Reflections for Everyday of the Year - May

[janbear]

James Says:
It has been 24 years since my last drink. A wise old timer told me his story as I layed in my bed in the intensive care unit of a large metropolitan hospital. An auto accident caused by my drinking was the reason for my being there. He said, "Jim, listen to what I say and you will never have to feel this way again." I hung on to those words and still do today. Keeping it green helps me to remember the bad times and what I was doing to make them go from bad to worse.

[janbear]

Kathleen Says:
For me, alcohol gave me something I needed but it quit working. The depression and feelings of lonliness and craziness became too much and I knew I would/will die if I continue to drink. First, I had to get honest and sober. This was not easy to admit to. I lied about my drinking and others did not want to believe I had a problem. When I went to my first meeting it was a relief. Hiding and lying is hard work.

[janbear]

Lyssa Says:
One of the best parts about the AA program for me has been the realization that I don't have to have "all" of the answers. I always felt that I had to be the one to figure things out or make them right - trying to make everyone happy I guess. Today I can be free from all of that because I know that it's okay to say "I don't know."

[janbear]

Brenda Y. Says:
All I ever knew was the bar clan, they were my friends, my confidence, my life! But when events led to a life of soberity I found that those people where not my friends, where not my confidence, and that I could no longer relate to them! I no longer had to drink, because it was Friday, or a event, which I surely could always make one for any day, I found my friends were truly my AA group, they had bits and pieces of my same story in life, we share, we cry, we know!

[janbear]

Beth J. Says:
Since becoming sober, I have a new home, my daughter, and am enrolled in a medical program which requires a lot of work! It is easy to become overwhelmed and lay the basics aside. I must remember that it is my sobriety that is allowing me to enjoy these achievements and that without daily maintenance (meetings, prayer, reading, contact with sponsor) I fall susceptible to returning to the hellish life that I was leading prior to my becoming sober in AA.

[janbear]

Lolly Says:
After a long stuggle to get back I did, at the age of 19 I came back to NA and started working the steps, sharing what was REALLY going on for me, doing service and connecting with a sponser. This stuff really works, I have just started to make amends and what a gift it is to be able to sit with my father and aknowledge my wrongs, and see the light come back into his eyes as well as my own.

[janbear]

Beth J. Says:
After being sober in Alcoholics Anoymous for a little over a year I understand what is meant when people say that they don't have to go back out and drink again because other people do it for them. I haven't yet heard an alcoholic come in after a slip and say "Man, that was great!" They always, without fail return miserable and beaten and they let me know that it's not gotten any better out there.

[janbear]

Steve R. Says:
A mistake often made is the misperception that just abstaining from our substance of choice is enough to get into and stay in recovery. This is a mistake that could end up being fatal. There are problems that underlie substance abuse, and unless we learn to recognize and address those underlying problems, we are not truly progressing in our recovery. I've found 12-step recovery fellowships and working the steps to be invaluable in this process.

[janbear]

Nenna Says:
For me self-pity is dangerous. If I let my self sink into it too long I will end up drinking again. My sponsor used to say, "Okay, so you are sorry for yourself and that is allowed - for about 15 minutes. Then sit down and write a gratitude list."

[janbear]

Betty Ann Says:
I sometimes go about a debate of what God's will for me is, and during one of these mental triathalons I prayed in all sincerity for him to enlighten me. I paused and what came in meditation was: When you can process where you've been, acknowledge and own your part, and then move on, you're in God's will. It helps me alot to remember that, when I am living my program that I am in God's will.

[janbear]

Legal Eagle Says:
Today, I am truly grateful to the program and the support groups, including my dear family who provided me with all the help that I desperately needed. I have learned that we can overcome almost any obstacle just by living a sober life and helping others. I didn't always feel this way, but have come a long way. My family and friends have truly gained the real me back again and can count on me to be there for them.

[janbear]

Ariel Z. Says:
Being in a sober marriage is not always easy. I think the hardest lessons have been learning to share responsibility instead of making all the decisions myself and learning to accept criticism, getting down off my pedestal.

[janbear]

Mazie Says:
When I was drinking I did not care about anyone or anything. Now I help everyone that I can. It sure beats laying on the railroad tracks telling the conductor he was on the wrong track. Now I know I am on the right track. God Bless AA and your support.

[janbear]

I can relate to this not caring about anything or anyone in my addiction. Sad thing is i have passed through times even in recovery that i was apathetic towards other. My last relapse in '96 was directly related to this. I am stopped caring. Today, i notice when i even start feeling that way and almost always start immediately doing something for another. That will pull me out faster than anything. Just wanted to share on that one.

[janbear]

May 17

Until I got busy with my own recovery I was in no shape for a healthy relationship with anyone, including myself. I had to get past all the hurts and disappointments and low-self-esteem feelings. I got to the point when I decided enough was enough! I couldn't survive in a loveless relationship any longer.

