What are we doing?

[BIG AL]

I was tired today.Been putting alot of hours in at the plant.And as I was sitting in the smoke bench outside a co-worker came and sat down.We got to talking and long story short he use to be a member of AA.And it got me to thinking(wich is never good).If he can do it why cant I.What am I doing here in AA?Am I an alky or did I just have a few problems in life and go through a bad patch for awhile.Is AA a lie have we been sold on something we want or I dont need.Why cant I get drunk.But it occured to me that this kind of thinking may be alcholic thinking.Becouse how many normal people want to drink to get drunk.I didnt just think of having a couple of beers I thought get drunk.Maybe now that I have more responsibility and more things to lose I would drink different.But no-one I have talked to in AA who have gone out to drink have said they have had a good time.Actually.There are 2 guys at work who have been to AA and drink responsibily now.If blows my mind and makes me want to be like them.One who actually went through the same jailhouse treatment center I went to.Are there people out there that just go to AA find out they are not an alky and end up drinking socially and hold it together.Or is it a lie that really inside they are dieing and wish they were like me.What yall think?:idea:

[Mycool]

We're all different and at different places, it can be a fine line between alcohol abuse and addiction. I'm sure there are some in AA who are abusers not alcoholics, just like there are alcoholics who are not in AA. For me, I accept the first step and no longer choice to roll the dice. Once upon a time after my longest perod of sobriety, I thought "One drink can't hurt." That drink lasted for 5 years. I am today 100 days sober, and I don't care if Jesus Christ himself turned my glass of water into wine.I'd get his autograph, then pour the wine down the toilet where it belongs.

“Although traumatic and terrible things have occurred, it is the individual’s mind that perpetuates suffering, and that can be trained to change. As long as we are struggling against the feeling, hoping to eliminate it by getting high or being cured, we are still attached. We can relieve un-satisfactoriness only by sharpening our focus and changing our perspective.”—Mark Epstein, M.D.

[Leadfoot]

For me, when I took step one it was because I had seen enough. From time to time I would quit drinking, go to AA and admit that I was powerless.
Then when my ass wasn't on fire anymore I would all of the sudden feel that my "Power" had returned and things would be different this time. I was delusional. Did my feeling of Powerlessness go away or was I just BSing myself? I can't be the only one that thinks like this. This has happened to all of us. Most of us it has happened to more than once.
The Book says to go try some controlled drinking. Duh!! I think I had tried that countless hundreds of times before I even opened the book. It didn't work.
I am still powerless and my ass isn't on fire and it hasn't been for years.
AA really isn't about quitting drinking like I thought it was when I first came in. Turns out that we're just going for the Spiritual Awakening described in the book and the removal of our desire to drink is just a fortunate by-product. Really!
Pg85
We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us.

Right there!!! "It just Happens"! If it didn't "Just Happen", wouldn't the book say something like, "Finally after trying and trying we finally shook our obsession"? It doesn't!
It starts here,
#12 Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

So the problem is gone. For me to wish I could drink is like saying I wish I wasn't an alcoholic so I could drink as much as I want. I'm really not interested at all. Alcohol means as much to me as the turnips at the Grocery Store.

Are there people out there that just go to AA find out they are not an alky and end up drinking socially and hold it together
Happens all the time!

[Chewi]

All I know is that I am the guy in Chapter 3 of the Big Book. I get worse, never better. I am like someone who has lost her legs--I will never grow new ones. I am in the grips of a progressive disease. I never want to drink normally--I want to be drunk. Once I am drunk I lose all control and end up passed out.

I am in AA because it is a new way to live where I can be happy, joyous and free without the obsession. Some diabetics cannot eat chocolate cake. They must daily manage their diets and their disease. As an alcoholic, I cannot drink alcohol and I must daily manage my spiritual well-being and my disease.

When I stick with the program it is very simple and freeing. When I go out an drink, I become a physical and spiritual wreck.

My alcoholic mind gets envious of the person who can drink. I get jealous of those who order that beer or glass of wine with dinner. My alcoholic mind tries to take me back there. But it is not what they have that I really want. I want to be the sneaky drunk who drinks and lies and gets drunk because I want to (self-centered instead of God-centered).

I don't want to listen to that alcoholic mind anymore. It will take me to insanity and probably death.

What other people do is really not any of my business. Whether they can drink "normally" or not, they have to decide for themselves. My firm belief is that an ALCOHOLIC cannot learn to drink like a "normal" person. If they can drink like a normal person, they were probably never alcoholic.

This is something we know each person has to decide for themselves. Some alcoholics may need some convincing or an intervention -- but we know the decision to admit our alcoholism and get and stay sober must come from within and must occur as a spiritual awakening, giving control to our Higher Power.

Just my opinion and thanks for letting me share. God bless!

[skyhook]

At the end of the day, we train and run our races alone.

Our penalty for failure or our prize for success will be revealed.

We are, after all, what we do,... so choose your race carefully.

[sioux]

"I was tired today." Yes, Big Al, that's when the doubt and uncertainty crops up in my mind. I have heard that the only improvement on the line, "cunning, baffeling, powerful" would be...patient. My alcoholism is a subtle foe, when my defenses are down and my emotions are high because I am hungry, angry, lonely, tired, to excess, I have some really big choices to make. Eat, rest, talk to another healthy person, make contact with the Creator for courage and strength to practice sanity. Otherwise, a lot of good people are going to get hurt by my bad business of practicing my disease.

[BIG AL]

Today is a new day.Got some rest and made a sober contact.Wasnt able to make a meeting but still around.Sometimes that thinking comes in and can take over really freaks u out.But thanks to all yall for your input.I have been putting alot of hours in at the plant so i get wore down.But I am not going to drink no matter what.I usually go through this about ounce a yr.I get all crazy and start to think a bit of insane thoughts.

[calvin]

Big Al;
I know for me what it means to take that first drink.It opens the door for that monster called alcoholism,to come out along with the pain and,misery.That comes along with it.For me that is the the only thing I need to be concerned about.But I get up in my head to with what if,or maybe if.
I deal with something, that always comes up with something to make me think it's okay to drink,that's the same insane thinking that keep me out there so,long.But you did the right thing and that's to tell on your :Ddisease.

Calvin H.

[Craig A.]

Good topic I thought that way too! It sometimes crepes back but I just look back into my own history and like it has been said I drank to get drunk, not tipsy, not to relax my nerves, I drank to get drunk period. My sponsor told me that A.A. or 12-step programs are not thee only way to get sober it is just one way! I see I needed A.A. to stop drinking and ruining my life, I was reminded that it is the " ism " that is the problem not the alcohol. Put together it makes for a miserable and deadly life for me. SOme people can live like that I can't and choose not to, I look at my life today and I wouldn't exchange it for the strength to just have one drink! A.A. has freed me from the bondage of myself and for that I am forever grateful. Thank you for the reminder!