Another fear of quitting

[TaylorLeigh]

I am 5'7". In college, before drinking (started at age 21) I topped the scales at 170!!! About 3 years ago, I stopped eating lunch during the week in order to get a faster, stronger alcohol 'high' immediately upon returning to the apartment from school. As result, I lost 30 lbs without trying anything else, dropping me down to 140. The more I drink, the more weight I lose. If I stop drinking and have nothing to look forward to... no incentive to skip lunch... I fear I will gain that weight back or have to work REALLY hard at keeping it off despite the running I do. Any thoughts?

[Chewi]

Running is great! Stay active. Use portion control -- eat what you want but don't eat too much at a time. Eat a balanced diet -- lots of whole grains, fruits and veggies help you feel full. Lots of water.

Keep your hands busy instead of eating -- computer time or games, knitting, sewing.

I eat sunflower seeds in the shells in front of the TV because they take so long to eat. It satifies the munchies without too many calories.

Give yourself a break in early sobriety and focus more on staying sober than on staying thin. Losing weight by drinking will result in losing your life!

Do it all one day at a time, striving for that healthy balance. God bless!

[sioux]

Here's a good one I liked to use....I need it for my periods. Booze took away the pain of heavy cramping and all that drop in sugar as a result of bleeding. I needed to drink at least 10 days before, during and 10 days after at least.

[Honey Barbara]

Hi
You may be thin - but if you are drinking that much you will also be puffy -
I have lost weight easily since not drinking - but I love the way my rings are loose, and my skin is glowing -Alcohol and beauty are not companions.
Honey Barbxxxx

[hetiheti]

sorry taylorleigh - are you just looking for excuses - you are young and alive - with so much life and loving to look forward to - you are on this site, obviously, for a reason - go for it girl, you have nothing to lose - only alcoholism!!!!! feel the fear and do it anyway - we are all here to support you - hetiheti 12 days sober and going strong :17:

[TaylorLeigh]

Oh so now everyone thinks I'm just rationalizing? I see. Remember... I'm not an alcoholic... not yet! and I don't plan on getting there.

[Chewi]

Do you know a lot of non-alcoholic people who "drink" their lunch? (And I don't mean Slimfast!)

[skyhook]

Oh so now everyone thinks I'm just rationalizing? I see. Remember... I'm not an alcoholic... not yet! and I don't plan on getting there.

No offense, but that would be an interesting thread topic:
"People who aspired or planned to be alcoholics"

[TaylorLeigh]

No offense, but that would be an interesting thread topic:
"People who aspired or planned to be alcoholics"

Ok... On this you are right. That did sound pretty stupid. I dont mean to seem unappreciative of the advice. I came here not because of alcoholism but because I want to stop drinking for awhile when I'm ready and not fail. I hate failure. I can deal with a few days of feeling generally crappy (that accompany the times I have stopped in the past)... it is the psychological part that gets me... the constant thinking about it that subsides immediately only when I take a drink and starts back up upon an empty glass or bottle... but then, like magic... it is gone for the rest of the day... only to return the next day. Thanks to everyone for the advice... even if some is more harsh than I am accustomed to.

[hetiheti]

i just don't get what you are saying - you are not an alcoholic??????? hmmmmmmmm! not too sure about that - sounds just like all of us actually - i just think you are in total denial - which is your prerogative of course - i just think you really really need to talk to someone - please go to an AA meeting and really hear other stories - you may realise you relate to them more than you are prepared for. and the harshness - i haven't read any harshness above, only people who like you have been where you are and they are trying to reach out to you because to me it sounds like you are crying ... not maybe more like screaming ... out for help - but please forgive me, i am so new at this and maybe i am saying what i want to say all wrong - for that i am sorry but i truly am worried about you. aroha hetiheti :17:

[Jay Bee]

I came here not because of alcoholism but because I want to stop drinking for awhile when I'm ready and not fail. We all know what cyber means....Taylorleigh can you Please let me know the meaning of Recovery? Do it mean, to regain; to return to a former state, i mite be wrong, correct me if i am. Also drinking, losing weight, and not eating is not healthy, living on image time can be real painful, you mite not like the results of the image. Then you have to start the process all over agin....Quote: We knew in our hearts that drugs and Alcohol had the power to change us into someone that we didn't want to be....NOW, If you have the desire to lose weight, deep down in your heart you should know that your way isn't healthy ! The Disease will try to tell you, you don't have a Disease!! Please keep coming:15:.

