janbear
08-06-2006, 06:53 AM
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
OVERPROTECTIVE PARENTS NOT NECESSARILY OFF BASE
QUESTION: I have a friend who guards her kids as if they were in
mortal danger. I feel like she should let them spread their wings a
little, even though they're only 9 and 11 years of age. Who do you
think is right?
DR. DOBSON: Two decades ago I would have suggested that she give them
space, because overprotection of children creates some characteristic
problems. Today, however, I have to agree with your friend. The
environment in which kids are being raised has changed dramatically in
recent years. Unspeakable dangers haunt our schools and streets that
were almost unheard of a generation ago. Yesterday's families didn't
worry much about drive-by shootings, illegal drugs, sexual molesters
and kidnappers.
When I was a kid in the early 1950s, my folks were more concerned
about a disease called polio than all sources of violence combined. As
a 10-year-old, I moved freely around my hometown. If I was a half-hour
late coming home for dinner, the Dobson household was not seized by
panic. But now we worry about our kids playing in the front yard.
Indeed, little Polly Klaas was abducted in 1993 from her bedroom, and
then was brutally murdered for the perverse pleasure of her killer.
When that horrible news broke, a collective shudder was felt by every
loving parent in the nation. Three years later, beautiful little
6-year-old JonBenet Ramsey was sexually assaulted and beaten to death
in the basement of her own home on Christmas night, 1996.
In the years since, tens of thousands of other children have been
murdered and abducted. During my term of service on the Attorney
General's Board on Missing and Exploited Children, I was dismayed by
what I saw happening to innocent boys and girls.
There was a time when the culture interceded on behalf of kids to
protect them from anything harmful or immoral. Movies were censored,
music was monitored and young couples were chaperoned. But this
current generation is exposed to every kind of evil and violence. Some
boys and girls live in a combat zone. More American children are shot
per year than are police officers!
Parents in some inner-city neighborhoods make their kids sleep in
bathtubs to protect them from stray bullets crashing through the
walls. Some mothers keep short leashes on their little ones when
walking through malls to protect them from potential molesters.
Instruction is given to wide-eyed preschoolers on how to scream when
approached by a stranger, and how to report unwelcome touches. Many
children spend their after-school hours behind bolted doors and barred
windows.
How can parents protect their precious children? By watching them
every moment! Never leave them in the care of those whom you don't
know personally and aren't sure you can trust. Do not let teenage boys
baby-sit your girls. I know that is a controversial recommendation,
but I've seen too many tragic cases of abuse resulting from masculine
adolescence and the sexual curiosity that is typical of that age. Walk
your kids to and from school or the school bus. Pick them up on time.
Watch for any unusual behavior that may signal sexual abuse or
molestation from neighbors or child care workers. Protect them at
every turn.
Does that sound unnecessarily cautious? Just remember this: The
average pedophile abuses 150 children in the course of a lifetime.
Each sexual exploitation lasts for seven years, typically, before the
truth comes to light. Boys and girls are often too intimidated to call
for help. Don't give a child abuser a shot at your kids.
Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit
organization Focus on the Family
OVERPROTECTIVE PARENTS NOT NECESSARILY OFF BASE
QUESTION: I have a friend who guards her kids as if they were in
mortal danger. I feel like she should let them spread their wings a
little, even though they're only 9 and 11 years of age. Who do you
think is right?
DR. DOBSON: Two decades ago I would have suggested that she give them
space, because overprotection of children creates some characteristic
problems. Today, however, I have to agree with your friend. The
environment in which kids are being raised has changed dramatically in
recent years. Unspeakable dangers haunt our schools and streets that
were almost unheard of a generation ago. Yesterday's families didn't
worry much about drive-by shootings, illegal drugs, sexual molesters
and kidnappers.
When I was a kid in the early 1950s, my folks were more concerned
about a disease called polio than all sources of violence combined. As
a 10-year-old, I moved freely around my hometown. If I was a half-hour
late coming home for dinner, the Dobson household was not seized by
panic. But now we worry about our kids playing in the front yard.
Indeed, little Polly Klaas was abducted in 1993 from her bedroom, and
then was brutally murdered for the perverse pleasure of her killer.
When that horrible news broke, a collective shudder was felt by every
loving parent in the nation. Three years later, beautiful little
6-year-old JonBenet Ramsey was sexually assaulted and beaten to death
in the basement of her own home on Christmas night, 1996.
In the years since, tens of thousands of other children have been
murdered and abducted. During my term of service on the Attorney
General's Board on Missing and Exploited Children, I was dismayed by
what I saw happening to innocent boys and girls.
There was a time when the culture interceded on behalf of kids to
protect them from anything harmful or immoral. Movies were censored,
music was monitored and young couples were chaperoned. But this
current generation is exposed to every kind of evil and violence. Some
boys and girls live in a combat zone. More American children are shot
per year than are police officers!
Parents in some inner-city neighborhoods make their kids sleep in
bathtubs to protect them from stray bullets crashing through the
walls. Some mothers keep short leashes on their little ones when
walking through malls to protect them from potential molesters.
Instruction is given to wide-eyed preschoolers on how to scream when
approached by a stranger, and how to report unwelcome touches. Many
children spend their after-school hours behind bolted doors and barred
windows.
How can parents protect their precious children? By watching them
every moment! Never leave them in the care of those whom you don't
know personally and aren't sure you can trust. Do not let teenage boys
baby-sit your girls. I know that is a controversial recommendation,
but I've seen too many tragic cases of abuse resulting from masculine
adolescence and the sexual curiosity that is typical of that age. Walk
your kids to and from school or the school bus. Pick them up on time.
Watch for any unusual behavior that may signal sexual abuse or
molestation from neighbors or child care workers. Protect them at
every turn.
Does that sound unnecessarily cautious? Just remember this: The
average pedophile abuses 150 children in the course of a lifetime.
Each sexual exploitation lasts for seven years, typically, before the
truth comes to light. Boys and girls are often too intimidated to call
for help. Don't give a child abuser a shot at your kids.
Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit
organization Focus on the Family