shydawg
02-04-2009, 02:23 PM
Smyrna Ga,or Franklin louisiana
Posts: 1,864
You might be an Addict
You just might be an addict....
If you find yourself saying "It's not hurting anyone but me!" more than 6 times in less than 5 minutes ... You just might be an addict.
If you wake up in the morning and find things in your apartment you don't remember buying... you might be an addict
If you find yourself planning vacations around the drugs you intend to take ...
... you just might be an addict.
If you've ever smoked something unidentifiable you picked off the carpet just in case it might be the drugs you think you dropped there ...
... you just might be an addict.
If your dealer ever suggested that you slow down ...
... you just might be an addict.
If you dont remember why you are handcuffed to the bench at the police station after being arrested ... you just might be an addict ...
If the sunrise is merely a reminder that you neglected to go to sleep AGAIN, you might be an addict.
If you're lying in your bed and you think that you might be od'ing, so you use more to kill the pain...you might be an addict
If you steal your roomates money, and then help him look for it...you might be an addict
If your shorts and shirts have burn holes from dropped cirgarettes...you might be an addict
If you swear you're quitting but you are still going to use on the weekends...you might be an addict
If you have no fingernails...you might be an addict
If you have never studied in your life but spent your whole day researching the fasted route to your dealers house...you might be an addict
If you find yourself sleeping with you shoutgun...you might be a dealer or...you might be an addict
If the sun comes up and you are still cleaning your carpet...you might be an addict
If a porn director offers you unlimited dope for being in his movies, and you steal the dope and run...you might be an addict
......if a cop wakes you up in your car in the middle of a corn field and you tell him that you were just watching the pacers playing the san diego chickens on television at a friend's house.
........if you try to sell a fire extinguisher to a pawn shop.
if every bill that u have on you is rolled into a tube and u have to wipe it off before spending it at the store........
if u have searched every little corner in ur room to look for " the chunk" just cause ur dope sick and need something.....
if later on when u are clean a while and move ur room around and find pills and chunks everywhere....
if u use afrin nose spray just to clear the chunkage clog out...
if ur desk has smash marks all over it from smashing the pills .... (mine does lol ill send a pic if u really wanna see it)
if u just got a big ass stash and are paranoid of where ur gonna get more at when this stash runs out...
if u leave 2 hours early, in the freezing cold and show to meet the dope man on the corner and he dont show so u wait and wait and say ill give him 15 mins but u really wait the total of 5 hours till he finaly gets there....
if u have multipule pharmacy tags on ur keychain....
the pharmicist knows u by first name and if ur insurance dont' pay he automatically knows to charge u the cash price without calling to get autherization.... (mine used to lol)
you know where ur friends keep their meds at...
......if you boost some lotion from a dollar store and then go resell it in the hood to get some scratch.
......if all your clothes and bedding have cigarette burns in them.
......if the cops in the hood know you by your first name.
......if you know of every pay phone in the city that receives calls back.
......if you keep clothes and blankets in your car.
"you might be an addict if you walk in a bar and the sign says all you can drink for a dollar and you ask for 5 dollars worth"
Just might be an addict if....you are driving home from work...run three red lights...ignore, and or, not even notice the three cop cars in your rearview mirror w/flashing lights and sirens.....
due...to the simple, and compulsively driven "robotic" urge....
to??
You just might be an addict....IF.....you swear off sex for a year....
and happenstance a one nighter....
And start ordering mass amount of triple....double AA batteries....shortly thereafter~~
If you vacuum your carpet, then smoke the contents of the vacuum bag......
You might be an addict.
If you've ever stolen drugs from someone, then helped look for them, you might be an addict.
If you've ever sat around wondering if you are an addict, you might be an addict.
If you've ever tried to convince everyone around you that getting high is the only reason you and/or they are not dead yet ... you might be an addict. (personal experience)
If you ever found yourself really bugged out from a four-day trip on a single tab of something that you thought was acid but eventually figured must have been something else ...
... and the trip had you so spun that you were desperate for a feeling of "security" ...
... and you were hallucinating hard enough to think that you would find a feeling of "security" by following the signs pointing to a door marked "security" ....
... and you ended up being taken to the psych ward by the friendly folks in the office marked "secuirty" ...
... you just might be an addict.*
*true story, in a funny-but-sad way
If you cannot fight the compulsive urge to scour the medicine cabinet in every bathroom of every house you enter... you might be an addict.
If you trade a few ciggerettes with someone you just met in the parking lot of a grocery store at 3 a.m for a bit of dope, you might be an addict.
If you're in jail trading a honey bun for a chill pill with an inmate that just got put in GP from detox, you might be an addict.
If you own more than 6 pairs of tweezers, you might be an addict.
If you are on an NA forum thinking of witty comments to add that end in "you might be an addict", well, YOU MIGHT BE AN ADDICT!
If you can find a spoon no matter where you go, you just might be an addict
If you sit around and ponder how sad it is that the rest of society chooses NOT to live the "liberal, care-free, mind-expanding and free existance" that you are so blessed to have been living...while you are tightly locked in your bedroom with a blanket over the window....you just might be an addict.
...if, when getting bloodwork, you have to tell the nurse which vein will work the best
...if someone asks if they can bum a cigarettes and you reply, "No man, I only have 9 left" (I saw this happen at a meeting. I laughed and said, "You're not an addict now, are you?")
If you stay up all night and you're STILL late for work in the morning..
Every time you see any glass object, you automatically try to figure out how you could blow it into a pipe..
You can't commit to being anywhere more than two days ahead of time, cuz you don't know if it will be an "up" day or a "down" day..
.. you JUST might be an addict!
if u talk jibberish to cops about its not mine and i dont know how it got there, these pants arn't mine i borrowed them.....
if ur friday nite consists of a meeting.... u might be an addict lol mine does
if u have ever replaced hycodan with robotussin....
if u walk into a convenence store and eye up a tire guage and ur thinking that woujld make a good stem ....lol
..........If You wake up on Monday and find out that its really Sunday....
..........If you (in the past) Decided that because it was only sunday, you should have one more drink, pass out, and wake up on Staurday......
..........If you (in the past) Decided that because it was only saturday, you should have one more drink, pass out, and wake up on Friday......
..........If you (in the past) Decided that because it was only Friday, you should have one more drink, pass out, and wake up on .................................................. ......................
YOU MIGHT BE AN ADDICT
If you tell yourself "drug salad" should be the first part of every meal, and it ends up being the only course............
If you live in the ghetto and you have as many roaches in your livingroom as you do in your ash can............
If your friends come up to you and say, "You have some sxxxy veins!"..............
Ife you have sxxx doggystyle so you can both look out the window...............
If your favoriate motto was ill stop tomorrow...........
you might be an addict if you've spent the night on the roof of your house with night vison goggles and a shot gun, "watching them".... "watching you"
If you tried to pick up chicks at an SCA meeting...you might be an addict.
If you have ever calculated what a major drug bust would do to the market price...you might be an addict.
If you ever licked dollar bills for residue...you might be an addict.
If the drunk tank get's named the (Your name here) wing...you might be an addict.
If you spend just as much time carpet farming as you do copping new ****...you might be an addict.
If you ever tried to convince the paramedic that you were alright to go home after your heart attack...you might be an addict.
If you ever ODed but still tried to keep the cops from finding your stash...you might be an addict.
If all 10 people in the room are huddled around the television showing the feed from the camera pointed at the driveway, you might be an addict.
If every time you see headlights on that t.v. everyone in the room runs to the closet to hide, you might be an addict.
