What Now?

[Joplinfrk]

I witnessed something at a meeting this afternoon that I have never witnessed before in my year and five months of attending AA meetings:
It was a local, "As Bill Sees It" meeting and after the reading of the preamble, "promises" and "how it works" the chair of the meeting asked if there was anyone new or just visiting that would like to say, "hello"? A woman raised her hand and introduced herself and stated that she was an addict. The chair asked if she was an alcoholic, too. The woman responded, no. The chair then stated that, "he was sorry, but you will have to leave because this is not NA". Someone in the group said, "Oh, come on..let her stay". The chair became IRATE and slammed the gavel and said, "group conscience states that this is an AA meeting ONLY and now I'll say that this meeting is closed". He then became verbally abusive and everyone got up and walked out. After the chair left, we had our own little meeting and prayed that the woman who was just coming back found another meeting that she was welcomed in.
My question is this: I understand that AA is just that, AA but I have for the most part as a drug addict been welcomed into the circle and have learned that yes, when in Rome, do what the Romans do and change the wording a bit when I am sharing, but how does a group recover from something so severe and harsh like what went down today? I ask this in the deepest sincerity and hope those with a few 24 hours under their belt can answer this. People were in tears and scared for not only their sobriety but their life; this man became violent. Knowing that AA doesn't have a president per se, how or who is the "go to" person to maybe ask this person to step down? And, should I keep coming back?
Thanks for listening.

[BIG AL]

The chairpeson was an asshole.I had them try to shut me up when someone comes in and talks about drugs.Good luck with that.I tell you I beleive we dont pick and choose who we help god places people in our lives to carry the message.One day they will have to answer for the life they may have let get away.Its ego there are no rules.And this is why becouse people would run us into the ground.I would of got up with the person and left with them and told chairman to go to hell.I agree with all that walked out.

[Joplinfrk]

Yes, it was VERY awkward because prior to this, the chair was a very nice man. Something just snapped inside of him and all hell broke loose. My heart just bleeds for the poor woman who came for help and this happened. It was SO uncalled for. No matter what your beliefs are in regards to cross addicted folk sharing space in AA meetings, you don't voice you opinion like that. In fact, why even run the risk of hurting someone by telling them that they are not welcomed at all. IN FACT, in the opening of the meeting, the secretary said something to the effect of, "God, if we can't help someone, please let us not HURT anyone". Oh, well.....Thanks Big Al.

[Craig A.]

You did the right thing by praying for that person, and yeah no one should be kicked out or removed. My suggestion would be next time follow that person and explain to her/him so she/he don't leave with a bad taste in their mouth. He really is not a nice guy if he explodes like that ( masks we all wear them ), he obviously has anger issues and he is only nice when things are going good ( the way he thinks it should go ), and/or if it is going his way ( the way he thinks it should go ). How to handle it is you can call for a business meeting and discuss it as a group and as long as you have some healthy sobriety you can have a group conscience on this matter ( majority vote ), some of the meetings I go to has this and it really works cause one person can't hijack the meeting to go the way they thinks it should go ( again maj. rules ). If you read the big book it states drugs that Bill W. abused drugs also ( on page 6-7 ) is one example. My sponsor in the beginning told me that if drugs ( cocaine, etc ... ) were not expensive ( which was known as "the rich man's drug ) back then well we would have a different name. This happened to me in say my 5th-6th meeting and the chairperson did the same thing, someone else who had good sobriety took a vote right there and then and the group conscience out ruled that one chairperson and I was allowed to stay. After the meeting that guy came to me and explained tradition 3 and how some people are blind, ignorant, and can't decipher how to handle situations in a calm or loving way, he also explained to me a drug is a drug is a drug is a drug, alcohol, herion, cocaine, presciption, etc ... , all does the same thing it KILLS, some slowly, some quickly but if we use them diligently we will get the same results! Remember we can't control other people, places, and situations but we can take action and put it in God's hand! Thanks for listen to me ramble, it brought back memories and thank you for it!!! As I look back now that chairperson actions helped me fit in more and I was more accepted, My name is Craig A. and I am a gratefully recovering alcoholic and addict ( I state this at every meeting I go to ) and I love it when someone tries to correct me ( acceptance is the key to all my problems ). God bless and take care!!!

[Victoriana]

Where I live there is only one NA meeting a week so at AA meetings it is accepted that people with other addictions are welcome and will attend. We also accept and welcome compulsive overeaters and anyone else that needs help with addictions. It does not "water down" the meetings or cause any fuss. It is just accepted that the way to recovery is to reach out and give.
I do not understand the strange attitude of "this is our gang and you can't join". It seems a bit childish to me except that playing with someones health and welfare is shocking and heinous.

[Joplinfrk]

Thank you so much, Craig. It's refreshing to hear people speak of this issue with a calm reassuring tone and not the usual, "good old boy" answer of, "well, they SHOULDN'T be there". People seem to forget that Dr. Bob had other addictions. Would you kick him out of an AA meeting?
Thanks to you, too Victoriana. It's nice to see that not everyone has an us against them mentality. It's not 1939, people, it's 2009. Times have changed and people have many more options to get high.
Thanks again.

[MrSoul1970]

Big Al summed That up in his first sentence.

On a side note...I have my 1rst Drs appoinmt today..a pyschiatrist who deals specifically with those w/ substance abuse issues...and I hear terriefic things about her....I'm excited and nervous..Not trying to hi-jack thread, but it Is things like That chairperson that worries(not sure if thats the right word)..about going to meetings...

I'd have a tough time sitting quiet if someone behaved that way towards another human being looking for help,whatever it may be.

Hopefully...he steps down or is forced to, not sure how it works..Good luck and hopefully you have a chance to talk to that person who was pubically disrespected and help them.

[DaveH]

I would tend to agree with Big Al's description of the chairperson too. If I am to take offense it would be with the person not practicing the principles in all of their affairs, certainly not a lost soul looking for help like I was. Although I respect the traditions, I do not think they were ever put into place to deny another addict the hope we found at a meeting. I think they were put into place to protect us from ourselves, not others. I also look at the spirit of the law(tradition) not the letter of the law.
Regards to All,
DaveH

[Victoriana]

Well said Dave. Spirit of the law is exactly right.
I witnessed something at a meeting last night that made me think of this thread. A lady came in after about 10 mins after the meeting had started and said she was so sorry to interrupt but she was an addict and not an alcoholic but she was really struggling right now. Could she please join us. The number of people that welcomed her astounded me. Nobody turned her away or made a negative comment. At the end of the meeting a whole crowd of us gave her phone numbers and expressed the desire that she attend regularly.
This is the giving spirit at work. This is the Higher Power showing us the way.