more Language of letting go for June

[shadowlady861]

Learn to say relax

In skydiving, there is a position called the arch. It is a body position where the body is specifically arched from the neck down. The theory behind this is that gravity always works, and if the hips are arched, the sky diver will fall facedown toward the earth in a balanced, stable body position.

The trick to this body position is that it must be maintained in a relaxed way. If the sky diver doesn't relax enough, the body will bounce around, maybe even flop over. Or, legs and arms won't be in the right position, and the sky diver may start spinning out of control.

It is a deliberate, assertive, yet relaxed posture. It's a place sky divers call "home."

"You have to practice your arch," my jump master had instructed. "And you have to learn to relax."

"How," I said quietly and sincerely, "do you expect me to relax when I'm falling through the air at 120 miles an hour to my certain death if everything doesn't work out right?"

"Practice," he said. "Get out of your head and let your body remember how it feels."

During free fall, I was stable. I grinned at my instructor. This was fun. Then for a second, I tensed up. I started wobbling through the air, feeling like I was out of control. Finally, I took a deep breath and let myself relax.

There it was again. I had finally found home.

Whether we're chasing our dreams, trying to let go of a relationship, trying to raise our family, trying to get to know ourselves better, recovering from a dependency, healing from a loss, or just plain going about our lives, we can find that place called "home," too-- even when it feels like we're falling to the ground at 120 miles an hour.

Part of the language of letting go is learning to say relax.


God, teach me to relax inside, even when it feels like the last possible thing I can do.

[shadowlady861]

Practice peace

I think that change often slips in when we're relaxed inside of ourselves.
--Sark

Relax. Calm yourself down. Breathe consciously.

You don't have to take a nap to relax, but sometimes it helps. So does taking a hot shower, walking through a forest, wading in a stream, drinking a cup of tea, going for a swim, watching a movie, listening to music, saying a prayer, meditating, getting a back rub, looking at the moon, or hearing a good joke.

Become conscious of how your body feels when you're relaxed inside. How do you stand, walk, sit, breathe?

Become conscious of how you feel and what you think when you're relaxed. It's almost like nothingness, only you're awake and aware. There are no angry thoughts and feelings. No frightened thoughts and feelings.

Practice relaxing until you can take that relaxed feeling with you no matter where you go or what you're doing.

When's a good time to relax? When you can't do anything about whatever's bothering you. When you're afraid. When you're certain that you have to do something, but you don't know what that something is. When you're meeting someone for the first time, obsessing, feeling guilty, grieving, feeling lonely, telling someone how you feel, balancing your check book, falling in love, getting a divorce, climbing a mountain, or learning to do something new.

When you practice relaxing inside, you're practicing peace.

Practice peace until you can do it perfectly.


God, help me learn to consciously relax inside of myself.

[shadowlady861]

Say relax when you start to worry

Sometimes we tire ourselves out before we have even begun. We struggle and wrestle with our spirit before finally consenting, giving in, and deciding to walk our path. Then when we start, we wonder why we're so tired.

Why do these things happen to me? What will happen if I try this idea? Where will I go if she leaves me? How will I live without him? What if I don't do it right? What if?

The path is sometimes uphill. Walk up the hill. Sometimes we have to go around an obstacle. Go around it. When we spend time and energy fussing, complaining, and questioning the road before us, we rob energy from ourselves-- energy that could be better spent on the journey.

Relax. Accept the path before you. A flat path would be boring. If we could see all the way to the end of the road from where we are standing, then what would be the point of walking it? Quit fighting the journey and start enjoying it.


God, keep me from the exhausting practice of worry and resentment. Let me trust in you and the universe.

[shadowlady861]

Stop trying so hard

Stop trying to force and make things happen. Don't you see that by pushing so hard, your sabotaging yourself?

There;s another way, a better way.

Surrender-- not to the way you want things to be, but to the way things are, right now. Sometimes that means we surrender to loneliness, defeat, confusion, and helplessness. Sometimes that means we don't get what we want today. Instead we get what we have today.

We're not in control of many things and circumstances in this world. By forcing thngs, we often disconnect from our true power, instead of aligning with it.

Maybe something has to happen first, before you can get what you want or do what you want. Maybe there's an important lesson you're trying to skip. Maybe it's not time. Stop trying so hard to push and force, to make it happen. Stop trying to do the impossible, and instead do what you can do-- surrender to the way things are.

Then watch how naturally the impossible falls into place.


