my first meeting

[Honey Barbara]

Hi all
Six weeks sober tomorrow. I am so proud.
I finally made it to a meeting. it was an id meeting and it freaked me out a bit.
I have no doubt that I am an alcoholic, I am full stop. Thank God I managed to stop before I did any real harm to my wonderful life, I think that may be my problem, feeling like I fit in. The meeting was full of people that had such hard lives, I heard every story that could possible be told in that hour and a half. I did not judge them, the fact that they even got out of bed after the stuff that happened to them made me think they were amazing strong individuals. I had tears streaming down my face in empathy. Truly they were all amazing but when I told my story I felt a bit lame. I got up and said "Hi my name is Bell and I am an alcoholic - i have been drinking too much for years, blah blah" - I talked about my depression and the way I used alcohol to pep me up a bit. Everyone was looking at me and I couldn't help thinking they were waiting for the rest of the story.
It's enough for me - and I drank more than say Tom or even Zoomie - so what were your experiences in AA.
To top it all of the chairman said at the end of the meeting - and he was looking straight at me when he said it - "be careful who you choose as a sponsor there are a lot of people here with trust issues - and people that abused trust and really let me down" I think it was a warning directly to me - and I just really don't want to be dealing with inter politics - If I can't have absolute honest support - i will do it here with you guys and forget about meetings.
I don't want to give up just yet - i will go a few more times and I will try a few other meetings - but I am feeling a bit confused about my experience and if you have any thoughts or clarity for me - i would really appreciate it.
Thanks All
Honey Barbxxxxxxxxxx

[hetiheti]

i was a little bit luckier than you - i found a closed womens meeting - but even then the first week freaked me out as well - their stories were so sad and some horrific - but luckily you and i stopped in time - before we hit rock bottom - who knows if we would even get there - but at least now we know we never will. see if you can find another meeting - i found the second time a little better - at least i knew what to expect - and i am going to keep going because social times are a coming - and i need reassurance that i will be able to do it - but, as i keep saying, this is still the best place to be - and am so grateful to one and all. aroha, hetiheti:17:

[Tom1]

Still having probs with the meeting thing.Due to weird work hours often end up at the non- working people's meetings (some legit, others not).I try not to judge but just when you tell yourself not to judge someone, you have already obviously done just that. REALLY not judging others means that you are not even thinking of the fact that you WANT to judge someone but know you shouldn't. Anyway, always feel very apreciative, blessed, etc.. that I do not have as good of a story as others, although I must admit that I keep going back and forth with the nature and best treatment for my problem (church? meetings? self help?) Thanks for your thoughts, Tom

[Honey Barbara]

Thanks All
Will go again on Friday. Into the light - you are always so thoughtful and clear, that is just the kind of advice I am looking for, thank you so much. 13th steppers - whoa that's so dodgy. I will try again, will try a few other meetings, I also have little desire to attend a meeting with 20 year olds, but I can't even imagine them in a meeting in Australia. We have a serious very dangerous drinking culture, most 20 year olds binge drink to excess every weekend and don't seek help because it's completely normal. I had an early run yesterday and the party goers were still staggering home. I was like that once, I was shocked at how vulnerable the girls were, and I thanked the God i don't believe in for keeping me safe, in all those situations.
Thanks again
Honey Barbaraxxxxxx

[zoomie]

In my youth I drank my fill and drank in to adulthood when I should not have to quilify me as belonging to AA LOL. I hear all the women say at AA meetings that they have stopped drinking when they were preggers,not me. I did not drink as much,but drank I did and for that I felt shame. I did not drink to catch a buzz,but I felt so sick and my tummy hurt so bad that only a beer or two would calm it down enough for me to eat. Sometimes I'd have 3 and rarely like 3 times I had a 4th one. Anyway, the doctors would not give me anything for my tummy,so I treated my self. I wish though I had to do it all over again and just suffer through the pain of it all because my son who is 8 has problems. It may be from the alcohol I drank or may not. I'll never know,but I blame myself and so does my ex. He does not have FAS,but Disprexia and ADHD. Anyway, we all have our own stories to tell and why we quit drinking and what it has done to us. I pick out older people than myself to sponcer me. Only because I feel I need a mother figure because I lost my mom. I look for some one who has time in the program and who is spirtual and is grounded too. I once had an older male as a sponcer sort as like a father figure. He was the best sponcer, kind and compassionet. He had cancer while he was sponcering me and he taught me ever so much about being brave, having time for others and facing life and forgiving yourself. I have been very lucky in the sponcer department and have not gotten any strange people. If you have a gut feeling about someone who is strange go with that gut feeling. Not everyone in the meetings are well.

[Paully]

Nothing beats F2F meetings.
The more i go to the better my life is no matter how busy i am.
I have learned to look for what i have in common with people in meetings and tend to try not to focus on the diferences.
keep coming back and keep going to those meetings

Paully

[Honey Barbara]

Paully everyone says that but the truth is there aren't that many similarities either. Ahhh not one - except the BIG one - we all had a desire to stop drinking, i guess that similarity will be the one I focus on - what is an f2f meeting???
Honey Barbxx

[Paully]

face to face meeting
Its just my experience that my life goes a lot better when i am
really into the WE of the program.
I don't know how it works and i really don't care
But if i am going to 4 to 5 meetings a week
Meeting with my sponsor
working the steps in most aspects of my life
and hanging out with AA people
when I do this my life is fantastic
when i don't do this my life becomes unmanageable
my thinking gets wierd
i get restless, irritable and discontent