janbear
06-09-2006, 03:04 PM
Seeing ourselves in new Ways
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When we were children, our parents and other important adults served as mirrors for us. They taught us who we were by the ways they "mirrored" reality.We then internalized these perspectives and carried them with us into our adult lives.
I we experienced neglect, abuse, criticism, or smothering as children, then we are likely to see ourselves in negative ways as adults. Neglect teaches children that they are uninteresting and unimportant. Criticism teaches them that they are never good enough or that they are valuable only if they achieve perfection. Smothering teaches them they are incompetent and valuable only as an extension of the parent. Abuse teaches them that they are powerless and that something must be terribly wrong with them.
In order to heal from distorted images of ourselves, we need a positive frame of reference outside of ourselves. Healing begins when we allow ourselves to see ourselves as God sees us. God's point of view is independent of our own. He can "mirror" reality for us. The good news is that God does not neglect or criticize or smother or abuse. He loves, respects, and values us as no parent has ever been able to do. He can provide a new and very different kind of mirror for us. As we gradually internalize the attitudes God has toward us, we'll begin to view ourselves in new and healthy ways. -Dale and Juanita Ryan
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When we were children, our parents and other important adults served as mirrors for us. They taught us who we were by the ways they "mirrored" reality.We then internalized these perspectives and carried them with us into our adult lives.
I we experienced neglect, abuse, criticism, or smothering as children, then we are likely to see ourselves in negative ways as adults. Neglect teaches children that they are uninteresting and unimportant. Criticism teaches them that they are never good enough or that they are valuable only if they achieve perfection. Smothering teaches them they are incompetent and valuable only as an extension of the parent. Abuse teaches them that they are powerless and that something must be terribly wrong with them.
In order to heal from distorted images of ourselves, we need a positive frame of reference outside of ourselves. Healing begins when we allow ourselves to see ourselves as God sees us. God's point of view is independent of our own. He can "mirror" reality for us. The good news is that God does not neglect or criticize or smother or abuse. He loves, respects, and values us as no parent has ever been able to do. He can provide a new and very different kind of mirror for us. As we gradually internalize the attitudes God has toward us, we'll begin to view ourselves in new and healthy ways. -Dale and Juanita Ryan