God, help me stop trying so hard to force things into place. Help me remember that all is well.

[shadowlady861]

You don't have to exert that much control

"Hey Killer, how about relaxing the old death grip there."

Why did he always say that? Probably because I always got nervous and held the yoke too tightly. Rob, my flight instructor, was teaching me basic maneuvers in the little Cessna 172 trainer again. He wanted me to put the plane into a steep turn. The only problem was that every time I tried, I felt as though the little plane would fall out of the sky. I know. It's crazy. But knowing didn't help my feeling very much.

"Here, watch this. I have the controls," Rob said. And taking the controls, my instructor put the plane into a sharply banked turn. Then he let go of the yoke. "Aaaaah!" I yelled. Nothing happened. The little airplane kept turning with no further input from anyone. "You see," Rob explained, "when you have the trim settings adjusted right, the airplane will do what you tell it to do. There's no need to force it. Now relax and try again."

I did, and the turn was better this time. Maybe the plane wouldn't fall out of the sky after all. And another small piece of the puzzle got filled in.

There are many things that we can do to keep our lives on course. We can talk to our mentors and sponsors, read positive books, attend support groups, listen to positive music, pray, meditate, work a recovery program if we're in one, and grow. We don't want to become complacent. Safety consciousness is important. But once we have set ourselves on course, it isn't necessary to constantly be worried about falling out of the sky.

Set your plan in motion. Get on the right track. But remember that if saving your life is important, it is also important to have a life worth saving. Relax a little. The plane will keep on flying as long as you give it the right input.


God, grant me the grace to relax, to let go of worry and self-doubt, and to let myself enjoy life and the experiences that it has to offer.

[shadowlady861]

Let go of tension

In Find and use Your Inner Power, author Emmet Fox used the metaphor of trying to force a key into the lock to unlock the door. When we're tense and afraid, Fox explained, we fumble. Sometimes the very key that is the right key doesn't work because we're trying to force it, because we're so tense and uptight.

Relax. See! The less control and force you use, the better.

Maybe the key you've been trying to use all along is the right one.Maybe it was your fear and panic that was keeping you from unlocking the door. Maybe you were trying to force it, after all.

See how easily and naturally things work out when you just simply relax and let go. You will tap into your true power and the power of the universe when you move, love, work, and play from a place of relaxed and calm inner peace.

Move from your center. Let things work out.


God, help me stay serene, confident, and joyful as I go through my day.

[shadowlady861]

You've got all the time you need

If we believe our relationships or jobs are finite situations, then it becomes easy to feel stressed if things don't go the way we planned in the time frame that we expected. The promotion doesn't come in time, and now our careful career plan is off track. And relationship problems become huge, dramatic monsters-- a series of issues-- that eat away every spare minute.

But if we believe that we are living in an infinite time frame, stress begins to dissipate. If I don't get the promotion this week, maybe it will come next month and who knows, I may not even want it by then. Some of those big, monstrous relationship issues just sort themselves out if they're not constantly held under a magnifying glass. And the moments spent with our loved ones become more enjoyable because we're not continually working on the relationship.

When we behave on a finite scale, we can get so wrapped up in the details of a few moments that we cannot free ourselves to enjoy the next moment. When we start living on an infinite plane, it is easier to relax and let the universe carry us down the river, bringing us to all the lessons and joy that we need.


God, help me relax and know that if a situation doesn't come to pass today, eventually it will work itself out. And I've got all the time I need.

[shadowlady861]

Let go of judgements

We can't relax when we're being judgemental. As soon as we decide that a thing or situation is either good or bad, we place ourselves in the situation of having to do something about it. For example, if someone is good, we begin to compare ourselves to that person. Am I better or worse? What can I do to improve? If we decide that a thing is bad, then our conscience tells us that we must try to get rid of it.

Either way we get so busy thinking about our judgements and allowing our minds to create scenarios that we cannot relax and enjoy things the way they are.

Drop your judgemental mind today and relax. If blessings or good people have come into your life, let them be. You do not have to be better or worse than they are.

If a thing is damaging or hurtful to you, you will know that and you can deal with it when the time comes.

Be aware of the people and things in your life. Relax and enjoy them without passing judgement on them.


God, help me learn to enjoy the people and experiences in my life.

