~ HONESTY ~

[janbear]

~ HONESTY ~

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"Our lives improve only when we take
chances ~ and the first and most
difficult risk we can take is to be
honest with ourselves."

Walter Anderson

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After the initial shock and realization
that I am a compulsive overeater, it
transpired that in order to recover, I
had to get honest. This was -- and still
is -- a painful process for me, yet it
is an essential step towards my
recovery.

First I had to admit that I wasn't in
control of my life and that recovery
couldn't be achieved unaided. As with
most revelations, this was an
uncomfortable truth to behold. I was
also prompted through honesty to stop
blaming everyone else for my
unwillingness to help myself. I had to
find conviction in my actions and not
just emptiness in my words.

I conceded that I am not as perfect as I
would like to think. I make mistakes and
sometimes slip from the path of
recovery, but with honesty comes
acceptance that I am only human. This
disease would deceive me into thinking
that I am a failure when in fact it's my
actions that have failed me. Like a
magician who performs illusions for the
crowd, this disease would have me think
I have committed unforgivable
sins. Honesty is the key to my recovery;
it unlocks the chains that have
imprisoned me for so long. It allows me
to recognize my weaknesses and turn them
into strengths. It turns simple
existence into life ~ and
inner-conflicts into outward serenity.

ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I will be honest with myself.