My Little Miracle in A. A.

[Joplinfrk]

I just passed the 1 year and four month mark in sobriety and it's been quite the wild rollercoaster ride! I do have something I would like to share and then get your feedback afterwards, if you don't mind.

I was asked to speak at a closed discussion meeting last Monday at the last minute. I love to speak and share my own experience, strength and hope as often as I can but my story is a bit different because I was more into the "dry goods" rather than alcohol. I did however, drink like a fish when the opportunity gave way but was in love with the opiates (pain killers) and never really liked the taste of alcohol. FOR ME it's safer to be in AA and where I'm at (Long Island), the sobriety is stronger here. So, I have been for the most part accepted with many open arms and love my home group. I told my story and then there was a show of hands. 99% of the feedback was positive and the vibe was great. There was however that one person who had to raise his hand and make a statement to the effect that he didn't want me there in his AA meeting and he didn't feel that a drug is a drug is a drug. I let him say what he needed to say and told him that I appreciated his opinion but, if I were a newcomer and was reaching out for help for the first time ever and I heard someone (who just celebrated 25 years) say that addicts weren't welcome, I would have left and never come back. The miracle that I wanted to share was the fact that I didn't get angry or hurt by what he said, it just rolled right off of me. In fact, it didn't even phase me, really. So much so that I thought something was wrong with me. My sponsor said that was the program working for me: it's not ALL bout me! On my five month anniversary I was told by someone different that he, "didn't want my kind around because it waters down his meetings" and that I should "go somewhere else".
What do you think about addicts being welcomed into the family of AA? I mean, isn't that where it all stemmed from? We all just want to get better, right?

[Victoriana]

Sounds as if you had a great meeting! Well done. :85:
You know, there will always be those few but in the end addiction is addiction. I enjoy hearing from anyone, no matter what their drug of choice was. We are all in it to win it aren't we? Our Higher Power would be the same where ever we went.

[DaveH]

Congratulations on your sobriety. And for acquiring the ability to accept others where they are, that was a tough one for me. It has been my experience that length of sobriety can often have very little to do with the quality of sobriety. Some have more difficulty than others shedding their character defects.I have met folks in the program who had that something I wanted who had 1 year and others who had 30.

I agree that AA was the genesis for most, if not all of the other 12 step programs. Where a drug addict is most comfortable, AA or NA, is not near as important to me. What's important is that all of us are getting hope through the shared experiences of the group and learning how to work and apply the steps in our lives. Sounds like you are learning that well!!!!

Anyway, congratulations again and enjoy your journey.

Regards,
DaveH

[Joplinfrk]

Thank you so much for the support. Yes, I have met those who were newly sober who seemed to have their poop together more so than those who have over 20 years. (Like that fellow who said what he said). Now that I am in my "terrible twos", I find that my defects of character : scheming, lying, "hiding" and so on and so, seem to be even more to the forefront now that I'm sober. I know that I am where my feet are and I'm "wading through the poop", but **** it's hard, isn't it? Egad!

[zoomie]

I think now days drugs are a part of everyone's story and should be told. No one I know is a pure alcoholic unless they are very old,but then again you never know the real truth about anyone.

[Rockin Big Daddy]

:mrgreen::25:Easy now, Zoomie!!!

[Joplinfrk]

I just got home from a meeting where I shared what happened to me on Monday. A group of people were leaving as I was sharing and when I made the statement, "there is always that one person who thinks that I shouldn't be here..." someone said, "you shouldn't". That was SO cowardly and really hurt my feelings. God, we are some really sick people, aren't we?

[KathyB777]

I just got home from a meeting where I shared what happened to me on Monday. A group of people were leaving as I was sharing and when I made the statement, "there is always that one person who thinks that I shouldn't be here..." someone said, "you shouldn't". That was SO cowardly and really hurt my feelings. God, we are some really sick people, aren't we?

Let it roll of ya like water on a duck's back.
Think of it this way....... sometimes people's words can help you show you something GOD wants you to see about something He wants you to notice or work on in yourself. YUP........People's words hurt. Can actually kill you if you let it....
I remember when I was hooked on Meth (crank)....my daughter was 9 and I couldn't take care of her anymore. I was so bad & my binges were so bad that I would stay up for weeks at a time and sleep for days at a time. And I was VERY violent. I called my brother, and told him come get her, that he either comes and gets her or I will call the courts (yup, that bad). Well by that time I was suicidal, knew I was an addict and let everybody know it....when people would tell me I had a problem my reply was normally "no sh*t....you have a solution. When ya do lets talk but until then, *&^% off!"
When my brother came to pick up my daughter I sat and cried on the couch telling him I was an addict and needed help.....his reply...."Do us all a favor and blow your F'ing brains out".
My point.......I'm still here and his words while cruel, made me look at my life a few weeks later and then within days I was in detox.
Use the words of others to see what it is God is trying to show ya. :42:
Hope my long reply helped in some way!!!!
Kathy

[Joplinfrk]

Thank you, Kathy. It does help. You know how they say that addicts and alcohol is an ego maniac with an inferiority complex? Well, that's me. There are some really sick people in the rooms and I guess I should keep praying for them.

[KathyB777]

Thank you, Kathy. It does help. You know how they say that addicts and alcohol is an ego maniac with an inferiority complex? Well, that's me. There are some really sick people in the rooms and I guess I should keep praying for them.

I can't say I've ever heard that....
I only went to 2 meetings in my life. It made me want to get high, so I couldn't do it. 1 other reason I went was to tell my best friend at the time (who was in 1 of those 2 NA meetings) how very sorry I was for dragging her down the road to addiction and asking for forgiveness. :8:

I NEVER feel guilty for anything that I have done in my life and I am also not ashamed....My life is a testimony to what God can do!!! :smile: And every test we have, can be a testimony to His power, if we let Him do the work.

I wasn't the steal, lie, cheat addict.....I was the sell dope to get dope addict at that time.
I'm glad I could pay it forward (even a little bit) if it did help, as there are a few here who have and are my cheer leaders :12: and I thank GOD for them!!!!!!
xoxoxoxoox

PS: Don't forget to pray for yourself too my friend! :1: As He loves YOU just as much and is madly in love with you!

PSS: Man Day 9 feels GOOD!!!!!!!!LOLOLOL

[DavidNOLA]

Thanks for sharing your story and if ever in New Orleans, I know of a few places that would love you to share your story.

This helps me in situations where I let what people say affect me too much
Is It Real -- Or Just Your Ego?
Anthony De Mello, SJ

Do you think I am going to help anybody? No! Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Don't expect me to be of help to anyone. Nor do I expect to damage anyone. If you are damaged, you did it; and if you are helped, you did it. You really did! You think people help you? They don't. You think people support you? They don't.

There was a woman in a therapy group I was conducting once. She was a religious sister. She said to me, "I don't feel supported by my superior." So I said, "What do you mean by that?" And she said, "Well, my superior, the provincial superior, never shows up at the novitiate where I am in charge, never. She never says a word of appreciation." I said to her, "All right let's do a little role playing. Pretend I know your provincial superior. In fact, pretend I know exactly what she thinks about you. So I say to you (acting the part of the provincial superior), 'You know, Mary, the reason I don't come to that place you're in is because it is the one place in the province that is trouble-free, no problems. I know you're in charge, so all is well.' How do you feel now?" She said, "I feel great." Then I said to her, "All right, would you mind leaving the room for a minute or two? This is part of the exercise." So she did. While she was away, I said to the others in the therapy group, "I am still the provincial superior, O.K.? Mary out there is the worst novice director I have ever had in the whole history of the province. In fact, the reason I don't go to the novitiate is because I can't bear to see what she is up to. It's simply awful. But if I tell her the truth, it's only going to make those novices suffer all the more. We are getting somebody to take her place in a year or two; we are training someone. In the meantime I thought I would say those nice things to her to keep her going. What do you think of that?" They answered, "Well, it was really the only thing you could do under the circumstances." Then I brought Mary back into the group and asked her if she still felt great. "Oh yes," she said. Poor Mary! She thought she was being supported when she wasn't. The point is that most of what we feel and think we conjure up for ourselves in our heads, including this business of being helped by people. :