[shadowlady861]

Manifest your life

Today, try this activity. Go down to the local hardware store and buy a patio stone. Get one of the nice flat round ones, one that will fit into your briefcase or backpack. Take that patio stone home and look at it. Then take out a marker and start to think about one of your goals that you wrote on the list at the start of the year. Think about all that is keeping you from reaching that goal-- all your fears, excuses, and prerequisites. Each time you think of a reason why you are not walking down that path, write it on the stone in marker. Keep writing until you can't think of another reason.

Then carry the stone with you. You did write down a fear of looking ridiculous, didn't you? Carry the stone to dinner-- hold it in your lap while you eat. Hold it while you watch TV, while you go to the bathroom, in the shower, and even to bed this evening. Tomorrow, spend the day with your stone. Let it be a reminder of both your dream and your fear. Feel how rough, heavy, and cumbersome it is. Makes it kind of difficult to get anything done, doesn't it? Now, at the end of the day, sit down again with your stone. Look at all of your excuses writen there. Make a conscious decision to let them go. Put down the stone-- put it right next to the front door. Feel how much lighter your step is, how much easier it is to do things. Now, as you leave for your day each morning, lookat the stone sitting there on the step-- heavy, rough, cumbersome-- and leave it there. Let life and the elements wear your fears away.

You have dreams, hopes, ambitions. All of your fears and excuses are stones, which fill your hands and weigh you down. Leave them behind. Start to manifest your dreams in your life.


God, help me let go of everything that is blocking me from fully and joyfully living my life today.

[shadowlady861]

Let go of guilt

Guilt is a rock. It lies in the pit of our stomachs and keeps us awake at night. All our muscles work overtime just to carry it around, and yet we still hold on to it.

Yesterday, you stumbled. That was yesterday. But you also righted your wrong and vowed to do better today. So why are you still carrying that guilt around with you?

If you're in recovery, you probably did some terrible things before you got sober. How can you ever move on? But you got sober. You made amends. What happened yesterday belongs to yesterday. Today, you can let go of your guilt and relax in the peace that comes from walking a path with heart.

Have you made a list of people you have harmed and made amends to them, as suggested in the Eighth and Ninth Steps of the Twelve Step programs? That's an excellent way to begin clearing and releasing guilt. If you're not in a Twelve Step program, there are other options. Most religions offer rituals to clear guilt. Sometimes, we've taken all these steps and we still feel guilty. What's wrong? We're hanging on to our guilt, and we're being hard on ourselves.

You will find it easier to relax and flow through the experiences of your life if you let go of the weight of yesterday's guilt.


God, today I give you all of the guilt from my past. Take it from me, and allow me to begin fresh right now. Help me make the amends I need to make, then let my guilt go.

Activity: If you've taken steps to make amends and clear away you legitimate guilt, and your guilt is still haunting your every move, try this: First thing in the mroning and last thing in the evening, look in your mirror. Look yourself in the eye. Then say out loud seven times, "I now release all my guilt, earned and unearned." Try this for a week. See if your guilt doesn't disappear.

[shadowlady861]

Stop defending yourself

Do you walk around wearing a suit of armor? Often, if we were hurt as children or hurt frequently as adults, we put on a suit of emotional armor to protect us from being hurt more. We lower our visor to avoid seeing the pain and block out all hurtful sights. We pick up weapons, sharp words, manipulative behaviors, acting out-- anything to help us defend ourselves against those who would hurt us again. We get used to being in battle and soon all of life is a struggle.

Stop fighting. Yes, you have been hurt. Many of us have. But when you project the characteristics of one person onto everyone you know, you don't allow their true selves to shine through. All you can see is the limited view from your visor.

You are growing and gaining strength every day. You're safe now. Why not put down the weapons for a little while, lift the visor on your suit of armor, and see the people around you for who they are-- mostly kind, good-hearted ordinary people just like you. They have been hurt and healed, they have won and lost. They laugh and they cry. Open up to them, and allow the sharing to begin to heal you and your heart.


God, help me to lower my defenses today, to be open to the good in the people around me and to the good that I have to offer them.

[shadowlady861]

Relaxing will help your work

Joe is a professional chef. He started working in kitchens before he was in his teens. Gradually, he worked his way up from washing dishes until he found himself running a successful catering operation, The only problem was, the more successful the business became, the less time Joe had for the rest of his life. Joe reveled in the knowledge that he was the hardest-working guy he knew. In his mind, the company existed solely because he was there.

Joe was surpirised when his wife left him for someone less successful.