If you spend over an hour analyzing the shadows you swear you saw on that t.v. becuase you are convinced there is someone lurking there, you might be an addict.
If you just did all of the above but somehow FAILED to noticed the helicpopters and the SWAT team, you might be an addict.
If you're handcuffed in the back of a cop car on your way to jail despite all that time you spent hiding in the closet, you just might be a freaking addict!
if you remember everything about your arrest except the ride to the police station, you just might be an addict ...
if your car breaks down on the way to cop and you ask the police to give you a jump....
if you spend 23.5 hours in your closet even though you live alone....
If your arms look like they were used for a dart tournament you might be an addict.
If when you see one of those wide/thick straws from Mcdonald's you think I need this later.... you might be an addict
You may be an addict...
...if you hear the **** birds starting to chirp in the morning and all you want to do is go out and shoot every one of the mother ****ers!
...if your contact with God goes something like this: if you let me live through this I promise I'll never never ever ever ever do this **** again!!!!!
...if you decide you're going to quit forever, take all your paraphenelia out to the garbage, gently place it in the can and cover it with some newspaper, just in case...
If your pick-up line starts with "I really liked what you had to share..."
...You might be an addict.
If you have ever picked through your own vomit for pills that were "still good"...
...You might be an addict.
If you have ever woken up fully clothed with your bed on fire...
...You might be an addict.
If you use the term "your powerless" more than 10 times a day...
...You might be an addict.
If you stole $500 from someone and then helped them look for it... you might be an addict.
If you've ever got sunburn.... on the roof of your mouth.... you might be an addict!
If you really know what three doors deep means...you might be a addict.
(in case you don't know the the front door the bed room door and the closet door.)
You might be an addict if..
when you pay for your stuff at the store and both you and the clerk do your best to ignore the big rock that just fell out of your nose.
or, all the cops at county jail know you by name and get the rest of the guys in the holding tank to follow you to dress out because "he knows the way".
If none of the lamps in your place have light bulbs anymore, you just might be an addict.
If none of the faucets have screens in them anymore, you just might be an addict.
If you have baking soda in your fridge but not for the "fresh smell, " you just might be an addict.
If you have brillo, but you've never ever used it to clean, you just might be an addict.
If there's a sign in front of your house that says "We are not having a yard sale so please stop asking how much everything costs, " you just might be an addict!
If you ever cooked a 5-course meal, and then realized you're not hungry (and neither is anyone else), you just might be an addict.
If you ever stopped at a green light, you just might be an addict.
you might be an addict.....
if you have purchased several tire gauges and never checked your tire pressure... or better yet don't own a set to check.
if your favorite saying is "just one more"
if you can relate to the events on "COPS" and shout out advice to those being arrested from your livingroom.
if you work all week and turn your pay check over to someone who is your friend only on paydays....
if the pawn shop tells you that you cannot pawn anything else... you have reached your max!!!!
if you forgot how to SHARE
if in recovery you "keep coming back" ;]
if giving the police your name requires pulling your license out of your pocket and pointing and your mouth isn't even full... you might be an addict...
if you know what A.M.A. means, you might be an addict (against medical advice)
if you leave the hospital A.M.A. only to find out your in a different county than you thought you were... you might be an addict (so that's why they looked at me funny when i said i'd walk home)
if you ever had to go on an expedition to find the car you borrowed for the night... you might be an addict...
if your mornings include saying the phrase, "what happened" you might be an addict...
if your friends' morning includes saying phrases like, "do you know what you did last night" you might be an addict...
if you ever began and ended a relationship in the course of one black out... you might be an addict (and you had to find out with "do you know what you did last night?")
if you know that driving with one eye shut gets rid of double vision... you might be an addict...
if every story you have starts with "We were really high, and..." you might be an addict...
if you have ever looked at your passenger to ask how you were driving... you might be an addict...
if you have ever been relieved that the cops took all your booze because he didn't take the stash from your boxers... you might be an addict...
if your drug friends tell you to take it easy... you might be an addict...
if you ever offered to rub off some recovery... you might be an addict...
if you know the phrase "recovery by injection" you might be an addict...
if you know which keytags are old-timers resentment tags... you might be an addict...
if you get pulled over after getting your 30day tag and show the cop as a deterant to searching your car... and then get pissed off when you are standing on the shoulder on one foot saying the alphabet... you might be an addict.
If you ever got beat but smoked it all anyway...just in case some real **** somehow snuck in there...you might be an addict.
... if your mini-blinds are permanently disfigured from geeking , you might be an addict.
If you consider long nods time travelling.....
If looking out your window keeps you from hitting your pipe.....
If you walk up to the counter at the pharmacy and he says " 1 bag of half cc short needle...?".....
If you know that the Stop and Go has a perfect toilet paper holder that works as a counter top.....
If your idea of complimenting someones stuff is " I bet I could get a bundle for that" you might b an addict.
If you are banned from every hotel room in town you might be an addict. Its true ...still
If parents hold their kids hand when they walk bye you you might be an addict.
If you hide **** from yourself you might be an addict.
if you spend 45 minutes in the cold medicine aisle at the drug store reading the labels on the cold relief meds, but will snort any powdered substance placed in front of you with a straw....you might be an addict.
if you have bought a "fifth" of scope at the 24 hour pharmacy, because the liquor store closed at 2am and you can't make it until dawn for a drink....you might be an addict.
you've ever taken prenatal vitamins to counter act your lack of nutrition and you are either not pregnant, or a man....you might be an addict.
If you bought something and pawned it on the same day....You might be an addict
If after being on a 3 day run you go to get your car and can't find it, so you report it stolen to the police, then 2 days later you find it and are so releaved you head down the road only to be pulled over at gun point and taken to jail for a DUI & driving a stolen vehicle, because you forgot to call the law and tell them you found your ride you might be an addict. LOL. This really happened to a guy I know
if youve ever **** in a urinal.
you might be an addict.lol
if you ever wrecked your car because you dropped your morphine sucker you might be an addict.lol
If you have to look out your window to see if its night or day.....you might be an addict.
If you know the exact date your friends refill their prescriptions.....you might be an addict.
If you stay up all night to map out the next day's garage sales and get to the first one before daylight.....then you might be an addict.
If you think the newsman on the evening news is really looking at you....then you might be an addict.
After a long day of "carpet farming" you then decide to Pull up the carpet cause "if I can't find it in the carpet it must have slipped under the carpet!" you are really an addict!
After getting paid at work on Friday, (if you still have a job) you have to mail money to yourself so you'll have gas money on Monday, you might be an addict.
If you tried to figure out how to get the money out of the mail box an hour later, you are definately an addict.
if you wake up on a garbage scow in the middle of the hudson bay with an empty bottle of vodka in each hand and a pidgeon on your forehead, you just may be an addict.. :)
if your sitting in a dentist's office at midnight (working on their network of course), smoking crack in a dental chair, amassing a pile of pills and liquid demerol to take with you, and go outside to smoke a cigarette and peek over the fence at the people in the trees... well, you just might be an addict (true story)..
if you run down into the basement and start yelling at all the faces you see down there but can barely get out a squeak cause of an impending collapsed lung, you just might be an addict (another true one);>.
IF YOU TAKE APART YOUR CAR AND PUT BACK TOGETHER AND STILL HAVE NUTS AND BOLTS LEFT...YOU MIGHT BE AN ADDICT...
IF YOU KEEP PEEKING OUT YOUR WINDOW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT....YOU MIGHT BE AN ADDICT...
IF YOU HAVE A LIT CIGARETTE IN EVERY ROOM OF YOUR HOUSE....YOU MIGHT BE AN ADDICT....
