Angry and feeling alone

[James.F]

Lately ive been getting very irritable,isolated,angry and feeling very alone.I feel im at my wit's end and just can't seem to find any answers.I feel ashamed and embarresed and keeping my feeling's to myself.I am starting to think people are getting tired of hearing the same old crap from me so now i am starting to withdraw which causes me to get even more angry and frustrated.I was asked one time when was the last time i was happy....i could'nt answer that.I don't think ive ever been happy or so called normal and am beginning to believe i was ment to be this way.I'm pissed,angry,irritable,alone,tired and just want it all to go away.Searching for answers but don't know where to search!!!!:angry::question:

[Chewi]

I'm sorry that you're struggling, James. This is what we are here for--pour your feelings out when you need to--we will not get tired of you.

I think in the beginning of sobriety all these feelings are normal. We so often drink to numb ourselves and escape emotion. Then when we quit, we feel all these emotions for the first time in a very long time.

The best advice I can offer is to get to meetings instead of isolating. Sometimes certain meetings are not a good fit. If you are not finding the help and support you need at a certain meeting, then try some others. When I moved, I had to try several different groups until I found the right fit--one that was not judgmental and accepted me with open arms after each relapse (until now I really am done going back out!).

Try reading the AA literature--I always find something about myself in the Big Book as well as suggestions for changing myself and my life.

If you don't have a sponsor, try to find one so you have someone to tell how you feel. Isolation really does lead back to our addiction.

I'm so glad you have shared here.

Also, please remember not to get ahead of yourself. It took you some time to be lost in your addiction and it will take you some time to adjust to life without it. This is where working the AA program--meetings, sponsor, 12 steps--comes in to help you be able to cope with life, with all these emotions.

I know it seems hard as heck right now. But as I told someone yesterday, our addiction, our disease, is a ball and chain in a great big ocean. It is so worth it to break that chain and swim free to the fresh air above.

It does get easier--here and in meetings you will see that experience, strength and hope. The "happy, joyous and free" does come. Our lives do not become perfect. All our problems do not go away. But we learn to deal with them on life's terms. We learn to stand strong instead of crumbling. We make spiritual progress, not perfection.

Don't give up! We are pulling for you. I am praying for you! God bless you today!

[SomeCallMeTim]

Lately ive been getting very irritable,isolated,angry and feeling very alone.I feel im at my wit's end and just can't seem to find any answers.I feel ashamed and embarresed and keeping my feeling's to myself.I am starting to think people are getting tired of hearing the same old crap from me so now i am starting to withdraw which causes me to get even more angry and frustrated.I was asked one time when was the last time i was happy....i could'nt answer that.I don't think ive ever been happy or so called normal and am beginning to believe i was ment to be this way.I'm pissed,angry,irritable,alone,tired and just want it all to go away.Searching for answers but don't know where to search!!!!:angry::question:

It's like looking at a mirror image of myself 47 days ago. After years of being beaten down by this disease of addiction along with beating myself down for being this way i finally found what works for me. Admitting i'm powerless over pretty much everything, becoming willing to accept a power greater than myself, (notice i said becoming willing, i just became willing, that's enough in the beginning) and hitting meetings everyday whether i want to or not. You didn't mention if you're clean/sober and if so how long but try to remember this disease is with us for ever, even if you're sober. It talks to us and tries to keep us miserable and alone. Being aware is half the battle. Don't let it win. :195:

Tim

[sioux]

I have a friend who says that her feelings are just feelings, and they are out to get her. They will take misery as a second close. Whatever her feelings are they are not in charge unless she allows them to be.

I find this true in my own life, and think she has summarized it beautifully. No matter what I am feeling I don't have to act on my feelings or make decisions based on how I feel. I look for facts in my life.

Some facts in my life are that isolation is part of my active disease of alcoholism. I make a concerted effort every day to get out, practice sanity and participate in my AA community, even if my feelings are telling me otherwise.

They steps have helped me change my perspective, and thus I feel differently about myself, my life, others.

I do know too that if I am not sleeping well, eating the right foods for my body, getting a little exercise, and participating in my recovery, taking a break from things that overwhelm me, etc., in other words, if I am not taking care of myself, my disease takes over.

I have to look for solutions. I know what my problems are.

[James.F]

It's like looking at a mirror image of myself 47 days ago. After years of being beaten down by this disease of addiction along with beating myself down for being this way i finally found what works for me. Admitting i'm powerless over pretty much everything, becoming willing to accept a power greater than myself, (notice i said becoming willing, i just became willing, that's enough in the beginning) and hitting meetings everyday whether i want to or not. You didn't mention if you're clean/sober and if so how long but try to remember this disease is with us for ever, even if you're sober. It talks to us and tries to keep us miserable and alone. Being aware is half the battle. Don't let it win. :195:

TimI have been clean for 46 days

[SomeCallMeTim]

I have been clean for 46 days

Congrats!!!! :29:

[BIG AL]

get out an help someone and you will feel better.It will take the focus off yourself.

[dgswilson]

I was going to say "get out an help someone and you will feel better. It will take the focus off yourself". But it looks like Al beat me to it...

It's also useful - if you can't think of a way to help - to make a list of ways you "might" be helpful to others. (1) I could take someone to a meeting (2) I could shake someones hand at a meeting and say Hi (3) I could call, so and so, as and ask how they're doing - then listen - and listen (4) I could read something, or learn something or...that might help someone some day. It's in the list. The principles work through the activity of shifting the focus from "me" to "be helpful". This is the tried and true method. It is something that every great teaching teaches...

Hey Al, it's nice here in Texas huh? I'm just north of Fort Worth. It cooled off to 73 last night. North winds or keeping the humidity down.

[BIG AL]

Shut its 101 here hot hot and more hot.But I been working nights and the temp. is around 75 most nights so I been good.I go back to days next week so do a little temp go down dance for me.:12:

[Craig A.]

Those are the feelings that you have been stuffing down with alcohol/drugs, remember alcohol/drugs were not the problem, they are the symptom. I drank to escape from my self, when I sobered up it was hard to realize I was not my feelings yhey were scewed, twisted, I had to talk to healthy members who understood and had compassion what I was going through! It does get better ,this too shall pass! When you have a sponsor and start working the steps you will be feeling better one day at a time, keep going to meetings, share what is inside of you because if you don't you might believe the lie again ( whatever that lie is for you--it will be different this time, at least you were numb, you can handle it now, etc... ), Keep in mind this only a one day at a time program, stay connected you are worth it! God Bless and take care!!!

[dgswilson]

Hows it going now? Any changes? I don't know if I've got "email me when someone writes" but I'm pretty easy to get a hold of. Put a dot com on the end of my user name and stick it in a search bar.

I don't know what you were on, but I was pissed off and miserable for at least a couple of months. I slept 4 hours without waking, finally, at 90 days. Some things just have to be waited out. I've been looking at a lot of studies on the brain and nutrition. Fastest way to torque a brain is by eating the wrong stuff. Lot's of things to do when we don't escape with chemicals.

No matter what we do we aren't going to get anywhere. There's no where to go. We can move from cold to warm, flat to hilly. But that's just moving. Wanting to be something different, wanting to get to that place where we're "being" something different, is frustrating and fruitless. We just are...

Talk when ready. I'm always here...Where I am.