"How could she do that to me?" he moaned to friends. "I worked my tail off so she could have nice things and this is how she repays me?" Then one day while catering a wedding, he realized what had happened. He hadn't been present for his marriage. He had fallen victim to his own success, imprisoned by the company he had created. He took a day off. Then a weekend. Then he trained as assistant to help run the company. It cost him money at the outset, but he discovered life in the process. "I was so busy being success," he says, "that I didn't realize how miserable I was." When he took a vacation to the Southwest, his culinary instincts got the best of him and he spent half of the vacation learning new recipes, but he had fun. "For the first time in years, I was playing in the kitchen again rather than just working," Jos says.

Today Joe has discovered the joy of balance. He no longer feels that he alone must bear the weight of the world, and is stronger for it. His business is growing and he has gotten a reputation as an innovator, largely due to things he has leanred while not in the kitchen. When we're successful, it's difficult to take time away from our work; it feels like the success that we worked so hard for will slip away if we're not there tending to it every moment. The truth is, we get so busy earning a living that we forget to have a life.

Take some time to see if you could spend a little less time at the office and a little more time with yourself and the ones you love. You might be pleasantly surprised at the effect a break can have on your motivation and the joy you have for what you do.


God, teach me-- and help me learn-- to have fun in my life, my work, and my relationships with the people I love.

[shadowlady861]

Relax and flow


I visited the Hoover Dam in Nevada some time ago and marveled at its construction and purpose. Here was a huge structure that had been built into a canyon to harness the power of thousands of tons of moving water.

The water flows through the machinery, and the energy of the moving water is transformed into electricity that powers thousands of homes and businesses. But it wouldn't work if you dammed up a lake, because the water has to be moving for it to have power.

The secret to the power is in the flowing.

How often we try to stifle the flow of events in our lives with control. We think that if we could only get things to go the way we want, then everything would be all right. We take the energy of the universe and bottle it up. And we kill its energy.

Let go of control.

Let the energy of life flow through and around you. You can learn to direct the flow, but you don't need to control it. Become open to the energy that is flowing around you, and rather than trying to bottle it up, let it flow. Energy is useful only when it is flowing.

Relax and go with the flow of the universe. You'll be better able to harness its power.


God, help me let go of my need to control. Help me let go of my fear.

[shadowlady861]

Your attitude is contagious

"I like skydiving with Todd," Pat said. "He's got such a good attitude. When you're in the air with him, no matter what happens, you just get the feeling that everything's okay."

Being relaxed is contagious. Just as someone who's miserable, frightened, and negative can affect the people around him or her, being relaxed, clear, and humbly confident can affect the people we touch, too. Have you ever known anyone like that-- someone with a sense of humor, someone who's surrendered, full of joy, and at peace with himself or herself? This is someone who not only knows things are going to be okay-- that person knows things are okay now.

Today, if you are going to spread anything, let it be joy and goodwill.


God, help me lighten up. Make my joy contagious.

Activity: Today, watch yourself as you go through your day. If you were a neutral observer of yourself, how would you describe yourself? What words would you use? Which words would you like to use to describe yourself? Watch your interactions with other people-- people you know and strangers, such as clerks in stores and banks. Don't judge yourself, just observe. Awareness is the key. Become aware of who you are, how you respond to other people, and how they react to you. Decide what attitude you'd like to share with the people in your world.

[shadowlady861]

Live in harmony

When I began practicing aikido-- a martial art based on nonresistance and harmony-- I discovered how much resistance I still had. The more I tried to relax and practice nonresistance, the more resistance I experienced. I lived, moved, breathed, worked, lived, and loved from a place that was not relaxed.

My immediate reaction to any feeling I had was, "Oh, no. I can't feel that."

My first reaction to any problem that arose was, "No, this can't be taking place."

If someone disagreed with me, I responded with an attack or by trying to force my will.

And if I had a task to do, I prepared myself by getting tense and afraid.

One of the biggest challenges and biggest rewards we can discover in our lives is to live in harmony with ourselves and the people in our world. We do this by learning to tell ourselves, "Just relax."

From that relaxed place, which some call surrender, we'll tap into our true power. We'll know how to deal with our feelings. We'll be guided into what to do next.


God, show me the areas of my life where I'm in resistance. Help me let go and learn to consciously relax as I go through my life.

[shadowlady861]

Deal with manipulation

A few years ago I was in Jordan on an excursion through the Middle East. I wanted to go to Pakistan, but when I got to the Pakistani embassy, in Jordan, an official ordered me to go to the American embassy, miles away, saying, "You have to get a piece of paper from your government vouching for you. That's the only way the government of Pakistan will even consider your request."

