Daily Reprieve - Sept

[janbear]

“AFRESH EACH DAY”



“See to it that your relationship with Him is right...” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 164



“God's mercies begin afresh each day.” Lamentations 3: 23


For what it's worth: My relationship with God was pitiful during my drinking days. I believed it was His condemnation of me, but sober in Alcoholics Anonymous I saw it was because of me. Alcoholism and I built all manner of barricades against God, so improvement in our relationship is due to His mercy, not anything on my part. I am deeply grateful for His compassionate love because everything in my life depends upon my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I am so often weak maintaining a bond with Him. I have to go to Him nearly every day, saying “here I am again Lord”. I tell Him I am sorry for what I have done and what I have failed to do, and we discuss ways I can improve. He never grows tired of our meetings, nor complains about my weaknesses. I am so grateful that His loving mercy begins “afresh each day."



God bless you.



Joe W

[janbear]

RUNNING BACK



"But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 86



"Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful. He will not be angry. He is filled with love and will not punish you." Joel 2:13



For what it's worth: The suffering was God's punishment, not alcoholism. I lived in that insane denial for years, tormenting myself and cursing God for his harsh judgment. Yet, it was His mercy that saved me. He did not chastise me. He was not angry with me. Instead, His love carried me to Alcoholics Anonymous, where he knew I would return to Him. And, over the years of my sobriety, with God's grace and the Twelve Steps, I have done just that. Still, though, I can drift back into remorse and morbid reflection and get lost in a spiritually dry desert. During those times it is difficult to be with God, and relapse is closer than I admit. I need to keep praying and stay active in my recovery. That always brings me running back to my Heavenly Father. I jump right up in His lap, and listen as He holds me and whispers His unconditional love.




God bless you.



Joe W.

[bluidkiti]

A BLESSING IN DISGUISE



"The insidiousness of alcoholism is an appalling thing." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 382, (4th Edition)



"Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, have never abandoned anyone who searches for you." Psalm 9: 10



For what it's worth: Insidious alcoholism and built-in mistrust combined to create an empty, agonizing soul. Blinded by denial, I could not see the cause, but I could feel the deep inner pain that drove me to seek relief in Alcoholics Anonymous. There, with the drink gone, I was able to see the problem and was given a way out of my agony. During my painful searching years, many people told me I needed to have God in my life. But I could not trust, so how? The caring, sober drunks in Alcoholics Anonymous told me how. Living the Twelve Steps one day at a time was the answer. Applying that solution for years now, my soul overflows with joy...most days. On the other days, my soul survives by trusting God loves me too much to ever abandon me. Those days are a blessing in disguise, building even more trust in His love.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[bluidkiti]

GOD GIVES HIS POWER



"Here was power to live to the end of any given day, power to have the courage to face the next day…" Alcoholics Anonymous page 386 (4th Edition)



"He is mighty in both power and understanding." Job 36:5



For what it's worth: God wanted nothing to do with me. I had disappointed Him too often. That false belief kicked off many a drunk. But God had not despised me, He rescued me. I began to believe He must understand me and really care about me. After all, He put His Power to work to lift me from the waste of alcoholism. Then He gave me to Alcoholics Anonymous for reclamation. He provides me strength to survive the dark days, gratitude to add brilliance to the bright days, and courage to face tomorrow no matter what the prospect. It is difficult for me to understand why He cares so deeply about me. I dearly appreciate it! Have I told Him today?



God bless you.



Joe W.

[bluidkiti]

MOTIVES



“He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts.” 1 Corinthians 4:5



“…We should carefully examine our motives in each thought or act that appears to be wrong.” 12&12 p.94



For what it's worth: My motives were clear back in my drinking days. But a sober conscience complicated things. Thank God for the tenth Step in Alcoholics Anonymous. I need that Step to uncover my real motives. I do it now or later; and, later will be rough enough, because I may be asked to re-visit all that I have done and failed to do – motive and action.



God bless you!



Joe W.

[bluidkiti]

MANGLED PRIDE



"Most ...have to be pretty badly mangled before they really commence to solve their problems." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 43



"I was facing death, and then He saved me. Psalm 116: 6



For what it's worth: Alcohol mangled me long before I attempted to solve my problem. I was too proud to ask for help. I had to be near death before I had enough humility to walk through the door to my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I thought I was simply seeking relief, but God saw my desperate need. Since then He has been granting me all manner of blessings that I believed I would never enjoy. His goodness to me has been way beyond how good I have been to Him. So, why do I still tend to wait until I am mauled before I run to my Heavenly Father's arms? Is pride still blocking me? I continue to beg His help with this, and I certainly appreciate His patience.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[bluidkiti]

THE PAY IS GREAT



"Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?" Alcoholics Anonymous, page 76



"Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit." 2 Corinthians 7:1



For what it's worth: By the time I reached Alcoholics Anonymous, the deep seated defects and insecurity already present had made it easy for alcohol to defile my body and spirit. I would have to dig deep to uproot all that was objectionable. Had I known how deep, I may never have picked up the shovel. I thank God Alcoholics Anonymous gave me access to a tool shed, plenty of people to help, and the motivation of The Promises. I have been digging for many sober years and plan to continue, being careful to dig deep enough to get the entire root of the problem. I find that the pay is great. Retirement is even better!



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

GROW THROUGH IT



“...We are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 88



“When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs, where pools of blessing collect after the rains!” Psalm 84: 6



For what it's worth: Instead of facing reality when it was rough, I escaped into the bottle. Of course, when I came back from oblivion reality was still there, always worse. Now, sober in Alcoholics Anonymous, I can face reality without the drink, no matter how severe. Recovery has given me options I never had before. Most significantly, I have a Higher Power who loves to help. When I stop to ask and get my ways out of His way, God comes up with creative ideas I never could have imagined. Now, when life’s struggles begin, I run to God for answers and strength. When the battle ends, even if wounded, I know who won because, with my Heavenly Father’s grace, I will have grown through it rather than shrink from it.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

LIFE IN THE LIGHT



“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps...” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 60



“He restores my soul.” Psalm 23:3


For what it's worth: After years of drinking and blocking God out of my life, my soul was dead and dark. No human power could have restored it. That is why God sent me to Alcoholics Anonymous for restoration. His grace joined with the one-day-at-a-time spiritual power of the Twelve Steps has been "a way where there was no way" for my once dark, decayed soul to awaken to light and life. I have lived both, death in the darkness of alcoholism and life in the light of God's grace, so I know the difference is so amazingly brilliant and improved that words cannot describe it. But I do know how to say “thank you”, and I do that every day.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

POWER FOR THE POWERLESS



But there is One who has all power--that One is God. May you find Him now! Alcoholics Anonymous, page 59



If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Romans 8:31


For what it's worth: My powerlessness was caused by alcoholism and by throwing God out of my life. Both needed change if I were to avoid the depths of hell. But I was afraid to face God. And alcohol had to beat me to the ground before my pride allowed me to reach up to Alcoholics Anonymous. There my alcoholism was arrested and I found a God who did not punish me for my transgressions. Instead, when I reached up to Him, He wrapped his arms around me, pulled me up and held me tight. Throughout my years in recovery, my Heavenly Father has held me close and carried me over life's crevasses. So, what is there to fear? In His arms, no matter how weak I may feel, I have power - His.



God bless you.



Joe W.

“Your Heavenly Father will never let you down!”

[janbear]

DOING FOR OTHERS



“Learning to depend upon a higher power and absorb himself in his work with other alcoholics, he remains sober day by day.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 570(572), Appendix III, The Medical View on A.A.



“…Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25:40



For what it's worth: Doing for others was not even considered during my self-absorbed drinking years. But it certainly became important to me after being sober in Alcoholics Anonymous awhile. I learned that it was the best way for a drunk like me to stay sober, so I stayed close to those who worked with others, going with them to institutions and on Twelve Step calls. We were all staying sober. Moreover, we were happy doing for others. So I have continued that way of staying sober throughout my years in Alcoholics Anonymous. I realize, however, I can never do for others what all has been done for me.



God bless you!



Joe W.

[janbear]

HIS “GREEN MEADOWS”



"… Without Him I was lost...." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 13



"...He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd." Matthew 9: 36


For what it's worth: Alcoholism drove me away from everyone, especially God. I had no Shepherd. I wandered around lost and alone until I walked into an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I was too dysfunctional to realize it then, but there I met my Shepherd. He lifted up His lost lamb, held me close to His heart, and carried me to His flock. And still, years later, when I grow "weary and scattered" and wander off into spiritually dry deserts, my Good Shepherd comes after me and carries me along “peaceful streams” back to safety and serenity in His “green meadows”.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

HIS WILL, NOT MINE



“We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 76



“Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” Luke 22:42



For what it's worth: There was no willingness during my active alcoholism, except for that next drink. Once I was sober in Alcoholics Anonymous, it seemed all I heard was about willingness being indispensable. But, in my weakness, I had to ask God for help to be willing in just about everything that required willingness. Now I can be willing in the easy and usually even the heavy and difficult. I must admit, when it is real tough, I ask God for a break, and, if none comes, I beg Him to make me want His will, not mine.



God bless you!



Joe W.

[janbear]

MERCY



"...We ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 86


"Lord, how great is your mercy; in your justice, give me back my life." Psalm 119: 156


For what it's worth: Alcoholism stole my life. I was forced into a miserable self-centered existence, alone, insecure, and afraid of God. I had severely disappointed Him and even cursed Him. When I finally but reluctantly came to Alcoholics Anonymous, I was too diseased to appreciate what was happening, but looking back I realize I sensed God’s presence there, and I was frightened. But the people and the atmosphere there were so warm and welcoming; I stayed and found hope my life might be given back. And, indeed, it has been. Even more rewarding, Alcoholics Anonymous people taught me about a loving, forgiving God, and I slowly came to believe He would forgive me. And, indeed, He has. But my weaknesses, my defects, keep trying to steal my life again and throw me back into that miserable self-centered existence. I am grateful I have been given the Twelve Steps, especially Steps 6, 7, and 10 where I find God’s benevolence and forgiveness. I can not count the times my Higher Power has extended His love and mercy and protected the precious spiritual life that selfish distractions try to steal from me.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

WHAT A DIFFERENCE



"Your Heavenly Father will never let you down!" Alcoholics Anonymous, page 181



"The one thing I know - God is for me!" Psalm 56:9



For what it’s worth: God was against me and I did not trust Him. I blamed Him, not the alcohol, for my misery. I realized how wrong I was only after I was sober for years in Alcoholics Anonymous when I found a Higher Power, my Heavenly Father. He has proven His love repeatedly, especially during times when it seems the stormy days just keep coming. Trusting God’s love is a significant change down deep in my soul. It keeps me trudging when I don't feel like trudging. It keeps me intact when I feel like I'm falling apart. It is my soul's warmth when it feels empty and cold. It is a treasured gift from my Heavenly Father. What a difference it is to know He is for me and will never let me down!



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

FRIENDS



“...To watch loneliness vanish...to have a host of friends...” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 89



“No one cares what happens to me.” Psalm 142: 4


For what it's worth: There was no one left to care. My drunken behavior had driven everyone away except the cockroaches that resided at my little hellhole in Baltimore. And they did not care. The agony of that aloneness is still vivid in my memory. That is why I treasure having “a host of friends" as I do in Alcoholics Anonymous. And an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting is a healthy place to go to be with them. They always accept me just as I am, and that is another priceless gift. God is so kind to this once miserable, lonely, worthless drunk!



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

GROWING UP



“(Recovery) has enabled me to go back and start growing up all over again in all areas of my life.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 420 (Third Edition)



“But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” 1 Corinthians 13: 11


For what it's worth: Alcohol poured on top of my emotional immaturity created an eruption that blasted burning coals over everyone and every thing in my life. Insanely, I drank more alcohol to stop the fires. No wonder I ended up alone with the Baltimore cockroaches. Thank God and Alcoholics Anonymous, the alcohol and cockroaches are gone. I was blessed to be able to start over and I am no longer alone. However, I am still growing up. Childish responses to life on life's terms can stubbornly persist and "his majesty, the baby" in me acts out. I am grateful to be able to identify the stubborn, little kid and to have some "Oh, grow up!" tools to use on him.





God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

REMOVING FEAR



“We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 68



“God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7



For what it's worth: For the early part of my life and throughout my drinking years, fear and all its ugly forms controlled me. And I was blind to it. Working the Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous opened my eyes, especially Step Four. The fear I found was too big for me, so I have asked my Higher Power for help, and we are gradually removing fear. As the fear goes, I grow. And it is remarkable how empowered I feel as God’s grace fills all the space in my being that fear occupied.



God bless you!



Joe W.

[janbear]

GOD WASTES NO PAIN



"Adversity truly introduces us to ourselves." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 530, Fourth Edition



"After you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation." 1 Peter 5:10


For what it's worth: Denial did not allow me to see that the agony in my life was created by my drinking. I believed God was punishing me, and like the child I was, I was angry. Years of mixing alcohol with anger produced a raging inner torment that drove me to seek relief. That turned out to be a blessing from God, placing me in Alcoholics Anonymous with hope of change. But, had I known the severity of growing pain necessary to change, I do not believe I would have endured. Fortunately, without me knowing it, God carried me and used what I suffered to build "a firm foundation" with Twelve Steps leading up to Him. And that was only the beginning. Ever since then, my Heavenly Father has used every adversity to strengthen me, teach me more about myself, and bring me closer to Him. He wastes no pain.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

AT PEACE



“He learns that he can be content as long as he plays well whatever cards life deals him.” 12&12 p.122



“Each man's life is but a breath.” Psalm 39:5



For what it's worth: Alcohol soothed the agony when I lost my fight with life every day. I could not make it be the way I wanted it to be. Once I was alcohol free in Alcoholics Anonymous, I heard about accepting life on life’s terms. The idea sounded good, but how? Years later, I am still not sure how it happened, but I learned acceptance. I know it had a lot to do with coming to believe that I can trust God’s love for me. Being loved, even though I am not playing with a full deck, certainly helps me try to play the cards I have as best I can each day. Additionally, years of fighting and years of accepting have proven to me that accepting is easier. And, when I am mindful that “life is but a breath”, I try a little harder to accept life on life’s terms. When I do, no matter what I face, I am at peace.



God bless you!



Joe W.

[janbear]

WHAT THEY TAUGHT ME



"Words cannot begin to describe the feelings in my heart as I sometimes ponder how much my life has changed, how far I've come, and how much there is yet to discover." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 511, Fourth Edition



"Therefore, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe." Hebrews 12:28


For what it's worth: The good nuns and priests taught me my drunken actions warranted God's punishment. So I lived in despair for years. The sober drunks in Alcoholics Anonymous taught me God was unbelievably merciful and kind to me. And so I live in joy. I pray I demonstrate God’s love to others in gratitude to Him, and to the wise men and women of Alcoholics Anonymous who taught me about Him.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

THE HARD WAY



“We had to learn these things the hard way.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 121



“So correct me, Lord, but please be gentle.” Jeremiah 10: 24


For what it's worth: Defiant and stubborn, arrogant and mistrustful, nearly dead because pride and denial would not allow me to seek help – that was my condition when alcohol finally released me once I was a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I joined the hard way, leaving the Baltimore cockroaches and filth behind. To stay a member and dodge a drunken death, Alcoholics Anonymous showed me I needed to grow up emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. With God’s grace and the Twelve Steps, I have been able to mature somewhat, but just about every inch of growth has been the hard way. Looking back, I see God tried to be as gentle and patient with me as He could, but He knew the hard way is the certain course for me to learn and remember what I have learned. And He knew the only school where I would listen enough to learn was in Alcoholics Anonymous with a bunch of tricky and wise drunks as teachers.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

HIS MASTERPIECE



“He saw that he would have to face his problems squarely that God might give him mastery.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 156



“For we are God's masterpiece.” Ephesians 2:10


For what it's worth: If I was God's masterpiece, He was a starving artist; too many blemishes and blank spots on the painting for me to be considered worthwhile. Add the alcohol, and I was merely a smeared canvas, worthless. Miraculously, instead of dying a drunken waste, I was given the most precious gift of my life. Thanks to years of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous, I found the truth - I am God's masterpiece. And I do not want to be satisfied with simply wiping the alcohol off of the campus. I want to repair all of the flaws that deface the masterpiece so that its true value will show and the Artist will be given His due praise.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

THE WAY TO PEACE



"In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 50



"Peace be with you." John 20:19



For what it's worth: There would be no peace. My whole being was at war with itself. Alcohol provided a short cease-fire, but never peace. That was not possible until I faced near death and finally surrendered. Initially, I believed I was accepting total defeat by walking into a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. I did not realize those were my first steps to a lasting peace. It would be a long journey with miles of construction necessary. But I never have to work alone as I did with alcohol. I have a new Boss. He helps me turn my whole being over to Him each new day, and we work together with the necessary repairs as we progress up Twelve Steps to eternal peace.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

SELF-PUNISHMENT



“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 417 (449)



“God treats us much better than we deserve, and because of Christ Jesus, he freely accepts us and sets us free from our sins.” Romans 3:23-24



For what it's worth: I nearly died in drunken despair, believing the Almighty Avenger was punishing me - as I deserved. Alcoholics Anonymous taught me otherwise. I was doing the punishment, not God. He forgives me and accepts me just as I am. My job in sobriety is to learn to forgive and accept myself as does my Creator. That requires full time employment in a hard hat construction area, rebuilding my entire belief system. With God's grace, I have made progress, but I need to keep on my hard hat and be careful no form of self punishment falls on me today; it is easy for me to feel undeserving of my Heavenly Father’s overwhelming kindness and slip into some insidious way of beating up on myself.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

ALIKE



"Then one night at an AA meeting a friend said that even though he had been in jail and done lots of stuff, he was no different from me. He felt the same thing. It was then that I knew I was not unique, that the people did understand the pain inside me." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 378



"And city dwellers and farmers and shepherds alike will live together in peace and happiness." Jeremiah 31:24



For what it's worth: No one understood me, nor ever would. I felt different, alone and isolated when I was drinking. The agony of my alcoholic despair drove me to seek help. And, what a blessing I found! Alcoholics Anonymous showed me that in sobriety I am not unique, and I am not alone. The people in Alcoholics Anonymous understand my thoughts and feelings. Despite our differences we are alike. That sounds like a contradiction, but I have witnessed that truth. They always join with me when I need support. All I need do is have enough humility to let them know I need help.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

CHANGING DIRECTION



A.A.'s Twelve Steps are a group of principles, spiritual in their nature, which, if practiced as a way of life, can expel the obsession to drink and enable the sufferer to become happily and usefully whole. 12&12 p.15


“Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.” Jude 1:21



For what it's worth: Alcohol was my road down to the depths of hell. I was near there when I finally changed direction, somehow being guided to Alcoholics Anonymous. There I was given Twelve Steps that turned out to be more than just an avenue out of hell. Practiced daily, the Program and Principles of Alcoholics Anonymous are a twelve lane highway to a destination I never believed possible for me. On this road I experience peace and joy in this life while driving to be with my Heavenly Father in eternity. But I have to let Him drive.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

KEEP SEARCHING



"We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 75



"Search for the Lord and for his strength, and keep on searching.” 1 Chronicles 16:11



For what it's worth: Alcoholism, self-will, and resentment caused far more spiritual sickness than I realized. When I finally arrived at Alcoholics Anonymous, I was searching for relief only, certainly not the Lord. Obviously, that did not stop Him from showing Himself through the people of Alcoholics Anonymous. Thanks to following them, doing what they did to get the spiritually they had. I have experienced the goodness and joy of “walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe”, and I want more, so I “keep on searching”. The spiritual highway is, indeed, broad, and I try to broaden my search. But, on the days I am spiritually weak, I need to watch for complacency, and even down right resistance. I question my efforts in my daily inventory, and talk with my Heavenly Father about necessary improvements.



God bless you.



Joe W.

[janbear]

HOW EASY I FORGET



"...They have been saved from a living death." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 150



"Unless the Lord had helped me, I would soon have died." Psalm 94: 17



For what it's worth: How close to death have I been…and how often…not even realizing God was saving me? Now, after years of recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous, I am fully aware I was saved, not only from a agonizing alcoholic death, but from many death threats in sobriety. Also, I am aware of how easily I forget. Today, I will be attentive to what my Heavenly Father has already done for me, and be willing to do more for Him in return.



God bless you.



Joe W.