Hello my name is April and I am an addict

[Aprilskyzz]

Hello everyone,

Need to get something off my chest. Not doing so well today. I have a migraine from H*** and cravings are out of control.

I haven't used in 15 days and the physical symptoms are starting to subside somewhat but now the mental symptoms are kicking in. They can be tougher than the physical. I have been attending meetings but haven't gotten up the nerve to use the phone numbers. I am so used to being independent that it is so hard for me to call a complete stranger and ask for help, nevermind someone that I am close to. I do have a great relationship with my mother and do call her but sometimes you need to step out of calling family and turn to other addicts. I am just having a difficult time with that right now.

I think I found a home group last night. I really enjoyed the meeting and met people that I was really comfortable with. My next step is to find a sponser but I am not sure on how to go about this. I have been ready NA and it helps make the minutes go by, but there is only so much reading you can do at one time. Can't ready today, my head hurts too much. Barely able to even look at this screen right now, but I really needed to talk so here I am.

Thanks for listening everyone. This site and the people on it are so helpful and wonderful. Thanks again. April

[Doraine]

:97: Remember withdrawal symptoms are temporary. As long as you stay clean it will get better. I didn't go to a detox when I got sober and it was awful. I was so sick and I couldn't sleep for a long time. It's so important to get a sponser even a temporary sponser. Find someone who has what you want, a good recovery.Call women in your meeting so you can start to know them and they can get to know you. You don't have to go through this alone.
Keep coming back. :72:

[Aprilskyzz]

Thanks Doraine,

I am going to a meeting tonight and hopefully some of the same people will be there that I met last night. It's good to know that I do not have to this alone. Your words help immensely. April

[Aprilskyzz]

Thanks Doraine,

I am going to a meeting tonight and hopefully some of the same people will be there that I met last night. It's good to know that I do not have to this alone. Your words help immensely. April

[dalin]

glad you are here.......we need you

[janbear]

April, yes, one of the many things i love about the fellowship is that we don't have to be alone anymore. One way i got to know people a little better was to come to a meeting 30 minutes early and stay a little while after the meeting was over. It helped me.

[Aprilskyzz]

Hello janbear. I actually did go to a meeting early today and went out for breakfast with a few people. I have a friend that has been going to meetings for awhile now and she has been introducing me to people. I felt a little weird at first, but the conversation was good and so was the food. I was starving. My appetite has improved so much and my body is telling me to feed it. I didn't really eat that much when I was using. I lost a lot of weight, but I am sure that I will gain it back.

I had a hard time today. I had some serious cravings and was really depressed after looking at my pile of bills that I never opened and it really brought me down. I have fallen so behind and everyone wants to turn off my services. I told my boyfriend and he told me that it is going to be ok. He did not make me feel bad about it. I apologized to him and he told me not to worry. What is done is done and we just have to make payment arrangements and it will all work out. I am really lucky to have him. He is really trying to help me through this. I can only imagine how hard it is for him. He told me that he thought that I was going to die. I was looking pretty beat up and he is not ready to lose me. I am not ready either. I know that if I pick up again, I might not make it back and that really scares me. I have too much to live for and people who need me especially my children. I did not act on my cravings. I chose to take my daughter to the movies instead and it really helped. She helped me and dosen't even know it. We had a good time and the movie (monster house) was cute. I actually enjoyed it. Must be the little girl in me lol.

Thanks for all the support everyone. Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I did not find this site. It really helps me through the hard times. Tomorrow will be better. I am early in my recovery and it did not take me overnight to become an addict and it's not going to happen overnight to recover. I just have to take it day by day, minute by minute, or hour by hour.

Thanks for listening. April

[Mist]

April, I know how you feel about the cravings and headaches. I've been clean 5 days and the withdrawals are getting to me. It is strange sitting here reading the posts from everyone and knowing there are people with the same problems as me. I also have shut off notices and collections coming in the mail everyday, I have been working on them even before I was clean. My husband had no idea that I was blowing our money on drugs, I was always afraid to confide in him and ask him for help (he is a police officer). We are working together now as a team to fight all this. To be honest I knew I had a problem but didn't want to quit, if it wasn't for being caught in a drug raid and going to jail I would be high right now and not on here looking for help and trying to stay clean. My next step is to find NA around here or something to help me.

[dalin]

:rolleyes: so keep coming back.these rooms here help,but it isnt nearly as good as finding a good sponsor.
my girlfreind had an online sponsor from the states the first two years clean.we are traveling to spend christmas with her in baton roughe.
but like my sponsor says,sitting at home alone isolating is like spending time with an asshole.......
so find someone,a temp sponsor or something.

[dalin]

what part of georgia mist?i have alot of freinds in recovery there.

[Mist]

I'm right near Savannah.

[Mist]

:rolleyes: so keep coming back.these rooms here help,but it isnt nearly as good as finding a good sponsor.
my girlfreind had an online sponsor from the states the first two years clean.we are traveling to spend christmas with her in baton roughe.
but like my sponsor says,sitting at home alone isolating is like spending time with an asshole.......
so find someone,a temp sponsor or something.



I plan on keep coming back, I need the help. It really has helped me reading stories from everyone on here.

[CD BUCKBERRY]

:97::97:Hang in there Aprilskyzz,N.A. works if you want it.Keep Coming Back it wprks if you want.Hang in there.:42::42:

[A problem]

Remember, you never have to go through this again, unless you want to. He who fails to remember, is doomed to repeat. Be strong.