Obsession and activities.

[JJJAKINS]

Hello All,
I am having a hard time lately as to how i am going to be able to go do the things i used to love. Drinking used to be my focus point to where all other activities used to work around. Now that i am living a sober life, i am not sure how i can go places that used to symbolize drinking. My birthday was last friday and I have received a gift certificate to an Italian restaurant and thought it would be nice to go there, BUT i cant get the darn obsession of drinking while i'm there out of my head. I realize i should avoid such places that may put my sobriety in jeopardy, but at the same time i am unaware of how long i could have to miss out on life outside of my lock and key. It gets pretty lonely when i am changing past playgrounds and playmates, let alone avoiding any situation that symbolizes drinking in my mind.
Any sharing of similar situations would be great.

[zoomie]

I use to love to drink and do house work no kidding. Once I stopped drinking it was hard for me to get motivated. I go out to places to eat,but only if I have another sober alcoholic with me or people that know I do not drink to keep me safe. You do not have to stop living because you have stopped drinking. If your still unsure, don't go. The certificate should be good for a year,so put it away until your feel sure of yourself. Keep it simple and don't over think the certificate or you'll think yourself right into a drink. You have cravings thats all,so it's time to put the craving into prospective.

[MichelleW]

I was kinda like that too zoomie with the housework and drinking though in the end I was primarily getting wasted, very quickly and then just blacking out.

I have to avoid pubs unless I'm going out to lunch with a friend of mine who doesn't drink and who knows that I'm concerned about my own drinking.

JJJakins, I think that when alcohol has been a part of our lives for a period of time, it can start to blind us to the other opportunities and good things that are out there. I know that after a few weeks sober I start to get a new appreciation of the little, simple things again. I've relapsed recently because I feel kind of isolated, but I'm working on getting the right supports in place. Good luck.

[Victoriana]

I'm kind of where you are and I have just decided that if I do go out I'll be the designated driver a drink soft drinks. I will not, however, go out in groups that have the sole purpose of getting drunk. If they are just going for a nice meal and to have fun, that is fine. I think it does help if you have someone with you that doesn't drink for whatever reason. I now take a pregnant friend of mine everywhere with me. I swear, she has never had so many lunches and days out. She is loving the social life and I am loving being sober.
As Zoomie said, the certificate should last for a while so go somewhere different for your birthday. I went paintballing on mine and had a blast (although it wasn't during a sober time and I got drunk afterwards, don't do that.) with friends. Another time I went absailing. Trust me, you can't do that drunk. Just try something you haven't done before.
Have a great, sober birthday and let us know how it went.

[DaveH]

Been there too. A major concern of mine in the beginning was what would I do for fun. Everything I did up to that time was either centered around drinking or drinking was a major sideline of the activity. Whether it was bowling, fishing, boating, attending NFL and MLB games, parties, family get togethers, vacations, etc. etc. My life had been so screwed up by the drinking that I was hesitant to do anything I used to do because I wanted so much to be sober. And I knew that some of those activities would be triggers for me. Fortunately, my sponsor liked to do many of those things too and as silly as it sounds, he taught me how to do those things sober. And have fun doing them. I soon recognized that I had no idea how to do much of anything sober. Along the way I discovered that some of the things I used to do really were not that much fun for me and I found other activities that I enjoyed more. The only thing I chose to stay away from for years was attending NFL games. You have probably seen the idiot at games who gets drunk, loud, and vulgar.....unfortunately I was one of those. And I had no interest in returning to that so I stayed away. The good news today is that I do attend every NFL home game in my city and will even tailgate upon occasion. Today God does do for me what I could not do for myself. So be encouraged, your life will change in ways you cannot imagine. Keep coming back, it gets better and better.......
Regards,
Dave H

[sonia n]

Let me share about when I first got clean and sober 9 years ago. I would not go to anyplace that serves ALCOHOL and NO I did not stop living and enjoying myself clean and sober. I do not go to bars or any restaurant where their is alcohol sold especially if I am there and craving it.. it does not necessarily mean that when you leave that restaurant you would not pick up especially if you can't control the thought or craving. I still do not go to liqour stores or restaurants that are pubs as well cause I know myself and I know what I am capable of... All it takes is a second.. If you feel confident that you can handle this honestly then just go there with other recovering people, but if you DON"T then stay away... I have always heard stay away from people, places and things.

GOOD TOPIC You know what you are capable of and as long as your honest with yourself you will be fine.. BLESS YOU!!! TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE!!! never forget that:wink: