Mad as hell

[BIG AL]

I just walked out the door and my sons wife had his freind over in the yard drinkking with him and my other son.I got mad and made them leave.She just couldnt understand that her old man is in jail and you dont do things like that.She told me to go inside.I pay the bills,Take care of there house yard etc.,And my wife babysits while she works.I maybe old fashion but I was taught that I dont belong at another mans house when he was not home for any reason.She was always on his ass about his drinkking and he ended up in prison for it and she is there drinkking.Freakin people baffel me:44:I have been in some real sorry moods lately.I need for the boat mechanic to finish my boat so I can get away.I do some of my best prayin on the water.I am on vacation and all I have been doing is honey dos.:twisted:

[zoomie]

(((((((((((Al)))))))))))) I don't know what to say just I hope that you'll get to get away soon.

[Craig A.]

Take care of yourself first above all and everyone. If you are not spiritually fit and lashing out at people/family cause something isn't the way you want or is right where are our boundaries. What I mean is it is all right to keep the rules under your roof but when we try to project our will on someone else well ... . Each one of us had to go through what we went through to get where we are, and looking back in my life the people who truly helped me was the ones who shared their experience and let me live my own life, people who were gentle with their message not overbearing and demanding. I see that it is hard cause you see your son getting hurt in more ways than one but life is like that. You did the right thing by telling them to leave and standing up for what you think is right way to go! Just remember we can pray and meditate anywhere at anytime, gop for a long walk and sit by the lake, remember what we put in is what we get out! God loves us so much that He will go out of His way to listen to us no matter where we are. I love to meditate to music in the morning and now I moved in with somebody who likes to watch the news when he gets up, I at first was upset and thought the same way as you cause it worked but my sponsor told me to be in the solution, what else can be done-- I now stay in my room and meditate orgo outside, and accept my surroundings and adapt. I still have a good med/pray routine even though it wasn't the way I like it! I hoped this helped and from reading your posts and seeing you online sounds to me like you are a good person who cares about people around you! That is a good quality God Bless you and keep the faith!!!

[Chewi]

I hope things have calmed down by now and you can find your serenity! Sending prayers!

[Juanzo]

I also have a hard time with rude uncaring family members. Now God is showing me that I have to work on some of those same character defects in my own life, i.e., rudeness, judging, overemotional etc..(ad nauseum). I haven't been sober for too long, but am learning that I cannot control anything nor anyone like I've tried to do all my life. This morning I tried to say the serenity prayer and only got to the the first word..."GOD"...I wish you well my friend, we are on the right path...

[Victoriana]

It is not for me to Judge either you or her. When we judge others we are not looking at ourselves. Be well and get that vacation soon Al. It is a lovely time of year to get on the water.

[BIG AL]

Its calm this morning mostly is when I freak out on folks.Nobody accused me of being sane.But everyone knows that there is no parting going on at Johns house while he is way.I need to learn to stop and map out what I am going to say.Maybe I could help some of these folks or atleast plant a seed if I calmed down.

[skyhook]

Watching my young adult children figure their way through this world and seeing the mistakes they make, is like a re-enactment of my own life. Sometimes, when we finally reach a place of relative sanity in our own life, it is simply in time to witness the echos of our previous life in that of our children. I want my children to be safe and I recognize the enemy they are toying with, all too well.

It hurts and it pushes my anger buttons big time. Anger can be my ally, if I recognize it quickly,... walk away until it passes. Anger brings to rememberence that I am entering "the out of bounds zone", that place where I have no control, in the midst of desiring it. I typically want to control that which has the potential to hurt me or my family, which while noble in itself, it becomes a cancer when I couple it with anger.

We love our kids, but sometimes we can't help but wonder, "Didn't I get that piece of toilet paper unstuck from my shoe...along time ago ?"

Peace Al.

[sioux]

One thing I learned a long time ago in recovery is that there isn't always going to be an appropriate response to inappropriate behavior. And sometimes if sioux doesn't hit the fan, nothing happens.

This is my home here, and this is my way of life. If others cannot respect what I am doing, that's okay, there's the door. Hit it. If not, abide by my rules.

I suspect if I came home and my daughter was living with me, I would have had the same reaction. Everybody out and don't come back.

I may try and go back later when calm if I couldn't handle this calmly to begin with, apologizing of course, but we'd be revisiting the rules via a "sit down" and a "warning" that they had exhausted there one and only. Next time they could be asked to leave by the end of the week.

I am not suggesting that they will conform on ultimatium or even a warning, because that is a set up for disaster. I am suggesting they will be just fine out there on their own.

I used to have a fabulous speaker tape from Max of Dr. Paul and Max whereby she had to stop helping her daughter. It went on and on until one day she said no more and didn't hear from her daughter in over a year. Of course it was hard, but when she did meet up with her daughter again, she was happy to learn of her success in getting clean, living above board, etc. The hardest part for Max was allowing her daughter to experience the consequences of her actions, both good and bad, and not taking resonsibility for those rewards, both good and bad. I try to remember this.

[Juanzo]

I also had to refuse help to my 32 yr old son after 3 yrs., loss of $25,000, my credit, almost my marraige. He lost his wife and kids and is now living with another drug addict refusing to help himself. When it all came to a head, after he stole from me, I gave him one hour to leave. I was very angry and we exchanged very heated awful works. After about 20 minutes, I came to my senses and told him that I meant what I said about him leaving in an hour, but apologized for the way I said it. I figured if I didn't do that I would drink again. He refused and refuses to have anything to do with me and his mother. It's God's way for me right now and I rejoice in the fact that He is truly in total control of my life. But yes, families are hard. Life is hard.