janbear
06-08-2006, 07:16 PM
Message
bluidkiti
Administrator
Age: 44
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 7079
Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 9:55 am Post subject: THREE WORDS AND FOUR POINTS
THREE WORDS AND FOUR POINTS
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives
over to the care of God as we understood Him.
The third Step is found in its entirely in the Big Book from pages 60 to 64.
If the writer of a textbook has an understanding of a word, but the reader
of the book has a different understanding of the same word, then the
information that comes through will be garbled and incomplete. There are
three words in the above "lampshade on the wall" version of Step Three that
are important to understand.
For a long time, I thought that the Third Step said that I turn my will and
my life over to the care of God. But it doesn't say that. What it says is
that I make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God.
So the first word that needs to be understood is the word DECISION, which is
defined as "making up one's own mind." Let's say my car breaks down.
Although the decision to get my car fixed is a vital and crucial step, that
decision alone does not get the car fixed. I will also need to take the
actions necessary to get it fixed. For any decision to mean anything, it
always requires further action.
If I decide, or make up my own mind, to turn my will and my life over to the
care of God as I understand God, that decision alone will not turn it over.
I will have to take the actions necessary to turn it over. The first three
Steps are designed to bring us to the point where we become WILLING to turn
our will and our lives over to the care of a Higher Power, Steps Four
through Nine are HOW we turn our will and our lives over (by removing the
blocks that prevent us from actually doing so), and the last three Steps are
how we KEEP our will and our lives turned over to God indefinitely. After a
period of time though, our ego (self-will) begins to reassert itself again;
and because of our "humanness", we fall short in maintaining perfect
spiritual focus in all of our thoughts and activities. That is why I
believe, even if we have worked the first nine Steps to the best of our
ability once and are living in Steps Ten, Eleven and Twelve, we will still
need to eventually go back to Step One and, begin the Steps cycle again and
again for deeper awakenings and further growth in other areas where we have
God blocked off that we may not be currently aware of.
The other two words that are important to understand are the words WILL and
LIVES. I've always thought that the words "will" and "lives" were concepts
way over my head and were way too large to relate to or comprehend. But
then it was explained to me that my will is my thinking and what motivates
me, and that my life is all the actions that I've taken up to this moment.
That explanation made the words a little more down to earth and easier to
internalize. So I now understand the Third Step as saying that I decide to
take the actions necessary to turn my motivations, my thinking, and my
actions over to the care of God as I understand Him. Since I believe that
God is Love and Truth, I need to make it a priority to be motivated by love,
to move toward having loving thoughts (no matter how I feel or what my
circumstances are), to always try to take loving actions (whether I think
"they" deserve it or not), and to work at seeing the reality of truth that
life presents to me in each moment. Also, what motivates me drives my
thinking and my thinking directs my actions, so I need to go deeper than
just acting my way into right thinking. If my motivation and thinking is
God-directed, I will make the right decisions (whether it seems that way at
the time or not), then the actions taken will also be right. But if my
motivation and thinking is self-directed, I will usually make the wrong
decisions (even though I may not realize it at the time), then the actions
taken will probably also be wrong. Now it made perfect sense!
As the book continues (page 62), they start to make statements like,
"Selfishness - self-centeredness! That we think is the root of our
troubles," and "So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.
They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of
self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so." (So whether I
realize it or not, I am usually in self-will and perhaps don't even notice.
That's how cunning, baffling and powerful the ego is. Also, it's important
to know that this includes before we started drinking, while we were
drinking, and even since we stopped drinking prior to working Step Three.)
The book continues: "Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this
selfishness. We must, or it kills us." (Wait a minute. Do you think they
really mean, "Above everything" and "must"? I always thought that alcohol
was my problem. I guess that explains why it says on page 53 that, "When we
became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or
evade," on page 64 that, "Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get
down to causes and conditions," and on page 103, "After all, our problems
were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol.")
In my book, next to the line, "So our troubles, we think, are basically of
our own making, " I have written in the margin the word, "Hope!" and one day
someone sitting next to me noticed it. After the meeting, he came to me and
said, "Why would you put such a word next to that line? It seems to me that
if I have caused most of my troubles, I must be destined for the rest of my
life for that to continue." I told him that the reason I put that there was
because it is neither necessary nor possible to change others. But if I
(with God's help and the Steps) can change myself, I will find that no other
changes are needed. If other people or life were to blame for my troubles,
there is absolutely nothing I can do about that. But if I am to blame for
almost all of my troubles, there is something I can do about that because I
am the only person that I can change. Like a wise man once said, "It is
easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world." He thought for a
few seconds, nodded in agreement, opened his Big Book and wrote, "Hope!"
next to the same line.
The Book goes on further (page 62) to notify the self-centered alcoholic
that God (what I defined earlier as Love and Truth) can rid us of our
selfishness: "There often seems NO way of ENTIRELY getting rid of self
without His aid. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by
wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help. So the ONLY
thing that we have going for us, which is self-will and self-knowledge (or
my life run on my will), is the VERY THING that will lead us back to
drinking (at best) or progressive misery as time passes (at worst). Let me
repeat that: the ONLY thing that we have going for us, which is self-will
(or my life run on my will), is the VERY THING that leads us back to
drinking and/or progressive misery. If we are trying to make ourselves
"un-self-centered", we are still being self-centered! We can't think our
way out of this, a self-will problem cannot be overcome by self-will, a sick
mind cannot heal a sick mind, we can't USE the problem to SOLVE the problem.
Ouch! That snuffed out any hope I had of not pursuing this Higher Power
stuff. Now what? I guess since Step One says that my life is unmanageable
(especially my mental emotional/spiritual life, whether I am drinking or
not) what I need is a new Manager. Because anything at all that God has in
mind for me is better than anything at all that I will EVER have in mind for
me!
So the AA program ultimately asks me to make TWO surrenders, not just one.
I need to surrender to my drinking alcohol (Step One), but I also need to
surrender to my self-will or "my life run on my will" (Step Three).
Unfortunately, many members of AA only make the first surrender and
inevitably do not experience all the freedom, joy and serenity that the AA
way of life promises. Because of this, they are often miserable and/or go
back to drinking.
In Step 2, we are told that we need to come up with some sort of "God of our
understanding" or "Power greater than ourselves." A.A. gave me more respect
than anyone I had ever known by allowing me to believe whatever I wanted to
believe about this Power. But there is a little unseen footnote next to
Step 2 that states, "So long as I am not it!" The Big Book says again and
again that my belief that the universe revolves around me is a big part of
my Problem, so that "center of my universe" needs to be replaced with some
belief in a Power greater than human power. Then in Step 3, it introduces us
to an important attribute that this Power needs to have when it says,
"...the CARE of God as we understood Him." So our concept of the Power now
needs to include the fact that this "God" cares and is caring. This was
difficult for me at first because my original concept of our Creator was
more along the line of a "judgmental, harsh, He's going to get me, something
to be feared" kind of God. I had to completely scrap my old ideas and start
over because they just didn't work for me any more. It wasn't the kind of
power that I would turn to for help. If I was to put my trust and life in
God's Hands, and turn to Him for help and guidance, I started moving in the
direction of thinking of this Power as something that was the loving
overseer of everything and, that no matter what was going on in my life.
God could be trusted to ALWAYS have my best interest and spiritual growth in
mind. That was the beginning of an outstanding relationship!
This brings us to the second highlight of the Third Step, the last paragraph
of page 62, which contains the specifics about this decision we are making:
"This is the how and why of it. First of all, I had to quit playing God."