IF YOU GAS LIGHT IN YOUR CAR HAS BEEN ON FOR THREE DAYS....YOU MIGHT BE AN ADDICT...
if when you wake up ( or better said, "come to") and dont remember last night, but you have more money in your pocket than you did before......you just might be an addict!
if at the end of every summer you think; ****, missed another one. Next year we'll get out and about......you might be an addict
If drug use messed you up so bad that you cant remember any of the you might be an addict posts you just read you might be an addict.
If you realize that the "dope" you just bought is actually ground-up sweet tarts and then procede to shoot it all anyway, you might be an addict.
Heard this one in my home group.
If you stand there watching your friend in front of your house at 3:00 am, walk up and down the street with a 100 foot extension cord and a 500 watt halogen lamp looking for his issue of crank he lost cuz you know if he finds it, you get some......... you just might be an addict.
If you find yourself in a darkroom, developing negatives, you might be an addict
If you have ever gotten crack and a new pipe for christmas from your other half and thought it was a really great gift...
If you have to ask someone else if you had a good time last night...you jusst might be an addict.
when your ask what you want for your birtday and you answeris a once or so... you might be an addict.
If you've ever thought, "I wonder what would happen if I smoked this. . .(not something known for being smoked, like a lily), " you just might be an addict.
If you've had your 20th cup a coffee by noon, you might be an addict
if you think April 20th should be a holiday, you might be an addict
if you see some one looped outta there mind and want some of whatever they took, you might be an addict!
If someone ods and you want to know where they got it from you just might be an addict
IF you lock yourself in a closet and listen to Pink Floyds The Wall, to get some insight, you might be an addict.
if you know that driving with one eye shut gets rid of double vision... you might be an addict
If a part of your window blind is set up for a peek hole, you might be an addict..
didn't know how else to word it
network) shooting all their liquid demerol and valium, smoking crack in the conference room, huffin their nitrous and going outside and peering over the fence to yell at the cops in the trees... well... you know..
If you're using your unpaid bills to roll up because you're so broke you can't afford real roll ups
You! Just might be an addict
If you weigh 120 lbs (85lbs for women) soaking wet BUT AINT on a diet!
You! Just might be an addict
If you're a walking encyopedia about how to beat drug tests
You just might be an addict
If you start seeing NARCS hiding under every single rock and tree in your neighborhood
You just might be an addict
If you're getting twitchy and nervous around cops even when you DON'T have drugs on you
You just might be an addict
if you've ever carpet farmed when you STILL HAD DOPE just beacuase you KNOW you dropped some and need to get a bigger shot... you might be an addict...
if you've ever done a shot of ash and sand...
if you you've ever thought or said about somebody "he would be cool if he got high"...
if you've ever drank to get in the game, then got too drunk to play... you might be an addict...
if you've ever had to explain why you and your friend(s) were in the bathroom together...
if you've ever thought about being a cop so you could bust people and smoke thier ****...
if you've ever done really stupid or degrading **** to entertain your friends because one offered you a few dollars, a pack of cigarettes or a joint... you might be an addict
lol all personal experience... i'l try to think of more... but i still love what it says in the "welcome to na" i.p. --- non addicts dont sit around wondering if they're addicts
if you've ever had to explain why you and your friend(s) were in the bathroom together you might be an addict
if you've ever thought about being a cop so you could bust people and smoke thier **** you might be an addict
If you fall asleep with a Snickers bar and the chocolate gets all over your body and the sheets, and you think you've **** yourself again....you might be an addict.
If you're nodding in agreement to most of the post here saying either done it or know someone that's had something like that happen to them....
You just might be an addict
if you have ever thought jail was a good place to think (and take a break), you just might be an addict.
if the only way to get out of bed was to suck up some smoke, you just might be an addict.
if you drove better while using, you just might be an addict (or at least thought you did).
if all you can eat buffet sounds good at 4 am, you just might be an addict.
if skipping sleep for 3 days, seems like a good way to get stuff done, you just might be an addict.
if vitamin C works best in hand fulls, you just might be an addict.
if you like to wear sunglasses at night while you are driving, you just might be an addict.
if you keep a log of your using and descriptions of how great each day was based on teh drugs you are taking, you just might be an addict.
if your best artwork or music is always when you are high, you just might be an addict. (or better)... if all your artwork or music is made when you are high, and you have nothing else to show for yourself, you just might be an addict.
if all your friends use, and anyone that does not use or drink you avoid, you just might be an addict.
if your dread sunlight, you just might be an addict.
if your last sandwich was bologna with two slices of bread (and nothing more) and it was soooo good... you just might be an addict. (honestly, if you ever had a bologna sandwich with just two slices and bread and it was sooo good, you just might be an addict).
if you idea of spirituality is talking to other homeless people talking about how great it is to be free and how ****ed up the world is (and how great you are), you just might be an addict.
if you are trying to kill yourself, you just might be an addict (admitting you are and addict and getting help, is the only way to fix this).
You might be an addict if you crack open a beer early in the morning and say it's noon somewhere.
If you discover that Ping Pong balls can get you high and you start stashing them because you might run low...
You're deliriously happy about that bong that you got from a friend for your birthday...
if you get happy over your next perscription refill.
If you try to fix something that aint broke... you might be an addict.
If you have 10 vcr's and none of the work anymore because you are working on them... you might be an addict.
If you think the FBI is after you and you realize you must be out of it, but it turns out they are, you might be an addict.
If you think the world is against you and you get a paper handed to you which states. "the people of the united states of america vs. (your name here)" and now you have proof... you might be an addict.
If the spiders under your skin tell you to slow down, you might be an addict.
If your house is spotless and your teeth look like sh*t, you might be an addict.
If you choose to drive across country rather than take a plane and possibly get your works confiscated, you might be an addict.
If you spend time practicing forging doctors' handwriting, you might be an addict.
You might be an addict if...
your first boyhood crush, was your probation officer.
You might be an addict if...
you didn't know brillo pads and baking soda were, "actually, " made for cleaning.
You might be an addict if...
you can convert grams to ounces, ounces to pounds, and pounds to kilos, but have no idea how
many quarts are in a gallon.
You might be an addict if...
you have more tattoos than teeth.
You might be an addict if...
is you've ever used your inmate ID to buy malt liquor.
You might be an addict if...
you'd rather play on the internet than write your steps.
It's funny because they're all so true!
You might be an addict if...
you can convert grams to ounces, ounces to pounds, and pounds to kilos, but have no idea how many quarts are in a gallon.
that might be in the top 5!!!
I never did anything big, but the whole once thing, was sorta common math. It was funny how many people flunked algebra, but they could tell you the price of a quarter anything in 5 different zip codes.
On the same line.... You might be an addit, if you know how to use a mail scale, before you ever knew what they were for. (I think you know what I mean, lmao)
Actually, it is kind of embasing if you ever saw one after you got clean. I remember my first time and how funny I felt. I sorta knew what it was for, but man it was just so weird.
if you put potato chips on your stairs to hear if some one is coming then you might be an addict
if u turn out all the lights in ur house and hide under the table flaming up a big ass lighter swearing up and down no one can see u u might be an addict!
if you keep geting pist cause u keep finding rice on the floor of ur kitchen instead of *****
u might be an addict
if u keep telling the person shut up as ur looking out the window saying shhh I think there coming
u might be an addict!
sad part is these are true accounts of my life cause I'm an addict
If you keep extra syringe plungers in your pocket just in case you need one you might be an addict
If you go to your dealer with $20 in change and can't believe he won't take it you might be an addict
If you find yourself calling everyone you know at 2am trying to find someone to buy your microwave for $20 you might be an addict
If you keep a bottle of bleach, a spoon, a bottle of water, chore-boy, a lighter and tinfoil stashed under the seat of your car you might be an addict
If you come home 2 weeks late and your explanation starts with "you're not going to believe what happened...."
