Need Help

[KathyB777]

Hi Everyone,

A little history: 13 years ago I had back surgery for L4-5 ruptured disk. Same surgery 1 year later for same.

I currently have bulging/herniated disks in my neck & lower back, but can "deal with it" without meds as my life is no longer functional on all the medication!

Last month my pain management doctor added 1 more prescription to my list (sleep medication) that put me over the edge and I said ENOUGH as I became suicidal.

At that point I was taking the following:
40mg Opana ER at night (morphine)
2 to 3 Soma's or Valium's at night (depending on the prescription that month as my body was becoming immune to them and not working)
30mg oxycodone 5 times a day
sleeping pill (Valium derivative that made me suicidal)

I am now down to taking 15mg oxycodone 3 times a day.
Valium or soma to help me sleep or 1/2 a Valium if I get anxious etc. during the day.
I am sick, but not as sick if I would have done this cold turkey. It seems that if I exert myself I get sick and am incapacitated for 2 to 3 days and have no energy.
My "mom" does not get it and will come over and pretty much act like its a mind over matter deal and I will be made to mow the yard or some huge physical exercise that wipes me out. :8:

I am doing this on my own, and self-detoxing.
Is it normal for me to be so wiped out physically and so lethargic??
I am only 1 month into this and have stopped almost all the meds except the 1's I mentioned I am still taking. So...I think I am doing pretty good. I was planning on going from 15mg to 7mg this week, but I have had to mow the yard twice in 1 week and it kicked my butt!!!!!!

I'm frustrated!!! I am so excited to get "myself" back but get so frustrated when I am treated like I'm lazy and just wanna lay around!!! :mad:

I am 43, have my own business, just went through bankruptcy, moved back to my home state and am doing the detox on my own..... a lot going on.

Please tell me that the lack of energy/motivation/tiredness is normal???

Thanks in advance for your replies as I am so frustrated! "mom" is coming over again today and it's like being in hell!

Kathy

[shydawg]

Hi Kathy , welcome to CRF, congrats . on taking that very big step in the right direction towards getting yoursels well.. Your doing a greaT Job !! it takes a lot of courage & determination .. recovery is worth it & you are worth recovery !!! yea , those are normal reactions to detoxing off those meds .. its not easy but you can do it!!! so don't give up . stop by the NA section of the forums for more info on meds withdrawls .. keep coming back & posting .. we need you here :-)

[KathyB777]

Hi Kathy , welcome to CRF, congrats . on taking that very big step in the right direction towards getting yoursels well.. Your doing a greaT Job !! it takes a lot of courage & determination .. recovery is worth it & you are worth recovery !!! yea , those are normal reactions to detoxing off those meds .. its not easy but you can do it!!! so don't give up . stop by the NA section of the forums for more info on meds withdrawls .. keep coming back & posting .. we need you here :-)

Thank You for replying to me!!!
I am a recovered meth addict of 14 years, so I have done the detox thing.....but this is definitely different than that for sure as I did that cold turkey and it was another "animal" all together!!! :)
How do I explain to people that I'm not "lazy" or that it's not a mind over matter deal, but I really have NO energy!!!!??? What sucks is that with the exertion comes the next 3 days of being sick and depressed..... How do I get people to "get it" and back up off me?!lol
Also with opiates..... It is normal to be this non-energetic right? I mean even sitting at my computer to work is exhausting.

[shydawg]

Oh Yeah ,, sure is normal, gets much worse than that if you do the "cold turkey " detox . the slight taper works best if you could do it ..opiates is 1 of my many adictions & I wasnt able to taper off .. I would reccomend that you keep your doctor informed of what you're doing .. tell ppl its part of the process & your getting better .. tell them to back off ..your doing the best you can & if the dont understand & cant . then Thats their problem . not yours ..but they're gonna watch your actions to see if what you say is true or not .. JUST DO THE BEST THAT YOU CAN TODAY !!!..

[shydawg]

Guide To Detox post that was posted in NA
http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=7467&highlight=opiate+withdrawls

[KathyB777]

Oh Yeah ,, sure is normal, gets much worse than that if you do the "cold turkey " detox . the slight taper works best if you could do it ..opiates is 1 of my many adictions & I wasnt able to taper off .. I would reccomend that you keep your doctor informed of what you're doing .. tell ppl its part of the process & your getting better .. tell them to back off ..your doing the best you can & if the dont understand & cant . then Thats their problem . not yours ..but they're gonna watch your actions to see if what you say is true or not .. JUST DO THE BEST THAT YOU CAN TODAY !!!..

