Reflections for Everyday of the Year - June

[janbear]

Betty Ann Says:
While standing before an ancient tapestry in a museum, I was thinking about how the people who had woven it had left their prespiration, thus their essence within it. I then acknowledged the fact that the tapestry was still there and that they were not, and how one day I too would not be here, and in that moment I felt infinitesimal. A sense of pure love and grace overcame me, thus marked the begining of my process

[janbear]

Shawila Says:
Today, I have become a little more obedient through my suffering or life experiences however you want to see it. Today I don't have to drink, trust in my Higher Power, and follow what is suggested in Alcholics Anonymous and my life SOBER has improved tremendously. No matter what life throws at me today, I am learning and willing to remain teachable to carry God's will rather than mine.

[janbear]

Beth J. Says:
For my first couple of years in AA, I was one of the ones who came back time after time to pick up a white chip and let others see what they have to go back to. I'm grateful today by God's grace to be able to learn from the relapses of others. They help me stay sober, as well as the people with long time sobriety.

[janbear]

Don M. Says:
After four years sober in AA I decided there had to be a better way, (sobriety through the 12 steps). I fired my then sponsor and asked another member to sponsor me. He said he did not want to be my friend, but he wanted to guide me to the miracle possible, living the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. At 20 years of great sobriety the journey (work) has been worth it.

[janbear]

Catherine E. Says:
Studying and following the 12 steps has allowed me to grow immensely. I no longer believe that my rebellious teenage years caused my mother's alcoholism. It existed long before then. I understand why in the past I never felt perfect enough. I learned why I chose a husband who I could help and rescue, and a career where I could help and actually save some people thus satisfying my need to do what I could not in my own family relationships.

[janbear]

Catherine E. Says:
Studying and following the 12 steps has allowed me to grow immensely. I no longer believe that my rebellious teenage years caused my mother's alcoholism. It existed long before then. I understand why in the past I never felt perfect enough. I learned why I chose a husband who I could help and rescue, and a career where I could help and actually save some people thus satisfying my need to do what I could not in my own family relationships.

[janbear]

Candy Says:
I always thought I was a great mother, until I stopped drinking, and realized that I was not a mother at all. I put my drinking first, and my children came second. I was a black out drinker, and sometimes couldn't even remember if I put my children to bed. I am a mother of two, and have put my children in so many dangerous situations because of my drinking and drugging, and thanks to AA, I am now living a sober life, and my children are finally safe!

[flick]

Betty Ann Says:

Once I do a fifth step it seems that God then offers me these windows of opportunity to change or perpetuate the patterns of behavior that were just pointed out to me. These situations present themselves as if God ordained for there are no coincidences. Sometimes it feels as if nothing is harder than changing a pattern of behavior, and although I can walk away from the assignment the lesson will return until I can grasp it.

[janbear]

Carol H. Says:
I have really been having a tough time financially and emotionally. With 7 years of sobriety and being clean I was really beating myself up thinking I should be doing better. God does do for me what I cannot do for myself. Thanks to my Higher Power, meetings, sponser and sponsees I am able to take steps in the right direction and hope is restored. Keep coming back. It works

[janbear]

Clarice P. Says:
I brought nothing but pain to that first meeting. When a newcomer comes to our room for the first time, I want to be there to listen to their story. I want to say, "I know how you feel," and I want to share my experience, strength, and hope. I need to be with like-minded people who accept me where I am, and who love me unconditionally, because I am God's child, trying to live our program one day at a time. To Al-Anon, my sponsor, and my Higher Power, thank you for all these lessons.

[janbear]

Trish Says:
I try to take care of myself physically, I've learned that a big part of my addiction is enhanced by an imbalance of neurochemicals in the brain. If I exercise, eat right, sleep enough, it's easier to fight those addictions because I'm creating lots of serotonin, dopamine, etc. naturally rather than grabbing some chocolate or looking for drama from a dysfunctional relationship, which is always a temporary fix and always leaves me back where I started.