(Why? Because,) "It didn't work. Next, I decide that hereafter in this
drama of life God was going to be my Director. He is the Principal; I am
His agent. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are
simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch
through which I pass to freedom." For those who do not know, the keystone
is the supporting stone for the ENTIRE structure, so the Third Step decision
is the supporting Step for the rest of the Steps. Wow! Now this decision
is starting to sound important. God is going to be my Director (and my new
Employer), so I need to be doing what I think GOD alone wants me to be
doing. In other words, I need to be directed by love, do the next right and
healthy thing, and honestly deal with reality. I am going to be His agent,
and since an agent is given the power to represent the Principal, I am
deciding to start acting in a way that would represent my Highest Power.
And if we are all His children (since God has no grandchildren), I need to
start acting as if we are ALL equal brothers or sisters. Now I know what
this Step 3 decision is that I am making!
But just how do we do all this? We've tried doing things like this before
and it has never worked. We must not be capable of it.
Although we all have probably tried to have more integrity and peace in our
life, our selfishness, self-centeredness and fear prevented us from doing so
because our efforts in that direction have usually had a price tag and an
expectation of "what's in it for me" associated with it. After I did
something for you, if you didn't act the way I thought you should be acting,
I wasn't going to do for you anymore. I never was truly altruistic (which
means to give of yourself and expecting nothing in return). That's probably
because I never followed through with the last two parts involved in working
this Step.
The next aspect of working the Third Step thoroughly is the Third Step
Prayer, which can be found in the middle of page 63. This prayer is nothing
more than an affirmation of the decision we are making mentioned at the
bottom of page 62. For a few years in A.A., I thought that the Third Step
was only the prayer, but you can see that there is a whole lot more going on
here besides just a prayer. I had read Step 3 in the Big Book many times
and had gone to many Big Book meetings prior to 1994 and never noticed most
of this until I really started to study it. I suggest to people I work with
that they say this prayer each morning immediately after waking up (along
with their other morning prayers and meditation) and throughout the day when
needed or not. I also like to suggest that it be read slowly, while
noticing what it says. There is a lot contained in these simple words.
Before going on to the last important statement that is made about this
Step, make sure you pay attention to the sentence right after the Third Step
prayer, along with the last full paragraph on page 63. Contained in these
sentences are some warnings and considerations about following through with
Step Three. They are not to be taken lightly and I think they are there to
let know that (like the 12 & 12 says) the effectiveness of the whole A.A.
program will rest upon how well and earnestly we try to do this. Also, keep
in mind that this book was originally written assuming that the alcoholic
reader may have no other fellow A.A.'S in town. Today, it would probably be
unnecessary for a person to go outside of our fellowship to find the right
person or persons to take this spiritual step with. And notice that it says
that we are voicing it without reservation," which means that we need to say
it out loud.
The fourth and last element of this Step begins at the bottom of page 63 and
continues to the top of page 64. For me, it is the MOST important point
about this step yet it is rarely discussed at meetings and usually
overlooked. It states: "NEXT we launch out on a course of VIGOROUS action
the first step of which is a personal housecleaning. Which many of us had
NEVER attempted." (Which is why I was never before able to be good, loving,
and considerate toward others on any consistent basis - I never looked at
what was stopping me from being this way). It continues with, Though our
decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have LITTLE PERMANENT EFFECT
unless AT ONCE followed by a STRENUOUS EFFORT to face, AND to be rid of, the
things in ourselves which had been blocking us." So it's telling me that
this Third Step decision will have little permanent effect unless I
immediately follow it up with an intensely active effort to work steps Four
through Nine, because where we face these things is in Steps Four, Five, and
Six and where we get rid of them is in Steps Seven, Eight and Nine. And
what we're being blocked off from is the ability to turn our will and lives
over to begin with. So after working the six middle Steps, then and ONLY
then. will I be able to turn my motivations, my thoughts, and my actions
over to my Higher Power with any kind of consistency. Step 3 in the 12 & 12
on page 40 seems to give the impression that we need to stay at Step 3 for a
while before going to Step 4 when it says, "Then it is explained that other
Steps of the A.A. program can be practiced with success only when Step
Three is given a determined and persistent trial". This does not contradict
what the Big Book is saying about going on to Step 4. "at once" following my
Step 3 decision because it is merely saying that if I don't stay connected
to Step 3 as I work the remaining Steps, they will not have the fullest
transforming power and effectiveness that they could. In other words, if I'm
doing my Ninth Step amends and I've lost my commitment to Step 3, the power
and freedom I'll be bringing into the process of making amends will be
compromised.
