river
08-22-2006, 07:21 PM
heollo every one mssed you all i lam not here to cry today i am letting you all know i lmade it through the first rough time in my six months.. i did not let go and give in to the easy and softer way,, my next step after those i had just taken rippen away my jpride and justify (which i looke up in the dictionary to see how in my case it was used) i came out with a strong self of confidence and how i feel about myself is courage. I am now to take away my fiestiness and allow myself to be vulnerable and not cover up what i am afraid of.. My sponsor and i talked some on me talking around things explaining the self not being direct.. it is fear based and what i fear is being riduculed and walked away from yeah its sad i feel sad it brings up emmotions i hadn't seen before.. now the key ist How do I do lthis? other things are going on also my boyfriend and i have the same charges he went to court yesterday and it doesn't look good, i am italian hes african american and here in these parts to t he law I am a victim in his world He taken me hostage is how they see it and this makes me so mad because first off it was my idea i talked him into doing the crime , there is my defense mode kicken in and wantting to tell the judge hes so wrong there is so much crime i committed an never gotten caught for, crime i done alone.// if he goes back to prison i dont know how much more i can take i am not leaving his side, i'm with him all the way i just wish our road was at an end.. and we begin our life again clean and healthy well much love And God Blessing you alll River