i am new

[barrio]

i am new and lonely. almost 40, have no idea how to start. being in healthy relationship thought that i didn't need any help. but i do need. my father is alcoholic and my mother's a control freak. as a child i was both invisible and angry. i had to leave my native country and start again. feel like a failure every other day. scared to death of almost everything. stuck in one place - self-esteem low as hell, no confidence at all. i do not like to live like that any longer. i am so tired.

[zoomie]

HI Barrio, welcome! A lot of us had rough starts in our lives. With the fellowship we can over come bad feelings about our past. You never have to be alone again!

[Cari]

Barrio, I am new also. I empathize with your past, but YOU CAN have a wonderful future. You deserve more, you can start here with more friends! Anytime that you need to talk, message me. -Cari

[DaveH]

Barrio,
Let me add my welcome also. At work I have a sign up that says "Who you have been is not who you have to be. You are free to change your thinking" I keep that up as a reminder of the freedom that I found in working the twelve steps. I learned that "feeling" like a failure did not make it so.Today I believe that same freedom is available to anyone who will invest their time in working the program. I too know the pain that can come from being raised in an alcoholic home. I also knew the pain in creating an alcoholic home when I followed in my father's footsteps. But it did not stay that way. Please know that if you want it, a change is coming your way too. My prayer for you is that you will embrace that change and start the process. You are worth it. Your post this morning was a great way to start it. Be encouraged my friend, it does not have to stay this way.
Kindest Regards,
Dave H

[thereishope]

Hello bario,
Welcome to CRF, its very nice to meet you.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!
You have all of us here and this is a very friendly and supportative place. I know that wasnt easy to reach out but i am sure glad you did cause now my friend the healing can begin. Please keep on coming back ok cause we need you to. We would all like to wish you many blessings on your journey of recovery and discovery.

[barrio]

dave,your message made me cry. although i know there are millions like me out there i didn't believe anybody noticing my message. so typical. thank you.

[barrio]

Barrio, I am new also. I empathize with your past, but YOU CAN have a wonderful future. You deserve more, you can start here with more friends! Anytime that you need to talk, message me. -Cari

it'd be great cari to be in touch. i so need it.

[Faith92208]

http://www.zwani.com/graphics/welcome/images/welcome30.gif

[Deeters]

Hi Barrio and Cari (well everyone else too!)

I struggled with my alcohol and drug addiction after being raped almost 3 years ago. 12 jurors allowed that boy to go free despite the evidence on my side and the relationship I was in at the time, etc. I was 50 and he was 18. Go figure....

After this happened to me, I felt my Higher Power had abandoned me. I didn't deserve that. The cool thing is, I have so many wonderful things I can share with you or anyone about how everything can work out for the good.

When I first came to this site I was an angry damaged person. I'm still damaged, but a work in progress.

I know, it's tough now while you're lonely and with the other thigns going on, but there is hope.

Keep coming back. People care here.

I love being a work in progress and how people told me like it was in love and others told me like it was in tough love.

Keep coming back.

To everyone have a wonderful day!

Dee

[MrSoul1970]

Dee, that is a horrendous story, thank you for sharing. No criminals IMO are worse thern rapists or pedofiles..( which go hand in hand).I'm glad that you were strong enough with the help of your HP to get through this. I knwo its wrong to say, but I hope that that ,well I'll call him a 'boy' only because you did, gets His due in this life. We all know he will certainly gets his in the afterlife.
-----------------------

barrio, i continue to struggle,although i'm better, but regardless..i know the feeling of being ''so tired" of feeling the shackles of abuse. I beleive this place has helpd me, keep coming back and i hope u get/feel better.

PEACE.

[barrio]

Hi Barrio and Cari (well everyone else too!)

I struggled with my alcohol and drug addiction after being raped almost 3 years ago. 12 jurors allowed that boy to go free despite the evidence on my side and the relationship I was in at the time, etc. I was 50 and he was 18. Go figure....

After this happened to me, I felt my Higher Power had abandoned me. I didn't deserve that. The cool thing is, I have so many wonderful things I can share with you or anyone about how everything can work out for the good.

When I first came to this site I was an angry damaged person. I'm still damaged, but a work in progress.

I know, it's tough now while you're lonely and with the other thigns going on, but there is hope.

Keep coming back. People care here.

I love being a work in progress and how people told me like it was in love and others told me like it was in tough love.

Keep coming back.

To everyone have a wonderful day!

Dee



dee, i cannot find any words to describe my feelings after reading your message. and my admiration how strong person you have to be. i'm sending you the warmest smile i have ever could show to anybody.

[barrio]

dee, i cannot find any words to describe my feelings after reading your message. and my admiration how strong person you have to be. i'm sending you the warmest smile i have ever could show to anybody

[Camel]

Welcome to the forum... keep coming back, it works if you work it.

Coffee anyone?

http://antiquesandthearts.com/Archives/2006/08-August/Images/2006-08-15-09-29-55Image5.GIF

Camel

[Tom1]

Barrio, welcome to the forum. I am new like you to dealing with these struggles but know with God and the help of others we can overcome. There are members on this site that truly are God's servants.
I agree with Mr. Soul as well regarding Dee. I simply do not know nor can I even imagine going through that. As a husband and father, I have wondered how people find the strength to get through that. I do not know how one shows restraint. I have pictured my reaction if something like that ever happened to my wife or child (now in HS) and must admit that it is scary that I am even capable of thinking the thoughts of what I would do to that person and the amount of suffering I would want to inflict.Mr Soul, however, is right. Vengeance will be of the Lord. Dee's story also (although not intended) makes me feel so much worse about the reasons I drink. I am so weak that it takes something like "I'm a bit down today" or "stress at work" etc...My prayers go out to all who have suffered. Have a Good Friday everyone, Tom

[Stogi]

Hey Barrio, glad to have you here with us. Man,I remember those exact same feelings like it was yesterday though it was seven years ago. I didn't know where I was headed, had made mess of things with my addictions. Sared to death the first time I walked into that AA room. Didn't know what to say , or if I even should. I was worn to a nub by the life I had lived. I felt alone in my self. But I found friends in those rooms. I found I could open up and let it go. I found my Higher Power that has made my life new.I didn't have to carry it anymore. That trash from my past I could give to him. I found all that life was meant to be, step by step.

[Midas]

Welcome, Barrio! Don't give up!