Recovering again

[Aprilskyzz]

Hello everyone,

My name is April and I am an addict. I has seven years clean when I recently relapsed for the past year.

I loved living the clean life and never knew how precious it really is. I suffer from migraine headaches and have seen many doctors with no relief. I finally starting going to a pain clinic. Yeah a pain clinic. What was I thinking?

I knew that I would be prescribed pain meds but I thought I could handle it. At first, all was well. I would take less then what was prescribed but as time went on, the more I would take. Before you know it, I am looking around for more spending money I do not have. Lying to my loved ones. Staying to myself. I lost so much weight and look horrible. This lasted for about one year until just 9 days ago when I came clean to my boyfriend and asked him for help. It was the scariest thing for me to do because he told me a long time ago, that the only reason he would leave me is if I were back on drugs. I was so sick though. I could not keep going on so I took the chance and told him and he is still here with me.

I just went through hell for the past eight days detoxing. My body was so mad at me. My mind is pretty stable right now, but that's because I have been communicating with others in NA. I do alot of it online, but I plan on going to more meetings.

Just recently, in the past three months, I changed jobs. I bettered myself in my career but I lost the last week of work home sick which does not look very well in your probation period of a new job. I was supposed to get promoted tomorrow, but not sure if this meeting is still going to happen since I was out of work all last week. If not, I will prove myself again and maybe meet next month. The important thing right now is that I am clean.

Thanks for listening everyone. It always feels good to share.

[Peggyannvt]

Hi April, :29:

Glad you are back working a program and glad you are here


Peggyann

[janbear]

:73: Hi April, so glad you made it back:42: I do know what it is like to be clean and sober for a few years and then relapse. I had 6 and a half years before my last relapse, it really jarred me and i began living the program in a way i never did before. I am grateful for each day i recieve staying clean and sober through NA and AA. My God sustains me in a way that i didnt know was possible.
Please make yourself at home and look around the board. I look forward to getting to know you better.

[peajaye]

:49:

Glad you made it back. Took a lot of courage to tell your boyfriend the risk involved in that plus taking the necessary time off the job. I look forward to your posts. Keep coming back.

[admin]

:46: (((April))), Glad you are back. Your post sure reminded me of how I felt when I went out in 2000 for a few months. I, too, realized how precious sobriety was during that time. The most important thing is you are back and clean. Sounds like you are doing the right things to help yourself. Please feel free to continue to share with us here on the board. We also have an Online Journals/Diaries forum here on the board that some of us use in our recovery. Feel free to start yourself a journal there. I look forward to getting to know you better. Keep coming back. :42:

Love,
Tammy

[snugsnug]

:67: :94:

You are a blesing to me. You are very blesed to have someone in your life that will help you.

:109: :99: It works!

[Aprilskyzz]

Thanks for all the replies. It really helps knowing that there is support out there. Still trying to learn how to navigate this site lol.

Did not sleep too well last night, but that goes with the process of coming clean. Could be worse so not complaining.

Today's the day to find out if I am still getting promoted. I am very nervous, but I will take it as it comes. Still clean. That's what matters most.

Will keep you all updated later on today when I come home from work. Wish me luck. April

[zoomie]

((((((((((((((April)))))))))) good luck with your promotion and a big congrats on getting clean!

[Aprilskyzz]

Just came home really quick to let everyone know that I got my promotion today yeah. Talk to you all again soon.

[free2bunme]

Aprilskyzz --- Congratulations on your promotion, and much more important, congratulations on coming clean and getting back into recovery! I'm so happy for you that you retained your NA connections - that will surely be a big help to you in getting through the tough spots. I feel for you, early recovery is no fun. It will get better, as you know. Just hang in there, and don't use, no matter what.
Your friend,
Frannie

[Aprilskyzz]

Thanks for the congrats. I am really excited. A new journey. Doors closing and new ones opening in both my professional and personal life. YEAH

[janbear]

:29: Congrats. on your promotion:29:

[flickchic]

Hello (((((((((APRIL)))))))))


:46: :94: I am Felicity, clean d.addict and grateful dry and sobering alcoholic from Australia.