If you ever got a credit card for the sole purpose of buying stuff to pawn....
If you know how to scam an ATM for money....
If the cops let you go because you looked so ****ed up you couldn't possibly be on drugs....
If Wal-Mart refuses to give you refunds even with a receipt....
If the person at the return counter ever said to you "And why are you returning 35 pounds of steak?"
If you let random people crash on your floor so you can steal their drugs while they're sleeping....
If your neighbors call the cops for that strange noise upstairs and they find you nodding in a corner smashing your head off the wall you might be an addict
If you leave your first NA meeting thinking "yeah i can see how that can help some people but i'm not THAT bad..."
If you have ever smoke catnip to get high because your friend told you it "kitty canabis"
If you drank a whole bottle of robatusin because no was answering the phone.
If you dug a whole in the woods and called it your "safe house" so you could use without everyone watching you
If you puked from drinking to much and was happy cause you "had more room" to drink again
If you lit your hair on fire smoking whatever with a lighter that looked more like a torch
If you've ever cut a totally obvious hole in the garage door of the place that you're renting so you can watch for cops at 4:00 a.m. or
If you've ever talked about how sick your f&^cked up neighbor was cuz he was convinced the cops had flying cyborgs monitoring the neighborhood for dealers, while at the same time you consistantly burst into empty rooms convinced the assholes in there were talking about you...
If you ever did your dope in the bathtub because you were convinced the mirrors had microthin cameras in them.....
If you ever thought the birds chirping in the morning when you came home were bird whistles used by the cops to signal each other that you were home.....
If you ever thought you had psychic abilities and could read people's futures.....
If you ever scraped so many baggies that you probably snorted the equivalent of 20 hefty bags..... you might be an addict
If the cook at the local detox knows your favorite meal, you might be an addict.
If you've ever stolen your own posessions, you might be an addict.
If a near death experience sounds like fun, you might be an addict.
If you cop on the street, so as not to "bother" your doctor, you might be an addict.
If you've been on tour longer than you've been in school, you might be an addict.
If you've injured yourself for the medication, you might be an addict.
and my personal favorite........................
If you've ever thrown up and then dug throught it to find undisolved pills....you might be an addict
if u ever woke up in a hospital screaming to the doctor dont give me narcon !
u might be an addict !
if u know what narcon is u might be an addict
** two personal experiences / sadly, I have dozens like many of us **
1)
If you have a new partner each day, every day for a full month -- and feel that you **arent** getting enough sex or attention from women; you might be an addict.
(glad those days are over!!)
2)
If you volunteer for a one year deployment to the middle east with the military, 4 weeks after a massive hernia surgery == you might be an addict.
(Too bad my days of 65 pound body armor & 120 degree sun aren't over !!)
You might be an addict if you know what crumb crawling is
and in recovery if you can laugh about it today
If your idea of cooking involves a lighter and a spoon…
and all of your nicknames involve your DOC…
and your war stories don't have anything to do with armed conflict…
and when you first heard "We are not interested in what or how much you used..." you thought, then what the hell am I supposed to talk about?...
... then you might be an addict!
You just might be an addict if you have a sun burned tongue... All from nodding in the sun, of course....
When the dopeboy asks "how much are you wanting?" and you reply "how much do you have?"
When you count your money according to how much dope its worth, not money itself.
If you find you're self reading this you just might be a addict........
If you're dealer calls you every morning just to take you're order you just might be an addict...
If you know all the dealers by heart but noone elses you just might be an addict.....
If when you drive to meet "the man" you're car breaks down and you walk the next 5 miles in 15min you just might be an addict......
if you come to, out of a blackout, in the back of a police cruiser...ya might be an addict.
if yer first "spiritual awakening" comes to ya while yer in the county solitary confinement...ya might be an addict.
if yer first "higher power" was a court judge...ya might be an addict.
if you've ever said OR thought..."no, really!!...it's different THIS time!"...ya might be an addict.
if the lyrics "too much of everything is just enough" puts a grin on yer face...ya might be an addict.
if ya just read 12 pages of replies to this post and yer bummed/pissed cuz there ain't no more...dammit, I'm still an addict...I reckon!!!
if you can find a vein before you can find a parking spot you might be an addict.
if your sofa has no change left in it you might be an addict.
If you use your stove and never cook food you might be an addict.
if you use birthday candles to light your pipe you might be an addict
If you swear their are people in the (empty) apartment next door to you and sit for hours against the wall because you swear you can hear them listening to you listening to them, you might be an addict
If three sleepless dope filled days later your across town and you swear those pesky neighbors from the apartments are in the trees and try to sneak up on them (two hours later still formulating a plan of atttack) you might be an addict.
If another two days pass and your offering a hit to those same pesky (invisible I might add) neighbors downtown in a whole nother world. you might be an addict
AND FINALLY
If your first date in recovery was to IHOP for coffee you might be an addict
If you've had sex in a car in a church parking lot after a meeting, you might be an addict.
If you proposition someone for sex by asking if they want to come over after the meeting and "watch a movie", you might be an addict.
If they agree knowing full well what they are agreeing to, THEY might be an addict.
If you've ever considered getting loaded because the insanity inside the rooms seems so much worse than the insanity of getting loaded.
if you've ever received word that your boyfriend -girlfreind was sleeping with your sponsee, and both will still not cop to it.
if you've ever had sexual relations with someone in the rooms who is known as less-than-desirable, and say, "i was soooo tired" (instead of "i was soooo drunk/high/loaded/cracked out, etc") to cover yourself
if you use your clean time to justify your last relationship (ie., I only had 43 days when we hooked up)
if you've ever slept with someone only to find out the two of you had slept with enough people who'd slept with each other that you've pretty much been sleeping together for years
if you've ever attended a certain worthless midnight AA meeting for the sole purpose of getting some action (++bonus points if you did!++)
if you've ever been given or have offered a "back rub"
if you've walked into a meeting and been faced with the last 4 people you've slept with...and at least 2 of them are sitting with their current partners.
if a trying to make a 9th step amends has ever turned into you sleeping with the person.
if you've ever actually drawn out a diagram of the people you and your best friend have both slept with. to see the overlaps and short time span
if you've ever had sex on a couch at 2nd Chance
............you just might be a recovering addict.
If you've ever pawned your stuff while you were clean, to get an energy drink...
you might be an addict.
Some are sicker than others.
if you have ever cooked a 7 course meal with no intention of eating it you might be an addict!
if it takes you 3 hours to drink a beer you might be an addict!
if your socks look like a dalmation you might be an addict!
if you don't have any thing that plugs into the wall....you might be an addict.
if you are stopped at the door of the pawn shop....you might be an addict.
if you go back to the pawn shop to get a phone number off that cell phone you just pawned....you might be an addict.
if some one asks you how much your pay check was, and you answered about 6 rocks....you might be an addict.
if you go to the quickie mart to cash your check, and have to make a phone call first....you might be an addict.
if you ask "do i look high?" ....you might be an addict.
if you can tell the time by which infomercial is on TV....you might be an addict.
if you are riding you bike at 3 am with an DVD player in your bag....you might be an addict.
if you are trying to think of more " you might be an addict" jokes then you might be an addict....lol
if you ever said " hold on let me finish this" to the cop who told you to get out of the car . . . . . . . . you just might be an addict !