[janbear]

Seabreeze Says:
'The Suffering Alcoholic' can look strong, and have many good days in the fellowship, but we can only get our daily reprieve from our madness if we believe the people who have been before us with all our hearts. I am sure any meeting good or difficult will make you better after the meeting than before. Thanks for helping me to have more good days than bad since I came into the fellowship.

[janbear]

James Says:
People ask me, "What is so great about sobriety?" I tell them, "Getting up in the morning." Why? Because when I get up in the morning, I'm not hung over or worried about what I might have done the night before. We hear the expression, "Beyond my wildest dreams." Well, I don't have things beyond my wildest dreams. However, I get what I get, and I'm happy with what I got.

[janbear]

Penny Says:
For various reasons I have not been able to attend Al-Anon meetings for the last two months or so. It shows. Even my 16 year old is trying to force me out the door and telling me to get to a meeting. It seems that my changed attitude does affect those around me. I will attend the very next meeting in my area and start the healing process again

[janbear]

Penny Says:
For various reasons I have not been able to attend Al-Anon meetings for the last two months or so. It shows. Even my 16 year old is trying to force me out the door and telling me to get to a meeting. It seems that my changed attitude does affect those around me. I will attend the very next meeting in my area and start the healing process again.

[janbear]

oops, here is the right day. Sorry about that folks.

Patricia T. Says:
Alcoholism is powerful. I had a car accident and physically died twice. Somehow they brought me back, but I lost 10 years of memory, forgot I was divorced after 21 years of marriage, forgot both of my parents had died and I attended their funerals, forgot I smoked cigerettes, but I sure didn't forget I wanted ANOTHER drink. The insanity is overwhelming. I am approaching my four-year sobriety date, one day at a time.

[janbear]

Darin G. Says:
I have the unique opportunity to answer the question "what would I do different if I had it to do all over again?" In sobriety I AM doing it all over again. Re-defining my career, my education, my goals, likes, dislikes, interests, motivations, personality, friends and friendships. Fourteen years late, thousands of dollars short, I finally get it. Life is a festival, nothing of value comes at a lesser price.

[janbear]

Michael B. Says:
I've been three years sober now to think about all the meaningful missed opportunities I blew for the opportunity to get loaded. But, I somehow managed to keep my employ of 30 years and a super-wife who, lived through that war and refused to give up on me. No "thank you" could be big enough for all that. Growing old is mandatory, thank heavens the growing up element waited for silly me.

[janbear]

Debra G. Says:
After spending the last eight months away from the alcoholic in my life, I still struggle in moments of loneliness to remain strong and confident that I am making better choices, no matter how difficult they feel. I love my Just For Today goals, they remind me what small steps can do to achieve larger goals in daily life. I can now live most days not beating myself up if I don't achieve everything that has to be done.

[janbear]

Jessie Z. Says:
I often get caught up thinking about the past or the future - things I have no control over. When I allow myself to do this, I waste this moment that my Higher Power has allowed me to have right now. When I let myself live in the current moment I can enjoy life in a way that I never imagined possible.

[janbear]

Gail U. Says:
It seems that the longer I hang around here and don't use, the more I am aware of my character defects. Today, I am at the point where I can no longer manipulate the people in my life for my own selfishness. I am feeling and behaving like a grown-up. I am a grateful recovering addict. This program has provided me the tools to have a life worth living.

[janbear]

Gail U. Says:
It seems that the longer I hang around here and don't use, the more I am aware of my character defects. Today, I am at the point where I can no longer manipulate the people in my life for my own selfishness. I am feeling and behaving like a grown-up. I am a grateful recovering addict. This program has provided me the tools to have a life worth living.

[janbear]

Betty Ann Says:
As I have continually heard in meetings, feelings are not facts they change. How I feel on a particular day about an issue is subject to change, so I must always remember that it's okay to feel my feelings and yet I don't have to act on each and every one. When I journal these feelings I own them, and then they no longer affect my thinking and own me.

[janbear]

Edie Says:
Yes indeed, I was brain washed in AA! Thank goodness! My "self talk" was not helpful. It gives new meaning to the phrase "Change your mind, change your life." Life goes on but I've learned new ways to look at it. I've found a comfort range so I can live with myself sober.

[flick]

sorry, cannot find this one so if any one knows where to can they please post it, thank you.

[janbear]

Beth J. Says:
When I was drinking, I forgot how to live. Life consisted of getting booze, drinking it, trying to hide that I was drinking it, and suffering the aftereffects (which I learned to medicate with more alcohol). Today I feel like I am really living. I wake up feeling good (no morning jitters) I can look at and appreciate my surroundings, and I enjoy doing things again. I thank my higher power on a daily basis for freeing me from the bondage of alcohol and allowing me to live again.