hunkychunky1
09-05-2006, 06:09 AM
Hi ! I am a 48 year old man. I have always known i was somehow different but i have struggled through life just thinking i was a kind loving gentle sensitive person with strong ethics and morals. Without realising it I have had the symptoms of Attention deficit disorder, Co Dependancy, all my life
I was brought up in a family with guilt shamer and secrets as my mother had had a child (my older sister out of wedlock) my father now 84 is also heavily Co Dependant. My mother died in jan this year of cancer. My sisters show signs of Co Dependancy also. I was unfortunately exposed to paint fumes and household chemicals as a child and was severely Asthmatic I am also now chemically sensitive. (symptoms of M.E / chronic fatigue) as i believe that i have a weakened auto immune system. My concentration and focus problems sabotaged my school and careers as i made constant errors in my work. ( i seem more than ever now to have learning difficulties.)
After a change in direction regarding work and with less stress i found a new confidence. In 1986 after three years of dating a girl i got married.
She was an adopted only child and my Co Dependancy kicked in as i felt
pity for her. She was very needy jealous and controlling but i just wanted to make her happy. I gave up my own identity just to please her and turned to
workaholism to make me happy. I became over responsible in that role as well
and worked myself into the ground. My employers manipulated , coersed ,and bullied me into doing work which was unethical and immoral and when i tried to resign they threatened me.in 1990 I had a mental breakdown which i believe now was complex post traumatic stress. It took me four years to recover from the resulting depression. For ages i wanted to get back to my former productive self but i eventually gave up trying as i no longer had the energy.My bodies immune and nervous system has gone down hill ever since.
and i have been unable to hold down a full time job. In 1999 my parents bought me a house to live in on the condition that i got in lodgers to help pay the morgage. One of these lodgers had severe anxiety and attention seeking problems andf as i dfid not want to make him suffer any more i tried to turn a blind eye to what was happening. He had unusual behaviour problems and would get very jealous and controlling by using attention seeking tantrums
and emotional outbursts. continued
I was brought up in a family with guilt shamer and secrets as my mother had had a child (my older sister out of wedlock) my father now 84 is also heavily Co Dependant. My mother died in jan this year of cancer. My sisters show signs of Co Dependancy also. I was unfortunately exposed to paint fumes and household chemicals as a child and was severely Asthmatic I am also now chemically sensitive. (symptoms of M.E / chronic fatigue) as i believe that i have a weakened auto immune system. My concentration and focus problems sabotaged my school and careers as i made constant errors in my work. ( i seem more than ever now to have learning difficulties.)
After a change in direction regarding work and with less stress i found a new confidence. In 1986 after three years of dating a girl i got married.
She was an adopted only child and my Co Dependancy kicked in as i felt
pity for her. She was very needy jealous and controlling but i just wanted to make her happy. I gave up my own identity just to please her and turned to
workaholism to make me happy. I became over responsible in that role as well
and worked myself into the ground. My employers manipulated , coersed ,and bullied me into doing work which was unethical and immoral and when i tried to resign they threatened me.in 1990 I had a mental breakdown which i believe now was complex post traumatic stress. It took me four years to recover from the resulting depression. For ages i wanted to get back to my former productive self but i eventually gave up trying as i no longer had the energy.My bodies immune and nervous system has gone down hill ever since.
and i have been unable to hold down a full time job. In 1999 my parents bought me a house to live in on the condition that i got in lodgers to help pay the morgage. One of these lodgers had severe anxiety and attention seeking problems andf as i dfid not want to make him suffer any more i tried to turn a blind eye to what was happening. He had unusual behaviour problems and would get very jealous and controlling by using attention seeking tantrums
and emotional outbursts. continued