diagnosis?

[hans1]

I would like to know what you think I am suffering from, I'll describe the symptoms I have:
- I was always bad with people, I just never understood them. It's better now since I specifically trained myself in empathy.
- I've always been pretty unaware of my own emotions. At age 18 I remember thinking I had no emotions. Even now it's common to notice symptoms and then think "why is my heart beating so fast??".. although I've gotten a bit better at understanding what emotions I am feeling (I think)
- Everything is so hard. This is wrecking my life. Everything just scares me and stresses me out.. it's as if all my time is spent unsuccesfully trying to calm myself down. I don't know why but even doing simple thing like taking a shower, cooking food or going to the supermarket scare me a lot and are very stressful! There doesn't seem to be anything in particular that scares me, more generally "everything".
- I have plenty of friends (people seem to like me easily) but I don't see them often because I prefer to be alone for the most part. It's just too stressful to be around people too often - as everything is too stressful.
- I can't complain about female interest (it's not uncommon to be approached by girls at social events even), but ultimately I'm always the one keeping things off. Not that I don't want to have a girlfriend, but the prospect is just too scary and stressful I think
- I don't have a sleeping rythm. I sleep some during the day, some during the night. Sometimes I sleep a lot, sometimes very little. There’s no pattern.
- There are some things I do compulsory, I think in an attempt to calm myself down. I smoke cigarettes almost constantly. I browse internet forums a lot. I don't know if I generally have a lot of patterns that I keep repeating though
- If something peaks my interest, I will take it on fanatically. And I will usually get very good at it quickly too. (I once took a test and I have a high IQ) Stuff like chess, go (japanese board game).. or strategy games in general I get very good at. The last thing was poker, which I played on the internet. I made a good deal of money that way, but now I can't play anymore, the ‘freaking on it phase’ has faded and now it's just way too stressful (like everything else in life)
- I somehow managed to struggle myself into my last year of civil engineer (university study). Almost never gone to classes, and for the most part I took exams without having studied anything at all, or only a few hours before the exam. If there were tasks, I'd typically copy them from others.
- You probably can't tell I'm so panicy when you see me. In fact, people more often describe me as very calm and laid-back. My lack of activity probably looks more like laziness. (I have a very stoic expression and attitude I think)

Recently I've been taking some anti-depressants, like serlain (zoloft) and now anafranil (clomipramine) and lambripol, but it doesn't seem to help with my constant stress at all.

I'd really like to know what is wrong with me, and if there is something out that can help me. Are these symptoms I described typical of something?

Thanks a lot

[janbear]

Hi hans1, not being a Dr. just a person in recovery from drugs/alcohol, and bipolar, i am not comfortable telling people what they are suffering from. We do come together to support each other with whatever is going on and share our own experience, strength and hope. I would suggest going to a Psychologist, or Psychiatrist.They diagnosed me. We let them do the diagnosing. What you shared does remind me of when i use to suffer from panic attacks, but i dont know if that is what you are suffering from. It could be something totally different.

[Kai Stevens]

Hello, I'm Kai, grateful alcoholic. I have manic depression, complicated by a seizure disorder.

I am not a doctor, but when you wrote about how every task was overwhelming (taking a shower), always wanting to be alone, not being able to have a regular sleep paturn; well, it sounded like the way I felt with my depression. And, when I would get manic I would get very impulsive and absolutely obsessed with some activities.

Are you communicating all this with your doctor? I had to journal daily to make sure that my extreme patturns were recorded and I would write down any questions I had for him too. That way when I saw him next I could give him a clearer, more accurate picture of what I was going through.

I had generalized anxiety for years and eventually started having anxiety attacks and panic attacks. My first panic attack, I thought I was dying.

You really need to talk to your doc about what you are feeling.

[hans1]

I think now from other feedback I have received that I might have ADD..

[Doraine]

You need a psychologist or psychiatrist to get a diagnosis and treatment. Please don't hesitate to find one. We are a group of recovering people not equipped to diagnose anyone. Good luck.

[hans1]

I kinda always convince my psychiatrist that I have whatever I think I have at that time.. it's been various things already.. so I think it's important that I get it right myself, lol..

[mellotripp]

Having myself a diagnosis that has evolutioned from schizo to schizo. The honesty that I have achieved thru the program allows me to fool no one but myself if it is true that I dont need to see a Doc. If I do then I must put my faith in God that he has brought me before the right physician. Being dishonest with my Doctor only got me prescribed the wrong treatment. You truly can't get away with anything with doctors cause they always give you the bill.

[kjazzygirl]

I agree with the others that we cannot dz. However, have you ever been tested for Bipolar? Sounds like a possiblility or something along the BP spectrum. It is very important that you get an accurate diagnosis from a psychiatrist...they are the only md qualified to dz these types of disorders. For one thing, a GP will likely put you on an antidepressant for anxiety and/or depressions. Some antidepressants can be very dangerous for BP patients - it can send them into a manic phase. www.pendulum.org is an excellent forum for bipolar if you want to check it out and see if any of the posts you read seem to fit your symptoms. Good luck! K

[barita_lola]

Hi friend, I understand that you are going through a rough time. I think it would be better for you if you make good friendship with some one to whom you can share your all problem. I personally believe that if you discuss these issues with some one you will certainly feel much better.

[Mr.Willing]

thnx for the bravery anyway...and again i don't think u should diagnose urself anyway...the way u describe it seems very general to me...see a professional ... it is better