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[sagrada]

I am new...I am 36 and 6 months ago left my wife who loves me more than anything in the world. I was unable to love her back. It's not that I was not in love with her, I just stopped loving. I stopped feeling. I went to several Alanon meetings and saw a marriage counselor but in reality I have been in denial for the last few months, it wasn't until I looked at our wedding pictures two days ago that I broke down and cried. I am the child of an alcoholic and I need help. I have hurt so many people that have loved me throughout my life by simply walking away from them. I don't do drugs and am very successful at work but feel so empty much of the time...I know I need to work on my emotional issues to ever have a chance at having a normal relationship. I know the process takes time and today I feel my journey begins...

[zoomie]

I just wanted to say hi and welcome.

[Stogi]

I would be lieing if I said I have not had the same feelings. I would suggest that you go back to the women you say loves you more than anything in this world , take her hand, and make this journey together. You'll be amazed at what Ya'll can accomplish together. It took me a while to realize my marriage wasn't just about me finding someone to spend my life with, It was about both of us having found eachother.

[Doraine]

How lucky you are to have someone who loves you! I ended a relationship in early sobriety. To this day I regret my decision. He wanted to marry me but I broke out in a cold sweat at the thought of marriage. I had been in an abusive marriage for 13 years. My life might have turned out differently if I had married.

[sagrada]

Thank you so much...I so do want to go back and take her by the hand. I know she's slipping away, I'm just so scared to hurt her more if I can't somehow change...I'm devastated.

[Camel]

Hi Sagrada, Hang in there... Alanon is a great program, you will know what to do. Work the steps, talk to your sponsor. The most important thing for you to do is fix yourself. First things first.

Camel

[Stogi]

Thank you so much...I so do want to go back and take her by the hand. I know she's slipping away, I'm just so scared to hurt her more if I can't somehow change...I'm devastated.

You are very welcome..... Why don't you try sharing with her , if you haven't already, what you have shared with us. It took me a long time to figure out a woman loves for us to confide in them.. to them it's one way we show we really love them.:42: I can tell you know in your heart where you belong. God did not bring you together for you to pull apart.

[sagrada]

I thank you so much for the replies.. I have self sabotaged my life and relationships. I wonder if I am meant to be alone. I so hope not. I think the last two days were the first that I have cried in a long time, the saddest part is I'm still unsure WHY I was crying, was it because of guilt of hurting another person, the realization that I may have lost a great love, or was it me coming to grip with the fact that I am not ok and need to stop the cycle... Whatever it was I'm grateful that some emotions finally came out of me. I will be at Alanon tomorrow. I have also sent my wife a copy of what I wrote thanks to your advice. This board has made me realize I'm not alone and that others can be so compasionate. Thank you all.

[Stogi]

:42::42::42: