The First Thing to Go...

[Joplinfrk]

I've heard it said in meetings that TRUST is the first thing to go and the LAST thing to come back. Ain't that the truth? Almost a year and a half of "doing the next right thing", I'm still held under the microscope. Money turns up missing: I did it. Collection agency calls: it was me. The gas tank is lower than it was yesterday: I went for a "ride". I understand that this is the price I need to pay for what I have done in the past: I couldn't have been trusted and I was responsible for all of the above. Even today, I still have the knee-jerk reaction to lie, scheme and everything else that goes along with this disease. I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.
I'm not alone in this feeling of frustration, am I?
Thanks for listening.

[Rockin Big Daddy]

:idea: My character defects are still intake whether I am drinking or not. How I act on them is what is different in sobriety!!