By the way, check out the results of deeply taking the Third Step, otherwise
known as the Third Step Promises that can be found in the first paragraph on
page 63. And in closing, I'd like to include a story about this step that I
think captures the essence of it. I just can't remember where it is from.
In other words, in all things God is the owner and I am the caretaker.
Thanks for letting me share.
A STEP 3 PARABLE
A drunk is staggering along the street and he meets God. "God, I can't do
this anymore," he says. "Please, please, will you give me sobriety?" God
says, "Sobriety isn't free, how much money have you got?" The drunk reaches
into his pocket. "Fifty bucks." "I'll take it" says God, you're sober."
The man stands up straight, drunk no more. It feels pretty good. "Yeah
but, God?" "Yes?" "I know I gave you my money willingly. But, you see, I
need to get gas for my car." "You have a car?" says God. "Well, yes." "You
didn't tell Me that. I'll take the car." "But..." "I'll take the car. It's
part of the price for your sobriety." "But how will I get to work" "You
have a job? I'll take the job, too." "But God, how will I pay my mortgage?"
"Mortgage? You have a house? I'll take that too." "But God, my family.
How will I take care of them if you have my house and my job?" God says to
him gently and lovingly: "In order to keep your sobriety you must give Me
these things. But I will let you drive My car as long as you remember it's
My car. You can have the job, but remember you're working it for me. It's
My house but I will let you live in it. And as for the family, they are My
family but I will trust you to take care of them."
Received in email
_________________
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
God says that each of us is worth loving.
We stay sober together - one day at a time!
bluidkiti
Administrator
Age: 44
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 7079
Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 9:55 am Post subject: THREE WORDS AND FOUR POINTS
THREE WORDS AND FOUR POINTS
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives
over to the care of God as we understood Him.
The third Step is found in its entirely in the Big Book from pages 60 to 64.
If the writer of a textbook has an understanding of a word, but the reader
of the book has a different understanding of the same word, then the
information that comes through will be garbled and incomplete. There are
three words in the above "lampshade on the wall" version of Step Three that
are important to understand.
For a long time, I thought that the Third Step said that I turn my will and
my life over to the care of God. But it doesn't say that. What it says is
that I make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God.
So the first word that needs to be understood is the word DECISION, which is
defined as "making up one's own mind." Let's say my car breaks down.
Although the decision to get my car fixed is a vital and crucial step, that
decision alone does not get the car fixed. I will also need to take the
actions necessary to get it fixed. For any decision to mean anything, it
always requires further action.
If I decide, or make up my own mind, to turn my will and my life over to the
care of God as I understand God, that decision alone will not turn it over.
I will have to take the actions necessary to turn it over. The first three
Steps are designed to bring us to the point where we become WILLING to turn
our will and our lives over to the care of a Higher Power, Steps Four
through Nine are HOW we turn our will and our lives over (by removing the
blocks that prevent us from actually doing so), and the last three Steps are
how we KEEP our will and our lives turned over to God indefinitely. After a
period of time though, our ego (self-will) begins to reassert itself again;
and because of our "humanness", we fall short in maintaining perfect
spiritual focus in all of our thoughts and activities. That is why I
believe, even if we have worked the first nine Steps to the best of our
ability once and are living in Steps Ten, Eleven and Twelve, we will still
need to eventually go back to Step One and, begin the Steps cycle again and
again for deeper awakenings and further growth in other areas where we have
God blocked off that we may not be currently aware of.
