Relapse haunting me

[Kimmr25]

Hi My Name is Kim and I am a struggling, yet grateful member of AA. I have found AA in 11/2004, and have a slip (for a day ) last month, and slipped again last Saturday.:

I must admitt I am getting nervous, and I am very scared. I do not want to go back to the nightmare of the way I was living, but seem to keep going back for onenighters...I pray, meditate, do the steps and call my sponsor. I also do meetings daily..

This website can only help.. Thanks

[DonnyB]

Welcome! My name is Donny and I am new to recovery. I like you am doing the meetings, the steps, etc. I joined Cyber Recovery because I believed I need as much in my life as possible between me and using. So far, so good. I have found the people on this site to be incredibly supportive, friendly and caring. I urge you to look around and visit often. This is good place with good people!

[free2bunme]

Hi Kim
Good for you for reaching out!
You are not alone. Almost all of us have had slips. Thankfully I have not had one since August 19of last year. I know how disheartening and discouraging it is to build up some clean time and have to start over again.
In my opinion, it is definitely a good sign for continued recovery that you are scared -- you should be! Your disease is out to kill you!
Here's a suggestion - read page 73 of the BB and think about how it might apply to you.
Hang in there and keep using your tools.
You can get through this time, with your HP's help! Don't quit 5 seconds before the Miracle!
With love,
Frannie

[admin]

:46: Kim, I am glad to have you join us. I relapsed also. I have over 6 years sober now. I keep on doing this one day at a time. No matter how much time any of us have - today is the day that matters - this 24 hours. We stay sober and clean here together one day at a time. I did anything I had to do to get that drink or high now I do the same thing to stay sober - I do whatever it takes to stay sober for today. We also have an Online Journals/Diaries forum here on the board that some of us use in our recovery. Please feel free to start yourself a journal there. I look forward to getting to know you better. Welcome to our family here. Keep coming back and sharing. :42:

Love,
Tammy

[Doraine]

:76: & :77: Kim. Call your sponser before you pick up that first drink. Continue to go to meetings everyday. Pray to have the obsession to drink removed. You have to want recovery more than you want to drink.You can do it one day at a time. I know because I've been doing it for 19 years one day at a time.
It's good that you're scared of going back to the way you were. That's a good motivator. I know if I ever pick up a drink again I will be the same falling down blackout drunk I was when I stopped. It was hell. I couldn't go one day without a drink.
Be willing to go to any length to get sober. Keep coming back.
:72:

[cassie]

Hi Kim
Reaching out is one of the best things you can do when you know you are in relapse jeopardy. I am cassie, grateful recovering alcoholic. The great part about the forum here is that it is open 24/7 - as long as you have Internet access. This is a terrific group of people willing to give back what has been freely given to them.

I relapsed bunches of times and hated every one of them. It took a catastrophy to get me here to stay - a DUI that could have killed others. Addiction is really the way it is described - cunning, baffling and very powerful. But life can be experienced again with hope and strength, if you are willing to do what is suggested. It has happend to many. It can happen to you.

I look forward to hearing more from you and hope you keep coming back. You don't have to be alone.
:42:

[Kimmr25]

I just wanted to say thank you all for your support.. After sharing w/all of you, I went to a meeting and told on myself. I was really scared to do that and open myself to judgement but I was more scared not too!!

Thanks again I am so glad I found this website!!!:195:
<TABLE id=HB_Mail_Container height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0 UNSELECTABLE="on"><TBODY><TR height="100%" width="100%" UNSELECTABLE="on"><TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNSELECTABLE="off"></TD></TR><TR UNSELECTABLE="on" hb_tag="1"><TD style="FONT-SIZE: 1pt" height=1 UNSELECTABLE="on">
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

[Prescott]

Hi Kim, congradulations... thats the best thing you could of done it takes the power out of drinking. It's takes courage to do what you did and I'm proud of you. My name is John and I'm a alcoholic/addict and I also had slips until I became totally honest with myself and my home group.God willing I'l be clean and sober 9yrs 8/8/06. You can do this. I never in my life throught I could live without drinking. Keep coming back... your not alone in this.

[DonnyB]

Kim-
Congratulations on going to a meeting and getting honest with people. Keep going back and you will find that the mind will follow the body. We all know what it is like to relapse and then hit your first meeting. I remember being overwhelmed by the amount of support I felt. Everyone in that room made me feel like I was important to them and I know those that could had me in their prayers. Keep coming back! Donny B

[janbear]

Hi Kim and Welcome to CyberRecovery. Like others, i also have relapsed twice before. I thought i had this thing down both times, doing what all the right things were i thought, what i discovered for me was that i didnt have this concept of Higher Power down. After my last relapse my sponsor guided me through the steps like never before, my biggest hang up was step 2. She was able to help me. AA literature says, "We beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the start".

I also feared judgment after coming back from each relapse, but amazingly that just didnt really happen. They still loved me, and they helped love me back into recovery.:smile:

Keep coming back, Kim, and sharing with us :42:

[Aprilskyzz]

Hello Kimmie,

I also relapsed after having seven years clean. i relapsed for one year and have been sober now for 19 days. I too am very scared. The withdrawals that I had to deal with for 8 days with some still side effect now was horrible. I am very scared of relapses. Continue to come in here and talk. Go to the meetings. At first you might not feel too comfortable, but after a few, you start to see the same faces and it gets so much easier. Congrats on your new road to recovery. I will be thinking of ya. If you ever need anyone to talk to, please feel free to PM me and I will reply back to you. Good luck and keep coming back.

April