Keep coming back...cuz you might be an addict!
*
Posts: 1,864
You might be an Addict
You just might be an addict....
If you find yourself saying "It's not hurting anyone but me!" more than 6 times in less than 5 minutes ... You just might be an addict.
If you wake up in the morning and find things in your apartment you don't remember buying... you might be an addict
If you find yourself planning vacations around the drugs you intend to take ...
... you just might be an addict.
If you've ever smoked something unidentifiable you picked off the carpet just in case it might be the drugs you think you dropped there ...
... you just might be an addict.
If your dealer ever suggested that you slow down ...
... you just might be an addict.
If you dont remember why you are handcuffed to the bench at the police station after being arrested ... you just might be an addict ...
If the sunrise is merely a reminder that you neglected to go to sleep AGAIN, you might be an addict.
If you're lying in your bed and you think that you might be od'ing, so you use more to kill the pain...you might be an addict
If you steal your roomates money, and then help him look for it...you might be an addict
If your shorts and shirts have burn holes from dropped cirgarettes...you might be an addict
If you swear you're quitting but you are still going to use on the weekends...you might be an addict
If you have no fingernails...you might be an addict
If you have never studied in your life but spent your whole day researching the fasted route to your dealers house...you might be an addict
If you find yourself sleeping with you shoutgun...you might be a dealer or...you might be an addict
If the sun comes up and you are still cleaning your carpet...you might be an addict
If a porn director offers you unlimited dope for being in his movies, and you steal the dope and run...you might be an addict
......if a cop wakes you up in your car in the middle of a corn field and you tell him that you were just watching the pacers playing the san diego chickens on television at a friend's house.
........if you try to sell a fire extinguisher to a pawn shop.
if every bill that u have on you is rolled into a tube and u have to wipe it off before spending it at the store........
if u have searched every little corner in ur room to look for " the chunk" just cause ur dope sick and need something.....
if later on when u are clean a while and move ur room around and find pills and chunks everywhere....
if u use afrin nose spray just to clear the chunkage clog out...
if ur desk has smash marks all over it from smashing the pills .... (mine does lol ill send a pic if u really wanna see it)
if u just got a big ass stash and are paranoid of where ur gonna get more at when this stash runs out...
if u leave 2 hours early, in the freezing cold and show to meet the dope man on the corner and he dont show so u wait and wait and say ill give him 15 mins but u really wait the total of 5 hours till he finaly gets there....
if u have multipule pharmacy tags on ur keychain....
the pharmicist knows u by first name and if ur insurance dont' pay he automatically knows to charge u the cash price without calling to get autherization.... (mine used to lol)
you know where ur friends keep their meds at...
......if you boost some lotion from a dollar store and then go resell it in the hood to get some scratch.
......if all your clothes and bedding have cigarette burns in them.
......if the cops in the hood know you by your first name.
......if you know of every pay phone in the city that receives calls back.
......if you keep clothes and blankets in your car.
"you might be an addict if you walk in a bar and the sign says all you can drink for a dollar and you ask for 5 dollars worth"
Just might be an addict if....you are driving home from work...run three red lights...ignore, and or, not even notice the three cop cars in your rearview mirror w/flashing lights and sirens.....
due...to the simple, and compulsively driven "robotic" urge....
to??
You just might be an addict....IF.....you swear off sex for a year....
and happenstance a one nighter....
And start ordering mass amount of triple....double AA batteries....shortly thereafter~~
If you vacuum your carpet, then smoke the contents of the vacuum bag......
You might be an addict.
If you've ever stolen drugs from someone, then helped look for them, you might be an addict.
If you've ever sat around wondering if you are an addict, you might be an addict.
If you've ever tried to convince everyone around you that getting high is the only reason you and/or they are not dead yet ... you might be an addict. (personal experience)
If you ever found yourself really bugged out from a four-day trip on a single tab of something that you thought was acid but eventually figured must have been something else ...
... and the trip had you so spun that you were desperate for a feeling of "security" ...
... and you were hallucinating hard enough to think that you would find a feeling of "security" by following the signs pointing to a door marked "security" ....
... and you ended up being taken to the psych ward by the friendly folks in the office marked "secuirty" ...
... you just might be an addict.*
*true story, in a funny-but-sad way
If you cannot fight the compulsive urge to scour the medicine cabinet in every bathroom of every house you enter... you might be an addict.
If you trade a few ciggerettes with someone you just met in the parking lot of a grocery store at 3 a.m for a bit of dope, you might be an addict.
If you're in jail trading a honey bun for a chill pill with an inmate that just got put in GP from detox, you might be an addict.
If you own more than 6 pairs of tweezers, you might be an addict.
If you are on an NA forum thinking of witty comments to add that end in "you might be an addict", well, YOU MIGHT BE AN ADDICT!
If you can find a spoon no matter where you go, you just might be an addict
If you sit around and ponder how sad it is that the rest of society chooses NOT to live the "liberal, care-free, mind-expanding and free existance" that you are so blessed to have been living...while you are tightly locked in your bedroom with a blanket over the window....you just might be an addict.
...if, when getting bloodwork, you have to tell the nurse which vein will work the best
...if someone asks if they can bum a cigarettes and you reply, "No man, I only have 9 left" (I saw this happen at a meeting. I laughed and said, "You're not an addict now, are you?")
If you stay up all night and you're STILL late for work in the morning..
Every time you see any glass object, you automatically try to figure out how you could blow it into a pipe..
You can't commit to being anywhere more than two days ahead of time, cuz you don't know if it will be an "up" day or a "down" day..
.. you JUST might be an addict!
if u talk jibberish to cops about its not mine and i dont know how it got there, these pants arn't mine i borrowed them.....
if ur friday nite consists of a meeting.... u might be an addict lol mine does
if u have ever replaced hycodan with robotussin....
if u walk into a convenence store and eye up a tire guage and ur thinking that woujld make a good stem ....lol
..........If You wake up on Monday and find out that its really Sunday....
..........If you (in the past) Decided that because it was only sunday, you should have one more drink, pass out, and wake up on Staurday......
..........If you (in the past) Decided that because it was only saturday, you should have one more drink, pass out, and wake up on Friday......
..........If you (in the past) Decided that because it was only Friday, you should have one more drink, pass out, and wake up on .................................................. ......................
YOU MIGHT BE AN ADDICT
If you tell yourself "drug salad" should be the first part of every meal, and it ends up being the only course............
If you live in the ghetto and you have as many roaches in your livingroom as you do in your ash can............
If your friends come up to you and say, "You have some sxxxy veins!"..............
Ife you have sxxx doggystyle so you can both look out the window...............
If your favoriate motto was ill stop tomorrow...........
you might be an addict if you've spent the night on the roof of your house with night vison goggles and a shot gun, "watching them".... "watching you"
If you tried to pick up chicks at an SCA meeting...you might be an addict.
If you have ever calculated what a major drug bust would do to the market price...you might be an addict.
If you ever licked dollar bills for residue...you might be an addict.
If the drunk tank get's named the (Your name here) wing...you might be an addict.
If you spend just as much time carpet farming as you do copping new ****...you might be an addict.
If you ever tried to convince the paramedic that you were alright to go home after your heart attack...you might be an addict.
If you ever ODed but still tried to keep the cops from finding your stash...you might be an addict.
If all 10 people in the room are huddled around the television showing the feed from the camera pointed at the driveway, you might be an addict.
If every time you see headlights on that t.v. everyone in the room runs to the closet to hide, you might be an addict.
If you spend over an hour analyzing the shadows you swear you saw on that t.v. becuase you are convinced there is someone lurking there, you might be an addict.