The other two words that are important to understand are the words WILL and
LIVES. I've always thought that the words "will" and "lives" were concepts
way over my head and were way too large to relate to or comprehend. But
then it was explained to me that my will is my thinking and what motivates
me, and that my life is all the actions that I've taken up to this moment.
That explanation made the words a little more down to earth and easier to
internalize. So I now understand the Third Step as saying that I decide to
take the actions necessary to turn my motivations, my thinking, and my
actions over to the care of God as I understand Him. Since I believe that
God is Love and Truth, I need to make it a priority to be motivated by love,
to move toward having loving thoughts (no matter how I feel or what my
circumstances are), to always try to take loving actions (whether I think
"they" deserve it or not), and to work at seeing the reality of truth that
life presents to me in each moment. Also, what motivates me drives my
thinking and my thinking directs my actions, so I need to go deeper than
just acting my way into right thinking. If my motivation and thinking is
God-directed, I will make the right decisions (whether it seems that way at
the time or not), then the actions taken will also be right. But if my
motivation and thinking is self-directed, I will usually make the wrong
decisions (even though I may not realize it at the time), then the actions
taken will probably also be wrong. Now it made perfect sense!
As the book continues (page 62), they start to make statements like,
"Selfishness - self-centeredness! That we think is the root of our
troubles," and "So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.
They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of
self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so." (So whether I
realize it or not, I am usually in self-will and perhaps don't even notice.
That's how cunning, baffling and powerful the ego is. Also, it's important
to know that this includes before we started drinking, while we were
drinking, and even since we stopped drinking prior to working Step Three.)
The book continues: "Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this
selfishness. We must, or it kills us." (Wait a minute. Do you think they
really mean, "Above everything" and "must"? I always thought that alcohol
was my problem. I guess that explains why it says on page 53 that, "When we
became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or
evade," on page 64 that, "Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get
down to causes and conditions," and on page 103, "After all, our problems
were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol.")
In my book, next to the line, "So our troubles, we think, are basically of
our own making, " I have written in the margin the word, "Hope!" and one day
someone sitting next to me noticed it. After the meeting, he came to me and
said, "Why would you put such a word next to that line? It seems to me that
if I have caused most of my troubles, I must be destined for the rest of my
life for that to continue." I told him that the reason I put that there was
because it is neither necessary nor possible to change others. But if I
(with God's help and the Steps) can change myself, I will find that no other
changes are needed. If other people or life were to blame for my troubles,
there is absolutely nothing I can do about that. But if I am to blame for
almost all of my troubles, there is something I can do about that because I
am the only person that I can change. Like a wise man once said, "It is
easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world." He thought for a
few seconds, nodded in agreement, opened his Big Book and wrote, "Hope!"
next to the same line.
The Book goes on further (page 62) to notify the self-centered alcoholic
that God (what I defined earlier as Love and Truth) can rid us of our
selfishness: "There often seems NO way of ENTIRELY getting rid of self
without His aid. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by
wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help. So the ONLY
thing that we have going for us, which is self-will and self-knowledge (or
my life run on my will), is the VERY THING that will lead us back to
drinking (at best) or progressive misery as time passes (at worst). Let me
repeat that: the ONLY thing that we have going for us, which is self-will
(or my life run on my will), is the VERY THING that leads us back to
drinking and/or progressive misery. If we are trying to make ourselves
"un-self-centered", we are still being self-centered! We can't think our
way out of this, a self-will problem cannot be overcome by self-will, a sick
mind cannot heal a sick mind, we can't USE the problem to SOLVE the problem.
Ouch! That snuffed out any hope I had of not pursuing this Higher Power
stuff. Now what? I guess since Step One says that my life is unmanageable
(especially my mental emotional/spiritual life, whether I am drinking or
not) what I need is a new Manager. Because anything at all that God has in
mind for me is better than anything at all that I will EVER have in mind for
me!
So the AA program ultimately asks me to make TWO surrenders, not just one.