Nice to meet you and :111: :87: on finding your way back to recovery!!!!

The important thing right now is that I am clean.
Yes, that is such a wonderful Blessing!!!!!!!:1:

I was happy to read that you received your promotion with work also, terrific!!:29:

Take care, enjoy your journey and remember; "one day at a time", or even "one minute at a time" if it comes to it!!!!!!:42:

[rooster]

:75: and:45: back, we r so courageous. Even more so from a relapse

Im gary an addict from OZ.:42:

[Prescott]

Hi April, Welcome to our group. Glad you made it back to recovery and congrats on your promotion. Look forward to getting to know you. keep coming back.

[Aprilskyzz]

Not feeling so well today. My body is aching and my stomach is very upset. Cravings are pretty bad today. Just want the pain to go away, but I will take it moment by moment and have my NA phone numbers to call if it gets too bad. DAy number 11 and counting. April

[rooster]

Hang in there, your so courageous remember your not alone .

Im Gary an addict from OZ.

LUVING HUGS:42:

[Doraine]

:79: April and :89: on your clean time and your promotion. I was sick awhile in my early sobriety. :97: It gets better. :72:

[Aprilskyzz]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. They really help me. You all are very wonderful people. April

[bry]

April,
Welcome you're doing Great:29: , A Day At A Time:1:
Hang in there
Bry

[cassie]

Hi April
I am cassie, gratefully recovering, one day at a time. Congratulations on both your sober time and your promotion. I hope you continue to share here - looking forward to hearing more from you.
:1: :42:

[Aprilskyzz]

Yesterday was a tough one but i made it through. Today is day number 15 and counting. I have been posting daily in my journal on this site, and it really helps me. Everyone is so wonderful and the replies I get are so helpful. Just for this minute is my motto for today. I am not to just for today yet, but i know I will get there some day. Thanks for listening and the words of encouragement.

April

[Prescott]

Hi April, congrats on 15 days!! It's good your posting on a regular basis. It helps it really does. Keep up the good work. Hang in there....you can do this.

[Aprilskyzz]

Today is day number 19. Doing ok. Went to see my primary care doctor yesterday and told him everything that has been going on . Not feeling so great so he is doing a complete work up on me. Great to have his support too. Thank God that I have such a wonderful doctor.

Thanks for all the welcomes and replies that I have been getting in all the different forums that I have been posting. I am now welcoming members myself. Feels good.

YOU are all so wonderful.

April

[Aprilskyzz]

Woke up this morning with a horrible headache. Just took some Aleve. I am out of my Imitrex shots so I have to wait to take that.

Hope everyone has a great day. Going to go and post in my journal now.

April

[Aprilskyzz]

I have a very good today. I made good things happen and was rewarded with a meeting with my boss who complicated me and thanked me for doing such a wondeful job. It always feels good to know that someone is paying attention to all of my hard work.

My boyfreind and I were having some troubles yesterday, but that has been resolved for now. I actually stuck up for myself when he was being judgemental. I am very proud that I did not let me feelings of guilt get in my way of sticking up and even protecting myself.

I didnt have to live my day moment by moment today because before I knew it, my day was over. My job is keeping me busy and that helps so much. This site is so very helpful too. I feel that the people in here really do care about me and my recovery. That is such a great feeling.

I have not been to a meeting in three days and that is not good. I need to get my but there. Saturdays have a meeting that I really like so, i need to stop putting it aside and go tomorrow. I need to be around others in recovery. It helps so much. I know that when I come in here I have that, but I need the face to face so I am setting a goal right now to go to a meeting tomorrow night.

Getting tired so goodnight to all an hope you all have a wonderful night. You guys/gals are so wonderful/

Sincerely, April

[Aprilskyzz]

I made plans with my friend to go to a meeting tonight. I am really looking forward to it.

I am getting ready to go to the beach with the little one and my boyfriend. I wasn't going to go, but I realized that it's probably better for me to go then sit home alone and start craving drugs. I wish the cravings would just go away. They are getting less so I am grateful for that.

Well, gotta go get ready for the beach. Hope everyone has a wonderful day. I wll be back later. Thanks for all of the support. You all are the best.

Sincerely grateful. April