[janbear]

Sue Says:
I made it through one year sober. I have life again which gives me balance and understanding. It was a very long road but I made it and am **** proud of myself for my greatest accomplishment anyone can endure. Love to all of you, you can do it too!

[janbear]

Beth J. Says:
After over a year in recovery, it's easy to get caught up in life and forget where I came from. I must take time each day to pause and reflect on all that I have to be grateful for, which compared to where I was when I stopped drinking, is a whole lot! I'm even learning what it means to be a grateful recovering alcoholic because before I went through the trials that I did and lost everything, I wasn't nearly so appreciative of what I had. I'm so thankful even if it's a really bad day

[janbear]

Lolly Says:
I am coming up to two years clean, and just want to share my gratitude with you. I first went to a 12 step meeting when I was 17 years old, pretty young I know, but I reached a point of brokeness after picking up at the age of 10 and progressing on to heroin at 14. Anyone who thinks they're too young, give it a try, I have a life beyond my wildest dreams, through attending meetings and doing what was sugessted the miracle has happened!

[janbear]

Steve R. Says:
End the relapse while you still can, before the never-ending downward spiral is unstoppable. Reach out for help from your friends, sponsor, and the fellowships... that's what they're there for, and they understand, and can be of great comfort and assistance in times like this. Don't beat yourself over the head with what's happened. It will only make things worse. Take what happened, learn what you can from it (what led up to the relapse, what triggered it), leave it behind, and move on

[janbear]

MIRROR, MIRROR

"Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.”
Kahlil Gibran



As a child, I often looked in the mirror and wished I were a boy. I thought I was ugly, had a deep voice, and was a disappointment as a girl. Even as a young woman I could never enjoy my appearance. I never saw the truth in the mirror. I would always focus on my “problem areas” and feel devastated that this had happened to my body. I felt totally helpless and wanted to cry; but I didn’t cry ~ I ate instead. Compulsive overeating stripped me of my true self. It made me incapable of seeing the truth, feeling the truth, and perceiving the truth.

Since coming to OA the scales have fallen from my eyes. By reading the Big Book, going to meetings, interacting with my sponsor, and working the steps, I have been able to see things as they are. Now I see my true self in the mirror and I can deal with life as it is. I can feel my feelings and know that they are neither right nor wrong and they will pass and change with the wind. This healing has cleared space in my mind and spirit for me to connect with my Higher Power. It has made room for me to grow, to love and care for myself, and to appreciate the body God gave me. When I doubt my perceptions, my feelings, or what I’m seeing in the mirror, I just surrender and remind myself that God has given me new eyes and new tools for living my life. The 12 Steps of OA shine a light into my soul and show me the truth in all areas of my life and recovery.

One day at a time...
I will look at myself ~ in all areas of my recovery ~ and know that what I am seeing is the truth because the light of OA and the 12 steps are guiding my life today.


~ Karen

[janbear]

Jessie Says:
Recovery through Al-Anon has taught me that I need to "Let Go and Let God." When I try to control things over which I have no control, I set myself up. This behavior can only lead to one thing: insanity. When I am able to get my focus back on myself (one of the few things that I do have some control over) I am able to live life with a serenity I never would have known without this program.

[janbear]

In my hectic day to day life, I must constantly stop and remind myself where my priorities lie. Remember that this program may not be your whole life, but it allows you to enjoy a life that is whole. I'm so grateful for this program and to know that my first priority today is to stay sober

[janbear]

Linn B. Says:
My husband recently retired after always working from the time he was 14 years old - he's now 62. This morning over our morning coffee, he looked at me and said "you know, this wouldn't be possible without Alcoholics Anonymous - who do I thank?" I told him "everybody that has been there before us and those who will come after us." Neither one of us would have survived the last fourteen great years without a program of recovery - what a life!

[janbear]

Jennifer Says:
I have been sober for a little over a year now, not all of it has been spent in the program. Since coming into the program and with the help of church I have now found a higher power that I choose to call God. I had a close call this last weekend and was close to relaspe but through prayer for strength I made it through. It made me realize just how powerless I really am. I want to say thanks to all the people in my life who've helped me on my journey.

