janbear
09-12-2006, 01:32 PM
LIFE WOULD BE EASY... IF IT WEREN'T FOR PASSIVE PEOPLE
by Connie Podesta
Why bother learning how to deal with passive people? They are the saintly, nice, never-cause-a-fuss, do-whatever-you-want people. Sounds like the kind of people you would like to have around all the time, right? Wrong!
Dealing with the Passive Person
Although it is true that passives are usually considered nice people, they do cause a fuss - constantly! They are frustrating and confusing, insincere and vague, wishy-washy and unreliable. They do not tell you how they really feel because they are too busy telling you what they think you want to hear or will keep the peace.
Passives lack the trust and self-confidence needed to communicate assertively. They do not trust us to respond positively to any assertive attempts on their part because that has not been their experience in the past.
What can I do to help?
Although it is impossible to change another person, we can change how we respond and react to people and situations. Passives have learned how to avoid confrontation at any cost.
Whatever the reason, passives need a safe, functional environment where they can learn that it is crucial to be open, direct and assertive if they want to be an integral part of any relationship. Passives need to experience what it is like to be assertive without hurting someone's feelings or making someone angry.
by Connie Podesta
Why bother learning how to deal with passive people? They are the saintly, nice, never-cause-a-fuss, do-whatever-you-want people. Sounds like the kind of people you would like to have around all the time, right? Wrong!
Dealing with the Passive Person
Although it is true that passives are usually considered nice people, they do cause a fuss - constantly! They are frustrating and confusing, insincere and vague, wishy-washy and unreliable. They do not tell you how they really feel because they are too busy telling you what they think you want to hear or will keep the peace.
Passives lack the trust and self-confidence needed to communicate assertively. They do not trust us to respond positively to any assertive attempts on their part because that has not been their experience in the past.
What can I do to help?
Although it is impossible to change another person, we can change how we respond and react to people and situations. Passives have learned how to avoid confrontation at any cost.
Whatever the reason, passives need a safe, functional environment where they can learn that it is crucial to be open, direct and assertive if they want to be an integral part of any relationship. Passives need to experience what it is like to be assertive without hurting someone's feelings or making someone angry.