If you just did all of the above but somehow FAILED to noticed the helicpopters and the SWAT team, you might be an addict.
If you're handcuffed in the back of a cop car on your way to jail despite all that time you spent hiding in the closet, you just might be a freaking addict!
if you remember everything about your arrest except the ride to the police station, you just might be an addict ...
if your car breaks down on the way to cop and you ask the police to give you a jump....
if you spend 23.5 hours in your closet even though you live alone....
If your arms look like they were used for a dart tournament you might be an addict.
If when you see one of those wide/thick straws from Mcdonald's you think I need this later.... you might be an addict
You may be an addict...
...if you hear the **** birds starting to chirp in the morning and all you want to do is go out and shoot every one of the mother ****ers!
...if your contact with God goes something like this: if you let me live through this I promise I'll never never ever ever ever do this **** again!!!!!
...if you decide you're going to quit forever, take all your paraphenelia out to the garbage, gently place it in the can and cover it with some newspaper, just in case...
If your pick-up line starts with "I really liked what you had to share..."
...You might be an addict.
If you have ever picked through your own vomit for pills that were "still good"...
...You might be an addict.
If you have ever woken up fully clothed with your bed on fire...
...You might be an addict.
If you use the term "your powerless" more than 10 times a day...
...You might be an addict.
If you stole $500 from someone and then helped them look for it... you might be an addict.
If you've ever got sunburn.... on the roof of your mouth.... you might be an addict!
If you really know what three doors deep means...you might be a addict.
(in case you don't know the the front door the bed room door and the closet door.)
You might be an addict if..
when you pay for your stuff at the store and both you and the clerk do your best to ignore the big rock that just fell out of your nose.
or, all the cops at county jail know you by name and get the rest of the guys in the holding tank to follow you to dress out because "he knows the way".
If none of the lamps in your place have light bulbs anymore, you just might be an addict.
If none of the faucets have screens in them anymore, you just might be an addict.
If you have baking soda in your fridge but not for the "fresh smell, " you just might be an addict.
If you have brillo, but you've never ever used it to clean, you just might be an addict.
If there's a sign in front of your house that says "We are not having a yard sale so please stop asking how much everything costs, " you just might be an addict!
If you ever cooked a 5-course meal, and then realized you're not hungry (and neither is anyone else), you just might be an addict.
If you ever stopped at a green light, you just might be an addict.
you might be an addict.....
if you have purchased several tire gauges and never checked your tire pressure... or better yet don't own a set to check.
if your favorite saying is "just one more"
if you can relate to the events on "COPS" and shout out advice to those being arrested from your livingroom.
if you work all week and turn your pay check over to someone who is your friend only on paydays....
if the pawn shop tells you that you cannot pawn anything else... you have reached your max!!!!
if you forgot how to SHARE
if in recovery you "keep coming back" ;]
if giving the police your name requires pulling your license out of your pocket and pointing and your mouth isn't even full... you might be an addict...
if you know what A.M.A. means, you might be an addict (against medical advice)
if you leave the hospital A.M.A. only to find out your in a different county than you thought you were... you might be an addict (so that's why they looked at me funny when i said i'd walk home)
if you ever had to go on an expedition to find the car you borrowed for the night... you might be an addict...
if your mornings include saying the phrase, "what happened" you might be an addict...
if your friends' morning includes saying phrases like, "do you know what you did last night" you might be an addict...
if you ever began and ended a relationship in the course of one black out... you might be an addict (and you had to find out with "do you know what you did last night?")
if you know that driving with one eye shut gets rid of double vision... you might be an addict...
if every story you have starts with "We were really high, and..." you might be an addict...
if you have ever looked at your passenger to ask how you were driving... you might be an addict...
if you have ever been relieved that the cops took all your booze because he didn't take the stash from your boxers... you might be an addict...
if your drug friends tell you to take it easy... you might be an addict...
if you ever offered to rub off some recovery... you might be an addict...
if you know the phrase "recovery by injection" you might be an addict...
if you know which keytags are old-timers resentment tags... you might be an addict...
if you get pulled over after getting your 30day tag and show the cop as a deterant to searching your car... and then get pissed off when you are standing on the shoulder on one foot saying the alphabet... you might be an addict.
If you ever got beat but smoked it all anyway...just in case some real **** somehow snuck in there...you might be an addict.
... if your mini-blinds are permanently disfigured from geeking , you might be an addict.
If you consider long nods time travelling.....
If looking out your window keeps you from hitting your pipe.....
If you walk up to the counter at the pharmacy and he says " 1 bag of half cc short needle...?".....
If you know that the Stop and Go has a perfect toilet paper holder that works as a counter top.....
If your idea of complimenting someones stuff is " I bet I could get a bundle for that" you might b an addict.
If you are banned from every hotel room in town you might be an addict. Its true ...still
If parents hold their kids hand when they walk bye you you might be an addict.
If you hide **** from yourself you might be an addict.
if you spend 45 minutes in the cold medicine aisle at the drug store reading the labels on the cold relief meds, but will snort any powdered substance placed in front of you with a straw....you might be an addict.
if you have bought a "fifth" of scope at the 24 hour pharmacy, because the liquor store closed at 2am and you can't make it until dawn for a drink....you might be an addict.
you've ever taken prenatal vitamins to counter act your lack of nutrition and you are either not pregnant, or a man....you might be an addict.
If you bought something and pawned it on the same day....You might be an addict
If after being on a 3 day run you go to get your car and can't find it, so you report it stolen to the police, then 2 days later you find it and are so releaved you head down the road only to be pulled over at gun point and taken to jail for a DUI & driving a stolen vehicle, because you forgot to call the law and tell them you found your ride you might be an addict. LOL. This really happened to a guy I know
if youve ever **** in a urinal.
you might be an addict.lol
if you ever wrecked your car because you dropped your morphine sucker you might be an addict.lol
If you have to look out your window to see if its night or day.....you might be an addict.
If you know the exact date your friends refill their prescriptions.....you might be an addict.
If you stay up all night to map out the next day's garage sales and get to the first one before daylight.....then you might be an addict.
If you think the newsman on the evening news is really looking at you....then you might be an addict.
After a long day of "carpet farming" you then decide to Pull up the carpet cause "if I can't find it in the carpet it must have slipped under the carpet!" you are really an addict!
After getting paid at work on Friday, (if you still have a job) you have to mail money to yourself so you'll have gas money on Monday, you might be an addict.
If you tried to figure out how to get the money out of the mail box an hour later, you are definately an addict.
if you wake up on a garbage scow in the middle of the hudson bay with an empty bottle of vodka in each hand and a pidgeon on your forehead, you just may be an addict.. :)
if your sitting in a dentist's office at midnight (working on their network of course), smoking crack in a dental chair, amassing a pile of pills and liquid demerol to take with you, and go outside to smoke a cigarette and peek over the fence at the people in the trees... well, you just might be an addict (true story)..
if you run down into the basement and start yelling at all the faces you see down there but can barely get out a squeak cause of an impending collapsed lung, you just might be an addict (another true one);>.
IF YOU TAKE APART YOUR CAR AND PUT BACK TOGETHER AND STILL HAVE NUTS AND BOLTS LEFT...YOU MIGHT BE AN ADDICT...
IF YOU KEEP PEEKING OUT YOUR WINDOW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT....YOU MIGHT BE AN ADDICT...
IF YOU HAVE A LIT CIGARETTE IN EVERY ROOM OF YOUR HOUSE....YOU MIGHT BE AN ADDICT....