Thanks. :smile:
I've been at this a little over a month & most days I feel just like I did when I started, so I'm going to chalk that up to the fact that I am taking hardly any of the meds I was taking and from what the link said, that you gave me.

I told my doctor when I 1st moved here (August 2008) that as long as I am functional and it's working for me I will take the medication but to be ready, because I plan on getting off as soon as I am done with all the strenuous stuff (moving, etc.).

I just filled my prescription on the 14th and told the nurse that the doctor needs to cut the prescription in half (from 30mg to 15mg) as I thought I was going to start taking only 7mg this week.....that didn't happen. BUT....I am definitely talking to my doctor about it all. Plus he is easy to talk to.

I could have easily gone cold turkey 6 years ago when I started pain management and was on 5mg loritabs, but this has turned into a monster!LOL A few days of icky from loritabs does not compare to what I can only imagine what it would be like to go cold turkey off all the stuff I was taking, but I just keep patting myself on the back (depressed, tired and all) that I am only taking 45mg a day compared to 190mg a day of narcotics! :smile:
Yesterday was a catalyst for me, when I was blown off and told basically to "cowboy up" and "your fine, the lawn needs to be mowed", and I almost couldn't take it....hence finding this site to talk to people who GET what I'm going through!!!

I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me because I "almost" gave in! I'm sick & tired of being sick & tired to be perfectly honest with ya.lol

Thank You Again!!!!!!!

[shydawg]

"gave in" as in saying 'screw it" & going back on on the meds??? you dont want to do that .. your 1/2 way there .. you can do this .. if you stop now youll have to start all over again . I can relate to that sick & tired feeling ..once I got over those wd's I started going to NA meetings . stayed in contact with others who I could relate to who could help me when some times I had those thoughts about using again. I was here often reaching out to others . telling on myself if i had to . anything just not to use for that day . we're here for each other . that's what's great about ppl in recovery . we all could relate to each other so we're more than willing to help each other out . so hang in there .. your doing good .. never give up .!!!

[KathyB777]

"gave in" as in saying 'screw it" & going back on on the meds??? you dont want to do that .. your 1/2 way there .. you can do this .. if you stop now youll have to start all over again . I can relate to that sick & tired feeling ..once I got over those wd's I started going to NA meetings . stayed in contact with others who I could relate to who could help me when some times I had those thoughts about using again. I was here often reaching out to others . telling on myself if i had to . anything just not to use for that day . we're here for each other . that's what's great about ppl in recovery . we all could relate to each other so we're more than willing to help each other out . so hang in there .. your doing good .. never give up .!!!

Almost....but I've come this far and God will NOT let me give up or give up on me..... :29:
I'm almost there, so it would be pretty stupid to have to start all over! :smile:
Thanks for listening!
Kathy

[zoomie]

Hi and welcome. I don't know much about the meds your on,but great going in trying to stop!

[Victoriana]

Don't give up now. You are almost there.
Check your diet is as it should be. You are going through a lot and your body needs all the help it can get.
Are you going to NA meetings? There is a wealth of knowledge, support and understanding to be had there and NOBODY will tell you to "cowboy up". Ignore those that don't understand and put yourself first for now.
Please keep posting here and be strong. You have us with you and the people here are wonderful. We know what you are going through. Look after your mind and your body.

[Victoriana]

Don't give up now. You are almost there.
Check your diet is as it should be. You are going through a lot and your body needs all the help it can get.
Are you going to NA meetings? There is a wealth of knowledge, support and understanding to be had there and NOBODY will tell you to "cowboy up". Ignore those that don't understand and put yourself first for now.
Please keep posting here and be strong. You have us with you and the people here are wonderful. We know what you are going through. Look after your mind and your body.

[zoomie]

Good morning!

