How to Handle Complainers

[admin]

How to Handle Complainers

1. Listen to them and let them vent for limited amount
of time. Let them get the emotion out.

2. Acknowledge their complaint. You are not
necessarily agreeing with them but you are
acknowledging their complaint by saying it back to
them so they know you heard them.

3. As for a solution. Complainers often don't have a
solution, they just want to complain. Ask them to come
back when they have a solution or an idea for solving
the problem.

4. Ask them how they would like things to turn out.
This moves the conversation from the problem toward a
solution.

5. Ask them how they can be part of the solution. This
makes them take some responsibility for what they are
complaining about.

-- Author Unknown

[free2bunme]

Good ideas, thank you.

[Nachise]

Good ideas, thank you.
I agree! :1:

I am currently sponsoring someone who is a complainer. It pays to listen, because the thing she is really complaining about is not always evident when she starts complaining. When the conversation is turned to how she would resolve the problem, a second or third issue comes up that is clearly acting as background noise for her initial complaints.

[flickchic]

:120: Excellent share, thank's for the tips!!!! :14: think I'll print them out to memorise them and try and put them into action next time I have to talk with the ex, he so often seems to have complaints, I let him know I hear him, but I generally try to move the conversation after that, especially if the children are around as it's so negative so often and it's tireing; as we all know being around negative people can create a negative atmosphere and if I had the choice I would not spend time with this person.

[cassie]

Tammy
That is good, sound advice. Sometimes, people just want a sounding board. Other times, they want you to get mad with them. I have a hard time with this. My first question usually is "What can we do to fix this?" Notice, please, that I said we. I have to remember that others problems may or not be of consequence to me. In these cases, the Serenity Prayer and humor come to my aid more often than not. :wink:

[janbear]

:1: excellent post