Secrets

[BIG AL]

My sponsor says we are only a sick as our secrets.I have to say that I dont know if it is that I am on vacation,the heat, or just the time of the year.But this last week I have been craving a cold beer.I told my wife about it earlier and she said go to a meeting.I think I need to beef up my meetings abit.You know I get around others in the program and I want everyone to know how recovered I am.I am so spiritual and have the answers.But the truth is I am only one drink away from a drunk like anyone else.

[Jay Bee]

Big AL, hang in there my brother...Your sponsor is right. Secrets can make us sick only as long as they stay secret. You disarm the secrets by sharing it with us. When We share our secret in confidence with at least one human being , our sponsor ,or a close friend in recovery, that person usually doesn't rejects us. We disclose ourselves to someone else and are rewarded with their acceptance. when this happens, we realize that honest sharing is not life threatening; the secrets have lost their power over us, in the light of exposure. this is a tool on my recovery belt I learn to pratice with, when I feel like using.LOL to you my brother . This is a quote from the just for today meditations , not me. I just pratice on apply it in my life:15:.

[Victoriana]

It's strange actually Big Al but I have been feeling exactly the same for a couple of days. I just gave it up to my HP and got on with my life but it is annoying that when we least expect it, the addict will jump out with her "I want's".

[Chewi]

Yep, we're all just an arms length away, as my recent relapses attest to. In my f2f Tuesday we read Step 7, the theme of which is humility. We have to stay honest and humble. We have to acknowldege our HPs work in us, otherwise we get "proud" of ourselves and then, blam--humiliation is the great humbler! Someone said that our disease is lurking right outside, lifting weights and doing push-ups, just waiting to pounce upon us in our weakest moment.
We definitely need to call, go to meetings, share, read the literature. If I don't, I forget in an instant--it's just like clicking off a light. One drink, and I'm planning out my drinking schedule for the whole summer!
We need each other and the fellowship because that's what reminds us who we are and what our disease is. I need daily work, sometimes moment by moment work, to keep my brain from shutting down.
Thanks Al for the topic and everyone for sharing! :D

[Mycool]

66 days sober, this time and really I haven't had the urges I have had in the past to drink. I'm not sure why but its a real blessing. However, I am going to a Triple A ballgame this evening (Reno Aces vs Salt Lake Bees (how's that for excitement?) I shouldn't project into the future (be here, be now, Michael) but I can't help thinking about what it'll be like when those around me are scarfing down dawgs and brewskys. So much of my life was tied to the bottle. Celebration--drink. Depression--drink. Boredom--drink. Its quite interesting to watch the triggers when virtually everything in life was a trigger. Best wishes getting through the summer heat. Go Aces! (I wonder what a hotdog and a softdrink taste like?)--Mycool.

[mmarq56]

A cold Corona with salt around the rim and lime slice sounded good for awhile. I've even romanticised it but I know I can't do it. I haven't taken the plunge to the world of no-spirit and I really don't want to. That's what stops me today...God.:wink: Hang in there Big Al..you know what you need to do.

[Rockin Big Daddy]

Desire turns will into action!

[BIG AL]

I made a nooner and it was good about guilt.I am packing up the camper to go camping at the lake here this weekend:D.I have a pop-up camper with A/C.So get back with yall on sunday Be Blessed

[flick]

good that you made that meet hey!, and Al, I am a little envious of you 'getting away' for the weekend :wink::DWe have a caravan (trailer I think u call them over there), but haven't been away with it for a little while and the weather here is opposite to you, getting rather cold and icy windscreen each morning!

So....I pray you have a wonderfully relaxing and serene weekend. Bless.

:42:

[sioux]

Gosh I don't even know you personally and I would like to go camping in your AC rig. How's that for confession time. These kids are already getting on my nerves and school isn't even out yet. I will have to settle for some vicarious living.

Summertime is relapse time. I been sober longer enough to see it come and go. My biggest drunks revolved around the sun is shining, full tank in the trunk, money in my pocket....what could make this possibly better? Someone once told me that G-d's name is "Enough Already." That hit me right between the eyes.

And there have been times when the obsession has returned and the complusion has been activated. No one really wants to talk about the physical craving triggered by the mental obsession, but as it says I never really had a good explanation for that first drink.

Thanks for sharing what you did. It is a great reminder that we are only on a daily repreive, no matter what our sobriety date is.

Sioux

[gettinfree]

gettin 'real' has been one of my many challanges in recovery.

the hardest thing for me, is to let those around me see what I am. my sounding board is at group level.

i can 'put on' that all is well, or express all that i'm feeling. the love and acceptance dosn't change.

i'm finding i accept myself on a deeper level as i learn to express myself honestly. at meetings and group level is where i begin to try these 'new ideas' out...m