Easier, Faster Way?

[HomecomingQueen89]

I have a question that I hope won't ruffle too many feathers...it's an honest but probably stupid question...

Is it possible to be in AA and not "work the steps", and still have a successful recovery--as in, a long-lasting and happy recovery---not a "dry drunk" or white knuckling it, I guess is what I mean? I'm asking because I'm not sure I quite understand what "working" the steps really means. Why should it take a long time to work them? And can I work them out of order, assuming I'm 100% comfortable admitting my powerlessness over alcohol (which has taken me SIX YEARS...that one, I can understand!) I guess I'm just a little lost here...any help will be so appreciated...

[Leadfoot]

Sure! Of course it does ruffle my feathers a little but that doesn't mean we can't get along. Reason being is this. Alcoholics Anonymous is about Alcoholics helping Alcoholics. Along with the fact that Alcoholics Anonymous has only one program of recovery and that is the twelve steps.
Let's fast forward a year or two and an alcoholic wanders in and needs twelve step recovery. What do you have to offer? How can you be of maximum service? Tradition 5 states that our primary purpose is to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. The message is you need a Spiritual Awakening as a result of the twelve steps to relieve your alcoholism. Will you be able to carry this message if you've never taken the steps?
Then, Alcoholics Anonymous becomes a place to go. It was intended to be a way you live your life.
None of this is my opinion either. This is fact right out of the book.
This is also right out of the book.
"If you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps".

[zoomie]

Some people can just go to AA and not work the steps. I worked the steps early in my sobrety and concentrait on the last three steps if I can. I only help out the new commer on the board and not at meetings. I don't help out at meetings because I only have 5 years and it seems that the people with more time jump all over the new commer and us less than 15 years don't have a chance LOL. I'm not hard core AA meaning I don't know the big book inside and out,nor shove it down people's throats. I know that I'm powerless over alcohol, if I'm wrong admit it, and I sometimes pray. My life is full and I'm busy living life, so I don't go to meetings everyday, just a couple times a week. It's all about ballance. I have a sponcer that I talk to sometimes. She is busy living life too and we walk the path together instead of her up front. What comes to mind is "take what you want and leave the rest." There is nothing wrong with knowing the steps and big book inside out and nothing wrong with going to meetings every day, just as there is nothing wrong with living life on life's terms and using meetings and and the steps in a general way. One thing I did do early in recovery was take suggestions and go to 90/90, get a sponcer and work them steps,then once you have a foundation you can build your own house. I also had to seek outside help because for me AA was not a cure all. I still had issues that I needed to address with a professional. Good luck and keep coming back!

[DaveH]

No ruffled feathers here, and I don't believe any honest question is ever stupid. I could have not figured out what my problems really were, if it had not been for the 12 steps. As the BB points out, drinking is just a symptom of our problem. If you have been able to figure out all the other stuff and remain sober, content, and free, then good for you. I tried just attending AA and it didn't work for me. I was fortunate in getting a sponsor who led me through the 12 steps at nearly the same speed as the oldtimers did. What really helped me understand what working the 12 steps meant was a sponsor who had done them along with the AA 12 & 12 book. Best wishes on your journey.
Regards,
DaveH

[BIG AL]

I asked the same question also.Do I have to work the steps.The only dunb answer is the one not asked.My sponsor told me this.Depending on how sick you are you can only stay sober but so long without the step(particually the 4th and the 5th step.But we have to work them in order.I am not to sure about the people someone mentioned that stay in AA and dont work the steps.You usually dont see them long becouse they go out.The step are desingned to do 2 things clean house and get to know god.They are humbling when you work them.By working them we mean there is action in the steps.some writing some require footwork others are a inside job that you have to get honest with yourself to work.The big book says we almost never like the selflevelling and humility that it takes to work the steps.Hang in there and get a sponsor.My feathers are not ruffled either but the day is still early:3:

[sioux]

Sure, you could do that. Problem with sobering up a horse theif is that you typically get a sober horse theif. I was a lying cheating manipulating drunk. After you took my booze away, I had no idea how to live amongst the productive members of our society with the survival skills I had perfected as an active alcoholic.

Taking the steps is different than "working" the steps. I had to have a personality change and a spiritual awakening. That's what the steps brought to the table which have ensured both my physical and emotional recovery from alcoholism.

And, I have seen many in the rooms refuse, blatantly and subtly, to embrace our lifestyle and all that it is. The great thing about character defects is that we can perfect those too, and if you aren't willing to stop practicing them, they will not be lifted.

And, I have seen those very folks get drunk after 6 months upwards of 22 years. Two blew their heads off because they weren't going to take a drink no matter what (unfortunate as a drink may have led them back to recovery -- now there is no chance), one has cried for the last 15 years about "loosing" their 15 years and their inability to put together a year of continuious sobriety, another could no longer rationalize her cheating on her husband and other dark areas of her life, and had to medicate which took her back to the bottle....on and on it goes. And all of them cited the "only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking" constantly.

I love these people because they don't know how high a price they pay so that I can watch them and make my own decision. I don't want to go where they have gone, so my hat is off to all of them for showing me what will happen if I go where they go.

I want to stay sober and live to all good purposes. I want the Promises to come true in my life. I want to be free from the bondage of self. This is why I take these steps into my life daily.

[Joplinfrk]

No ruffled feathers here either! My opinion, and it's just that..mine: Why do something half way? That's a non sober way to live. The steps are there to get you through the hard times. If you just show up at the meetings and say a few words and go home, that's not working the program and you are almost doomed to "fail". Give it a shot..they are steps not just to stay sober but it's a way of life, too!
Welcome to the board!

[annalittlebit]

I actually started doing the steps to humor my AA friends---Really didn't think it was a neccessay part of my recovery----I was very wrong----Once I started doing them I was amazed before I was half way through--literally-----I feel that a person robs themselves of a valuabe growing experience by sidestepping them---Mind you, that's just in my opinion---And if you choose to do them you'll understand the reason for the order----Regardless, I'm glad you're here and do hope that you keep coming back!!!!!

[Mycool]

I have no feathers to ruffle,and very little hair for that matter. I think there are two parts to your question. One is can you get sober and stay sober without AA,maybe. Many people do,many people don't. If you belong and attend AA meetings,which I do as part of my recovery,why not work the steps? If nothing else it'll be an exercise in self-discipline which most (all) alcoholics need. It is also about self-knowledge, treading and sharing a well worn path to recovery and many other things. If you do the steps why not do them in order? They're set upto be stepping stones to the next step. One exception for me is step 11. I was doing meditation long before I did AA and I'm not about to stop. If I had one thing to change about AA steps it would be after each step is described I'd add see step11,we always need prayer and meditation. OK, one more thing I'd change,clarification between spirituality and religion. I thinkI'm a very spiritual person but also an agnostic,I'm a Spiritual Agnostic. I find the chapter to the agnostics a little condenscending,and Bill,God love him and me too,I don't think was clear enoughj on the concept. OK,great now I've probably ruffled a few feathers,me and my big mouth. As planned whoever,AA is a big enough life boat for all of us.

In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's mind there are few. Shunryu Suzuki

[jobongos]

yessiree buddy .............. once i had proven over and over that i didnt "have" to do the steps and realized that i was still just a selfish , judgemental fool ..( i never was a horsethief) i drank and used some more ,... then one day i heard something , a friend said . " ya know i dont have to do this , i "get" to do this" , i have been invited and allowed into one of the greatest parties around .. one of the greatest and most inspiring, ongoing conversations ever.. exactly what i had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in bars and dope parties looking for.. i dont "work" the steps . i live the principles i learn thru them.. it aint work , any more , it is a pleasure , an honor.. i could go to a bar or a party and continue to look for the kind of person i want to be , or the kind of person i want to hang out with , and not drink ..... but whyyyyyy?? doing what so many others before me have done is working , i am socializing ....learning to be a member of society , not sittin outside it whining and complaining and looking for loopholes .. its just a simple program of action for lazy complicated people ... try it , ya might like it ... the old guys would work the steps in a few days , before they had even left the hospital or drunk tank ... and from there put it into action , ... thats where the fellowship comes in.. i mean whats the difference between this and where we came from.. we learned how to drink and drug our first few times there , and then put it into action.. and before long we were helping newcomers learn to mix a stiff one , roll a tight one , and chop a line ............. well that went nowhere fast ha ha .. just doin the same thing with a much better outcome , and is exactly what i was wanting in the beginning .. i too was put off by the big book thumpers and those who attack this thing like it is a new found holy rollin religion ....... if that works , fine ... but for me , i just wanted to be real , to be stimulated , to be accepted , to be whole .. to be able to be independent , but also not afraid of asking for help , and giving help when i could , and had something to give .. you dont have to believe what i believe , you dont have to do what i do , but i offer my experience ... hard earned .. and my strength , building daily , and my hope ............ i got some , alot .. take what ya want leave the rest .. its here , its free , it works ................