I need to surrender to my drinking alcohol (Step One), but I also need to
surrender to my self-will or "my life run on my will" (Step Three).
Unfortunately, many members of AA only make the first surrender and
inevitably do not experience all the freedom, joy and serenity that the AA
way of life promises. Because of this, they are often miserable and/or go
back to drinking.
In Step 2, we are told that we need to come up with some sort of "God of our
understanding" or "Power greater than ourselves." A.A. gave me more respect
than anyone I had ever known by allowing me to believe whatever I wanted to
believe about this Power. But there is a little unseen footnote next to
Step 2 that states, "So long as I am not it!" The Big Book says again and
again that my belief that the universe revolves around me is a big part of
my Problem, so that "center of my universe" needs to be replaced with some
belief in a Power greater than human power. Then in Step 3, it introduces us
to an important attribute that this Power needs to have when it says,
"...the CARE of God as we understood Him." So our concept of the Power now
needs to include the fact that this "God" cares and is caring. This was
difficult for me at first because my original concept of our Creator was
more along the line of a "judgmental, harsh, He's going to get me, something
to be feared" kind of God. I had to completely scrap my old ideas and start
over because they just didn't work for me any more. It wasn't the kind of
power that I would turn to for help. If I was to put my trust and life in
God's Hands, and turn to Him for help and guidance, I started moving in the
direction of thinking of this Power as something that was the loving
overseer of everything and, that no matter what was going on in my life.
God could be trusted to ALWAYS have my best interest and spiritual growth in
mind. That was the beginning of an outstanding relationship!
This brings us to the second highlight of the Third Step, the last paragraph
of page 62, which contains the specifics about this decision we are making:
"This is the how and why of it. First of all, I had to quit playing God."
(Why? Because,) "It didn't work. Next, I decide that hereafter in this
drama of life God was going to be my Director. He is the Principal; I am
His agent. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are
simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch
through which I pass to freedom." For those who do not know, the keystone
is the supporting stone for the ENTIRE structure, so the Third Step decision
is the supporting Step for the rest of the Steps. Wow! Now this decision
is starting to sound important. God is going to be my Director (and my new
Employer), so I need to be doing what I think GOD alone wants me to be
doing. In other words, I need to be directed by love, do the next right and
healthy thing, and honestly deal with reality. I am going to be His agent,
and since an agent is given the power to represent the Principal, I am
deciding to start acting in a way that would represent my Highest Power.
And if we are all His children (since God has no grandchildren), I need to
start acting as if we are ALL equal brothers or sisters. Now I know what
this Step 3 decision is that I am making!
But just how do we do all this? We've tried doing things like this before
and it has never worked. We must not be capable of it.
Although we all have probably tried to have more integrity and peace in our
life, our selfishness, self-centeredness and fear prevented us from doing so
because our efforts in that direction have usually had a price tag and an
expectation of "what's in it for me" associated with it. After I did
something for you, if you didn't act the way I thought you should be acting,
I wasn't going to do for you anymore. I never was truly altruistic (which
means to give of yourself and expecting nothing in return). That's probably
because I never followed through with the last two parts involved in working
this Step.
The next aspect of working the Third Step thoroughly is the Third Step
Prayer, which can be found in the middle of page 63. This prayer is nothing
more than an affirmation of the decision we are making mentioned at the
bottom of page 62. For a few years in A.A., I thought that the Third Step
was only the prayer, but you can see that there is a whole lot more going on
here besides just a prayer. I had read Step 3 in the Big Book many times
and had gone to many Big Book meetings prior to 1994 and never noticed most
of this until I really started to study it. I suggest to people I work with
that they say this prayer each morning immediately after waking up (along
with their other morning prayers and meditation) and throughout the day when
needed or not. I also like to suggest that it be read slowly, while
noticing what it says. There is a lot contained in these simple words.