IF YOU GAS LIGHT IN YOUR CAR HAS BEEN ON FOR THREE DAYS....YOU MIGHT BE AN ADDICT...
if when you wake up ( or better said, "come to") and dont remember last night, but you have more money in your pocket than you did before......you just might be an addict!
if at the end of every summer you think; ****, missed another one. Next year we'll get out and about......you might be an addict
If drug use messed you up so bad that you cant remember any of the you might be an addict posts you just read you might be an addict.
If you realize that the "dope" you just bought is actually ground-up sweet tarts and then procede to shoot it all anyway, you might be an addict.
Heard this one in my home group.
If you stand there watching your friend in front of your house at 3:00 am, walk up and down the street with a 100 foot extension cord and a 500 watt halogen lamp looking for his issue of crank he lost cuz you know if he finds it, you get some......... you just might be an addict.
If you find yourself in a darkroom, developing negatives, you might be an addict
If you have ever gotten crack and a new pipe for christmas from your other half and thought it was a really great gift...
If you have to ask someone else if you had a good time last night...you jusst might be an addict.
when your ask what you want for your birtday and you answeris a once or so... you might be an addict.
If you've ever thought, "I wonder what would happen if I smoked this. . .(not something known for being smoked, like a lily), " you just might be an addict.
If you've had your 20th cup a coffee by noon, you might be an addict
if you think April 20th should be a holiday, you might be an addict
if you see some one looped outta there mind and want some of whatever they took, you might be an addict!
If someone ods and you want to know where they got it from you just might be an addict
IF you lock yourself in a closet and listen to Pink Floyds The Wall, to get some insight, you might be an addict.
if you know that driving with one eye shut gets rid of double vision... you might be an addict
If a part of your window blind is set up for a peek hole, you might be an addict..
didn't know how else to word it
network) shooting all their liquid demerol and valium, smoking crack in the conference room, huffin their nitrous and going outside and peering over the fence to yell at the cops in the trees... well... you know..
If you're using your unpaid bills to roll up because you're so broke you can't afford real roll ups
You! Just might be an addict
If you weigh 120 lbs (85lbs for women) soaking wet BUT AINT on a diet!
You! Just might be an addict
If you're a walking encyopedia about how to beat drug tests
You just might be an addict
If you start seeing NARCS hiding under every single rock and tree in your neighborhood
You just might be an addict
If you're getting twitchy and nervous around cops even when you DON'T have drugs on you
You just might be an addict
if you've ever carpet farmed when you STILL HAD DOPE just beacuase you KNOW you dropped some and need to get a bigger shot... you might be an addict...
if you've ever done a shot of ash and sand...
if you you've ever thought or said about somebody "he would be cool if he got high"...
if you've ever drank to get in the game, then got too drunk to play... you might be an addict...
if you've ever had to explain why you and your friend(s) were in the bathroom together...
if you've ever thought about being a cop so you could bust people and smoke thier ****...
if you've ever done really stupid or degrading **** to entertain your friends because one offered you a few dollars, a pack of cigarettes or a joint... you might be an addict
lol all personal experience... i'l try to think of more... but i still love what it says in the "welcome to na" i.p. --- non addicts dont sit around wondering if they're addicts
if you've ever had to explain why you and your friend(s) were in the bathroom together you might be an addict
if you've ever thought about being a cop so you could bust people and smoke thier **** you might be an addict
If you fall asleep with a Snickers bar and the chocolate gets all over your body and the sheets, and you think you've **** yourself again....you might be an addict.
If you're nodding in agreement to most of the post here saying either done it or know someone that's had something like that happen to them....
You just might be an addict
if you have ever thought jail was a good place to think (and take a break), you just might be an addict.
if the only way to get out of bed was to suck up some smoke, you just might be an addict.
if you drove better while using, you just might be an addict (or at least thought you did).
if all you can eat buffet sounds good at 4 am, you just might be an addict.
if skipping sleep for 3 days, seems like a good way to get stuff done, you just might be an addict.
if vitamin C works best in hand fulls, you just might be an addict.
if you like to wear sunglasses at night while you are driving, you just might be an addict.
if you keep a log of your using and descriptions of how great each day was based on teh drugs you are taking, you just might be an addict.
if your best artwork or music is always when you are high, you just might be an addict. (or better)... if all your artwork or music is made when you are high, and you have nothing else to show for yourself, you just might be an addict.
if all your friends use, and anyone that does not use or drink you avoid, you just might be an addict.
if your dread sunlight, you just might be an addict.
if your last sandwich was bologna with two slices of bread (and nothing more) and it was soooo good... you just might be an addict. (honestly, if you ever had a bologna sandwich with just two slices and bread and it was sooo good, you just might be an addict).
if you idea of spirituality is talking to other homeless people talking about how great it is to be free and how ****ed up the world is (and how great you are), you just might be an addict.
if you are trying to kill yourself, you just might be an addict (admitting you are and addict and getting help, is the only way to fix this).
You might be an addict if you crack open a beer early in the morning and say it's noon somewhere.
If you discover that Ping Pong balls can get you high and you start stashing them because you might run low...
You're deliriously happy about that bong that you got from a friend for your birthday...
if you get happy over your next perscription refill.
If you try to fix something that aint broke... you might be an addict.
If you have 10 vcr's and none of the work anymore because you are working on them... you might be an addict.
If you think the FBI is after you and you realize you must be out of it, but it turns out they are, you might be an addict.
If you think the world is against you and you get a paper handed to you which states. "the people of the united states of america vs. (your name here)" and now you have proof... you might be an addict.
If the spiders under your skin tell you to slow down, you might be an addict.
If your house is spotless and your teeth look like sh*t, you might be an addict.
If you choose to drive across country rather than take a plane and possibly get your works confiscated, you might be an addict.
If you spend time practicing forging doctors' handwriting, you might be an addict.
You might be an addict if...
your first boyhood crush, was your probation officer.
You might be an addict if...
you didn't know brillo pads and baking soda were, "actually, " made for cleaning.
You might be an addict if...
you can convert grams to ounces, ounces to pounds, and pounds to kilos, but have no idea how
many quarts are in a gallon.
You might be an addict if...
you have more tattoos than teeth.
You might be an addict if...
is you've ever used your inmate ID to buy malt liquor.
You might be an addict if...
you'd rather play on the internet than write your steps.
It's funny because they're all so true!
You might be an addict if...
you can convert grams to ounces, ounces to pounds, and pounds to kilos, but have no idea how many quarts are in a gallon.
that might be in the top 5!!!
I never did anything big, but the whole once thing, was sorta common math. It was funny how many people flunked algebra, but they could tell you the price of a quarter anything in 5 different zip codes.
On the same line.... You might be an addit, if you know how to use a mail scale, before you ever knew what they were for. (I think you know what I mean, lmao)
Actually, it is kind of embasing if you ever saw one after you got clean. I remember my first time and how funny I felt. I sorta knew what it was for, but man it was just so weird.
if you put potato chips on your stairs to hear if some one is coming then you might be an addict
if u turn out all the lights in ur house and hide under the table flaming up a big ass lighter swearing up and down no one can see u u might be an addict!
if you keep geting pist cause u keep finding rice on the floor of ur kitchen instead of *****
u might be an addict
if u keep telling the person shut up as ur looking out the window saying shhh I think there coming
u might be an addict!
sad part is these are true accounts of my life cause I'm an addict
If you keep extra syringe plungers in your pocket just in case you need one you might be an addict
If you go to your dealer with $20 in change and can't believe he won't take it you might be an addict
If you find yourself calling everyone you know at 2am trying to find someone to buy your microwave for $20 you might be an addict
If you keep a bottle of bleach, a spoon, a bottle of water, chore-boy, a lighter and tinfoil stashed under the seat of your car you might be an addict
If you come home 2 weeks late and your explanation starts with "you're not going to believe what happened...."
