New here..need help

[maceerose]

I am looking for support as my drinking is now affecting my family. I have two great kids, great husband, great job and friends but I have a drinking problem. Last night I was drunk in front of my kids and drunk at a rehearsal i had for a play i am in. This morning my husband said if I don't get help he is going to file for divorce. He can't understand why I just cant' quit or just drink one or two drinks. i hate myself right now and feel like such a failure. There are not many meetings in my area and the next one is Wednesday. I'm scared right now. I don't want to lose my family. I want to quit drinking but I'm scared.

[Doraine]

You can quit drinking one day at a time. Get to a meeting asap. I have no regrets about joining AA. I only wish I had done it sooner.Your husband can go to Alanon it's for family and friends of alcoholic's. You don't have to lose everything. Going to your first meeting may seem scary but newcomers are welcomed. Do you need to go to a detox first? I stopped drinking at home but I was a mess and could have used a detox.Best wishes for your recovery.

[DavidNOLA]

In addition to what Doraine said, something I don't hear people say often enough:
Buy a Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and READ it. The first 164 pages may save your life.

[Rockin Big Daddy]

You are creating your life right now. Make it outstanding.
The ups and downs of the moment will come and they will go. What will always remain is your passion for living.

You are a dynamic expression of a universe that is overflowing with limitless possibilities. Choose to live up to your highest potential.

Focus on your most compelling and authentic desires, for in them you will find boundless energy to achieve. Do truly great things for the world by doing what gives you real fulfillment.

[Rockin Big Daddy]

:21:AM YOUR DISEASE

I am your disease. Give in to me and have that glass of wine or just one beer (or extra pills, those lines, that pipe, or the needle). I love it when you slip, because I can feel you coming under my power. Once I have you, you are powerless; you cannot resist me. And if you choose me over your Higher Power (God), I can block that connection.

I am proud of how cunning and subtle I am. I do not stand in front of you brazenly offering your substance. No, I lie in wait within you, perfectly willing to take a back seat to your steps, your tools, your meetings, if that is what you want. Usually, when you are feeling down, you have had enough of me; you may turn to your higher power (God). But when you are feeling good, I am ready for action, because you will let down your guard. You are foolish to think that at any given time, I am not a strong influence within you. When you choose me, my power grows.

You think that time gives you immunity, but it does not. You assume that because you have had me under control for a while, that I am beaten. But I am not. I am still here watching for an opportunity to begin my destruction. The only time my power is useless is when you turn me over to your higher power (GOD). That seems to be the only thing that can save you from me, anywhere, anytime.

I love it when you do not recognize my power, because it means that you will fall into my trap sooner or later. Go ahead, skip that meeting, stop taking your medicine, do not get or call a sponsor. Forget all of those coping skills, isolate, tell everyone off, try something new like gambling, who needs that schedule. Do what you want, when you want. See your old drinking and drugging buddies. Go ahead and do it. You deserve it. You need to celebrate. You had a bad day. You had a bad week. You have a bad life. No one understands. You are feeling guilty, angry, and anxious. It does not feel good and you do want to feel something different. Go ahead and do it!

Do not be so smug. I will never leave you. So if you intend to save yourself and your precious program, you are just going to have to keep turning me over, using your tools, going to meetings, staying connected, and working the steps….

[BIG AL]

YOU CAN QUIT IM PRYING JUST DONT PICK UP FIRST DRINK AND YOU WONT GET DRUNK

[jollygirl]

I hope you have gotten help by now. I just walked into the ER and said I need to detox and they helped me from there. I haven't gone to detox yet (I'm going next week), however, they said if it was from alcohol and not opiates there are a lot more options for detox and it's easier to get a bed somewhere. So please, don't waste one more minute if you haven't gotten help yet.

I understand all those feelings of guilt. I am a children's pastor and work in the social work field with addicts and I have this huge monkey on my back...talk about feeling like a hypocrite, but this addiction has taken over us and we are wrong to think we can "control" it.

I'm sure there are many more people on this board who are actually sober now who can offer much better advice, but that is my two cents!