Before going on to the last important statement that is made about this
Step, make sure you pay attention to the sentence right after the Third Step
prayer, along with the last full paragraph on page 63. Contained in these
sentences are some warnings and considerations about following through with
Step Three. They are not to be taken lightly and I think they are there to
let know that (like the 12 & 12 says) the effectiveness of the whole A.A.
program will rest upon how well and earnestly we try to do this. Also, keep
in mind that this book was originally written assuming that the alcoholic
reader may have no other fellow A.A.'S in town. Today, it would probably be
unnecessary for a person to go outside of our fellowship to find the right
person or persons to take this spiritual step with. And notice that it says
that we are voicing it without reservation," which means that we need to say
it out loud.
The fourth and last element of this Step begins at the bottom of page 63 and
continues to the top of page 64. For me, it is the MOST important point
about this step yet it is rarely discussed at meetings and usually
overlooked. It states: "NEXT we launch out on a course of VIGOROUS action
the first step of which is a personal housecleaning. Which many of us had
NEVER attempted." (Which is why I was never before able to be good, loving,
and considerate toward others on any consistent basis - I never looked at
what was stopping me from being this way). It continues with, Though our
decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have LITTLE PERMANENT EFFECT
unless AT ONCE followed by a STRENUOUS EFFORT to face, AND to be rid of, the
things in ourselves which had been blocking us." So it's telling me that
this Third Step decision will have little permanent effect unless I
immediately follow it up with an intensely active effort to work steps Four
through Nine, because where we face these things is in Steps Four, Five, and
Six and where we get rid of them is in Steps Seven, Eight and Nine. And
what we're being blocked off from is the ability to turn our will and lives
over to begin with. So after working the six middle Steps, then and ONLY
then. will I be able to turn my motivations, my thoughts, and my actions
over to my Higher Power with any kind of consistency. Step 3 in the 12 & 12
on page 40 seems to give the impression that we need to stay at Step 3 for a
while before going to Step 4 when it says, "Then it is explained that other
Steps of the A.A. program can be practiced with success only when Step
Three is given a determined and persistent trial". This does not contradict
what the Big Book is saying about going on to Step 4. "at once" following my
Step 3 decision because it is merely saying that if I don't stay connected
to Step 3 as I work the remaining Steps, they will not have the fullest
transforming power and effectiveness that they could. In other words, if I'm
doing my Ninth Step amends and I've lost my commitment to Step 3, the power
and freedom I'll be bringing into the process of making amends will be
compromised.
By the way, check out the results of deeply taking the Third Step, otherwise
known as the Third Step Promises that can be found in the first paragraph on
page 63. And in closing, I'd like to include a story about this step that I
think captures the essence of it. I just can't remember where it is from.
In other words, in all things God is the owner and I am the caretaker.
Thanks for letting me share.
A STEP 3 PARABLE
A drunk is staggering along the street and he meets God. "God, I can't do
this anymore," he says. "Please, please, will you give me sobriety?" God
says, "Sobriety isn't free, how much money have you got?" The drunk reaches
into his pocket. "Fifty bucks." "I'll take it" says God, you're sober."
The man stands up straight, drunk no more. It feels pretty good. "Yeah
but, God?" "Yes?" "I know I gave you my money willingly. But, you see, I
need to get gas for my car." "You have a car?" says God. "Well, yes." "You
didn't tell Me that. I'll take the car." "But..." "I'll take the car. It's
part of the price for your sobriety." "But how will I get to work" "You
have a job? I'll take the job, too." "But God, how will I pay my mortgage?"
"Mortgage? You have a house? I'll take that too." "But God, my family.
How will I take care of them if you have my house and my job?" God says to
him gently and lovingly: "In order to keep your sobriety you must give Me
these things. But I will let you drive My car as long as you remember it's
My car. You can have the job, but remember you're working it for me. It's
My house but I will let you live in it. And as for the family, they are My
family but I will trust you to take care of them."
Received in email
_________________
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
God says that each of us is worth loving.
We stay sober together - one day at a time!