[janbear]

Amy L. Says:
Early in sobriety it seemed that the pain would never end. I also believed that my emotions would stay uncontrollable and rule my life. I remember the pain because a friend reminded me in a meeting tonight of how bad it hurt and how alone I felt. Today the pain is minimal unless I become an architect of my own adversity. God, the steps, a sponsor, literature, prayer, and you people have given me a life beyond my wildest dreams. Thank you.

[janbear]

Mary Ann Says:
It helps me a great deal to realize that some people have an allergy to alcohol. Just like a child that craves sugar, they crave alcohol, but the after affect leaves them sick, unable to eat or go out and intensely depressed. The only way out is to detox and avoid it altogether. It is a high that lasts a short time and a hell that lasts for days. It still remains, after all, a poison to the system!

[janbear]

Paige M. Says:
When I fail to spend time in spiritual areas of my life I tend to take it all on myself which has led me to poor choices in the past three months. When I read my Big Book daily on surrendering I find the days much less challenging and I remain focused. Graditude too is a daily part of each morning, reflecting on the blessings I have and not what I want to desire in the 'now.' I find freedom, release, peace and joy through this program and for that I am grateful today!

[janbear]

Karen Says:
Just for today I was thinking that one of the things I love about Al-Anon is there are no rules, just suggestions. I was also thinking that even my Higher Power doesn't force me to do anything. I always have choices, and there are no "musts" in Al-anon. That gentleness, attractiveness and non-controlling atmosphere keep me coming back every time. If I had been told I had to do this or that when I came in, I probably would have left long ago.

[janbear]

Michael M. Says:
I have found through my journey in recovery that when I have the spiritual aspects running with me I seem to be okay but, when I have not; there might be trouble. No God, no peace. Know God, know peace

[flick]

Hi, am having trouble bringing up June's reading so have gone for an archive;

Tree Says:

I have found that when I find myself in chaos and confusion, this disease in all its ugliness in right with me. But with the tools of this program I stop - breath in and out slowly - then do my 3rd step. I make the conscience decision to turn my will over to the care of God and then most important - I need to listen! Things do get better and maybe not in the way we would think they would, but it works.

[flick]

Melinda E. Says:

My dependence on accomplishments and awards defined my existence. And they were fleeting, few, and far-apart. I slowly realized that I was not living my life. I was enduring it. I had no joy. I am trying to experience life to the fullest now. I am surrounding myself with the Experience, Strength, and Hope of the fellowship that surrounds me in this program. I am feeling peace within myself and a feeling that my life does have meaning. I am no longer marking time.

[flick]

Sandman Says:

I drove to my first Al-Anon meeting, and sat in the parking lot to petrified to leave my car. Twenty years later, I finally walked through the door. Six months after my first meeting, I realized this program is about understanding myself, and alcoholism, no matter how long it took me to get here, and no matter how long it takes. I am forever grateful.

[flick]

Ted Says:

One year ago today, after throwing up during a brown out at work, I was escorted to a testing facility where I promptly blew a .27. I subsequently lost a $60K position with a Fortune 20 company, and entered "shangra-la" for a week of "reflection." What a difference a year makes. To all of those who have shared their experience, strength and hope, and most of all to that which created me and guides me, I say thank you.

[janbear]

Chrsitine S. Says:
I can't believe the power of a 12 step program. I'm so glad I lived to enjoy life sober. I don't want material things, I'm not preoccupied by money, and I've let go of my "so-called drinking buddies" for favor of real family and friends who are also on the road to recovery. Each day poses and new challenge, but I know with the help of the program and my HP I can do this!

[janbear]

Sikgrl Says:
I'm learning to cultivate gratitude for all the experiences my sober life has to offer, whether I like them or not. the reason is that there is a gift in all things, all people, all events, if i will see it. I will not return to the dope house with gratitude for this life and all it has to offer.