janbear
12-11-2008, 12:48 AM
Steps to eliminating manipulation in your life
Step 1: In order to eliminate the use of manipulation in your life, you first need to identify the behaviors you use to manipulate others to ignore or take over responsibility for your care and your problem life issues. To identify your manipulative behaviors, use the Manipulative Behavior Inventory in the beginning of this chapter.
Step 2: Once you've identified the manipulative behaviors you use to get people to do things for you to ignore your problems or to keep them off guard, you then need to identify who are the people you manipulate. In your journal, identify the people you manipulate.
Step 3: Why do you manipulate others? Identify in your journal the issues present in your life which you manipulate others to address or ignore. Answer the following questions about these issues.
A. How do you feel about each of these issues?
B. Why do you feel a need to manipulate others concerning these issues?
C. Which issues do you want others to ignore or overlook?
D. Which issues do you want others to fix or change for you?
E. Which issues do you want others to feel responsible for?
F. Which issues overwhelm you? Which issues overwhelm others?
G. Which issues depress you? Anger you?
H. Which issues do you want to run away from?
I. Which issues do you feel helpless to deal with? Hopeless to cope with?
Step 4: In your journal now identify:
A. What irrational beliefs keep you from successfully coping with each issue identified in Step 3?
B. What new, healthy, more rational beliefs do you need in order to cope with and handle these issues?
C. What thinking keeps you from accepting personal responsibility for your problems and issues?
D. What new thinking do you need in order to accept personal responsibility for your own problems and issues?
Step 5: In your journal now identify what new, healthier, more productive behaviors you need to develop to address your problems and issues.
Step 6: Implement these new behaviors.
Step 7: Inform people of your old manipulative behaviors and give them permission to "call you on it'' if you fall back into old manipulative ways.
Step 8: If you find yourself relapsing back into manipulative behaviors to get people to ignore or take care of you, then return to Step 1 and begin over again.
coping.org
Step 1: In order to eliminate the use of manipulation in your life, you first need to identify the behaviors you use to manipulate others to ignore or take over responsibility for your care and your problem life issues. To identify your manipulative behaviors, use the Manipulative Behavior Inventory in the beginning of this chapter.
Step 2: Once you've identified the manipulative behaviors you use to get people to do things for you to ignore your problems or to keep them off guard, you then need to identify who are the people you manipulate. In your journal, identify the people you manipulate.
Step 3: Why do you manipulate others? Identify in your journal the issues present in your life which you manipulate others to address or ignore. Answer the following questions about these issues.
A. How do you feel about each of these issues?
B. Why do you feel a need to manipulate others concerning these issues?
C. Which issues do you want others to ignore or overlook?
D. Which issues do you want others to fix or change for you?
E. Which issues do you want others to feel responsible for?
F. Which issues overwhelm you? Which issues overwhelm others?
G. Which issues depress you? Anger you?
H. Which issues do you want to run away from?
I. Which issues do you feel helpless to deal with? Hopeless to cope with?
Step 4: In your journal now identify:
A. What irrational beliefs keep you from successfully coping with each issue identified in Step 3?
B. What new, healthy, more rational beliefs do you need in order to cope with and handle these issues?
C. What thinking keeps you from accepting personal responsibility for your problems and issues?
D. What new thinking do you need in order to accept personal responsibility for your own problems and issues?
Step 5: In your journal now identify what new, healthier, more productive behaviors you need to develop to address your problems and issues.
Step 6: Implement these new behaviors.
Step 7: Inform people of your old manipulative behaviors and give them permission to "call you on it'' if you fall back into old manipulative ways.
Step 8: If you find yourself relapsing back into manipulative behaviors to get people to ignore or take care of you, then return to Step 1 and begin over again.
coping.org