lharpster
02-22-2009, 07:56 PM
Hello Everyone
My name is Lori, I am 41 years old. I am the youngest of 7 children. My oldest brother Philip is a alcoholic/crack addict and my sister Susan is also an alcoholic/crack addict. Our father passed 2 years ago and both now live with my 80 year old infirm mother. my brother has lived at my parents home(s) for as long as I can remember (he is 52 years old, unmarried (except to drugs)) my sister recently moved in with my mother because she was thrown out of the place she was staying at - didn't have anywhere else to go - and decided that cutting her wrists would get the attention she wanted. And it did! My mother (reluctantly) is allowing her to stay with her and my brother. No one else in the family is willing to take her in because she also is a thief and very difficult (and sickly) to live with. Her oldest son is not in her life and her daughter (taken from her when she was 12) also is not in her life.
I guess since I can't remember these two any other way except being in trouble with drugs and alcohol, I don't hold any hope for either one. Both have been thru rehab(s) and my sister even spent 8 months is jail for fraud and drugs.
Unfortunately, it's my mother who worries me most. She will not stop enabling my brother - who is way worse than my sister. She, for the last 30 years - holds on to hope that he will change. She tells him that she will never give him money again - but it's always a story with him - and she falls for it. Just this past weekend he asked for money to fix his car - she gave him $100 and he was gone for 2 days. She worried herself sick about him until he came home and told her that he used the money for drugs. She will always defend him - it is sooo pitiful.
I have no problem not caring about what they do anymore - but how do I help my mother now? I have invited her to live with my husband and I (and she has stayed with us recently after a long hospital stay) but she won't listen or take any advice from any of the rest of us about my brother and sister.
Any advice anyone has for me would be great - I hate that I can't make my mothers late years more peaceful for her.
Thanks,
Lori
My name is Lori, I am 41 years old. I am the youngest of 7 children. My oldest brother Philip is a alcoholic/crack addict and my sister Susan is also an alcoholic/crack addict. Our father passed 2 years ago and both now live with my 80 year old infirm mother. my brother has lived at my parents home(s) for as long as I can remember (he is 52 years old, unmarried (except to drugs)) my sister recently moved in with my mother because she was thrown out of the place she was staying at - didn't have anywhere else to go - and decided that cutting her wrists would get the attention she wanted. And it did! My mother (reluctantly) is allowing her to stay with her and my brother. No one else in the family is willing to take her in because she also is a thief and very difficult (and sickly) to live with. Her oldest son is not in her life and her daughter (taken from her when she was 12) also is not in her life.
I guess since I can't remember these two any other way except being in trouble with drugs and alcohol, I don't hold any hope for either one. Both have been thru rehab(s) and my sister even spent 8 months is jail for fraud and drugs.
Unfortunately, it's my mother who worries me most. She will not stop enabling my brother - who is way worse than my sister. She, for the last 30 years - holds on to hope that he will change. She tells him that she will never give him money again - but it's always a story with him - and she falls for it. Just this past weekend he asked for money to fix his car - she gave him $100 and he was gone for 2 days. She worried herself sick about him until he came home and told her that he used the money for drugs. She will always defend him - it is sooo pitiful.
I have no problem not caring about what they do anymore - but how do I help my mother now? I have invited her to live with my husband and I (and she has stayed with us recently after a long hospital stay) but she won't listen or take any advice from any of the rest of us about my brother and sister.
Any advice anyone has for me would be great - I hate that I can't make my mothers late years more peaceful for her.
Thanks,
Lori