20 days

[Monica]

I have been sober, (not drinking beer,) for 20 days. I have learned much so far on this journey. Today what kept me from having a drink was I thought the drink through to the other side of what it would be. I feel pretty alone in my quest for sobriety as no one I know thinks of me as a problem drinker. My addiction is more a life long attraction toward to alter my mind but I have functioned as and am an upstanding person. My spouse would like me to contionue, "social drinking," with him. 20 days into sobriety it is hard to remember why I am doing this... I am trying to remember that I am better off not drinking at all...

[peajaye]

I didn't drink for 3 days before entering a treatment center and it was pretty tough. I did it one day at a time and after being admitted to treatment it wasn't as difficult because of all the therapy and being physically removed. Twenty days is quite an accomplishment on your own. Are you going to meetings or are you completely by yourself? Great job on thinking it through. In the beginning of my sobriety, I had memories that would flash before my eyes when I would think of taking a drink. Horrible memories that were on the other side of my picking up a drink. I wouldn't stop at a drink or two, but would go on to incomprehensible demoralization. That is where drinking took me. Keep coming back to share with us how you're doing.

[admin]

:46: Monica, I am very glad to have you join us here. You are not alone. Lots of us have been right where you are at. Have you been to any meetings? I found meetings very helpful in my recovery. You get the f2f (face to face) support. Please feel free to continue to share with us here. We are here for you. Some members here also use the forum Online Journals/Diaries in the everyday recovery. Please feel free to start a journal there for yourself. I look forward to getting to know you better. I hope you will continue to come back and share with us. :42:

Love,
Tammy

[cassie]

Hi Monica :smile:
Welcome to the forum. I am cassie, grateful recovering alcoholic. And congratulations on your decision not to drink - 20 days is great. :29: Please feel free to ask any questions about any topic.

I hit a pretty rough bottom - drinking 24/7 and a DUI in which people were injured and could have been killed. By the grace of my Higher Power who I call God, that did not happen. From that day, my life took a turn onto the road of recovery and I cringe when I think back to those days and what alcohol did to me.

There are awesome benefits to come from not drinking - but we each have to realize what that means to us. I was told that if you think you might have a problem with alcohol, you probably do. It is a progessive disease that slowly takes over your life. And it doesn't care who or where you are in life.

I have found a great deal of experience, strength, wisdom and hope from people in this recovery forum who had what I wanted - sobriety. So please keep coming back to share. You are not alone. :1:

[janbear]

:100: Monica. That is great that you havent had any beer in 20 days. I tend to think the drink through to the end also. I know reality for me and so many others is jail, institutions, or the ultimate death. Please make yourself at home here and look around the board and feel free to continue to share with us. We understand what it is like. :42:

[Kai Stevens]

Hello Monica, I'm Kai, grateful alcoholic. So very glad you joined us. This is a really great place with some awesome people who understand and want to support and help you.

Going to meetings and meeting face to face with other alcoholics will really help you not feel so alone. Do you have an Alcoholics Anonymous book? It's got the answers in it.

I was a 'high bottom' alcoholic, too. That is to say, I still had my house, my job, my kids. I even felt guilty at first for going to AA because when I heard how much others had suffered, I felt like I was being a 'whiner'. But I soon understood that I did belong because my drinking was KILLING me inside, robbing me of my self-esteem, self-worth, my hope, my dreams, my humanity.

When your alcoholism tells you that you are alone, just remember that we are all right there with you. You are in our prayers, you are now part of a huge family. Keep coming back, and try to hook up with some face to face recovery where you live. You don't ever have to do ANY of this alone.

Love ya later. Kai

[1liner]

HI MONICA,
I'VE GOT JUST A LITTLE TIME TOO. I WAKE UP EVERYDAY AND JOIN THE PROGAM OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, THAT NEVER FAILS TO BRING ME BACK TO STEP 1, AND WHAT BROUGHT ME TO MY KNEES.
I REMEMBER THE DAY I NEEDED TO ASK FOR HELP. I DON'T THINK, GOD WILLING, I'LL EVER FORGET. JUST REMEMBER .
PEACE, STEVE'O'

[zoomie]

I just wanted to add a hi and welcome to cyberrecovery!