If you ever got a credit card for the sole purpose of buying stuff to pawn....
If you know how to scam an ATM for money....
If the cops let you go because you looked so ****ed up you couldn't possibly be on drugs....
If Wal-Mart refuses to give you refunds even with a receipt....
If the person at the return counter ever said to you "And why are you returning 35 pounds of steak?"
If you let random people crash on your floor so you can steal their drugs while they're sleeping....
If your neighbors call the cops for that strange noise upstairs and they find you nodding in a corner smashing your head off the wall you might be an addict
If you leave your first NA meeting thinking "yeah i can see how that can help some people but i'm not THAT bad..."
If you have ever smoke catnip to get high because your friend told you it "kitty canabis"
If you drank a whole bottle of robatusin because no was answering the phone.
If you dug a whole in the woods and called it your "safe house" so you could use without everyone watching you
If you puked from drinking to much and was happy cause you "had more room" to drink again
If you lit your hair on fire smoking whatever with a lighter that looked more like a torch
If you've ever cut a totally obvious hole in the garage door of the place that you're renting so you can watch for cops at 4:00 a.m. or
If you've ever talked about how sick your f&^cked up neighbor was cuz he was convinced the cops had flying cyborgs monitoring the neighborhood for dealers, while at the same time you consistantly burst into empty rooms convinced the assholes in there were talking about you...
If you ever did your dope in the bathtub because you were convinced the mirrors had microthin cameras in them.....
If you ever thought the birds chirping in the morning when you came home were bird whistles used by the cops to signal each other that you were home.....
If you ever thought you had psychic abilities and could read people's futures.....
If you ever scraped so many baggies that you probably snorted the equivalent of 20 hefty bags..... you might be an addict
If the cook at the local detox knows your favorite meal, you might be an addict.
If you've ever stolen your own posessions, you might be an addict.
If a near death experience sounds like fun, you might be an addict.
If you cop on the street, so as not to "bother" your doctor, you might be an addict.
If you've been on tour longer than you've been in school, you might be an addict.
If you've injured yourself for the medication, you might be an addict.
and my personal favorite........................
If you've ever thrown up and then dug throught it to find undisolved pills....you might be an addict
if u ever woke up in a hospital screaming to the doctor dont give me narcon !
u might be an addict !
if u know what narcon is u might be an addict
** two personal experiences / sadly, I have dozens like many of us **
1)
If you have a new partner each day, every day for a full month -- and feel that you **arent** getting enough sex or attention from women; you might be an addict.
(glad those days are over!!)
2)
If you volunteer for a one year deployment to the middle east with the military, 4 weeks after a massive hernia surgery == you might be an addict.
(Too bad my days of 65 pound body armor & 120 degree sun aren't over !!)
You might be an addict if you know what crumb crawling is
and in recovery if you can laugh about it today
If your idea of cooking involves a lighter and a spoon…
and all of your nicknames involve your DOC…
and your war stories don't have anything to do with armed conflict…
and when you first heard "We are not interested in what or how much you used..." you thought, then what the hell am I supposed to talk about?...
... then you might be an addict!
You just might be an addict if you have a sun burned tongue... All from nodding in the sun, of course....
When the dopeboy asks "how much are you wanting?" and you reply "how much do you have?"
When you count your money according to how much dope its worth, not money itself.
If you find you're self reading this you just might be a addict........
If you're dealer calls you every morning just to take you're order you just might be an addict...
If you know all the dealers by heart but noone elses you just might be an addict.....
If when you drive to meet "the man" you're car breaks down and you walk the next 5 miles in 15min you just might be an addict......
if you come to, out of a blackout, in the back of a police cruiser...ya might be an addict.
if yer first "spiritual awakening" comes to ya while yer in the county solitary confinement...ya might be an addict.
if yer first "higher power" was a court judge...ya might be an addict.
if you've ever said OR thought..."no, really!!...it's different THIS time!"...ya might be an addict.
if the lyrics "too much of everything is just enough" puts a grin on yer face...ya might be an addict.
if ya just read 12 pages of replies to this post and yer bummed/pissed cuz there ain't no more...dammit, I'm still an addict...I reckon!!!
if you can find a vein before you can find a parking spot you might be an addict.
if your sofa has no change left in it you might be an addict.
If you use your stove and never cook food you might be an addict.
if you use birthday candles to light your pipe you might be an addict
If you swear their are people in the (empty) apartment next door to you and sit for hours against the wall because you swear you can hear them listening to you listening to them, you might be an addict
If three sleepless dope filled days later your across town and you swear those pesky neighbors from the apartments are in the trees and try to sneak up on them (two hours later still formulating a plan of atttack) you might be an addict.
If another two days pass and your offering a hit to those same pesky (invisible I might add) neighbors downtown in a whole nother world. you might be an addict
AND FINALLY
If your first date in recovery was to IHOP for coffee you might be an addict
If you've had sex in a car in a church parking lot after a meeting, you might be an addict.
If you proposition someone for sex by asking if they want to come over after the meeting and "watch a movie", you might be an addict.
If they agree knowing full well what they are agreeing to, THEY might be an addict.
If you've ever considered getting loaded because the insanity inside the rooms seems so much worse than the insanity of getting loaded.
if you've ever received word that your boyfriend -girlfreind was sleeping with your sponsee, and both will still not cop to it.
if you've ever had sexual relations with someone in the rooms who is known as less-than-desirable, and say, "i was soooo tired" (instead of "i was soooo drunk/high/loaded/cracked out, etc") to cover yourself
if you use your clean time to justify your last relationship (ie., I only had 43 days when we hooked up)
if you've ever slept with someone only to find out the two of you had slept with enough people who'd slept with each other that you've pretty much been sleeping together for years
if you've ever attended a certain worthless midnight AA meeting for the sole purpose of getting some action (++bonus points if you did!++)
if you've ever been given or have offered a "back rub"
if you've walked into a meeting and been faced with the last 4 people you've slept with...and at least 2 of them are sitting with their current partners.
if a trying to make a 9th step amends has ever turned into you sleeping with the person.
if you've ever actually drawn out a diagram of the people you and your best friend have both slept with. to see the overlaps and short time span
if you've ever had sex on a couch at 2nd Chance
............you just might be a recovering addict.
If you've ever pawned your stuff while you were clean, to get an energy drink...
you might be an addict.
Some are sicker than others.
if you have ever cooked a 7 course meal with no intention of eating it you might be an addict!
if it takes you 3 hours to drink a beer you might be an addict!
if your socks look like a dalmation you might be an addict!
if you don't have any thing that plugs into the wall....you might be an addict.
if you are stopped at the door of the pawn shop....you might be an addict.
if you go back to the pawn shop to get a phone number off that cell phone you just pawned....you might be an addict.
if some one asks you how much your pay check was, and you answered about 6 rocks....you might be an addict.
if you go to the quickie mart to cash your check, and have to make a phone call first....you might be an addict.
if you ask "do i look high?" ....you might be an addict.
if you can tell the time by which infomercial is on TV....you might be an addict.
if you are riding you bike at 3 am with an DVD player in your bag....you might be an addict.
if you are trying to think of more " you might be an addict" jokes then you might be an addict....lol
if you ever said " hold on let me finish this" to the cop who told you to get out of the car . . . . . . . . you just might be an addict !
Keep coming back...cuz you might be an addict!
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