flickchic
08-21-2006, 04:26 PM
<TABLE align=left border=0><TBODY><TR vAlign=baseline><TD>Family: Hand in Hand with Our Teenagers
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Hand in Hand with Our Teenagers(© 1999 Susan Kramer)As adultswe serve as children's guidesfor society's future benefit—Childhood to adulthood, a process of changefrom dependencyto self-determinationWe were each a child who grew and became more visible in the world.If we respect children as individuals who have their own thoughts,emotions, and dreams, they will feel good about themselves, and inturn respect us. This back and forth respect and communicationbridges the generation gap.Children are our inspirationsto act as best we canGrowth is from both sidesThe 'adult' is the exampleand the 'child' inspires the adultto be their bestChildren are impressionable and react rapidly to stimulus. Children,as individuals, need a general and personalized plan with theirschooling to develop their inherent qualities. And, besidesacademics, children need to learn practical living skills, andspiritual practices, which provide a foundation for living in societyas useful adults.Children learn bestwhen they see the adults around themmodeling the behavior and skillsthey want the children to learnUpon reaching the teenage years, our children walk across a bridgespanning the river of uncertainty—from the security of childhood onone side—to the other side of sole responsibility. It is a swingingbridge, with teenagers swaying at the beginning, in the middle, andat the end—sometimes hanging on precariously along the way—tillfinally stepping onto the firm ground of solo independence.Adults need to extend teenagers a helping handif they are about to fallOtherwise we should just observeand allow them to master their walkThe basis for their behavior as teenagers, was set before they becameteenagers. In the teenage years the fledglings are testing theirwings. Adults can guide but not act for teenagers—otherwise theywon't reach the end of their bridge to independence—or will be sloweddown past the age of twenty.Guidelines for teenage behavior at home and at school should be setby the parents and teachers with repercussions made known beforehand,and then enacted if the rules are violated. As adults, we have goldenopportunities to inspire and bring out the best in children—our nextgeneration—by our words and actions. Let us, as responsible adults,fully love each other, and our children—living as the best examplesthat we can.Compromise has a place in parenting…When enforcing our rules we do not always have to play the tyrant. Wecan give in on small points. Then when the big problems come, we canstick to our principles without the child feeling that we are neverflexible. This attitude—this compromise in parenting—shows childrenthat each event in life requires individual consideration—that onepat way will not be the wisest choice in each situation.Compromise in parenting involves our partner, too. It makes us feelgood to give in to our partner's requests sometimes—when we wouldrather do something else. Children learn from example more thanfrom words. They find their way to happiness by seeing us care forothers. Expressing care through action is the way we manifest reallove.In summary, compromise with the children does not necessarily makethem think that we are weak or can be easily swayed. It shows themthat we use our mind to weigh the merits of each individualsituation. Why be bound to one of our own rules—when a better way isevident?Teenagers are individualssoon to be adultspart of our world wide familyLet's guide their journeyby being the best we can beGiving them our caring love, our guidanceTeenagers are people, tooand one day may be parentsFrom the highest consciousness in ourselvesLet's give them the best of ourselves</PRE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></P>
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Hand in Hand with Our Teenagers(© 1999 Susan Kramer)As adultswe serve as children's guidesfor society's future benefit—Childhood to adulthood, a process of changefrom dependencyto self-determinationWe were each a child who grew and became more visible in the world.If we respect children as individuals who have their own thoughts,emotions, and dreams, they will feel good about themselves, and inturn respect us. This back and forth respect and communicationbridges the generation gap.Children are our inspirationsto act as best we canGrowth is from both sidesThe 'adult' is the exampleand the 'child' inspires the adultto be their bestChildren are impressionable and react rapidly to stimulus. Children,as individuals, need a general and personalized plan with theirschooling to develop their inherent qualities. And, besidesacademics, children need to learn practical living skills, andspiritual practices, which provide a foundation for living in societyas useful adults.Children learn bestwhen they see the adults around themmodeling the behavior and skillsthey want the children to learnUpon reaching the teenage years, our children walk across a bridgespanning the river of uncertainty—from the security of childhood onone side—to the other side of sole responsibility. It is a swingingbridge, with teenagers swaying at the beginning, in the middle, andat the end—sometimes hanging on precariously along the way—tillfinally stepping onto the firm ground of solo independence.Adults need to extend teenagers a helping handif they are about to fallOtherwise we should just observeand allow them to master their walkThe basis for their behavior as teenagers, was set before they becameteenagers. In the teenage years the fledglings are testing theirwings. Adults can guide but not act for teenagers—otherwise theywon't reach the end of their bridge to independence—or will be sloweddown past the age of twenty.Guidelines for teenage behavior at home and at school should be setby the parents and teachers with repercussions made known beforehand,and then enacted if the rules are violated. As adults, we have goldenopportunities to inspire and bring out the best in children—our nextgeneration—by our words and actions. Let us, as responsible adults,fully love each other, and our children—living as the best examplesthat we can.Compromise has a place in parenting…When enforcing our rules we do not always have to play the tyrant. Wecan give in on small points. Then when the big problems come, we canstick to our principles without the child feeling that we are neverflexible. This attitude—this compromise in parenting—shows childrenthat each event in life requires individual consideration—that onepat way will not be the wisest choice in each situation.Compromise in parenting involves our partner, too. It makes us feelgood to give in to our partner's requests sometimes—when we wouldrather do something else. Children learn from example more thanfrom words. They find their way to happiness by seeing us care forothers. Expressing care through action is the way we manifest reallove.In summary, compromise with the children does not necessarily makethem think that we are weak or can be easily swayed. It shows themthat we use our mind to weigh the merits of each individualsituation. Why be bound to one of our own rules—when a better way isevident?Teenagers are individualssoon to be adultspart of our world wide familyLet's guide their journeyby being the best we can beGiving them our caring love, our guidanceTeenagers are people, tooand one day may be parentsFrom the highest consciousness in ourselvesLet's give them the best of ourselves</PRE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></P>