I went to the American embassy in Jordan and stood in line there all day. Finally, when it was my turn, I told the gentleman why I was there. "That's ridiculous," he said. There's no such thing as an international voucher for people in the United States. That's what a passport does. It says the American government is vouching for you, declaring you worthy and reliable to travel abroad.

He began to speak quietly. "He's just messing with you," he said, of the government official at the other agency. "Sometimes they like to play games with people, show them how much power they really have."

I went back to the Pakistani embassy. When I returned, there was an elderly Muslim man sitting in the waiting room. He wore a turban. His head was bowed. He was reciting the Koran and rubbing his string of prayer beads.

He helped set the tone and reminded me of what I needed to do: calm down, be peaceful, stop resisting, and harmonize with the situation. It didn't matter if the visa man was wrong and I was right. He had the power. I needed to go to him. I sat quietly waiting for my turn. When I went up to the counter, I deliberately acknowledged his point of view. Then I gently explained that I didn't get the piece of paper he asked for from the American embassy, because that paper didn't exist. I explained it was probably the only time in my life I'd be in this area of the world. I pointed to the poster on the wall. "The Himalayas are so beautiful there," I said. "If I don't go now, I don't know that I ever will. You have the power to say yes or no. And I have no choice but to go along with whatever you say. It's in your hands."

He told me to go sit down. I did. Five minutes later, he called me back to the stand."Here," he said, handing me my passport. "Enjoy your visit to Pakistan."

We have a right to get as mad as we want, but sometimes harmonizing can achieve so much more than yelling in indignation or even fighting back. Next time you find yourself in a situation where your being manipulated, let go of your resistance and practice harmony instead.


God, teach me the power of moving gently, with humility and respect, through the world.

[shadowlady861]

Relax when things don't go as you planned

So, the boyfriend calls, says he's going hiking with his buddies for a week, cancels his date with you, and says he hopes you won't be mad.

Or the bank calls and says you're overdrawn, and you don't know how that can be. You've been trying to carefully watch your deposits and checks. You've gone out of your way not to mess up. This can't be right!

What do you do when life seems to force you to react? You can panic, become anxious, yell, and respond with a counter-attack. But that probably won't solve the problem. And it may turn things into a brawl.

Or you can calm down. Breathe deeply. Tell yourself to relax. Say as little as possible, if that's possible, while you're upset and disturbed. If a problem or disturbance that's not fair interrupts your life, try responding by saying "hmmm." Then calm down and decide what you need to do.

There's a time to get upset, yell, scream, and shout. But that time isn't when you're trying to sort out problems. Before you take action, get centered, calm, and clear.

You will discover that when you're centered and calm, you're more powerful than you think.


God, help me start sailing through life with more ease by learning to relax and let life be.

[shadowlady861]

Relax even when you're being attacked

Attacks can come in many shapes and forms. They can be emotional attacks, where someone pelts us with anger and rage. We can be attacked physically,too.

Self-defense is important. But it's easy to get confused, when we're being attacked, about what it means to take care of and protect ourselves. It may be a boss, a spouse, a child, or a friend who turns on us in anger and rage. We might be dating someone, someone we don't know well, who suddenly starts spewing venom and rage. Instinctively, we may attack back.

If someone yells at us in anger, says something mean, or physically hurts us, we usually don't think twice. We tense up and fight back. Then the situation escalates. The other person's fear and anger contaminate us. We become afraid, angry, and mean,too. Our intense and volatile emotions feed and fuel the situation. Things can easily get out of control.

Instead of escalating the situation into an all-out brawl, try harmonizing and restoring the situation to peace. You might be surprised with the results that learning to relax and harmonize brings. And you'll be closer to connecting with your true power.


God, fill me up with so much peace that my presence neutralizes and deflects attacks, no matter where I might be.

[shadowlady861]

Relax enough to face reality when life twists and turns

Sometimes in life, no matter how deeply we intend to make the best decisions possible for ourselves, things happen. Marriages end, jobs turn sour, friends wane. For reasons outside our control or understanding, the situation twists and turns into something other than what we bargained for.

Have you been waiting for a situation to revert to what it originally was-- or what you hoped it would be when you got in? Are you telling yourself that there's something wrong with you, when the reality is, the situation has changed into something other than what you thought it was? Things often don't go as smoothly as we planned. Sometimes, we need to endure and get through the rough spots. But I'm talking about those grindingly difficult moments when life suddenly twists on us.