[Rocket2d4]

Looking good on the outside and F-up on the inside.

[skyhook]

She may come around here, because it is a safe place to evaluate, prod and poke at her own notions, perceptions or fears. It may be her only avenue of discovery, at this point.

No book, person or situation convinced me of my need until I acknowldeged and identified it... going through many of the processes that Taylor is.

Does the self appointment as vigilante hall monitor, last for long ?

[TaylorLeigh]

She may come around here, because it is a safe place to evaluate, prod and poke at her own notions, perceptions or fears. It may be her only avenue of discovery, at this point.

No book, person or situation convinced me of my need until I acknowldeged and identified it... going through many of the processes that Taylor is.

Does the self appointment as vigilante hall monitor, last for long ?



This is one of the sweetest posts made to me. Thanks skyhook. Not that I don't appreciate the rest. Fact is that alcohol DOES cause problems and I am afraid of the levels at which I am drinking... but for some reason, the feeling still outweighs the consequences... so how bad can those consequences really be? A friend of mine said that one doesn't quit until they have experienced a great deal of pain. I'm 29 and way too analytical. How much pain can one experience by my age due to drinking? I worry most about what my husband and friends think of this habit, my physical health (pins and needles in my hands, occasional morning shakes, hypertension which I have etc) my patients and my wasted nights when I should be studying. I'm sorry I'm stubborn. It's a terrible personality trait my family can attest to me having. I hope I'm not causing too many problems in this forum. If I am, I'd be willing to leave. Not playing martyr here... I really don't want to hinder anyone's recovery. Thanks for your patience.

Taylor

[Jay Bee]

WOW, Sometimes it takes someone else's experience,and understanding about something We overlook, Skyhook, you are right, your title say's it all, thank you my brother,(((hugs))), Now, TaylorLeigh, I truly feel like I have to give you an Apology, because your process is just that your process. This is a loving & caring & supportive community of people, so please keep coming:15:. I forgot when it took me sometime to say that I AM AN ADDICT, and because i forgot, that,s why im saying I AM SO SORRY. (((BIG HUGS WITH ALOT OF LOVE))):15:

[Honey Barbara]

I originally posted without realising there was a second page. Just want to create a little feel good moment and say thank god for y'all - There is some great stuff here - deleted my post because I couldn't say it louder than In to the light.
The rest is up to you taylor
Peace and green tea
Honey - Barb

[Jay Bee]

I have found out the best way to teach someone that isn't teachable yet, is to let them get their own evidence. We all have an end of the road story, it sound like she hav'nt reach that point yet! This is an open thread, lets just rememder who started it....Let's keep the focus on the newcomer, Please, Thank you.

[Rocket2d4]

You don't have to hit bottom...You can let the bottom come up and hit you.

In other words you don't have to wait until your gets way...way..way out
of control or until you loose everything and everyone.
You don't have to wait until you get arrested, hospitalized or die.

I came into recovery at a very young age at 22. A lot of my friends
and family drank alot more than I did. A lot of people can drink me
under that table easily.

It dosn't matter how much I drank or didn't drank.
It's what alcohol dose to my body or thinking no matter the valume.

I looked like any typical normal healthy person living my daily life.
Actaully I was doing a lot better than most people. Mostly of my friends
thought I had my act together becuase I had a good paying job, drove
a nice car, lived in a nice house....I got complimented by people
all the time of how good I was doing.

The truth of the matter was...I felt miserable inside.

I got sick and tired of sick and tired of living like that....
I got tired of running and pretending everything was okay when it wasn't
okay.

Drinking and using drugs are but just symtoms of my deeper inner problems.

yeap...one of my biggest fears in my early recovery...
WTF was i going to now, How in the world was I going to live if I stop drinking and partying????

I didn't get clean and sober to save my face. I got clean and sober to save my ass.
I have a chioce. I still have to make this chioce everyday even after all these time in recovery.

I had weight problems and self image problems also....
Yeap, while driking and using I lost a lot of wieght becuase my eating habits wasn't so healthy.
I only wieght 105 lb. I thought I looked good..but I was all sucked up.

In recovery I had to learn how to have healthier diets. I'm up to 140lb...
My personallity was I don't deal with my problems...
Life was disgussting to me. Food was disgusstng to me.
While other might stuff thier emotions...I totally just don't deal it or process it.
It manifest itself in my eating habits also.

I now also excersize on a regularly basses to keep my body in shape.
Better diets and excersize also helps my depression.

[onzeaout]

Hi,

I am newbie to the site and AA. It is my experience that if you are on this sight you might like to go a little further. If you are reluctant to go to an AA meeting there are meetings on this site. Just to give you an idea of other people's experiences.

I hope you find your way through this.

[Chewi]

Hi Taylor Leigh!

Just wanted to say Good Morning and hope you are doing well. We do enjoy your sharing in this forum, so please don't leave us. We get a little "uppity" at times, because probably like your mom, we care. But I know I get really ticked at my mom when she "cares" like that!

Take what you need and leave the rest. You will be ready when you are ready. And we care about how you are doing!

[skyhook]

The level of denial that some people have is simply amazing. There comes a point when continuing to ignore the symptoms amounts to enabling the addict.

Sorry, but equating "enabling" to basic, human decency and courtesy is a rather self serving statement, in my opinion. My post history, to the contrary, is available to anyone who would consider "enabling" part of my makeup.

ITL, I appreciate much of your input around here, but occasionally your impatience or need to be right opens the door to avoidable damage, in my opinion. As well-rounded as you are, I am suprised, frankly, that you don't acknowledge this, rather than magnify your blind spot by assuming my intentions on this subject.

I learned a very long time ago, that my timetable imposed on another is a recipe for disaster, not only in my life, but more so for the person on whom I have just leveled my "expertise". Just because I started this race before them, is no excuse to taunt them as they start theirs. They are running now and engaged and scared and hopeful and scared and in need of placing one foot in front of the other on this track. Asking them to jump ahead, based on my impatience or need for affirmation is at best, not fair and at worst, damaging to everyone involved.

By respecting someones place and timing in the recovery process, we allow them the same grace afforded to us in our process. Drive by mail-reading has no benefit whatsoever, except to get us quickly to our next assigmnment or duty, at the expense of the person we have just laid waste to, now in our rear view mirror.

I also believe that access to speak "truth" into anothers life is something that is agreed upon by each party, if it is going to be fruitful. This is the essence of the Sponsor/Sponsee relationship,,,something forged in the privacy and trust dynamic of two people getting it done. It is built. If those are the rules and requirements of that dynamic, how much more so are we to be careful with those who would wander into our Forum, looking for help.
Who are we, to slice, dice and cutup their offered "text" and presuppose we got their number and their anecdote.

I would suggest that TL and others like her, will find there way just fine, if we stay out of the way and simply offer our own stories. She and others can fill in the blanks for their own lives.

They are not our personal crossword puzzles

Peace

[TaylorLeigh]

Just wanted to thank everyone for posting without exception. One post sort of hit on my thought process. My problem isn't a drinking problem, it is an emotional problem. I can't cope and I can't share with people in person. I value stoicism and appearing in control even as aspects of my life spin out from under me. It's all about saving face. As I mentioned in a post to hetiheti in the newcomers intro section ... I think this is why you CR.netters can call yourselves alcoholics and I can stand here and defend that I am not.

That said, bottom line is wanting to stop at some point right? even if you don't title yourself with the big 'a'? Congrats to all of those out there that are sober today. I'm proud of each one of you. Strong and inspirational. Keep it up :)

Taylor

[skyhook]

ITL:

Frankly, my post had nothing to do with you.

I took exception to a false definition of "enabling" and posted my opinion and own experience with that. We can agree to disagree, as long as we're talking about the same subject and in this case, the subject wasn't about you. You simply engaged the topic. My apologies if that was not clear.

Your point about techique and eithics is a good one.

Personally, I hold people with longer experience in recovery to a higher standard, than the new explorers, prooving once again, that my expectations get me in trouble everytime. Calling out a veteran is far different than calling out a newbie,,,IMHO.

Thanks for your dedication to serving those in recovery. It does not go unnoticed and we all benefit from your participation here.

Peace