just a silly little question?????

[hetiheti]

hi all - day 10 - double figures eh! still honeybarbara and i often gave up 3 weeks or so - to prove we were not alcoholics and usually celebrated the end with a bottle of wine - hah! who were we kidding - yes just ourselves - so my difficult time is yet to come - but onto my silly question:
was making lunch for a friend today and of course to appease my habit of having a wine while cooking i made myself a gorgeous mocktail served in a beautiful wine glass - and she asked: should you not be trying to get used to not even having a drink? should I????
when my husband and sister are having their wine or beer i make myself a mocktail - usually a fruit juice, lime and diet tonic or soda and ice - very refreshing - and i really enjoy it - i don't really have to give up drinking good drinks eh????
what do you all do ............. ?????:17:

[TaylorLeigh]

Though I haven't quit drinking and so am not one to advise, I cannot for the life of me see the danger in this. I know a 'real' alcoholic, and when his wife gave him the option 'choose either the drink or me'... he chose her. After this, he continued to drink non-alcoholic beer at parties and at home for years. That seems like more of a hazard than what you are suggesting. You shouldn't have to give up EVERYTHING! I know if I did that, I'd fall right back into my old patterns. I found that out when I gave up drinking for a week. One thing I know about myself (maybe you are the same) is that I am very obsessive and if I were not constantly thinking about drinking, I'd be obsessing over something else. EVERYTHING catches on me and doesn't let up. My husband says it is a VERY good thing I never took up smoking. I agree 100%! ;)

[hetiheti]

i didn't think it was wrong - it was my friend who made me think that it was - and it confused me - and the wine glass? i like nice things - i am the person who sets the table with cloth, cutlery and fine china when eating alone - i enjoy life and nicies! but i will be very very careful, i promise!!!! thanks for the replies. Hey, and taylorleigh, how are you doing - i gave up smoking 10 years ago, gosh, i hope i don't have to give up anything else in the next ten years. this way i will be really really healthy by the time i get to my eighties. aroha, hetiheti :17:

[zoomie]

Eventhough I gave up drinikng my kids like to drink their juice or soda out of the wine glasses just to be fancy. At my wedding my sis in law was the one in charge and she got the fake champaine and everyone drank that. No triggers, just simple fun. Now near beer is a different story because it has alcohol in it,but if you enjoy drinking your drinks in a fancy glass then go ahead your not hurting anyone.

[clean42day]

Pesonally I couldn't have done it in the beginning when newly clean and sober.....I was contintuously triggered everywhere I went in everything I did reminded me of getting loaded.....then the butterflies in the stomack would start and the "thinking" obsession process would take over and - the next thing you know - my mouth was watering and I was "considering" getting loaded.

But that was when I was new.......somewhere around year 2 or 3 - those triggers left me. Now occasionally I will order a virgin drink when I go out to eat with others. flavored Pina Colada's without the alcohol are pretty much just smoothies with fancy straws and umbrella's....lol. I love Shirly Temples with cherries - yummy!

on the holidays - we always have apple cider in champaign flutes.....:wink:

I say - if it doesn't trigger you or remind you or make you crave alcohol....there is no harm in it.

Sometimes we create new histories with ourselves by doing the exact things we did getting loaded - only we do them clean and sober instead....leaving a new trail of memories behind us......in order to do that - you must have "trust" in yourself.

Above all - don't just seek the "truth" of others here -consider what we say - but make sure your are telling yourself the "truth" when you answer your own question "is there harm in it?". Get use to listening to that small voice of truth within your own self too.....:1:

light and love :42:

Gail

[IndianG]

Alcohol.....Cunning, Baffling, Powerful.........its a hot flame and i don't mess with it.
In the beginning i had to be real careful because i had no ideal how cunning alcohol is and i was still dealing with my old thinking ( The Committee ) which seemed to have sessions without my approval.

[Honey Barbara]

Yay for Mummy - What a star.
Now I know what to buy you for Christams a beautiful glass that is not a wine glass.
Went to friends for dinner the other night and she had bought me mineral water - insisting that I have it in the Best crystal glasses which were her grandmothers - I was terrified to break it - I really appreciated the thought and agree with your your sentiment HetiHeti that it needs to be in a lovely glass -
I love the ritual of drinks in lovely glasses, ice cubes, squeezed lime -I missed alcohol so much at first but find myself looking forward to a big soada water with lime more and more.
Honey Barbxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[sioux]

Hard to believe but Sioux grew up in a home of nicieties too, and there is a linen on my dining table as we speak.