These are the times we need to quit torturing ourselves. Let go of what you thought would happen. If life has twisted on you, don't turn on yourself. Don't try to make things be the way they were. Come up to speed. Return to now. Let yourself accept the new situation at hand.

The road isn't always a straight course. Sometimes, even a path with heart unexpectedly twists and turns.


God, help me relax and trust myself enough to deal with reality, not my fantasy of what I hoped it would be.

[shadowlady861]

Relax and face the truth

Sometimes, we have to face things we'd rather not see.

That person we've been dating just isn't someone who is good for us. Our spouse isn't just a social drinker, he or she has a serious problem with alcohol. Our child isn't just being a cute little child anymore, making up silly stories, that child is lying and stealing from us.

Sometimes, these moments of truth are big bombs in our lives. Other times, we run from those smaller moments of truth-- we've done something that hurt someone, no matter how defensive and innocent we pretended to be, and we need to face up to that. Maybe our children have grown up and left home and we've been running from that truth, pretending that we still need to center our lives around them. Or maybe the truth is, we are feeling angry, abandoned, or hurt.

We all have moments of truth in our lives.

I was talking to a friend one day. He had been complaining that his air purifier didn't work. I was going to the repair shop, so I offered to take his machine in and get it fixed.

"It's plugged in," he said. "I got it to turn on, and I can't afford to be without it."

"You've got it turned on, but it's not working right?" I asked. "You're without it now."

Relax. Let your illusions go. Turn and face whatever you're running from. Not facing the truth doesn't make the truth go away, no matter how much we hope it will.

If you've been running from the truth in some area of your life, gently begin to face what you've preferred to avoid. The power is in the truth.


God, help me let go of my illusions. Help me understand the power that comes when I take the time to see clearly and have my moments of truth.

[shadowlady861]

Calm yourself first

Calm yourself.

Many incidents will come to pass in our lives. Sometimes, things happen to get our attention, to point the next lesson out, to help guide us along our path. Sometimes, things just happen.

Our emotional responses to the world are important. How do you feel? What do you like? What don't you like? Have you been denying something, something taking place before your eyes? What we sense, what we feel, and, more important, what we know deep inside is an important part of our spirit, our connection to the Divine.

It's important not to underreact. It's important not to overreact.

When something comes up, calm yourself. Feel your emotions. Don't move into denial. Feel each wave of each feeling. Allow your thoughts to pass through you. But the key is not to act on these emotions. Let them pass through you first.

Your power comes from being centered and clear. That's where your answers, insights, and lessons will come from, too.

The first thing to do when something happens is feel what you feel.

The second is calm yourself. From that place of calm, you'll be guided into your next step.


God, teach me to take guided action, not action motivated by turbulent emotions.

[shadowlady861]

Relaxing is how we heal

Stopping, calming, and resting are preconditions for healing. When animals in the forest are wounded they find a place to lie down and rest completely for many days... They just rest, and get the healing they need.
--Thich Nhat Hanh

We hurt. We suffer. We wrong our loved ones and they do wrong by us. Reaching desperately for an answer will not help us. Pretending we're not hurt doesn't help, either. When we are wounded, the wound needs rest in order to heal. So it is with our souls. If we poke at our hurt, pick at the sore, rub it in the dirt of others' opinions, we do not allow it time to heal.

If you've been hurt, accept that. Feel the hurt. Be aware of it. Let it heal. Maybe it would be better if you didn't talk to that person for a while. Maybe you need to let go of the relationship. Maybe you just need some quiet time. Whatever the answer is, find a safe place and allow yourself to heal.

If you're feeling pain, be aware of it. Feel the pain, and then quit picking at the wound. Lie low. Quit fighting. Relax. Give your wounds time and enough rest to heal.


God, help me relax enough to stop, calm down, and heal.

[shadowlady861]

Relax and enjoy the ride

One of the good things about jumping out of airplanes is that there is at least one aspect of the sport that is impossible to mess up. When you choose to open the door and get out of the plane, one thing is certain. You will fall. There will be wind that you can use to control your movement through the air, and you will get back to the ground. So relax. Enjoy the ride.

Some things in life are that way,too. We can be as tense or as relaxed as we want to and the thing will not change-- other people, the weather, the driver in front of you on the freeway. Often there is nothing that we can do to affect a situation, and yet we will fight with the universe, tense up, and try to control things rather than just relaxing and learning to use what is to the best of our ability.

