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[Tom1]

Thought I would try this. Been to many AA metings, keep dropping out due to fact that I "only" drink once/ week, never lost job or family (although wife very hurt when I drink). I am very good at convincing myself that I do not have a problem, even just had a "controlled' drinking experience that did not end as I hoped. No recent trouble as I have switched my drinking to my house and days off, so I now basically look forward to getting pretty drunk once a week, am completely fine in between and convinced I have no problem, until I pick it up again. This denial is really keeping me from recovery. Hope I don't have to hit bottom first like many I have seen. I will check this site out a bit.

[francie21805]

Welcome Tom!! Glad you're here!!

Suggestion: If you really want to see what's what, grab a sponsor and work the 1st Step with them.

Praying you don't have to hit the bottom some of us have had to hit.

[yukonm]

:67: Welcome Tom. I am glad you found this site. Please browse around the forums, I hope you decide to stick around. Francie had excellent suggestions, we are here to support and encourage you.

[skyhook]

Tom,

The thing about bottom is that no ones is quite the same as anothers, because we all have diiferent pain thresholds.

Sometimes folks with lesser pain thresholds are more fortunate because they recognize things sooner, and maybe therefore recieve or give out less collateral damage than someone with a higher pain resistance.

You sound like someone who gets it and that can make all the difference in your fight for freedom.

Peace.

[Tom1]

Thanks all, I will try to spend a little time here daily, some pretty good advice.

[zoomie]

You do not have to be an alcoholic to have a drinking problem. There are different stages. I drank a lot in my youth and cut down when I was older. I still drank at times when I should not have therefore I quit drinking. I never had a black out, never lost anything really,but mine was an emotional bottom plus I take medication and it's a no no to drink on medication. I would forget why I stopped drinking if I did not have some sort of support. Try not drinking for a while to be more healthy. What have you got to lose?

[thereishope]

Hello tom,
Welcome to CRF, its nice to meet you. Ya know what im very glad you are reaching out now and looking for answeres and help cause the YETS (not yets) are not far behind and i see from your post that you do realize that. I am so very glad you are reaching out for help and support and we are all here for you so please do keep on coming back. We would all like to wish you much love and many blessings on your journey of recovery and discovery.

[Tom1]

Thanks again to all. I actually did drink To blackouts (normal for college kids in 80's) and had DUI, so I certainly met all criteria then except I thought it was NORMAL to drink to blackouts, isn't that why everyone drinks? Only as I got older did I realize that most people did not drink to blackouts, and remedied the problem by not drinking in public anymore.Last 2-3 years manage to drink the same amt every time but stop short of blackouts, had to switch to wine because very religious wife (we are both non denominational christian) thought finding 20- 30 empty beer cans laying around to be excessive.Now I am doing the best I have in 25 years, problem is I finally am admitting I have a problem.I can go up to 2 weeks without even THINKING about it, but when the bug hits, no one will stop me,which is why I do not want a sponsor (he will tell me not to drink, Duh!!)[I] do not know why I can't let go of this.The advise about not trying to get 30 days helped (thanks Deeters and everyone else). That has been a source of embarassment and keeping me from meetings, God Bless all.

[zoomie]

Meetings are for anyone who whats to stop drinking. They are free and easy to get to. LOL on the sponcer thing. Of course a sponcer is going to tell you not to drink, everyone who knows you have a drinking problem is going to tell you not to drink. You do not have to say that your going to quit for good, just think about quitting one day at a time for now. We break it down to baby steps so it's easy to do. It's really not the end of the world if you stop drinking. You just have to find new ways of doing things.

[skyhook]

"I can go up to 2 weeks without even THINKING about it, but when the bug hits, no one will stop me,which is why I do not want a sponsor "

My on going recovery plan is best symbolized by a 3-legged stool.

One leg is maintenance. Steps 1-12

One leg is accountability. Family, Work, Friends, Sponsor, etc...

Last leg. This is the personal one. I think everyone has a third component that is unique to them and their experience. This is usually the driving one that makes leg one and two, recognizable as important. It is the trigger point and reminder of our ongoing awakening.

Peace.

[Doraine]

Welcome Tom. I went through periods of not drinking at all. Over time, a lot of years, I started drinking every day. There's no doubt in my mind that I am an alcoholic.

[flick]

:322:Tom, nice to meet you. Glad you have taken the step to reach out and own you have a problem.....There are many different forms an alcoholic can take, I've been through periods of drinking most days, to once a week, and then when I worked away, I was happy to go the two weeks without but on my week off each time I binged big time!!!.....to the point of blackouts....not pretty!!!!.....I hope you can make it to meetings and get yourself that sponsor so that you can work the Steps, the real issues with us alcoholics/addicts is what lies behind the drinking.....we all have something we are/have been trying to escape, and the drinking escalates the problems....even if we are not conciously aware of what we are trying to escape from...which is more often than not ourselves, until we begin to look at what's going on we are unable to cease drinking on our own!!!

I wish you well and hope you keep coming back!!!!:29::D

[jollygirl]

Welcome Tom,

You actually remind me a lot of me. I knew I had a problem with pills because of why I used, not the amount. However, I didn't think I used "enough", only a few here and there (but never because I was in pain, but because I was stressed or upset). I wanted to go get help in a rehab center to "fix my brain" (that's what I thought then), but I thought the doctor would laugh at me and tell me I didn't need to be there. However, 2-3 a week turned into 2-3 a day, to 2-3 an hour until I entered the hospital 18 days ago with a 50-75 pill a day habit. I wish I would have risked getting help when it was 2-3 a week. I was more worried about being rejected though. I knew though that my intentions in using were scarier than the amount I was using which eventually flip flopped in the end and the pills ran my life and the amount I was using was much scarier than why I was using. Drugs and alcohol can go from being your "soother and best friend" to dragging you to dark depths you never thought you would travel and your grim reaper very quickly. I'm glad that you at least realize that maybe something may be not quite right. I'm not you so I can't say whether or not you have a problem. It sounds like you think so and are teetering on the edge, and the whole point of my post is just for me to say I wish I would have gotten help when I was still in that stage.