[KathyB777]

Don't give up now. You are almost there.
Check your diet is as it should be. You are going through a lot and your body needs all the help it can get.
Are you going to NA meetings? There is a wealth of knowledge, support and understanding to be had there and NOBODY will tell you to "cowboy up". Ignore those that don't understand and put yourself first for now.
Please keep posting here and be strong. You have us with you and the people here are wonderful. We know what you are going through. Look after your mind and your body.

Thank You!
O...I've come too far to give up! :smile:
Plus since I have done the detox thing cold turkey no less,(14 years ago from Meth), I have made a decision to get off the meds, so once I FINALLY make that decision, I will not quit until I'm off them all!
I went down to 1 Valium for sleep last night, and slept fairly well, so that makes me VERY happy! :29:
Thank for all the support from all of you!!!
xo's
Kathy

[KathyB777]

Good morning!

Good Morning!!!
I have an appt at 1:30 (central time) to see a Hoy Chi practitioner and am VERY excited!!! I cannot WAIT as he says that he will be able to help me with the withdrawals, energy level, etc. So I am looking forward to our appointment. :smile:

Hope your day is Blessed & FULL of God's peace and Joy!!!
Kathy

[KathyB777]

Don't give up now. You are almost there.
Check your diet is as it should be. You are going through a lot and your body needs all the help it can get.
Are you going to NA meetings? There is a wealth of knowledge, support and understanding to be had there and NOBODY will tell you to "cowboy up". Ignore those that don't understand and put yourself first for now.
Please keep posting here and be strong. You have us with you and the people here are wonderful. We know what you are going through. Look after your mind and your body.

Whelp...I can't say my diet is too great. I am not making much money yet, just moved back here and really do not have much energy to work, so I do the best I can as far as food. I was on a cleanse a few months ago and that helped!!
Kathy

[shydawg]

stay strong .!!! did you say you were staying w/ your mom?? & is she supporting what your doing ?? can she maybe hold your meds for you & maybe help with the tapering process..maybe sit down & write out a detailed plan that she she can follow .how much & at what times she can give them to ya . & no more than that .. takes away the temptation ... we have to do that sometimes with our sponsors when we're given meds after surgery etc. just makes things easier .. i wouldnt do a "cold turkey" cutt off of the Benzos either , wd's from those can be pretty wicked too . so continue on with the slow taper . keep your doc informed . & KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK YOUR DOING GREAT!!!!

[KathyB777]

stay strong .!!! did you say you were staying w/ your mom?? & is she supporting what your doing ?? can she maybe hold your meds for you & maybe help with the tapering process..maybe sit down & write out a detailed plan that she she can follow .how much & at what times she can give them to ya . & no more than that .. takes away the temptation ... we have to do that sometimes with our sponsors when we're given meds after surgery etc. just makes things easier .. i wouldnt do a "cold turkey" cutt off of the Benzos either , wd's from those can be pretty wicked too . so continue on with the slow taper . keep your doc informed . & KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK YOUR DOING GREAT!!!!

Thanks!
I have only taken 15mg today so far. I just got back from seeing my friend who is a Hoy Chi Practitioner & feel great! I'm not sweating the urge or temptation as I've come this far with no help. :wink:
I am thinking of going cold turkey as it's been 7 hours since I took anything and am feeling pretty okay!!! IF I feel like I can't I have decided that I will be dropping down to 5mg today. :smile:
If I can go cold turkey off Meth, while being around it and in my face (was with the 1% biker crowd back then), I can do this!!!
Kathy

[zoomie]

Hurray 7 hours with out meds!!! Thats wonderful!

[shydawg]

Thats great that you want to totally quit & are confident . but there are big differences between quitting the meds your taking & crystal meth .or crank . your body creates a physical dependacy to the meds & when ya go cold turkey the wd's can be quite unpleasant . no fun at all . enough to make you say "screw it " & reach back for the meds just to feel better again ... that doesn happen with the meth wd's . so becareful is all I'm saying . (I've been there) do the best you can today !!!
remember you're not alone :-)

[KathyB777]

Thats great that you want to totally quit & are confident . but there are big differences between quitting the meds your taking & crystal meth .or crank . your body creates a physical dependacy to the meds & when ya go cold turkey the wd's can be quite unpleasant . no fun at all . enough to make you say "screw it " & reach back for the meds just to feel better again ... that doesn happen with the meth wd's . so becareful is all I'm saying . (I've been there) do the best you can today !!!
remember you're not alone :-)

Okay. :)
SO.........That is why I have been weaning myself off and not going cold turkey. I have not taken any meds since yesterday morning at 8:30am. No oxy since then. Had to take valium to get to sleep, but other than that, that was it. :)
Hoping that the amount I was taking was low enough to "handle" the withdrawals....if not I will take 5mg.