I got rid of all the goblets and flutes and symbols of drinking when I got sober. That is part of my romancing of alcohol...the tinkinling sound of the glass, the lovely serviceware, the anticipation of conversation and guests...and then the truth, I would have crashed into your China cabinet, broke family herilooms, swigged the booze straight from the bottle, gave you an unbelieveable cursing, and escaped to the pub to be with people that really understood me.

I had to accept that my alcohoism is a disease of the body that centers in the mind; the phenomenon of craving for me is as much visual as anything else and it is cunning, powerful, baffeling, patient.

That being said, I really see nothing wrong with what you are doing if it is not a problem for you. Someone said in the early days it would have been a challenge for me but after 18 years I can tell you that my memory recall of taste, sound and visual, even smells, is very acute and I don't take any chances in deluding myself.

I will never be on the spiritual ground that it takes for me to be around much drinking. I am and suspect I will always have a sick mind when it comes to booze, real or imagined.

I wouldn't mind having your recipie, but for me I will likely drink it out of a tall glass.

Blessings and congratulations on your continuing journey to stay sober and sane.

[hetiheti]

thank you sioux - so sorry for you that you still have those triggers - but i am lucky i suppose - i think for me personnally that if i did not do my "mocktails" in a fine glass i would feel as tho i was being cheated - not of wine but just of any thing that is for me relaxing and social - i still pour wine for my husband and friends - they do not have my problem - I DO!! one of the times i gave up for a set period my husband did not drink and i really missed our long sit down chats where we righted the world and our family and friends - that more than anything made me want to go right back to drinking - now i realise i need to keep all my rituals and enjoy them BUT WITHOUT THE BOOZE! first day of third week and am feeling liberated and free (but am still very wary of my cockiness). as i have said before this site has helped me more than anything - i go into it 3 or 4 times a day - definately first and last thing each day to strengthen me and for that i thank each and every one of you for the sharing and caring. aroha :17:

[sioux]

No need for apologies or sorry for sioux...those triggers keep me sober come what may of friends, family and world issues.

Blessings!

[DaveH]

Interesting thread. Cunning, Baffling and Powerful.....absolutely and I have also found it to be very Patient. Like sioux I am grateful that I have identified my triggers, they keep me safe. And I have survived nicely never drinking anything from a frosted mug.
Kindest Regards,
DaveH

[Rocket2d4]

Do whatever works for ya...

I personally don't even consider near beer...that stuff taste totally nasty.
That's like having sex with 20 condems on.lmao

Some people with decades of recovery or being sober drinks that stuff...It's really none of my bussiness what other people do.

That's not the kind of addict/alki I was. I've always been able to
leave a 6 pack in the frigg...the thing of it was I hit the hard liquar..
Instant check the F-out or buzzz.lol
The only time beer tasted sweet was the first drink right after
a hard day of work. And having to go pee every 5 mins got totally retarded.lol
I was a lazy drunk..lmao I wanted instant gradifications NOW!... without having to pay the consequences.
Peeing took too much effort after a while..lmao

It's not any different than me going to bars, resturants or events
that serves alcohol , such as after work parties...I suppose.
Being anti-social or not partiscipating with my co-worker is not
healthier either....I just don't drink when I attend these functions.

In my early recovery...I wouldn't have been able to do it.
I've been clean and sober for a very, very long time. My life
is not centered around getting wacked out of my mind anymore.

Yet I know there's drugs and alcohol anywhere and everywhere I go.
At work, at school, at home...etc

Heck I don't even drink soda anymore..not that it's toxic..
I don't wanna gain unneccessary weight...
Anywho..i used to just drink soda when I had to attend fucntions
where alcohol is serve...

Meth or weed was more my buzzz of chioce..
I couldn't mess around that...I had to get rid of people , place and things
that had any association with that...I know myself better.
Heck...my brain lights up sometime still when I hear new comers sharing
about how they used to get high. I chose not to drink alcohol today
becuase it's a gate way for me...it might not happen overnite...but I know
where it'll lead me eventaully.

I can't even gamble anymore either..

Women.....
Almost everyone of my relationships was toxic in someway or another.
I turned into a major sex addict in the first couple of years of my recovery, substituding...
By the grace of god I was granted a steady GF that was a nymfo too, so that I didn't have moral
conflicts with guilt and shame...
Dear lord...I don't wanna be a saint sitting on a mountian top somewhere...that's not living either.
If you ain't loving , you aint living.
Please don't make me give up nookie. Nookie in modrations is acceptiable..yes???