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MichelleW
07-22-2009, 05:52 AM
Hi. It's been awhile since I posted. I haven't been going too bad though, for the past six weeks. Well, three weeks ago I had four standard drinks one day, but I managed to stop at that. Other than that, there's been no drinking.

I caught a cold a few weeks ago. What surprised me is that I was able to have cough medicine around the house with alcohol in it but not feel like drinking a whole bottle, because in the past I've drunk cough medicine, mouthwash, even worse than that, when desperate. I actually didn't think about the alcohol content until after I'd bought it, and was a bit worried that maybe it'd 'trigger' me, but fortunately it didn't.

Actually, I feel very positive. I've changed my anti-depressant medication and that seems to have helped a bit. Also, I started on the birth control pill to counter my PMS (which seemed to intensify my cravings for alcohol a great deal every month).

So hopefully things are looking up. This is by far the best I've managed to do this year.

I went to a few more AA meetings in the city but don't think it is really feasible for me to continue. I am still making use of online meetings and AA literature though (a friend overseas sent me a few AA books as a very kind gift!) I also ordered a book called 'Staying Sober' by Terence Gorski and that's been very helpful for me, in becoming more aware of my own relapse process and how to break the cycle.

I'm still occasionally having problems managing feelings that have been previously numbed through drinking though - at times I seem to have a tremendous amount of anger. I was with my family on Monday and suddenly had an outburst. They kind of let me vent and did not make a big deal out of it, but I didn't feel really great about it afterwards.

I have tried to explain some of what I am going through with my mother, and she tries to understand, but I think it is very hard for her to relate to. While my father was a very heavy drinker at one point, she's the sort of person who when she goes out orders just a little light beer and drinks only half of it. It just doesn't appeal to her much. Now that I find hard to relate to!

I'd say about 90% of the time I'm fine. But I also seem to have a side to me which can be frankly quite dark, pessimistic, very short on patience etc (I have also been diagnosed with mild bipolar). I've realised I can be very self-centered and tend to think that the whole world revolves around me, me, me all the time. If I can't get something my own way... I get very frustrated and can throw a petulant fit.

These days though, when I begin feeling overwhelmed, instead of heading straight to the bar I tend to just want to hide under the quilts for a few hours. That's what I do. Maybe it's only avoiding or deferring dealing with what's at hand but I suppose it must be preferable to doing the alternative.

Well, that's the update. Sorry I haven't been in touch, I was just starting to get very demoralized after struggling for so much of this year. To anyone else who may be in the same situation though - keep trying, it does get easier, and there are increasing intervals of time between the difficult days, which really do make it all worthwhile. I know I can't ever be complacent though, I'm by no means 'cured', and I know there is still a long way for me to go...

Chewi
07-22-2009, 08:50 AM
Hi Michelle. Thanks for coming back and sharing. That anger is so normal in the beginning. In quitting alcohol, we actually go through a grieving process. All those same emotions well up. All those emotions we've been stuffing all those years. Reading the literature, meetings, getting a sponser and working the steps starts giving us the coping mechanisms we need. Helping someone else so we get our minds off ourselves.

I have finally taken myself out of the relapse revolving door (one day at a time). Going back out no longer works for me (as if it ever did!) and I have grown to despise that person I become.

Keep coming back and so glad you are not giving up and moving forward: spiritual progress not perfection.

MichelleW
07-23-2009, 03:04 AM
Thanks Chewi. I agree that it's a grief process. It was very difficult for me to detach and let go at the start of the year, with nearly my every waking thought centered it seemed around alcohol. Thank goodness that voice is now getting quieter, day to day, though I know I cannot afford to get complacent about it.

I think that I'm finally beginning to accept that I can't drink, and don't want that voice anymore. Despite my episode three weeks ago, I'm not thinking of trying to go out and drink 'moderately' again. I know that obsessing about being able to drink moderately, as I have done for much of this year, is a sign of the problem for me. Sometimes I manage to drink in moderation but my record is unreliable.

Freetobe11702
07-23-2009, 03:33 AM
:smile:Today is the day at hand , Thank you for sharing. Your doing what you can. Please don't beat yourself up any more just let theGod/HigherPower of Your Understanding be your all in each day you are given.
Be Good to Yourself,
Jeff H.

Chewi
07-24-2009, 12:00 PM
The obsession becomes a raging war withing my head. Drink/don't drink, drink/don't drink.... It rages and rages until I get so worked up I have to drink to relieve the war. Then I have to drink enough to forget the war.

The only way I am free of this battle in my head, this bondange, this obsession, is to give myself absolutely to the program of AA. I fought it for a long time. But my Higher Power has given me this gift of this program that knows me, understands me and supports me. By doing daily spiritual work, I can rid myself of the obsession.

By using the tools of the program, meetings, literature, calling someone, prayer, I can keep the obsession at bay. If I ease up on my program, the drink starts to romance me again like a bad old boyfriend coming back with champagne and roses. I must do the foot work and accept the help and support. I must remember where the alcohol takes me before that old boyfriend beats me up one more time.

When I use those tools, I can fight off that old obsession. I can be happy, joyous and free. I can be grateful for my health and all provision by my HP.

Thanks for all your great shares--they remind me and help me!

jobongos
07-25-2009, 09:35 PM
go go .............. keep it up , u doing great , new life awaits..................

ciamamo
07-26-2009, 12:17 AM
HI THERE. I READ YOUR MESSAGE AND THX FOR SHARING. IVE BEEN SOBER GOING ON FOUR YEARS AND HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF IM STILL A NEWCOMER. AND YOUR STORY AND COUNTLESS OF OTHER NEWCOMERS HELP ME TO STAY SOBER. I REMEMBER MOST OF WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT EXCEPT FOR ABUSING COUGH MEDICINE. IM A COCAINE ADDICT AS WELL AND FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND IM ONLY AS SICK AS MY SECRETS. MY PROGRAM CONSIST OF A DAILY INVENTORY. OH MAN! MY SPONSOR HAD TOLD ME MANY TIMES THAT THIS TOOL WOULD BE A GREAT ASSET TO MY RECOVERY AND IT HAS PROVEN TO BE TRUE. WHEN I AM RESETNFUL AND AM SORE LATER ON ITS BECAUSE USUALLY I HAVENT TAKEN CARE OF MYSELF IN THE MOMENT IN A HEALTHY MANNER. SOMETIMES IM THERE AND WHEN I DIDNT HAVE A PROGRAM I WAS NEVER THERE. IM BEGINNING TO LOVE AND LIVE WITH MYSELF AND ALSO CREATE BRIDEGES TO THE HUMAN RACE. HA! BUT YESS KEEP ON TRUDGING THE ROAD TO HAPPY DESTINY. ITS WORTH IT! GOD FIRST ALWAYS AND MAYBE IT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW BUT IT IS THE GREATEST AND I WOULD NOT GIVE IT UP FOR NOTHING. NOT TODAY AT LEAST.

MichelleW
07-26-2009, 03:24 AM
Ciamoma you're right, it is worth it. I know I still have my 'off days', but if someone had told me at the start of this year that I could feel as good as I do now, without alcohol, I would never have believed them. There are times when I probably feel better mentally and emotionally than I have in a few years, though still a bit jittery maybe. At first I thought maybe it was the pink cloud but I've been feeling quite well most of the time for more than a month now... it's like the unthinkable has happened, really.

What seemed to trigger my last binge 6 weeks or so ago was a sort of panic attack - I lost it and blew up with a guy in my local supermarket, in front of everyone. I only go there now when he's not working there - late hours or weekends. I actually used to drink and kid around with him once at my pub, but now I just seem to find him really annoying.

Anyway, when I look back at this panic episode, I was already feeling resentful about a few things I guess before I even went into the shop. I'd also been off my anti-depressants for awhile because I was changing to another type.

The old anti-depressants seemed to stop me getting upset and agitated, but I couldn't seem to feel anything else either - just very blank and numb, neither really happy nor sad. It didn't really feel right and even my psychiatrist said I had virtually no emotional expression whatsoever. I've changed now to what they call an MAOI, and it seems to be agreeing better.

Learning new coping mechanisms and how to face life sober can be a challenge but sometimes, I am enjoying the new moments of clarity - rediscovering my identity without the alcohol clouding it over.

I haven't had another panic episode luckily, right now I'm trying to work on building up my mental strength so that I can cope okay (hopefully) if any crisis situations emerge in the future.

I didn't become an immediate alcoholic. I only started drinking in my late twenties (I'm 36 now). For the first few years, I was actually able to limit it to just one or two drinks per day. It just seemed to creep up on me gradually but twice last year I was admitted to a psychiatric ward and when I tried to stop was getting DTs. I'd lost my ability to moderate completely. I realise now that the alcohol was really only exacerbating my depression and anxiety, like a vicious cycle.

Sometimes this year I've been able to drink moderately a few times (when I had the four drinks a few weeks ago, I really didn't feel like having any more than that, I just felt tired and as if I wanted to sleep, though it was just mid-afternoon). But it doesn't seem to last long, only a week or two, before the mental obsession is back really bad and I'm binging again. Just not worth it really. Maybe if I'd put in more controls a few years ago, I could have stayed a 'normal' drinker, but I don't see myself being able to return to it now.

Anyhow, thanks for listening to my long ramble, and I may go read some other posts now.

Rockin Big Daddy
07-28-2009, 10:45 AM
COMMITMENT

"One small step for a man ~
One giant leap for mankind."
Neil Armstrong




When I came into program, I was very overwhelmed by the idea of commitment. The thought of committing to a food plan or exercise regime was more than I could comprehend; in fact, I would feel panic rising in me at the thought of it. I would have dreams of being a mouse caught in a corner with nowhere to run. I would throw in the proverbial monkey wrench after a short time, and soon be on my own turf ... the desperation and depression which were my "old friends" would reappear, and I would be back into my "safe" and always-waiting disease.

This recovery program taught me "one day at a time;" it taught me to put one foot in front of the other; that for one day I could do what I couldn't do, or even fathom doing, for a lifetime. This is how I found abstinence. Breaking up my days, weeks, months and years into 24-hour periods allows me to live in the now, and not feel swallowed up in thinking that I have to do this for the rest of my life.

One Day at a Time . . .
The steps may seem small, it may even look as though I'm not moving at all, but with God's help I make giant leaps toward wellness and peace of mind.


__________________
"...the process of discovering who I really am begins with knowing who I really don't want to be ."