Amends

[BIG AL]

I was talking about amends in another post were it didnt go as planned.I treated a great freind badly and made amends.He accepted it and said see you around.It was not at all how I saw it going down.I fugured I would apologize and he would say great and lets hang out.He didnt and it hurt.Made we think that I need to be more careful how I treat people becouse we can run them off.Well today We went fishing together and got along just fine.It was weird we were best freinds.I have been getting calls from alot of people saying the are happy we made up.It so happened he was chairing the b-day night last night and he was the one who handed me my medalion.Isnt it funny how god works.To hard headed drunks stubborn to the core god placed us back in each others lives.

[sioux]

You are fortunate Big Al that it turned out as it did. It may never be quite the same, but at least you two have made a start to get a new friendship going. That's how I have had to look at a few friendships.

I too have treated people badly, offered amends, and good things came about. Sometimes they don't, and I find many lessons learned like you do in the ones that don't. But ain't it great to learn a lesson from something that works out? I guess we don't have to be so hard headed after all for changes to occur or to even want changes to occur. I think that is what I have called the "second miracle in recovery". Not waiting for pain to be a motivator but experience as a guide for stepping up....er, doing the right thing just because. Early here, and can't think so great.

I have been on the receiving end too of the bad treatment, accepted the amends, received more bad treatment, accepted the amends, received more bad treatment, and said no more amends, no more association. At that point, I had a role in the relationship that required me to make the big change because clearly the other person could not. I have tried to learn from these experiences.

There's a saying from another group that goes like this, say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean. I try to practice this in my friendships, probably more than I do with my own family, but am working on that everyday.

Glad you were able to reconcile and reconstruct. It's always inspiring to hear how we can get over ourselves, get on with the daily living thing, with the aide of The Program's tools.

Sioux