Just Looking for some Recovery

[oneday]

Hi folks,

My name is Aaron, and I'm an addict.

After a clean stretch of 3 years, I decided last October I could handle some more research. Pretty smart move, huh?

I'm not using anywhere near as badly as I did before the clean period, but still...

I can't go on like this. My quality of life just sucks because I'm obsessed with staying high, I feel like crap when I come down, etc. I'm under a lot of emotional strain as a result of all this.

I just want to dump all of this crap and get back to the life I had for those 3 years. But try as I might, I have been unable to maintain focus for more than a week or two at a time.

I need some support. And since I work full-time from home, it makes sense to register with an online group.

This way I can tap in at any point during the day. I'm looking forward to it, and thanks to the webmasters/admin for setting this place up.

[Kai Stevens]

What a blessing to hear that you are making it back!!
Have you tried treatment and are you going to meetings? This is a 'WE' program not an 'I' program. When I first sobered up, most of the stuff I heard in meetings was like greek for me. But I drew a lot of strength from the positive people in recovery that I kept around me. Surround yourself with positive people, that's the best start!!
Love ya later. Kai

[zoomie]

Hi Aaron,welcome to cyberrecovery. I'm a stay at home mom most of the time and this place saved me. I do go to meetings and use this place when I can't get to meetings. I'm glad your trying to stop, I hope that you take it one day at a time because that is all we have. As suggested above you might need a rehab or detox to help you get clean. I personally went to meetings after my slip 2 years ago because I just did not have the time to go into a rehab,but there is no shame in needing one to get clean again. Please keep coming back!

[janbear]

:73: Hi Aaron, glad you are here. Please look around the board and make yourself at home here. Look forward to getting to know you better. :42:

[admin]

Hi Aaron, :46: I am very glad to have you join us. I relapsed before myself but am sober and clean now. It can happen for you also. Please feel free to continue to share with us. I look forward to getting to know you better. :42:

Your Friend In Recovery,
Tammy

[Prescott]

Hi Aaron, Welcome to our group. Look forward to getting to know you. keep coming back.

[soberaddy]

:D Good morning Aaron and a big welcome to the family. I have been a member here for quite a few 24s now and this place with its support, strenght, and hope save my as* many times. See as addicts and alcoholic we understand eachother and we are all in the same boat going for one destination, recovery. I can say whatever I want, get it off my chest and no one will judge me. So please come back very soon Aaron, and look around you never know what you will find around here......there's lot of great stuff to read.

By the way my name is Anne, an alcoholic/addict from BC Canada.

Keep coming back ODAAT:42: :42: :smile:

[oneday]

Thanks for the kind words folks. It's day one without my d.o.c., and I know it's going to be a rough ride.

I'm not going the clinical detox route this time. I know what needs to be done, and I just have to stay focused.

Of course if the w/d gets too bad for me I'll call the crisis center. But just going to try and live through the first few days and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

:1:

[janbear]

Take things a day at a time, Aaron, and keep sharing with us:1:

[cassie]

Hi Aaron
I am cassie, grateful recovering alcoholic. After many experimental trips down boozer's lane and a DUI, I was rescued and given another chance. :29: The support in this group is awesome and has gotten me through some tough days. Please keep coming back - you don't have to be alone.:42:
friend in recovery

[Peggyannvt]

Welcome Aaron. You may need the one minute at a time route for a while. I know I am powerless over much in my llfe and as long as I work my program, and turn my life and will over to my HP, my life will not be unmanageable.

[free2bunme]

Welcome back aboard Aaron! I am so glad you are making your way back to recovery. It takes what it takes. You can do this, with God's help. This board helped me immensely when I was first trying (and failing misrably haha) to get clean. The total acceptance, the lack of judgment, the unconditional love and support was so important to me -- I didn't need anyone else beating me up, I was doing plenty of it all by myself! I read page 30 a lot "we had to admit to our innermost selves that we were alcoholic / that we were not like other people." one i got tired and helpless enough, i finally let go of trying to fight the daily battle with the drug and just gave it to God, surrendered to God and asked for help. That was the turning point for me -- admitting that I was powerless to the drug (i.e. I could have every intention not to use when I started my day, but find myself using anyway, often by midday) and that I needed a power greater than myself to save me. Keep coming back and sharing!
Love, Frannie

[flickchic]

:73: Hi Aaron, :77: from me, Felicity.

Well done for having the courage to reach out and begin "anew" your journey of recovery; you mentioned wanting to get back the life you had for 3 years....try and stay focused right here and now "in the moment", yesterday's gone and tomorrow hasn't got here.....one minute at a time if need be!!! You can do it, you've done it before, and just think of the tools you have brought along with you this time!!!!! Many of us relapsed or went through rehab more than once for different addicitons. Hang in there, know that we are all here to support you and "keep coming back". Look forward to getting to know you.

http://d21c.com/kiddlehopper/12stepgraphics/otherplans.jpg:1: :1:http://d21c.com/kiddlehopper/12stepgraphics/eachday.jpg

[Aprilskyzz]

Hello Aaron , just wanted to say wellome. You chose a great site. You said that right now you are not using as much as you used to, but i do not have to tell you that using, even a ittle is going to go back to the using a lot. We are addicts and that is what we do. You are going to be chasing a high that just is not going to come to you as it does now or has it done before. Its going to take more and more, but i do not have to tell you that. I just wanted to put that little birdie in your head. My mother, who is also a recovery addict (23-26 years clean, I lost count) always told me that the first time of becoming clean i a gift, after that, you have to work for it. Boy was she right. i had seven years clean before i relapsed and this time and it is really hard. I alrealy relasped a few weeks ago right before hittling a month clean. I only took two pain meds, but it was scary. Yeah i caught a buzz, but if I continued, the buzz would not have had been enough. i would be out there chasing a high that I probally would not be able to achieve, so i did decide not to try to get that high,. I like being clean. Pain meds were given to me for a chronic pain issue, and yeah, I wish i could take them as prescirbe, but I know that that is impossible. I will want the high tht I cannot capture again like i did when i first starting taking the meds.

I just wanted to share my story, not necessarily the same story as yours, but addicts are addicts and we cannot use just a little. We will always need more.

keep coming back. This site can work for you. The site is not the complete answer, but it is a beginning and we all need to start some place. It continues to help me througout my struggles as well as attending meetings. I have met some wonderful friends in here.

Keep coming back and sharing and you will find that we really care about each other and the advice is a learning tool even if you chose not to follow it. It also gives us addicts the opportunity to talk to others that understand what we are going through. The awesome part of it is is that you are not judged. You will be accepted a s part o the family. Really happy that you found us. Good luck and i will be thinkin of you.

sincerely..Remember to hold your head high, learn to forgive, but never forget why you are here,

sincerly
April

[Doraine]

Hi & welcome Aaron. Pray for the obsession to use to be removed. Keep coming back.

[Misselle]

Welcome back!!