinking that is what I'm wondering is it maybe something in our families. anyways thanks to all God Bless

[clean42day]

Hi Angeleyes....I didn't get a chance to welcome you b4, but I want to welcome you now.

I can only tell you my experience with drugs and family or origin stuff.

first of all pot and drinking were my gateway drugs. what I mean by that is:

I thought I was using them for fun....to be social, and to be like other kids. but I found myself becoming more and more dependent on them. not because the pot was just addictive. but because it became a way to escape feelings, reality, and avoid problems. it was not physically addicting as much as it became an emotional/mental crutch and a dysfunctional coping skill, that gave me a sense of relief every time I smoked it. I did not, or had not found a way to give myself that same relief (emotionally) in a natural way. so he may indeed think he needs it. mentally and emotionally once a person has found something that produces the desired result (relief) ....and you ask them to stop...if there is nothing to replace that (relief) there is a huge amount of fear involved in letting go of a coping skill.....no matter how bad it is for us.

I did indeed go through withdrawals with Pot. it relaxed me, slowed down my nervous system and my brain craved that kind of relaxation. When I quit it had the opposite effect. I was restless, irritable, and intensley on edge for about 3 weeks till I broke the cycle. with any drug the actual drug creates a feeling and the brain remembers those memory pathways to that feeling. after time and use those pathways become grooved and it is very difficult to get the brain to re-remember the old pathway or to re-grove a new one. (but not impossible)= (addiction class) without the drug the brain is still trying to use the same pathway, which creates intense cravings....the brain is trying to get the feeling through the same pathway. it has to be re-taught how to do it naturally without the chemical jumpstart.

As for familys having addictive traits.....there is research that says this is indeed true. expecially with alcoholism being generational. but the experts say that even though a person might have an addictive gene that predisposes them to addictive drug or alcohol use......it must be triggered with the chemical itself, some siblings never drink and don't crave it, and never have a problem. I myself fell in love with the first chemical i ever put into my body.

This is my experience with my own family and that of role-modeling too.

I am one of two addictive personalities in my family. I am in recovery and my brother is not. But I must say that many people pick different coping skills to deal with or avoid thier problems. although my older brother and sister are wildly successful by (western world values) They both compulsivley and obsessivley work themselves to death. They have forfieted life, marriage and children, and have physical/mental problems in favor of this work obsession. asking them to take time off, or to slow down, or to gain balance in thier life is like taking a bottle of alcohol away from an alcoholic, or asking a drug addict to give up thier drugs. this type of addictive behavior is "role modeled" as a solution and learned through behavior.

as with anything, if a person uses something "outside" of themselves to make them feel complete, whole and worthy or relaxed or euphoric long enough.....it becomes a false sense of dependence and a pattern of addiction. the dependency increases, progresses, become chronic and consequences follow. mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual.

both my brother and sister have just about everything they could ever want. but they have problems forming committed intimate romantic/emotional relationships. but they are fully commited to thier work as a drug addict is completly committed to thier drug. They are very unhappy on the inside but have everything they could want materially. This is just as obsessive and compulsive as I was.

This is the spiritual aspect of a life out of balance. When a person is not grounded spiritually in some form of a sense of a 'center' inside themselves....they seek external means as a replacement to feel OK with themselves and the world around them.

some people become addicted to relationships and other people
some to work
drugs
sex
gambling

you name it.

When they start to experience negative consequences to thier actions or addictive pattern or behavior and find they "cannot" stop on thier own.....it becomes an addiction.

i don't know if this information has helped you. I just hope it has given you some things to think about.

I am by no means an expert or professional.....I have just lived it, almost lost my life over it, been in counseling and therapy and recovery for over 25 years, in and out of rehabs, chemical dependency classes and have finally found the freedom that eluded me for so many years. 12 step recovery programs and behavioral modification is what worked for me.

wishing you and your son the best.

Light and love

Gail

p.s. I had to be taught how to love myself more than i loved my drugs.

