I'm Christina and I'm an addict

[Christina C]

HI! I'm Christina. I'm 25 years old and I am a heroin addict. I have been clean now since 8/12/2008. I had been trying for almost 3 years before I got more than 60 days together. I live in Michigan. I am doing pretty well, but latley I've been missing the old days when using with all my friends was great, but I know now that going back wouldn't be great only lonley, all of those friends I had "fun" with have died, moved or gotten clean. Now that I am clean I am starting to be a real person again. I am a seasonal job and I am now looking for another one. My family trusts me and I people are starting to like me for ME not for what I cam give them. I am having a hard time with the higher power thing though because God has done some things that have made me mad, for example once I prayed for help with a relationship. The next day the guy dumped me. Thats just one of many examples so I am scared to ask God for help. I love a life of not having to worry about going through withdrawl or wondering where I am going to get money, having to lie and steal and being scared of going to jail. I am so glad I got clean before death got me clean forever.

[Jay Bee]

WELCOME to cyber recovery , Thanks for sharing :15:. RECOVERY is a process of Discovery ( Step Three ) & Unity is the spirit that joins thousands of members around the world in a spiritual fellowship that has the (POWER) to (CHANGE) lives. DON'T LET PROCRASTINATION BE A THIEF IN YOUR LIFE :15:.

[thereishope]

Hello christina,
Welcome to CRF, its so nice to meet you. I am so very glad you have come to join us here.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! On your clean time. THATS AWESOME!!!!!!
There is alot of support and friends here for you and we need you as well so please keep on coming back ok.
We would all like to wish you much love and many blessings on your journey of recovery and discovery.

[zoomie]

God does not let us down people do. Glad you are here and glad you are clean. It's normal for you to want to use from time to time that is why we must make it a one day at a time program.

[jeff_f]

Welcome to the group!! :17:

Jeff F

[yukonm]

Hi Christina,
:67: I am happy you found us and want to thank you for sharing part of your story with us. Please keep coming back, we are here to encourage and support you.

[Rockin Big Daddy]

Even when there's no good reason to enjoy life, enjoy it anyway. Discover the delightful truth that joy is its own best reason.
Truly enjoy the place where you are, and you make it even better. Find joy in the moment you're now living, and you'll multiply the treasures that the moment can bring.

You won't hurt anyone else by enjoying who you are and what you're doing. On the contrary, your own joy can bring much joy to those around you.

[flick]

Hi Kristen and welcome,

I too struggled with the whole God concept for a while, I was a total non-believer for many years....figured if there really was a God then why on earth where horrid things happening to me, why was I abused as a child? and later....

as ((Zoomie)) shared; God doesn't let us down, people do....God has "His plan" for each of us, and often it isn't what we think we want it to be.....

God gives everyone free will, many abuse it, us included, He doesn't have the power to stop that happening, what He can do is teach us to do His will and guide us through difficult times....."everything happens for a reason" and everything we go through in life has lessons for us to learn.....

I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't been through each of the experiences I have...and while many of them were pretty horrific they've given me strength to be here today and be of support to others who have been through similar stuff!!!!

I pray you are able to find a God of your understanding, it will change your life!!

btw, congrats on you clean time, awesome stuff!!!!

[Tom1]

Welcome Christina. I am new here so probably not much as wisdom as the old-timers. That being said, even believers struggle with faith. My first wife cheated on me, got pregnant by him, left me and took our 1 year old son 13 years ago.Little did I know God had better plans for me, He is restoring my relationship with my son and has given me a wife of 10 years now that brought me to Lord. I absolutely have my stuggles with belief almost daily, but have seen the miracles He has worked in people's lives. Hang in there.

[jollygirl]

Hi Christina,
When I first read the title of your post I thought it said "I'm a Christian and an addict" and I thought "join the club" :), there are a lot of us out there. Anyway, that was off the topic. I am glad you found us, and I am really excited about your length of sobriety! When I read your prayer about God my thought was that maybe the answer to your prayer was for God to move you on to better things and/or a better relationship in the future. I don't know, His ways are higher than ours, but that was my first thought. Also, it is scary to pray to our Higher Power because than we have to turn control of our lives over to something bigger than us. And we all know how we as addicts struggle with the control thing!!!

All that said, glad you are here girl! The more the better on here. This is a great, supportive group on here!

[CD BUCKBERRY]

Christina,Keep trying ,you have proved you can get clean just practice it.Congratulations onyour sixty days clean,thats great,keep it up.You have to get rid of all your old using friends,they will not help,especially if they are stiil active addicts.They will try and get you back.I found all kinds of new friends in N.A.after using for 39 years of my life.Clean addicts have fun and can act out of control just like when we were all messed up on something.Keep Trying,Keep Coming Back It Works If You Want It.