There is no need to change the universe. It was before this lifetime, and it will be long after you have passed. You can choose to spend your life fighting it, or you can relax, let go of your control, and learn to work with and within it.

Have you been fighting against gravity trying to get back into the plane? Let go of the uncontrollable situations in your life. Let them be what they are. Relax and learn to work with them rather than against them. You will have more strength and success when you do. You might even have some fun.


God, show me the areas of my life where I'm still trying to exert control over the impossible. Help me let go and enjoy the ride.

[shadowlady861]

Find ways to relax

Recovering alcoholics-- and many people who choose not to drink or use drugs-- need to find ways to relax that don't involve alcohol, drugs, or medications.

Many of us remember daily that we are choosing not to drink or use drugs. But we may forget that it's important to learn ways to relax our body and our minds. Maybe it's time to assertively pursue options for helping us to unwind.

I can tell you things that help me. Hot water-- whether it's taking a long shower, sitting in a hot tub, or resting in a bathtub, meditation and visualization; being near a large body of water and if that's not possible, looking at a good picture of the ocean or a beautiful sea; drinking hot herbal tea; massage; music, meditation tapes; a good movie; laughter; deep, conscious breathing; playing the piano; and being outside in the sun.

We each have our own needs, our own methods of calming ourselves down. Do you have a list of what works for you? If you don't, today is a good day to make one.

Today and each day, do at least one thing deliberately that relaxes you. Begin allowing your body to memorize how it feels when it's relaxed, then consciously duplicate that feeling throughout the day whenever you feel yourself become tense.


God, show me ways to relax.

Activity: Begin making a list of the things that help you relax. This is an important part of your self-care list. If it's a long one, great. If it's a short one, pursue other methods of relaxing that are available to you, and add them to this list. Whenever you feel yourself becoming tense, take out your list and actually do one of the things on it-- the one that most appeals to you at that moment. Part of getting to know yourself better means becoming acquainted with things that help your body relax.

[shadowlady861]

Surrender to God's will

It was a stressful time in my life. I didn't know what to do. I had pressing business decisions to make and painful relationship issues to face. Everything felt like a mess.

I gathered up a few favorite books, the Bible, a journal, and some clothes. Then I headed for the mountains, a resort that was a favorite place of mine to hide out in and gather my thoughts.

I told myself, "I'm going to stay in there. Write in my journal. Pray. And meditate. I'm not coming out until I know what to do."

After forty-eight hours of writing about my problems, praying about my problems, and meditating about my problems, I remembered something a friend had said to me.

"What are you doing?" he had asked.

"I'm trying to surrender to God's will."

"No your not; you're trying to figure it out."

Within six months, each of the problems I was wrestling with worked themselves out. I was either guided into an action that naturally felt right at the time, or a solution came to me. The immediate solution to each problem was the same: let go. Just surrender to the situation taking place. Sometimes, what we need to do next is surrender.

If you don't like the word surrender, try calling it making peace.


God, help me surrender to your will, especially when I don't know what to do next.

[shadowlady861]

Take a time-out

"Tickets!Tickets!" And you give yours to the big man in the beard and the T-shirt at the gate and step onto the carousel. So many choices! Horses and carriages of every color. The white one with the golden tail? The green one with fire in his eyes? Yes, he looks fast-- but no, someone else got there first. You settle for the black-and-red horse with the sparkling silver saddle. Someone bumps past, leaving stcky cotton candy on your arm. And then the music starts-- loud, creaky organ music blaring through old blown-out speakers. The lights flash on and off, and the world spins around you. Children shriek in delight while you tug on the reins, guide your mount around the course, and try to let go of the nagging suspicion that the green horse would have been more fun. You vow to get back in line and get that one next time.

Step off the carousel.

Take a break for a moment and watch all the horses go hurrying past. The green one is no better than the red one, just different, and certainly not any faster. All your frantic pulling on the reins is wasted effort,too. See, they come right back again. They keep right on going around whether you are there or not. Let them.

Sure, it's fun to be on the ride, to be right in the middle of all the action, up and down,'round and'round, lights flashing, music blaring. Just remember that you have a choice. You can be on the ride, or you can get off. Be where you want to be, and occasionally, relax.


God, help me remember that I have choices, and relaxing and letting go are two of them.