[b4angeleyes]

Hello Gail ( clean42day ), Yes thank you for what your said. As I said I don't know anything about ( pot or weed or drinking for that matter ) I have had a wine cooler once in a long time but to me most drinks are bitter so I have never liked it. and I never used pot as a kid or at all. but I want to help my son. I have heard him say in the past it relaxed him and I have seen his hands are very shakey he don't live at home I know he drinks but I don't know how much. My problem I crossed the line I have alot of back problems and one pain pill every 4 to 6 hours got to be 2 at a time for pain then often it was to get away from problems. You said something about coping that hit home with me I think at first when I first crossed the line I am a very strong willed person and I think at first I think the pain was so bad it was a way to cope ( so I thought ) then it went to be a way to cope with other problems as well as the pain so your right. And your right it is the same with my family there are alot with drinking problems some can take it or leave it while others go to far with it. but my brother has a bad problem with it but he did not grow up around it my Mom and Dad never drank. so maybe his or ours goes back to just how we deal with things maybe I just don't know but it is a thought thanks again for sharing God Bless

[Peggyannvt]

:55:

"I will always love him he is my child I don't like things he does anyone have any ideals to reach him before it is to late ? "

Some times all we can do is work on our own recovery and pray for our loved ones.

"Also I was wondering I would like to hear what others think do you think it is something in our family tree "

I do believe that it is a family dis ease and can skip a generation. We can only teach what we know.

:58:

LOVE
Peggyann

[b4angeleyes]

Hello and thank you Peggyann, that is so true that was one of my first thoughts was I can not help him untill I deal with my own problems first. And I never stop praying for him. What is that saying in the Bible something about get the log out of your eye before you get the speck out of your brothers eye or something like that. Thanks again God Bless

[cassie]

A belated :77: Marsha and b4angeleyes.
I am cassie, grateful recovering alcoholic. It is good to see you both here - looking forward to getting to know you both better.

For me, recovery has lifted the obsession to drink. My Higher Power has given me strength to walk this road since September 2000. Many of my family members walked down the road of addiction and never made the decision to take the turn to recovery. I pray every day for the strength not to join them. Being able to come here and share the experience, strength and hope with others is an awesome blessing. One I hope you will continue to share with us. :42:

:188:
cassie

[b4angeleyes]

Thank you Cassie for the warm welcome and to all my new friends well I had a set back and used again. The back pain was so bad I gave in and used what I had left so now it is now or never I have nothing to fall back on. I have a notebook and started working the 12 steps doing the questions. I am on day 4 clean please pray for me the pain in the morning is the worse I have been taking Motrin IB sometimes Ibuprofen then at night I take Advil PM for the pain to sleep. I pray when I get up I know this is out of my control only the Lord can take this from me and I know I have to deal with the pain. The cravings have not been to bad I try to do things I enjoy doing and that seems to keep my mind off that. God Bless each of you for being here for me. From what I have been reading it can take something like 5 to 14 day to get out of the body so I now feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel thank you again I will keep posting how I am doing God Bless

[b4angeleyes]

Hello Coalminer, Thank you so very much for your welcome and prayers day 5 clean and I'm doing good. I hope in time I will be able to help others. This site has been a God send to me like I said once before for me it was a big help to know I'm not alone. May God Bless each and everyone on here.

[Nachise]

You're aware of the difference between using pain meds and abusing them.
Hi, b4angeleyes! Welcome!

Intellectually, I know the difference between using pain meds and abusing them. Once I use any, no matter what the reason, my body and my brain could care less about that distinction.

I hit my bottom on prescription narcotics and tranquilizers. When I had almost 15 years sober, I had to have shoulder surgery. I was told by my sponsor when I first got clean that I had to be up front and honest with my doctors about my addiction. I was also reminded that most doctors know how to deal with pain, but are clueless about the nature of addiction. I had to be their teacher.

The presurgical consult went okay. When I was asked about pain medication, I told them I was an addict; that we had to look at other alternatives to narcotics and to make to post-surgical transition from narcotics to an NSAID like ibuprofen as quickly as possible. It was MY responsibility to inform them.

All of that honesty and self-disclosure is good, but I needed more than that. You hear in the rooms that sometimes the only thing between you and the next drink or drug is the state of your spiritual condition. When your spiritual condition is good, you will rely more on the truth of your situation than the lies your addicted brain will tell you. I prayed constantly that once I was in surgery and pumped up full of drugs, that the truth of my situation would bear stronger witness than the lies of my addicted brain. I asked my friends to do the same for me.

I will not lie. When I was shot up with drugs by the anesthesiologist, my body and my brain were in familiar territory. It was as if they were asking the drugs, "Where you been so long, hon???", and following that up with, "When can we have some more????" I could remember my sponsor saying, "This is a freebie. That's all it is. Be responsible." I was shot up with more drugs when I came out of anesthesia, and then I had to negotiate how much more I was going to get in the recovery room. My mind was saying, "Take everything they offer you," and I had to pray to remind myself that I was an addict, and all that I needed was motive and opportunity to use. I was in absolutely no pain, and the nurse was giving me a paper cup with two percocet in it. I refused it. She called the doctor over, and the doctor adivised me I needed it. I told him I didn't, but he made me compromise, and I took one percocet, instead of two, for the ride home.

The experience made it abundantly clear to me that once I have narcotics in my body, NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON, I am not thinking with the brain of a recovering addict. I am thinking with the brain of an addict. I am going to be actively battling the addict that comes out---or not. That choice was entirely up to me, and by the grace of God, I was able to choose the truth over the lie. It really doesn't matter how much time a person has in recovery; what matters is that I have today, and the balance of my time on earth has to do with the choices I make today.

[flickchic]

:D Hello b4ngeleyes and welcome,:D sorry I haven't welcomed you prior to now.

Nachise, great to see you back on site.:29: ..I read re your connection probs, I pray that is all good now!!?:1:


The experience made it abundantly clear to me that once I have narcotics in my body, NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON, I am not thinking with the brain of a recovering addict. I am thinking with the brain of an addict. I am going to be actively battling the addict that comes out---or not. That choice was entirely up to me, and by the grace of God, I was able to choose the truth over the lie. It really doesn't matter how much time a person has in recovery; what matters is that I have today, and the balance of my time on earth has to do with the choices I make today.<!-- / message -->

I had major surgery a couple of months ago, had my right wrist re-constructed. I am a clean user for over 6 years and Nachise you're spot on the time factor didn't change the fact that I'm an addict!!!!.....I did discuss my concerns with my d&a counsellor and we came up with ideas on being mindful of my addiction and the possible outcomes of heavy pain relief....I am alergic to morph so had pethadine, after I came out of surgery, spent two days in hospital on pethadine injections and oral pain relief. Man I had a tough time when awake.....paranoia even had it's turn in my mind!!!.....yuckeeeeee, it's been so long without!!!! I ended up leaving a day earlier than I had to and came home with oral pain relief, I became the b***h I used to be for a bit and got myself a bit messed up using the pain relief....oh it was used with good cause, however I ended up ceasing that also as it was controlling my days, or lack there of more to the point....yep went through withdrawls, crap in the mind etc etc....had a lot of support from friends and counselor, mediator, yeah, took a bit of effort to get out of there again!!!!.....still have pain with the wrist, but......I soooooooooooo do not like what the meds do to me I leave them be!!! There is a possibility that I will have to return and have a plate put in my wrist for permanent disablement....if the pain factor does not lessen sufficiently over the next few months to enable me to get on with living at more of a norm level day to day......I will be even more armed when and if I go for surgery again!!!!....it will be another major op and yep pain relief will be essential.....so I will have to work on that when and if it comes up again....the idea of it is nearly enough to put me off surgery I'll give you the tip.....having come through that stage yet again; I KNOW it is not somewhere I want to be again.....it served as a very hard and harsh reminder!!!!!!.....created a lot of probs with my r/ship also. (temporarily however...NOT FUN!!!)

[Mist]

Welcome to Marsha and b4angeleyes, I'm new here also and still learning my way around. b4angeleyes I'm a pot addict and the occasional pill. I've been clean now 10 days, everyone here has given you some great advice on your son. Trust me, YES weed can be very addictive! I have not had withdrawals like most get from drinking etc. but my mood is awful! I have been extremly irritable, anxious, depressed and just don't feel like doing anything. I have checked into an outpatient rehab to help me through this. Best of luck to you and your family.
Michelle

[peajaye]

Welcome all,
Mist, I can relate so well. I remember what it was like when I couldn't find any pot. I don't believe anyone that says it is not addictive. I was as addicted as I could be. Everything you describe is a withdrawl symptom. It will go away, but it will take a while. Keep yourself busy and see if there are any NA meetings in your area. I benefit from AA because I am an alcoholic as well. I believe they go hand in hand. Alcohol/drugs. They'll both mess me up.

I just reread your post and think the out patient rehab thing will be such a God-send for you. I stayed in residential treatment for 6 months. I had been to treatment and relapsed after 5 months.
Love and respect,
PegJean

[Mist]

Welcome all,
Mist, I can relate so well. I remember what it was like when I couldn't find any pot. I don't believe anyone that says it is not addictive. I was as addicted as I could be. Everything you describe is a withdrawl symptom. It will go away, but it will take a while. Keep yourself busy and see if there are any NA meetings in your area. I benefit from AA because I am an alcoholic as well. I believe they go hand in hand. Alcohol/drugs. They'll both mess me up.

I just reread your post and think the out patient rehab thing will be such a God-send for you. I stayed in residential treatment for 6 months. I had been to treatment and relapsed after 5 months.
Love and respect,
PegJean

Thanks PegJean. Honestly I didn't go with NA around here because I know a few people that go to the NA meetings and they are NOT serious about treatment, they still use heavily and make fun of others when they get back from meetings. One of them was my supplier and I just don't think I could be around them right now. So I figured a good rehab with a mental health Dr. would be my best bet, I'm already on a depression med.(Lexapro) but it's just not working too good right now.

[Aprilskyzz]

Hello Mist. I too am on Lexapro and it really helped me with my depression. It takes a few weeks until you feel the effects of it so you should be feeling better soon.

I am addicted to pain meds and recently relapsed two days ago. I found a 2 in my pocket book and took them. My bf left me and I am struggling, but the peeps in here are really helping me thru this. Hope your day goes well and congrats on your clean time.

April

[Aprilskyzz]

I too am addicted to pain meds. I had a horrible time withdrawing from them. I was sick for 9 days. Didn't feel well for a few weeks but the first 9 days were hell. I had a month clean and recently relapsed by taking 2 percocets that i found in my pocketbook so i am now on 2 days. The guilt was extreme and my boyfriend left me because i told him. The people in here are really helping me thru this and they will help you too so keep coming back. I have been using this site since 7/17 and it really helps me. Congrats on your clean time.

April

[b4angeleyes]

Hello Nachise, Flickchic, Mist, Peajaye, Aprilskyzz,Thank you all for the welcome. I'm on day 8 clean now. I have good days and bad days.This has been He_ _ on earth and I do not want to have to go through this ever again ! Oh I sure know the differents even this last time I used nine days ago I was in pain but I also just wanted that feeling. When you talked about you found some in your pocket book that is so how I would do. When I had them I never had any controll. I have battled depression off and on most of my adult life I'm not on anything now but like depression on my bad days I have to say a prayer make and I mean MAKE myself get up take a shower and make myself do things I have to do like clean house then I make myself do things I enjoy so I don't just think about it all the time that is getting better now I don't think about it very much. I do on bad days. The biggest problem with my son is when he first started getting into trouble and useing pot this was all before I started having problems his probations officer told us because I new nothing about pot that it was not addictive in the sence as like drinking or druggs in your body you wouldn't have withdrawls. after seeing my son use for so long I have always felt it is addictive. the problem with him is he won't admitt he has a problem. and I know untill he admitts and wants help he will still use he is 21 now I have talked and talked to him I love him I have told him look at your life he won't keep a job most times he can't even get one because he can not pass the drug test he steals to get money to get his next high so forth. He owe so much money for hot checks he has been in jail 4 times and they are looking for him again for hot checks. and I think it was Mist who said about people not being serious that is so true when my son was in his teens and he was in and out of the courts here he was court ordered to rehab I would go inside with him to make sure he went and I would hear these kids and once in a while I would meet one who realy wanted clean but most would sit and talk and the only reason they were there was they didn't want jail time it is like a joke I wish there was something better because it seems for the most part like the court order rehab don't work. anyways I pray I can reach him before it is to late thanks and God Bless

[Nachise]

B4angeleyes, I'm sure that you will be the first to admit that you weren't ready to get help until you were sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Your son has to be sick and tired of being sick and tired of his own lifestyle and addiction. NO amount of counseling, no amount of jail time, no rehab or court-ordered meeting will do it for your son until he realizes that he needs to get help---not when you think he needs help, not when the justice system thinks he needs help---only when he thinks he needs help. There are many people out there who need to be clean and sober; very few of them ultimately want it for themselves.

In the meantime, you need to establish your own path in recovery. I went to meetings for three and a half years, only to come home to a drunk. Al-Anon helped me to handle my own sobriety in spite of how much my husband was drinking. Al-Anon, AA, and other 12-step meetings helped me walk that path. AA taught me I was powerless over my own alcoholism and addiction; Al-Anon taught me that I am powerless over another's alcoholism or addiction.

By the grace of God and the help of "teachers" put in my path to help me, I was able to do an intervention on my husband. He now has 14 years of recovery.

[b4angeleyes]

hello Nachise, you are so right all I can do for my son is pray and keep the door open he knows I love him. I will always hope and pray he sees his problems. thanks so much. God Bless

[Aprilskyzz]

My daughter has been partying lately and it is really starting to worry me. I can really relate on how you are so worried about your son. I myself have to get my life together so I feel like I cant help her until i help myself. I did suggest that she come to a meeting with me for support hoping that maybe it would open her eyes, but she didn't want to go with me. I pray for her all the time. Prescott gave me some really good advice today and said that I need to worry about getting on my own two feet and not get involved in anyone else's drama until I take charge of my own recovery. He's right. It's just hard to see my daughter going down the same path that I did, but unfortunately, i have to concentrate on my recovery and then maybe i will be able to help her. I just hope it's not too late when that time comes. Its very difficult to watch someone you love dealing with the disease of addiction especially dealing with it yourself and knowing how destructive it can be. Life can be hard at times, but staying clean will definitely help.

April

[Mist]

Hello Mist. I too am on Lexapro and it really helped me with my depression. It takes a few weeks until you feel the effects of it so you should be feeling better soon.

April

April I've been on Lexapro for 3 years, it always seemed to work until I got off drugs. I'm sure the Doc. will change it.

[b4angeleyes]

Hello Aprilskyzz, I sure understand what you feel that is your child and you love her and don't want to see her go down that same road. The bad thing is young people think there just having fun till it is to late. My son had problems or used pot and I am pretty sure he drank alot before I had problems with addiction but I now understand the hold it can have on your life. and if your daughter is like my son a adult and not living at home what can you do other than pray and like you said get your addiction under control so she like my son can not say oh yes I see what you do. I would just say talk to her let her know you love her no matter what and share what this has done to your life and tell her because you love her you don't want to see her go through the same thing. I would say the same thing even if she still lives at home because I went down that road when my son was still living at home we would tell him he could not go out or do this or that but it never helped he was always one step ahead he would go out a window and the cops would bring him home at 3 or 4 in the morning.We did everything we could think of we would tape string across the door if it was broken in the morning we knew he was out most times he got picked up we had him in and out of court and programs. but like someone said till he sees a problem and wants help. We got no where with that he was going to do what he wanted no matter what so just keep talking and the door open and let her know you love her. As a parent you worrie. if you need to talk I'm here I have and still have gone through things with my son that will just tear your heart out. I will help anyway I can you will be in my prayers. I am on day 9 clean but man I have had a bad day of cravings WOW. but no pills still clean. God Bless

[b4angeleyes]

Hey, just wanted to say hello to everyone day 11 clean I know that is a short time but I'm doing good. I just thank the good Lord for this site and all the wonderful people and if anyone in new. I know you can do this to God Bless everyone.

[free2bunme]

Congrats on 11 days Angel! Awesome!

This has been He_ _ on earth and I do not want to have to go through this ever again !

I know, I remember! Early sobriety is so hard. But then you get to the other side, and it's wonderful! Don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle. I am getting ready to go through the same process with quitting cigarettes and I am dreading it, but I know with the help of the steps, my HP, and supportive friends in recovery, I will somehow make it through. And you will too. Keep up the great work, one day at a time.

[b4angeleyes]

Hello Free2bunme, Thank you so much. Yes, smoking cigarettes is the next thing I have to work on to, but I need to get a little more down the road off the pain pills before I even try to stop this. I know that is just as hard. I pray the good Lord will get you through this to. God Bless.

[zoomie]

(((((((((((huggys)))))))) congrats on 11 days!!!!

[Prescott]

Hi b4angeleyes, 11 now 12 are very important each and everyday clean and sober is important. Early recovery can be tough. I never throught I could get clean and sober at all. Hang in thre your doing great !! Love and respect...John

[b4angeleyes]

Yes it still is hard but I'm hanging in there thanks John God Bless

[b4angeleyes]

Hello my friends, I have had a few very bad days with back pain but still no drugs and if I have counted right today is day 20 but it may be 19 days
( " old age LOL ! " I guess ) I had wrote on a paper when I first started that July 29th was my first day clean. I think that was after the day I messed up because I had started then messed up one day anyways. I still have good days and bad as far as pain and I had a few days where I would have cut my arm off for some pain pills but I got through it was not easy. I want to start to look around this site and let others know they can do this to. Please keep up the good works everyone on here is doing. I know everyone on here understands when I say when I first found this site how good it felt to know I was not alone and had others to talk to about this. I feel things happen for a reason and you might not always know how much your kind words can reach someones heart or life I know your words have in my life and I ask God to Bless each and every one of you thank you all.

[Prescott]

I want to start to look around this site and let others know they can do this to. Please keep up the good works everyone on here is doing. I know everyone on here understands when I say when I first found this site how good it felt to know I was not alone and had others to talk to about this. I feel things happen for a reason and you might not always know how much your kind words can reach someones heart or life I know your words have in my life and I ask God to Bless each and every one of you thank you all.
I have been a member here for 2 yrs and I feel exactly the same way. It's so nice to have you join in the journey. We come together to recover and help others find their way. How good is that!!! "GOD BLESS"

[flickchic]

http://www.hellasmultimedia.com/webimages/flowers-htm/flowers/image_flowers/pansy4.gifhttp://www.hellasmultimedia.com/webimages/flowers-htm/flowers/image_flowers/pansy7.gifhttp://www.hellasmultimedia.com/webimages/flowers-htm/flowers/image_flowers/pansy3.gifhttp://www.hellasmultimedia.com/webimages/flowers-htm/flowers/image_flowers/pansy6.gifhttp://www.hellasmultimedia.com/webimages/flowers-htm/flowers/image_flowers/pansy2.gif

(((((((((((Angeleyes))))))))))),

firstly, congratulations for having the courage and determination to "hang in there" and get to this day of recovery!!!!! Well done!!!!

Yes, I must agree, having found this site; knowing I am not alone, has enabled my recovery, to become something I had only dreamed of!!!!.....:29: "our" family here is wonderful, loving, caring and so supportive.....I feel that daily and know I am Blessed to be here.:195: It is also a pleasure and honour to be able to share with others what we can of our selves, even our hardships can help another, I have come to realise.

to quote John;We come together to recover and help others find their way. How good is that!!!Oh yeahyah IT IS REALLY REALLY GOOD!!!!!:1: :42:

http://d21c.com/kiddlehopper/12stepgraphics/xmir.jpgas it is yours to experience, simply because "you're you"!! God Bless.:195: :42:

[b4angeleyes]

Hello, John and flickchic, I couldn't have said it better thanks

[b4angeleyes]

Hello my friends, Today is my Birthday ( 43 years old ) and 22 days clean YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a good Day Everyone God Bless

[zoomie]

Happy birthday and congrats on your 22 days!!!

[b4angeleyes]

Thank you, Zoomie.

[alcabinboy]

Hi...I'm Al, a recovering alcoholic from Minnesota. Nice to meet y'all.