[Chewi]

I do not know about these meds, but I just want to tell you to keep trying and keep up the good work. I hope you keep seeking out help and find the help and support you need!:D

[KathyB777]

Thats great that you want to totally quit & are confident . but there are big differences between quitting the meds your taking & crystal meth .or crank . your body creates a physical dependacy to the meds & when ya go cold turkey the wd's can be quite unpleasant . no fun at all . enough to make you say "screw it " & reach back for the meds just to feel better again ... that doesn happen with the meth wd's . so becareful is all I'm saying . (I've been there) do the best you can today !!!
remember you're not alone :-)

UGH.......I'm There! Help!
VERY sick to my stomach, diarrhea, cold, then hot....I've never had the flu, so I am guessing this is what the flu is like??????? What can I do to ease this OTHER than taking a 7mg dose?????? This sucks!!!!! :8:

[zoomie]

If you get too sick make sure to call the doctor. Other than that drink tea with sugar, lots of water and rest. (((((((((((big hugs to you))))))))))))

[KathyB777]

If you get too sick make sure to call the doctor. Other than that drink tea with sugar, lots of water and rest. (((((((((((big hugs to you))))))))))))

Calling my pain management doctor would be like callin the enemy!!!!lololol
Thanks 4 the tips!!! (((((((((((big hugs back at ya))))))))))))

[zoomie]

LOL, stay strong girlfriend!

[shydawg]

yeppers ..you'll feel lousy for little while but it will get better . . hot baths help with the cold flashes .. drink lots of water . IF ya can keep it down ... immodium for the "runs" . some vitamins. & try to get some sleep when ya can .. what I've heard is that the wd's effects are just the opposite as the effect the meds have .. by going back to full strength on meds will just ruin everything you worked so hard on ... if you have to try alittle bit of the valium to help sleep but try to stay away from the opiates . youve come along way & you can do this .. so hang in there just remember WhY you're doing this .once this is done youll never ever have to go this this again .. .. KEEP UP UP DATED ON HOW YOUR DOING . HNG IN THERE .

[KathyB777]

yeppers ..you'll feel lousy for little while but it will get better . . hot baths help with the cold flashes .. drink lots of water . IF ya can keep it down ... immodium for the "runs" . some vitamins. & try to get some sleep when ya can .. what I've heard is that the wd's effects are just the opposite as the effect the meds have .. by going back to full strength on meds will just ruin everything you worked so hard on ... if you have to try alittle bit of the valium to help sleep but try to stay away from the opiates . youve come along way & you can do this .. so hang in there just remember WhY you're doing this .once this is done youll never ever have to go this this again .. .. KEEP UP UP DATED ON HOW YOUR DOING . HNG IN THERE .

WooooooooooooHooooooooooooo.....I'm calling this day 3!lol
2 days ago I took one 15mg oxycodone at 8am...that was the last time I took any! :29: Yesterday was ROUGH, so I am praying today will be easier! I remember it took about 3 days when I would stop taking loritabs, so hopefully the worst is over??lol
Thank you for keeping in touch with me.... You guys are the only 1's who get it. I wish I could just go to sleep and stay asleep for 4 days....remember when you could do that when you were a teenager?LOLOLOL But that isn't going to fly, so now my prayers is I am praying that today is a much better day on the detox thing and I am almost done! :wink:

[KathyB777]

Forgot to mention...... I was just too sick to do ANYTHING yesterday, much less go get vitamins or anything else for that matter.lol

Today I pray is a better day to the Glory of God!

[zoomie]

Hurray, what a strong person you are and with God's help anything is possible!

[KathyB777]

Hurray, what a strong person you are and with God's help anything is possible!

Amen.....Jesus gets all the Glroy on this one, because I couldn't do this without HIM!!!!!!

Just went and bought some pepto.....hoping that will settle my stomach. :smile: