Last Time ? What's YOUR answer.

[Will W]

:162:Some would say if you don't remember the last time you got high,you probably haven't gotten high for the last time.


So are you getting further away from your last high, or closer to your next one ?

[Just42Dave]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh I remember it and can still hear the peoples voices around me..
I was taken to the screamin demon ward against my will of course and was around clients I used to take care of and watch over......I still see those people in and out of meetings.They dont remember anything....but I sure do..Allof it .
And every month when its time to pay bilis,,,I still feel the residual effects 4 yrs later...

[Jay Bee]

The last time I got high, a person died, that,s what made me say enough is enough. Now that the Obsession has been lifted and im able to feel and not use im good with feel, deal, and heal. What help's me is freely giving back to what was so freely givng to me. H&I is a big part of my RECOVERY, also it help's me to remember the PAIN!!!!

[justonemore]

Yes I remember the last time I got high, was the night before I got arrested..I will never forget it.

[a_shirley89]

Last time I got high was 11 days ago, I scrounged some leftover blunt roaches out of the trash and smoked em, made me realize how dispicable that was, I'd never do it again and haven't.

[InRecovery40336]

The last time I got high was on my way to Rehab a year ago. You see, the disease made me think I had to get high to get better. It is almost my one year mark and I love my new "clean" life.

[Threshold]

The last time I got high was at a wedding...I mean I HAD to celebrate..right? I didn't want to be unsociable now did I?
I was so disgusted with my behavior...never again.

[sonia n]

The last time i got high was on 11/4/99 @ 2:15pm. I drank on my way to detox got there tore up from the floor up. I was taken to the hospital became bilergerent and violent :mad: with people police handcuffed me to the bed, I Woke up at 4 in the morning with that same policeman sitting next to me (he never left my side) and a banana IV in my arm to sober me up:5:!!!


GOD IS GOOD!!!! :164:

[Rocket2d4]

9/13/04...

I can't remember the especific but it wasn't any fun. I knew I was very depressed
and physically sick from drinking. My body was craving the alcohol and I probably
had alcohol poisoning. I woke up the next morning draggin my ass to work.
I went into a major flashback or so call back out. I almost hit someone with my
car. I didn't remember driving the distant of that entire block.

I relapsed on 8/18 that year...I was very, very hurt beucase it was my
B-day and all my EX-gf at the time wanted to do was go freaken gambling...
The was thing between us...I told her I was going to get drunk so she would
leave me...I got sick and tired of living like that. I was torn up from the floor
up for 5 years putting up with my EX-GF addictions..
WTF...I was suffering the **** consequence and wreackages without even
catching a buzz myself...It was a major living hell.
So I kicked her out and got drunk hoping she would hate me

Well...that didn't worked..She didn't leave nor refused to end the relationship.
All that happened was I ended up getting sicker than a dog with a physical addiction
again. I went to work and came home every night and got drunk everynight...
Which was something I never did before. I don't drink alone. Alcohol wasn't my
favorite type of buzzzzz...There you go, I did something I said I would never do..
DRINK ALONE...Flushed my 11 years of being clean and sober down the tubes..

yeahhhhh..freanken NA/AA nazi be giving the beat me down and crap.
yes...yes..I take full responsiblity for my actions and relapsed.
Well...incurable isn't a theory to me anymore..lol

It humble me in so, so many ways. One of my close sponsee had to sponsor
me and walked me through my first year again. He saved my life.
hahahha..I can honestly say..I don't work a perfect program.
No more competition recovery for me. Don't put me on a pedestal..lol

I've been on the recieving end of the chaos and destructions.
I have a deeper understanding of how much pain and harm addicts can cuase.

I also have a deeper understanding how much hurt and pains I cuased my ex-wf.
I also have a deeper understanding of how much she really, really loves me
and it ripped her soul apart becuase she loves me.

As painful as it was...It helped me. It help me in my process of making amends
to my ex-wf. I really, really listened and understood her. Whatever anger I had
toward my-wf bascailly vanished with the chaso and insanity i went through with
my ex-gf. My ex-wf needed that..She needed the healing from all the pains.
It's wasn't all about me..it never was.

I'm grateful I have a relationship with my ex-wf today.
I'm grateful she loves me inspite of me.
I won't take her for granted again so easily

hahahah..step4 is nothing compair to step #9. I have a deeper understanding of that.

With my experince, strength and hope...I've also been able to connect/help people
that relapsed after decase of recovery. I know I can't fix people but I can carry the message
and my experince

My sponsor keeps reminding it was grace...hardly anyone makes it back into recovery
after a month when relasping with decades of clean and sober time.

It brings tears to my eye when I read the chapter of "A SECOND CHANCE" in the NA Basic Text.
I can relate....

[santana]

Rocket your post helped me alot today, it is just what I needed to read. Ive been clean 10 years, and let life stuff take me away from meetings, work mostly. I hav'nt been to a meeting in 2 years, Im spiritually and emotionally bankrupt all over again. I hav'nt picked up YET I know how easy it could be to do just that, at this point. Ive been trying to get back I truely miss it, been finding it tough though, I dont know why, fear maybe. Reading your post has helped me come to the decission, Im going to go to my home group meeting tommorow night, before its to late. I know this thread is about remembering your last high, I do, ate a few klonopins threw 7 bags in the cooker and off to detox I went, oh the insanity.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks man.

santana

[dalin]

Keep coming!