[Prescott]

Hi Monica, Welcome to our group. Look forward to getting to know you. Keep coming back.

[free2bunme]

[/QUOTE] I was a 'high bottom' alcoholic, too. That is to say, I still had my house, my job, my kids. I even felt guilty at first for going to AA because when I heard how much others had suffered, I felt like I was being a 'whiner'. But I soon understood that I did belong because my drinking was KILLING me inside, robbing me of my self-esteem, self-worth, my hope, my dreams, my humanity.

When your alcoholism tells you that you are alone, just remember that we are all right there with you. You are in our prayers, you are now part of a huge family. Keep coming back, and try to hook up with some face to face recovery where you live. You don't ever have to do ANY of this alone. [/QUOTE]

Wow, great share Kai, I also really identified with your post.

Welcome to the group Monica! You have received a lot of great suggestions already. Most importantly, I agree that going to AA meetings would help you to get the support that you need and allow you to hear your own story. I also think you would benefit from getting a copy of the Big Book and reading the stories in the back. There are all types of alcoholics, you don't have to be hanging out in the gutter to get off the downward escalator. I truly believe that nobody ends up in the rooms by mistake ... if you think you are an alcoholic, you likely are an alcoholic. It's not the amount that you drink, it's what it does to your life. Do you have an obsession to drink when you are not? Do you lose control when you do drink? Are you managing your life around your drinking habits? We are glad you are here and hope you come back and share some more!
Love,
Frannie

[soberaddy]

:smile: :cool: Welcome to Cyberrecovery (((Monica)))! I am really proud of you for having made this decision to quit drinking. We will encounter persons, whether close to us or not, that do not understand why on earth we would be doing something like this. If at all possible, as it was suggested, try going AA meetings. There Monica, I can guarantee you everyone will understand how you feel and what you are going through. What I did at first is I had 2 ladies coming to see me (I was a mess) and they told me their story, and that's when I knew without a doubt that I belong with AA. I have been a grateful member now for 3.5 yrs. Again Monica, thumbs up to you for this positive step in your life :1: :cool: .

Any questions or anything at all, please share with us. I'm Anne an alcoholic/addict from BC, Canada.

:97: :92: :103:

[flickchic]

:53:Monica and :46:


:89: on 20 days sober!!!! :90: :145:, that's awesome!!!!!, especially doing that on your own, well done.:1:

I'm Felicity, I live in Australia, ama clean d.addict and one very grateful recovering alcoholic. My alcoholism has been a lifetime disease also, I hit my rock bottom in January this year, I thought I was pretty much a "social" drinker, except every so often I would have a binge and end up having "black out rages".....because of all the underlying issues still buried within I would then release my anger with rages and I ended up assaulting my partner. He had had enough and left me, fair and square on my rear end!!....I am very very grateful that I have the support of "our" family and friends here and through the programme I have come to know my Higher Power whom I call God. Without those and the support I have in my physical life I would not be here today. My partner and I reunited and although he is a drinker he supports me in my journey to the best of his ability.

I read you have some wonderful suggestions here already and I hope you are able to reach out and get some support as I feel it very necc. to have that and guidance during your journey of sobriety.....it can be a very lonely road without support...and sometimes all it takes to "hang in there" is knowing you can share with others who are "going through" the same steps and or those whom have "been there".

I really wish you well and pray for your recovery. Please know "you are not alone", we are all here to help and support you and please; "keep coming back".

Not sure if you know The Serenity Prayer or not, for me it was my life link during drug rehab and continues to be so for my alcoholism;

http://d21c.com/kiddlehopper/12stepgraphics/mickeyserenityprayer.gif (http://d21c.com/kiddlehopper/12stepgraphics/mickeyserenityprayer.gif)

God Bless,