[shadowlady861]

Relax inside

Meditation does not have to be hard labor. Just allow your mind and your body to rest like an animal in the forest. Don't struggle. There is no need to attain anything. I am writing a book, yet I am struggling.
--Thich Nhat Hanh

Life does not need to be a struggle. Yes, there are busy times and slow times in all of our jobs. Deadlines and time-frames, budgets and schedules. But when we struggle, we burn up all of the energy in the fight and have nothing left to give to the project. How much better it is to relax, to work on the project and let go of the deadline. The project will be done when it is done, and we will most likely finish it much faster if we focus on the project, not the deadline.

Are you spending valuable energy fighting and struggling with yourself? How will I get this done? What if I do it wrong? What if? What if? Relax. The answers will take care of themselves. Just concentrate on the task at hand-- calmly, easily, smiling. The Buddhist have a saying: "If you are finished with your rice, then wash your bowl." The beauty of life is relaxing and being aware of the task at hand. Relax. Enjoy the work you're doing today.


God, help me give up resistance and learn to relax.

[shadowlady861]

Relax now

"Only two more weeks until vacation," we say. "Two more weeks until I can relax." Then we return to our stressful lives of running here, hurrying there, and scrambling to get this or that done.

Why wait? Why not relax today? Part of living fully in the moment is taking a break when you need it. If you are tired, take a nap. Plan an afternoon away from work. Go to the park on a Saturday morning by yourself. Take a bubble bath; order dinner out, take the kids to the zoo.

So often we feel that we are running, running, just trying to keep up with the rest of the world. It's an illusion. Much of the time we're running in place. Stop. The only one keeping you on the treadmill is you. Yes, we all have responsibilties. But taking time to take care of ourselves is one of responsibilities, too.


God, grant me the peace and grace to listen to my own needs.

[shadowlady861]

Meditate

A mind too active is no mind at all.
__Theodore Roethke

It's possible to learn to relax into the ordinary aspects in your life. Be aware of those normal moments, relax, allow your mind to be quiet. Allow your spirit to speak to you in those moments.

Look at the family sitting at breakfast, the birds gathered around the feeder, the dew on the grass when you step outside to pick up the morning paper, the pattern of the shadows on the walk in the moonlight. Be aware of the beauty of the ordinary. Be aware of these soothing moments and make the most of them. When you learn to be aware and relax into the ordinary, it will be easier to relax in the stressful moments when you need clarity and focus.

The practice of meditation is a practice of mindfulness. It is a practice of becoming aware of and in tune with our bodies, our spirit, and the spirit of God. One of the goals of meditation is to reach a point when we carry this mindfulness with us throughout the day. When we can still the noise of our chattering minds, we can see the path with heart that we are to follow.


God, help me to quiet my noisy worrisome mind in my ordinary world. Help me to relax in the familiar and to be aware of and appreciate it.

[shadowlady861]

Make yourself at home

It was night, only a few months after I'd begun my skydiving adventure. It was too cold to stay in my tent, I had rented a cabin near the drop zone. Now I'd come back to hang out for a while, before retiring for the night.

One of the sky divers I'd met recently was sitting in a lawn chair, under the tarped area between the rows of trailors that had been turned into team rooms and student training areas. The evening lights had been turned on. He was wrapped up in a sleeping bag, reading a book under the hazy glow. He was one of the full-time sky divers, who had been attracted to the gypsy lifestyle of the skydiving community as much as the sport itself.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm in my living room reading a book," he replied. "Do you like the view of the backyard?" he asked, making a gesture toward the rolling hills that cascaded gently in the background. "That's my patio," he said, pointing to a small area just around the corner. "The morning sun hits there. It's a warm place to sit and eat breakfast. Sometimes I sleep in that tent," he said, pointing off to the side. "And sometimes I take my sleeping bag and curl up under the stars in the landing area, over there."

I looked around, almost envious of his freedom.

Sometimes, we get so busy and involved creating a "home" for ourselves that we create a structure that's too safe, limiting, and confined. We forget about our real home, the planet earth. It's good to sleep indoors. It's nice to make ourselves comfortable in our home. But don't let your cozy nest become a locked, confining box.

Stretch your arms. Push the lid off the box. Get out into the world. Walk around. Move about. See the hills, the lakes, the forests, the mountain peaks, the valleys, the rivers.

See how big your world can be. See how connected everything is. See how connected you are,too-- to all that is. Make yourself comfortable, wherever you are. Make yourself a home and be at home in the world.


God, help me relax and make myself at home in your beautiful world.